sorry to say this ,but most of u still dont understand what the op is passing through.there are three things u dont Bleep with,mother nature,ukrainians and MOTHER IN LAWS.this guy is up against a whole family,there are some events which must have happened before and all this is like pent up anger exploding and outburst.as the guy is now if he makes any wrong move he is a gunner.now he didnt take my advise when i said he should hold on for the mother in law to go ,now they know his game plan.he just played his way into their hands.there is only one thing that can help him now which is SILENCE.dont say anything to ur wife or anybody let them play all their cards,play the complete fool.but be watchful,give them the impression they have won,believe me ur wife will get tired but dont make any move towards them ,be a father to ur children but not an husband anymore,nobody will tell her before she change ,no woman loves to divorce a father of children where she knows that she is the cause.this is ur best second option ,u didnt wait for the right time before asking ur mother in law out

@onatisi you are right, d issue is like fuel waiting for a match to explode. Poster should not do anything, not say anything. He should also go along with his pastor or their pastor. I think their pastor is better. He can act as an Umpire before they impose so many conditions on him that he cannot fulfill.

My family said that i should not say anything to them again. that if my wife does not come back this week. then they will know what to do. so for now i have my fingers crossed. and yes i married my wife traditionaly and church wedding

@OP, you are REAL man.

che che: My family said that i should not say anything to them again. that if my wife does not come back this week. then they will know what to do. so for now i have my fingers crossed. and yes i married my wife traditionaly and church wedding

you are walking right into a trap ,i just hope and pray you survive it ,let me ask you a question which one is most important to you
1) your wife
2)your house
3) your children
4)your life

My life is more important to me. and besides im still young and vibrant. so i no send weda my wife come back or not. what i know is that if school resume and my children no dey school, then i will have a good reason to go take them. my mum is a barrister and i believe she will know the best way to fight for her grand kids. im an only son and we are just 2 myself and my kid sister.

Sorry to hear about your hassles brother.

che che: My life is more important to me. and besides im still young and vibrant. so i no send weda my wife come back or not. what i know is that if school resume and my children no dey school, then i will have a good reason to go take them. my mum is a barrister and i believe she will know the best way to fight for her grand kids. im an only son and we are just 2 myself and my kid sister.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahh i am rolling on the floor oooooooooooooooooo,OP ,OP,OP YOU NO KNOW LIFE AND WHAT WE CALL MAN,I DEY GO SLEEP ,I JUST PRAY SAY MAKE YOU NO LEARN THE BITTER WAY. GUY YOU FUNNY OOOOOO, GOOD NIGHT

@ poster
Good, now that she has moved out willingly, Please whatever you do, DON'T be the one to start the negotiating process, DON'T beg her to come back,as much as it hurts, if you can act like she does not exist, good!
Just make sure your children are well and that is your only duty as for now
Don't even try and reason with her, let her go, forget her, don't go and call any family meeting. Infact just ignore her existence patapata for now as long as you are sure your children are well looked after, just make your children your first and only priority now.

However, poster please be sure in your heart that you have not offended your wife in any way causing her to act out like this, however if you have done no wrong, just ignore her and her family.
Play the waiting game with them, you will not wait for long... . .

@chaircover,from the look of things the op is not been honest,i can deduce from his actions and statements that he is a very arrogant and proud person,he must have done something to have angered his in laws,that was why i said he should just keep quite and wait for things to play out ,he shouldnt invite anybody into the matter or try to prove that he is a man or anything ,but so far withing the last 24hrs he has done exactly completely the opposite
1)he called his father in law on the phone and according to him he told the man he wants his mother in law out that is even while the mother in law is still in ur house.that is an insult of the highest order which no family or husban will accept.
2)he has gone to tell his family about the whole matter and they too must be preparing for battle now.where is the sense in all his actions?
now the lady has left,what he doesnt know is that his in laws know already every single step he will take that was why i told him that he is walking right into a trap.i just hope he survives,marital problem isnt the same as company problems that u can sack ppl and be caling board meetings.when u see men running away from homes or divorcing maybe he thinks they were coward.he is entering a battle or war which consumes mens destiny,and life only those that have the grace of God survives.that was why i asked him again that what does he value most his wife,his house,or his life.if he values his life he better keep shut becos by the time they are thru with him that woman will be bringing men into that house which he is shouting on and he maybe sleeping outside six feet below the ground

if ur mother in law is againt you but ur wife supports you ,then you are safe
2)if your wife is against you but your mother in law supports you ,you are safest
3)but if your mother in law is against you and your wife too is against you ,you are very very very very close to the grave.
A MAN THINKS HARD BEFORE ACTING THAT IS WHY GOD MADE US THE HEAD BUT A WOMAN ACTS BEFORE THINKING THAT IS WHY THEY ARE VERY VERY EASY TO CONVINCE CONFUSE .THEY DO THINGS BEFORE REALISING WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.THIS OP THINKS THIS IS JUST A CHILD PLAY.I PRAY THAT ANYONE READING THIS STORY WILL NEVER EXPERINCE MARITAL PROBLEMS.I GO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT FROM NOW ON.

Yes I totally agree that it is not easy to turn your back on your marriage, 3 kids or 1 kid sef. However, it takes two willing adult to make a marriage work, there should be a limit to what you should allow to happen as a person.

If the man is holier than thou as he has described, then he should certainly not be the first person to reason with the in-laws. Trust me, if it takes that step, then he stops being a man in his home. His in-laws will use his nose to blow trumpets. He will hear eh.

If this is ritualism/cultism crap going out, even the more reason, he should distance himself from that family. Pray and fast for your wife in your own home, when she comes to her senses, she will be back, there are some things we cannot control, you also have to have it in the back of your mind that she may never come back. . . . .

I certainly think he shoud adapt the 'dey look' stance as the mother did not even support your union from the word go.

My MIL is this commanding type that wants what ever she says to stand. even the husband doesnt have any say in their home. before my traditional marriage i paid a lot of fine to the village elders before they attend, (ppl from Delta igbo will understand this) because of what my MIL did. even till now none of the husbands family comes to their house.

i am not arrogant my dear. i called my FIL that i want to see him and he said he was already on his way. i see nothing wrong for someone to ask for a space to put his house in order. before now i use to have more serious issue with my wife and we always settle it before the next day. so how come this one goes on for whole 3 weeks. after cooking my MIL will serve her own and her husbands own in one plate and serve me and my wife on a separate plate.

vanitty: Yes I totally agree that it is not easy to turn your back on your marriage, 3 kids or 1 kid sef. However, it takes two willing adult to make a marriage work, there should be a limit to what you should allow to happen as a person.

If the man is holier than thou as he has described, then he should certainly not be the first person to reason with the in-laws. Trust me, if it takes that step, then he stops being a man in his home. His in-laws will use his nose to blow trumpets. He will hear eh.

If this is ritualism/cultism crap going out, even the more reason, he should distance himself from that family. Pray and fast for your wife in your own home, when she comes to her senses, she will be back, there are some things we cannot control, you also have to have it in the back of your mind that she may never come back. . . . .

I certainly think he shoud adapt the 'dey look' stance as the mother did not even support your union from the word go.

he doesnt want to adopt ur option of watching he wants to fight them headlong to prove that he is a man ,i just dey laugh and my brother occultic influemce from in laws na real ooo,pray u dont experience it,i will tell a story later in the afternoon

The occultic issue came in when i asked for a space to put my house in order. i would have waited for her to go. but for the fact that she asked my wife to come inside when we were having discussion. do you know how it feels to leave like a stranger in your home?

The tone of your voice shows that you and your wife have a good thing going on and can make a good family together if she thinks maturely enough in the days to come as to free herself from the tight reins of her overbearing and controlling mother and return home to you. Those negative attitude of her mother like her shouting on you and commanding your wife to abandon/walk out on you in the middle of a discussion are very unhealthy for your marriage, she was setting fire to a union that was already heated up. The way things are they may have some more drama in the offing for you because you mentioned that she should leave the house for you to mend issues with your wife. She needs to keep such attitude out of the door when she goes visiting her daughter.

Your interest in the whole drama should be getting your wife to see sense with you and return home to her family. I bet that they are all feeling good about having an Amazon-cantankerous-Ezenwanyi(mighty queen) of a mother with the way son and daughter are both home without their spouses all because of her? Your wife better leave her with her husband (her father) and run home to her own family.