Kobojunkie:

This clearly shows how our society is one that takes something that could work to our benefit and turn it on it's head. Kind of like what we did to democracy, that some now don't even think democracy works as a result. There is no shiny solution that is going to cure the Nigerian society of the many ills. What needs to happen is we all go back to tackling the problems at the root, and again, this is why I believe charity, and healthy culture of giving, starts from within the home. Add the churches.mosques, etc, to the equation.

lola.luv:
I remember the time I went to buy airtime outside the hostel and saw the airtime salesboy shivering in the Northern harmattan cold.
I went back to the hostel to get my brother's expensive leather jacket that was with me and I lent it to him. I didn't know his name, we weren't friends, but I did it out of human pity for a guy out in the cold in a threadbare shirt. He was supposed to return it before closing. The guy ran off with the jacket and as it turns out, it was his last day at the place.

kitty kat: I have lent money to pll who promised to pay back in 1week and then u leave them for 5months and start asking for your money and all I got was that I shd try and be understanding. Even wen I tried to make this individuals see that I need my money, the response I got was that its not their fault that they can't pay. One even told me to stop disturbin her as she wld pay when she can. This si after 5months of owing over 200k which I gave without even thinking.

Ppl do not deserve good things. I rather go to an orphanage and donate.

naijababe:

I don't disagree with most of your assertion but I am not quite convinced parents can do most of the 'repair' as you said in one of your posts. A parent can do all they can but still end up with kids with completely different idea for many reasons. It seems to me that the only way to achieve a mass evolution of values in a place like Nigeria is to do it by force; enforce it on one generation, the next generation would probably just follow suit.

Kobojunkie:

Are parents doing all they can right now? That, to me, is the question that ought to be asked. What bothers me is a lot of parents, especially in the Nigerian setting, believe they are good parents. I don't know if I agree with that.
Is doing all they can right now simply about working, sweating to make sure the kids are pushed through schools, or systems, we already know are of low standard, while we expect wonders at the end of the day? I don't agree with that.
Raising, and educating a child, should not be left to the schools we have. There are so many youths out there who do not understand what giving is about or how to give back to society and how that is a good thing to do.

naijababe:

I agree with you on the bolded and this is why I think it has to be enforced on the society as a whole, after all these parents can't give what they don't have!

combatmedic: If all the above responses are true, then there must be a disconnect somewhere. I wonder how people who live in a country that is the second most religious nation on planet earth can be selfish to their own ilk. This is another reason why we cannot progress as a nation, we are a bunch of selfish hypocrites.

Kobojunkie:


And Our religious leaders will spend more time training people on the essence of the many beliefs out there. If I don't know any other religion, I know that Christianity requires that every Christian have a giving spirit.It is not good enough to read the Bible and pick and choose what you want and say you are a Christian at the end of the day. Giving is an essential part of the belief and giving without expecting something in return since the Book says the reward is in Heaven.

TeskyMan:

[b]
In addition to what you said, I believe that 'Whatsoever a man sows, the same he shall reap". If you sow love, you'll reap love. If you sow mercy, you'll reap mercy when the need arises......
The subject matter is what baffles me with respect to the perception of people especially we Nigerians to the phrase, "BEING A GIVER". To the glory of God, I'm a regular giver, in fact people tend to name me "father Christmas", even my wife. I have a reason because I was actually brought up to help people. I've heard about stories of people being burnt when helping but I told God that in as much as I give willingly(without a futuristic expectation), then the Lord God will pay me back, which he has been doing.

Yes, people tend to make you look like a fool when we give them. What surprises me most is that when you do not give to the normal person you've been giving over the years, you might end up being hated. I now begin to wonder why you have to hate me because I don't give you now. I keep asking myself, have you forgotten that I used to give you when i had? I have now come to realise that no matter how urgent the request or complain is, my rule is "DO NOT BE QUICK TO GIVE THE MONEY" except it is associated with life and death. Even if you have the cash in your pocket, make sure you give the person the impression that you have to till the ground before the money comes up. This have been working quite well for me.

Finally, I see it as a thing of joy helping people, most especially the 'WIDOWS' and the "ORPHANS" around me. I made a covenant with God that even if I will render help to this categories of people at the detriment of my family, Oh Lord I will. Beloveth, Help has never forsaken me. The secret is, If you attend to God's need in the areas of helping the Widow's, Orphans & the (truely) less privileges, The Lord said it himself that HELPERS shall never depart from you. I believed it, I tapped into it and since, it has been working for me. I also believe it boils down to love. The Bible says LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. If we can keep the commandment, the world will be a better place to live.

I thank God for giving me the grace to be a cheerful giver.

Cheers![/b]

Ujujoan:

It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

chucky234: For its GIVE GIVE GIVE even when I don't expect anything in return I just give as it makes me happy knowing fully well that I just touched someone's life in my own little way.

Kobojunkie:
You speak of mass evolution. No mass evolution of values in Nigeria can yield good results if we continue to avoid tackling our problems at the root. We have had so many projects(government run) that have tried to force people in one way or another to do the right thing. The most recent being the rebranding project, which we all know was just nonsense at the end of the day. You cannot force people who have been raised in one mindset to do things another way without much hardwork and we know most no one wants to commit to such. So we need to start at the basic level. Get Parents to re-evaluate their approach to raising their kids. Are they teaching them all the kids need to know, and understand or are they simply assuming that as long as they(the parents) grade themselves well, that all is well?

naijababe:
Hmmmm, I certainly do not believe it's as bad as you think at the parental level, the key problem as far as I can see is oppression. The average Nigerian, whether rich or poor is not at ease with himself unless he's oppressing someone, even some of the so called helpers do it because of the power it supposedly give them over the people they help! Almost everyone is out to pull a fast one on the next person.

Address the oppressive beast in each individual and half if not most of the problem is solved.

Kobojunkie:

One question: How do you get at the oppressive beast you speak of if you are not willing to get into the personal lives of individuals , and also not willing to ensure that you uproot that beast in the new generation so you will not end up needing to fight a failing war?

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

Oleros: Why is it so hard for people to stick their necks out and help a fellow Nigerian in need except if there is a direct benefit being derived from such people. When the needies are pushed to the wall, they take to social ills, and when the arm of the law catches up with them for commiting such offences, the people that could have made a difference in such lives by giving N1,000.00 or so begin to blame the needy.

naijababe:

Uphold the law at all costs and that beast will die away in most people.

Kobojunkie:

What law? The law DOES NOT fight against this kind, unless you are pushing for dictatorial rule to come back.

The law cannot force individuals to be nice to their fellow man. The law cannot force individuals to give to the man next to them or the stranger in the next village. The law cannot force people to pay attention to the needs of those in their society. There is no such law that can do that.

naijababe:

Oh yes it can! Right now in Nigeria, having money is a one way ticket to getting away with everything and that is oppression. Everybody is therefore looking to be rich to oppress the next person! We are almost in a fiefdom where it's every man for himself; it's the same reason why the person you want to help is immediately thinking of pulling a fast one on you.