I was raised in the UK and have not had much experience dating nigerian men but right before I went to a recent visit to Nigeria I emailed this guy, I met once in college in the UK to ask him about Nigeria since he was living there at the time. We were school mates but did not know each other well. When I got to Nigeria, I called the phone he gave me by email andwe talked for sometime and he asked me to come visit him but I declined the inital invitation because it was little late at night when he asked and my transport issues did not allow for such. (Although I only told him, I thought it was too late) . He then invited me to a work get together at a local resturant. I went and enjoyed dinner with him and his firends but we didn't talk much and I had to leave early due to transport issues. I emailed him when I was about to leave and told him that if he was ever in my area in the UK he should call me. He came back to the UK and sent me an email saying hi. After about two weeks he went back to Nigeria to work for some time and even while he was there we continued to talk back and forth over email for about 1 month (just jokes and about our respective work) and he even teased me saying "I look innocent but he knows that I am not" (what does that mean?) After about a month I asked him to add me to his IM, he said he already had (I just hadn't noticed he added me a month before that) we talked on IM a few times (still same jokes etc) but only when I started the conversation. The other day, I started a conversation with him and he said he had to go and he would be back on IM in an hour, then he came back on after 45 mins and immediatly signed off. I took this to mean that he didn't want to talk to me so the next day, I signed on as invisible to him, he was on IM all day, even longer than he usually is (I began to wonder if he was on there waiting to talk to me) Anyway, the next time I signed on I didn't say anything to him and he didn't say anything to me. That's where we are now and I really can't tell from that if he is interested at all? Should I have done something else? Can I do something more now? I mean he is in Nigeria for the time being (not sure when he's coming back to the UK) so shoudl I just wait until he gets back to the UK and contacts me? What do you think? Thanks.

Hi my sister,

Do you really like this guy? if your answer is YES, then I will say keep in contact with him tactically but don't make your intention known to him openly so that you will not be taken for granted in case he does not have feeling for you.

Also, you need to show more interest about what he does, work, family, studies etc. You share things of like interest.

Let me tell you whether we like it or not, we need to build our relationship with each other as there is no ready-made relationship anywhere in the world.

So, give it a trial but please don't sell yourself cheaply. Bye dear.

peace.

Thanks for your helpful comments Fabiyi, I will try and take your advice because I do really like this guy and would like to start a relationship with him.

the truth of the matter is , if he was interested in u, he would have made his move.
so just play it cool sista, don't rush things, else u just might pass off as being desperate.
its not easy to really judge if he likes u or not, but most men (not all) are usually first or all sexually attracted to a lady b4 they start to like d lady

thus if he is not attracted by what he sees, then he just might neva make a move

lawddie where the hell did he take ur words to

prolly to the cooking pot

clemcykul:

lawddie where the hell did he take your words to

saucekid:

prolly to the cooking pot

you guys should not spoil this thread ooooh.but maybe he took the words+her to the bedroooooooom.

errrrr @ topic,if you want him,let go of pride/ego.
write him again/IM him and see what happens.
be careful,lest you look desperate
goodluck.

bedrooooooooooooom

na that place bad pass oooooooo

The thing is that there are times when i have signed on and just havent had time to chat with anyone.
I leave ma name signed in and have no time cause am working so the fact that he doesnt reply you is no big deal.

Well all i would say is that just email him and ask what the story is?
Tell him you have been away from ur lappi for a wehile and was just wondering if he had tried to contact you.

Thats it. Cuase there is no point liking someone that just doesnt like u back.

About the 'u are not innocent' comment - he is just saying that because he feels u are acting like u dont know that he is trying to date u. Thats just what i think.

This is all very good advice and I appreciate the comments o, but now I am somewhat conflicted, some say I should just contact him again and show my interest, others say I should wait on him to do something because I don't want to look desperate and I definetly do not want to look desperate, I usually think that the man should be the one to make all the first moves, as a woman all I should have to do is respond but now the interpretation of the "I am not so innocent" statement makes me think I have not responded as I should, given what I have already done shouldn't he know that I am interested? After all don't guys know that girls like me will never even go out of thier way to talk to you if we were not interested? If, not what else could I do to show my interest without looking desperate ? or what else could the "I am not so innocent" statement mean?

The guy likes you. You like him. You don't want to seem desperate. He's shy and doesn't want you to think he's hitting on you. You're letting pride get in the way of your happiness. He's letting ego get in the way of his. Now could both of you please stop bullshitting around and get to the part where you fall in love already?

ogrebuga:

The guy likes you. You like him. You don't want to seem desperate. He's shy and doesn't want you to think he's hitting on you. You're letting pride get in the way of your happiness. He's letting ego get in the way of his. Now could both of you please stop bullshitting around and get to the part where you fall in love already?

abi o. . .

@post
go for him. . .that's all i gotz to say