i lyk dis moderator o.

Whoa!!! How did a thread about a guy losing his mind get so much hidden post!!

Choi! You gotta love NL!

My dear, dnt worry. U can still overcome ur temptations, but i MUST warn u to cut down some of ur unneccessary expenses. Dnt do anything to please anybody again or do sth because odas are doing in d name of hostin people @ a slightest thing. Another thing is that u have to face only d expenses of ur immediate family and leave ur inlaw with their own after all, they have been surviving before you came.Humble ursf and accept d fact that things are no longer the way they used to be. I promise God will see u tru if u trust Him.m

Efemena_xy:

Don't get emotional on me Jonny.

Besides, was a gun held to his head to spend money the way he did? Did his wife dip her hands into his pockets?

In life, mistakes must be made otherwise we as humans would never learn. I'm not saying the poster made a mistake in spending money on the items / activities, far from it. The mistake here was HOW he spent it. This would be a lesson to both of them to plan a budget and cut their coats according to their family's size.

Now tell me something: How does the violence you've just advocated, re: him beating up his wife, help solve their financial / matrimonial issues?

I never advocated violence. I put that there to show that there should not be ANY LIMITATION on what he wants. You are young and a fake white person, so you carry the white-man's crap on your head. We Africans understand that women love you more when you keep them in their place once in a while.

Johndoe100:

I never advocated violence.

Yes, you did else you wouldn't have mentioned it. Now cut the BS please.

Johndoe100:
I put that there to show that there should not be ANY LIMITATION on what he wants.

Meaning? She should be treated like a punch bag to vent out his frustrations whenever he feels like it? Or you mean treat her like a doormat to be trampled upon because she now bears the title "Mrs"? Or you mean it's all about him, Him, HIM as his wife doesn't count?

Johndoe100: You are young and a fake white person, so you carry the white-man's crap on your head.

Oh yeah? Pray do tell, what makes you think that? And puuuuuuuullleassseeeeeee cut out the inferiority complex attitude. I'd like to believe that beneath all that gra-gra you've got a few working braincells.

Johndoe100:
We Africans understand that women love you more when you keep them in their place once in a while.

Speak for yourself. Not every male here has got caveman antics like you. Anyway, why the hostility Jonny??

Sigh!

JD is in one of his moods again!

SMH!

Efemena_xy:

Meaning? She should be treated like a punch bag to vent out his frustrations whenever he feels like it? Or you mean treat her like a doormat to be trampled upon because she now bears the title "Mrs"? Or you mean it's all about him, Him, HIM as his wife doesn't count?

Well what's wrong with that?

Efemena_xy:
Oh yeah? Pray do tell, what makes you think that? And puuuuuuuullleassseeeeeee cut out the inferiority complex attitude. I'd like to believe that beneath all that gra-gra you've got a few working braincells.

Actually it is you wannabe white people, who we all know are second or even third class citizens in the west and come here to try and "civilize us" that have an inferiority complex. You will never understand how annoying it is for us.

Efemena_xy:
Speak for yourself. Not every male here has got caveman antics like you. Anyway, why the hostility Jonny??

Well this family board is mostly the wannabe whites (even the males), cus most of the Nigerians don't have time for the BS here. Why don't you come to the politics board and try and sell your "you should be like us" rantings?

Sisi_Kill: Sigh!

JD is in one of his moods again!

SMH!

You mean I am real as usual? Yes I am. Proudly African.

Jonny, you this Urhobo man.

Na only deliverance go save you. Nothing you posted up there is worth replying to.

Anyway, just to let you know, I don't do politics.

Johndoe100:
You mean I am real as usual? Yes I am. Proudly African.

You are a person!

Being African is beating up women!

Product of a failed education system!

These are the kinds of cretins that have a right to vote?

OP,

Your wife is not at fault for anything here, you are 100% at fault

You had option of working women, You choose the one who isnt working

You had option of graduates you chose a student

You had option of cancelling the wedding after She confessed to you, You went ahead

You even had another chance when her parent suggested you cancel it, you still no gree

Your wife got admitted in 2010, She got pregnant for a yr, Before she can finish her HND which might not even be useful in the job market would take another 5-6yrs

So you better roll your sleeves and start hustling cos you have laid the foundation for a very tough life

LOL at thread..... @ poster, you never hala!!!!

jst a little problem in your marriage and you r thinking of calling it quits...character is not based on what you are when you are on top, rather it is based on what you do when you are down there.running away from the marriage means ruuning away from your problems which ought not to be..i'd advice you put urself together and know that u are in this thing for life, so look for a better way of solving this problem other than planning to walk outta the marriage
i think you should also sit down and explain things to your wife, try to make make her know you are trying and will do your best to be outta this challenge

debrief08: You wanted a young wife who had no means of supporting you and you got one. She confessed to you before the wedding you still went ahead because your priority wasnt a helpmate but a younger woman.
I dont know what to say, you got your wife pregnant again without proper planning, you made all these decisions by your self, these are the consequence of those decisions.
Marriage is beyond looks and age, its proper fore sight, planning and commitment. Sit back and draw up a realistic plan, like what can she do? Can she get any Job or start any small business? I understand the CS but why spend so much on a naming ceremony? I have issues with Nigerians and Love for show, why not just do child dedication? simple prayers and name your child no need to gather the whole community and end up in debt, in short no need to give birth to a child when you cannot properly plan for them, what of pampers, school fees etc?
Go back and draw a plan for both of you, a realistic one, take your wife to a family planning clinic and get her on a plan now before she gets another baby. You both need to work together and build something, marriage is not just for S3x and wearing ase obi, its for planning, working and supporting each other.

Thanks a lot, It wasn't like I dint plan, at least a few months to the wedding I still had abt 6million Naira working capital which I assumed shld be fine for us to build on, Just had a deal that went sour and really affected a lot of things.
The real problem is dat I sometimes blame her for Leading me on to a point dat it was very hard for me to turn back before tellin me d truth. Fine life has to go on but since the baby came, I'v been doing most of the chores and I still have to go and make the money. Its always " I'm attending to d baby, go and buy dis and dis come if u knw u want to eat after a long day.
Tried setting her up in a biz abt 6months ago with 200k but she can't account for it now plus she forced me to get a house help around dat time (she insisted on a male) and dat one carted away wit 50k and some valuable just after a week so I decided not to get another one.

Babies definitely on hold for now. We both seem to av fallen out of love, communication seem to av broken down and I don't even feel aroused be her anymore and she doesn't care

ayikondu:

Thanks a lot, It wasn't like I dint plan, at least a few months to the wedding I still had abt 6million Naira working capital which I assumed shld be fine for us to build on, Just had a deal that went sour and really affected a lot of things.
The real problem is dat I sometimes blame her for Leading me on to a point dat it was very hard for me to turn back before tellin me d truth. Fine life has to go on but since the baby came, I'v been doing most of the chores and I still have to go and make the money. Its always " I'm attending to d baby, go and buy dis and dis come if u knw u want to eat after a long day.
Tried setting her up in a biz abt 6months ago with 200k but she can't account for it now plus she forced me to get a house help around dat time (she insisted on a male) and dat one carted away wit 50k and some valuable just after a week so I decided not to get another one.

Babies definitely on hold for now. We both seem to av fallen out of love, communication seem to av broken down and I don't even feel aroused be her anymore and she doesn't care

the cookie has finally crumbled then....
no communication, no feelings, no arousal - what a marriage!!!

ayikondu:

Thanks a lot, It wasn't like I dint plan, at least a few months to the wedding I still had abt 6million Naira working capital which I assumed shld be fine for us to build on, Just had a deal that went sour and really affected a lot of things.
The real problem is dat I sometimes blame her for Leading me on to a point dat it was very hard for me to turn back before tellin me d truth. Fine life has to go on but since the baby came, I'v been doing most of the chores and I still have to go and make the money. Its always " I'm attending to d baby, go and buy dis and dis come if u knw u want to eat after a long day.
Tried setting her up in a biz abt 6months ago with 200k but she can't account for it now plus she forced me to get a house help around dat time (she insisted on a male) and dat one carted away wit 50k and some valuable just after a week so I decided not to get another one.

Babies definitely on hold for now. We both seem to av fallen out of love, communication seem to av broken down and I don't even feel aroused be her anymore and she doesn't care

Grow up and fix your marriage. She is younger than you are, so I cannot speak for her. But you be the bigger person in your marriage, so humble yourself enough to get things moving in the right direction abeg! Life is hard ooo . .. . you think you are 30 and you have seen the worst?

Stop trying to MAKE HER DO THINGS . . . she is not you. Focus on doing what you need to as an adult to get money coming in for the family he helped create to fulfill your own desires. And stop blaming her for decisions YOU SANCTION. If you do not want a house-help then don't.

Why do I feel you are not telling her the truth of your financial situation?

Sorry you made a bad decision, married someone based on sentiments not future projections. Married someone who had no clear means of contribution to your home. When we make decisions prepare to live with benefits and consequence.
Stop the blame game, you are the head, get her to sit up, no more house wife madam, she isn't contributing financially she should contribute in running an efficient home.
She has a wrong mindset and so do you, I tell my younger cousins don't get carried away by flat stomach, face and age, look at character, everybody should work hard, no one has monopoly of laziness, its sad when some women feel all they need to contribute is their open legs and pushing out babies, why would a house wife need a house help?
Anyway, sorry about the deal that went sour. As for your family if you have somewhere you can go and reflect for a week do that, come out with a plan, and take charge of your family.
As for Madam, you can't force her, that's the kind of woman you married, hope her youngness compensates for all the stress

Sagamite:

You are a person!

Being African is beating up women!

Product of a failed education system!

These are the kinds of cretins that have a right to vote?

Well well the internet warrior speaks. Look foool, I have said it many times if you pseudo white men don't like us Nigerians, why the fvck are you on Nairaland? Shouldn't you be on poundland, dollarland or euroland? Look at the people who agree with you, Internet Nigerians everywhere other than the real Nigerians. Anyway you are known person (you love that phrase don't you).

Johndoe100:


So what is the answer? I can only tell you that you need to be on the road looking for money, when you find it pretend you didn't and look for some more. If (and when ) you need to De-stress find something you like to do - even if it is beating your wife for putting you in this position - and do it.

I hope your daughters and sisters get thoroughly beaten each time their husbands feel the need to let off steam

I pity the woman who will have the misfortune to end up as your wife

Bloody caveman

Ujujoan:


Cretin!

I concur

Johndoe100:

I put that there to show that there should not be ANY LIMITATION on what he wants. We Africans understand that women love you more when you keep them in their place once in a while.

Uhhh,is this guy for real?? I find it shocking that there are men who think this way in the twenty-first century . "Beat your wife", "put women in their place","nothing wrong in treating women like doormats" etc

O Chi m mo,women are suffering out there . I reject such a man in my life, in Jesus name! Amen!!!

Ishilove:
Uhhh,is this guy for real?? I find it shocking that there are men who think this way in the twenty-first century . "Beat your wife", "put women in their place","nothing wrong in treating women like doormats" etc

O Chi m mo,women are suffering out there . I reject such a man in my life, in Jesus name! Amen!!!

Ishilove will you marry me pleeeeeeese?

Johndoe100:

Well well the internet warrior speaks. Look foool, I have said it many times if you pseudo white men don't like us Nigerians, why the fvck are you on Nairaland? Shouldn't you be on poundland, dollarland or euroland? Look at the people who agree with you, Internet Nigerians everywhere other than the real Nigerians. Anyway you are known person (you love that phrase don't you).

You are a person!

You are a product of a what? ........Say it!

Brace up! This is no time for regrets. Most young women within your wife's age range are hardly in terms with reality and would continue in her dream world of my man providing all at the snap of my fingers if you do nothing about it.Let her know your feelings as well as the financial crisis. The both of you should discuss and see how you can cut down on expenses. Don't forget to go for family planning cos she would definitely get pregnant soon.Caring for two kids with your present predicament is not moi-moi.BE WISE.

cert: Brace up! This is no time for regrets. Most young women within your wife's age range are hardly in terms with reality and would continue in her dream world of my man providing all at the snap of my fingers if you do nothing about it.Let her know your feelings as well as the financial crisis. The both of you should discuss and see how you can cut down on expenses. Don't forget to go for family planning cos she would definitely get pregnant soon.Caring for two kids with your present predicament is not moi-moi.BE WISE.

They don't poke again so no need for FP or can they make babies from arguments?

Johndoe100:


Ishilove will you marry me pleeeeeeese?

Ta, tufia!!!!

Ishilove:
Ta, tufia!!!!

Maybe you can change him lol

Ishilove:
Ta, tufia!!!!

He yaaaaa, why now? I looooove you. I promise to only beat you small small, like ajebota de drive fly and only on ya bum bum. When I use you as doormat abi na footmat de ni, I will wipe my feet small small. So sweeeeeety make we tie de knot

Johndoe100:

He yaaaaa, why now? I looooove you. I promise to only beat you small small, like ajebota de drive fly and only on ya bum bum. When I use you as doormat abi na footmat de ni, I will wipe my feet small small. So sweeeeeety make we tie de knot

Lol. You no well

honeric01:

Maybe you can change him lol

Hell to tha nah. That's a project I have no inclination to embark on.

honeric01:

They don't poke again so no need for FP or can they make babies from arguments?

Have you considered the possibility that if the Op eventually communicates his feeling to his wife, a reconciliation may occur and then the poking you never thought of and then the babies. Its up to him though. Poverty is a choice.

Ishilove:
Hell to tha nah. That's a project I have no inclination to embark on.

who knows, you might end up liking him and changing him hehehe..