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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) (1293 Views)
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The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 7:54pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
I hardly hear or read of a married woman being at crossroads between choosing her dad over her husband or otherwise, it's always these men relegating their wives(life partner) to derogatory term to elate their mothers. I have done my observations and come to the conclusion that men that does this or planning to do are raised in a dyfunctional family, a case where their fathers failed in his fatherly and husbands duty. Boys raised in these homes are not blind, they constantly saw their dad treated their mum as a low class citizens. In a worse scenario the mother becomes the father and mother at same time, fending for them and siblings. Yes! You're indebted to your mummy, but not at the detriment of a Good wife. We all are the responsibility of our parents, your mother isn't an exception. Really? Like some would not mind losing their marriages or wives to their mothers. My brother, stop making the same mistakes your daddy made, else your son(s) will continue where you stopped. Your mother is the responsibility of your daddy, stop trying to be the husband your daddy wasn't able to be to her, treat your wife the way you wished your daddy treated your mum. Our mothers sometimes didnt make the best marital choice and we saw the consequences, but then your patner shouldn't have to pay for it. Wives are not picked from the gutters, they equally have parents that suffered to raise them, yet, you'd hardly ever see a woman in such a compromising position. You will not get married to your mum or siblings, learn to treat your patner right, set boundaries as well. Dont treat your wife like trash because of your mother, stop trying to be the husband she never had. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by NextD18: 7:58pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Go straight to the point. Are you instructing men to love their wife[A visitor] more than their mum[The woman that birthed them and played a role in raising them]? Is that your point? 1 Like
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Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Davash222(m): 8:05pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Guys, always remember, out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. You can have many wives but you can only have one mother. Your wife may remarry when you die, but your mom will always be your mom even when you die.. The love for a wife is different from the love for a mother. 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by xendra: 8:11pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
they don't have sense na, any man saying such is just indirectly telling us that his father is a failure. I don't see Dangote's son ever saying he will take care of his mother more than his wife Dangote go ask am whether he don baff em mama sef no go gree because you no go fit treat her better than her husband. but you see those ones wey their papa done waste away him youth ehen na dem dey play husband role for their mama dey form care and some mothers now will even leave their husbands and go live with their child for where the grass is greener las las everybody na gold digger 6 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:15pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
NextD18:My point is you do not relegate your wife because of your mother. Your mother played her role by birthing and raising you, that was her responsibility as a mother. Your wife will birth and raise your children as well. A good mother will not blackmail her son because she played her role as a mother. Be responsible for your wife, same way your dad is meant to be your mothers responsibility. Dont treat your wife like trash cos of your mum, your kids are watching 5 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:16pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Davash222:. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by NextD18: 8:16pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
rockstarB:You are deviating from my question. I asked a question and didn't talk about who to relegate or promote. My question was strictly on LOVE. I mean real and natural LOVE. Again I ask, you mean a man should LOVE and value her wife[A visitor who was fvckin around when he was struggling to make it] more than her mother[Who played a role with his dad to suffer and raise him up to be what he is]? Answer me! Your next mention should come with a direct answer or consider yourself ignored. 1 Like
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Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by LilMissFavvy(f): 8:19pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Interesting thread.....space booked |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:20pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
xendra:You get my point. The only reason a mother-in-law will pack her load to her son's house is because she lacks the love of a husband, such mothers have poured all the love in ther heart to their sons such that no love left for the husband. How can you take their love away from them? A woman that didnt experience a good marriage will unconsciously destroy her sons marriage. This goes both ways tho. The goodness of a good husband cannot be over emphasized. Be good to your wives, so your kids can have good marriages. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:25pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Davash222:And your mother isn't your fathers relative right? And will your mother give birth to you all over again if you die before her? Mothers are good at blackmailing their kids sha. Men hardly ever fight their wives over their fathers. Let your father be the one emotionally in love with your mum, let him be the one to treat her like a wife. 5 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Davash222(m): 8:29pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
rockstarB:My dear, I'm emotionally in love with my mother.. That's not your business. You are not in the position to tell me who to love. 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:31pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
NextD18:You do not need to use the word MORE. In a normal condition nature would take its course. You are building a lifetime with the woman you chose to marry. Whether she was an olosho before doesnt hold water, your parents suffered together to raise you because that is what it takes to raise children, same way your wife's parents did on her. The way I love my parents and siblings is definitely different from the emotions I feel for a man. That is why a sane man will not have sex or be moved to have sex with his sister, yes you love her but the emotions you feel for her is different from the one you feel towards your wife or gf. A good mother will not trouble your marriage. 6 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:33pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Davash222:dey there dey deceive yourself. Can you raise a family with your mother? NO, so? 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Davash222(m): 8:36pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
rockstarB:Davido is a father without a wife, same with Wizkid. 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 8:40pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
Davash222:That way you can perform your husband duties on your mother without a woman being left to feel like the side chick of her husband 2 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by xendra: 8:59pm On Mar 22, 2020 |
NextD18:ehn, na so! na dat same eye your papa take dey look your mama as visitor and na so your son's go value dat their mama wey you dey talk anyhow about here. na sense you just never get that's what the OP is trying to tell you 2 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by chii8(f): 4:52am On Mar 23, 2020 |
Hmmm.... |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by yeyeosoronga: 5:45am On Mar 23, 2020 |
Much ado about nothing. Women should stop carrying marriage on their heads. They end up being losers for that. Work on your financial capabilities and don't ever give that up for marriage or raising a family in Nigeria. Your sacrifices will never be appreciated. Allow men to love their mothers. Nobody said you should not love your own mother/father, as they also sacrificed a lot for you. Treat people with the same courtesy they give to you. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 7:57am On Mar 23, 2020 |
yeyeosoronga:I feel marriage is a bit difficult here because of the subtle competition with the in-laws, you can look out for your parents and siblings but not at the expense of your marriage. Mothers always win tho, this is the essence of this post itself. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by crackkhaus: 8:06am On Mar 23, 2020 |
yeyeosoronga:Just to provide another perspective... The other day one smart-by-half chic was ranting that men do not care about their mothers (or parents generally) as much as women do, which is why men don't stay/visit hospitals to spend time with their sick mothers. I guess those men were putting their own families and wives above their mothers, and should be commended... No? 3 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by jaksmillioniar: 8:36am On Mar 23, 2020 |
rockstarB:shot ur mouth Abd stop typing like a baby u expect me to love my wife over mum. av know my wife 2 years but know mum 38 years.wife can cheat on u Abd cause u pains how many woman are even faithful to hubby. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by jaksmillioniar: 8:37am On Mar 23, 2020 |
xendra:sware u have Neva cheat on ur hubby b4 |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 9:34am On Mar 23, 2020 |
rockstarB:I beg to differ. Not all people who suffer inflict the same on others. Some become the blockade of that suffering from touchinv others. The key to a better life generally whether its marriage or whatever is to have EMPATHY. When you have empathy you cannot treat a person different from how you would want to be treated. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by nautybride: 9:46am On Mar 23, 2020 |
All I see is; People have stopped loving one another a long ago. Imagine the comparison: The place of mothers and wives, is it not different? Anyone claiming you emotionally love your mother too much should sleep with her and let her birth your children. Real love tolerate a lot. It's patient and calm. Love is lost in the world and that is why everything is as it is. 3 Likes |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Mariangeles(f): 9:53am On Mar 23, 2020 |
[s] Davash222: The bolded is the only truth in that trash you typed. Low budget assistant NwaAmaikpe! 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by desvi: 9:54am On Mar 23, 2020 |
yeyeosoronga: the Nigerian female should avoid marriage like Corona 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 10:04am On Mar 23, 2020 |
Alero3Arubi:Yes While some move on to be a better version of their parents, some fails to move on and become worse version of their parents. It depends in individual 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 10:07am On Mar 23, 2020 |
crackkhaus:No they are probably putting their side chicks above both their parents and wives in this scenario 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 10:07am On Mar 23, 2020 |
jaksmillioniar:This is one of the problem we face in Africa, we were never allowed to be a grown individual, we suck our mummy's breast for such a long time that building a family or separating from our parents to be the grown person we are meant to be is difficult. At 30, some men are still living under their mothers, dictating how their lives should go about, you cannot fully be a grown man or woman under your parents, you have to separate so you can go on the journey of self discovery. About cheating, I guess women are trying to keep up with ya'll. I'm not in support of adultery in any way 1 Like |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Mariangeles(f): 10:11am On Mar 23, 2020 |
rockstarB: In a man's life, there's a place for his mother, and for his wife. Most women of nowadays are so selfish, they just want the men all to themselves, ignoring the fact that there's a woman who's always being and who'll always be in his life. Until they accept that fact, they'll keep competing at their own detriment. Even the other day, a weakling-poor-excuse-for-man created a thread, asking how to keep his mother away from his home. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by crackkhaus: 10:30am On Mar 23, 2020 |
rockstarB:Yea, men are always evil no matter what. |
Re: The Man; His Mother And Wife (my Perspective) by Nobody: 10:32am On Mar 23, 2020 |
crackkhaus:No, if a man really wants to, his wife wont stop him from taking care of his mother in an hospital. |
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