What is the best way to tell a guy that you don't want him? Please, my people, help me!

There is this guy who has been disturbing me for "friendship". Really, l know that this guy loves me, but l don't even like him, not to talk of love. l have told him that l can't leave my beloved guy because of him yet he won't let me be.

Please help me. l don't want to hurt this guy. At the same time, l can't have him as my friend. l need immediate reply to start the practical.

Guys you know how l will do this successfully? Like l said l don't want to hurt this guy.

O yeah. I need help too; same problem.

Please tell him you are in love with somebody and you don't want to break your promise to your guy. Tell him to put everything in the hand of God. Tell him that God knows the best.

What?

[Just] let him be. As time goes on, he'll realise that you are not for him, or you'll realise that you're his. Two way thing dearie.

But if you go outright to break his heart, you might be throwing away something great!

Sit him down, and talk to him gently about your position, and why it wouldnt work out. The approach and the tone you use would make him understand, and sympatise with you. It is a predicament, let him know that .

That would totally break his heart ... some men don't understand you know.

nike4luv, have you noticed that oluwizard, Chxta, and kazey are male? Don't you think ladies ought to listen when men are talking about the way men see things?

yea..but men are different

I've been in that position before, the girl i was "toasting" had a boyfriend that she was going out with, but the guy was in kogi and we were both in abeokuta. Then she sat me down explained her position to me, that she didn't want to cheat on her guy or break his heart because so far he hadn't done anything wrong. But when a guy really wants something he will do almost anything to get that thing I'm afraid . asked her out for over a year before she finally agreed to go out with me (breaking up with her guy in the process).
Anyway what i'm trying to say is that if you sit him down to discuss it, you won't break his heart but it is likely he won't relent in his efforts especially if he feels he is in love with you or he feels he has to have you but if you are blunt and just tell him that you don't want him, u may break his heart but at least he may not disturb u anymore.

If he is in love for real, then he deserves the one year evalution by the lady. Any guy that can be patient for that long, must be worth trying out. Dont you agree ladies, especially when your current guy isnt that caring as he is supposed to be?

Lol. Simply, not, possible.

Let's face it, ladies, if you're not married to your current boyfriend then there's no need to say an outright "no" to other "toasters". Afterall, if you're not yet married, then anything can happen!

Let's learn to use common sense to govern our "love lives"!

Ladies and Gentlemen l have not catch anythingoooooooooooooooo

Goldenoc, you don't have a problem. You said you don't like this guy, then just tell him off? Don't be deceived, that guy might not even love you, he just wants to get into your pants and clear his head about the fantasy's he has about you.

His just infatuated with the fact that he hasn't had you. please just tell him off or before you know it he will warm his way into your heart and you might end up losing the guy you really love. Men are very corny! Beware!

yea..

Hello is it just me or is this a small problem?

Call the guy and tel him you wanna have dinner/lunch/breakfast or wateva with him. Tell him kindly that you have a man in your life now, and you wouldn't wanna break your man's heart (make it ring to his ear that You have a "man").

If after that, he is still stalking you... Disgrace him in public. Call him an ass---hole. Just tell him off, don't answer his calls and oh me gosh, Why do we watch movies So many methods we get from movies.

Seriously i hate it when a guy keep pestering a ladies life after she says "NO".

hot angel have u heard the theory that when a girl says no she really means yes. if this guy has made up his mind to date her by all costs, all what u've said above won't work. There are a lot of guys |(myself not included ) who don't feel the public disgrace is anything. they even feel it will earn them the support of the populace that he is "for real" and that u should give him a chance and lets admit the truth if a guy is dat persistent after some time u may find urself building up an admiration for his tenancy(and that can lead to anything, even a "trial" relationship).
Me thinks she will be better off avoiding the guy and when she runs into him, be standoffish and probably answer in monosyllabules or just ignore him (that usually hurts). inviting to dinner or anything like that, it will give him "ideas".

Guys make me sick..anyways it's all good.

I understand goldenoc that the problem is you don't want to hurt him but you must turn his request down. So, if you tell him you already have some other person in your life you love and he persist, stick to words but never twist your face on him. Make your lover be aware of this situation to always understand you whenever this guy hangs around you in the public. No matter what, he must come to relax else he will make a complete fool of himself.

Thank you

Already my guy is aware, l told him about the situation. You know guys now, he wasn't happy over the hole thing. He is depending on me to do something about the situation.

Lol you are funny sha. You expect the guy, to be happy?

Well since he expects you to do something about it. Just play it cool with him. Just be friends.

o wel

Work it out so that he and your boyfriend meets each other. Then in a way that will make him look stupid while making your boyfriend look great, introduce your boyfriend to him. That will do it, unless he is a born-loser

diakim:

Work it out so that he and your boyfriend meets each other. Then in a way that will make him look stupid while making your boyfriend look great, introduce your boyfriend to him. That will do it, unless he is a born-loser

Good try it, make them friends if posible

What I fear here diakim is that there may be a spake caused by the tension in the suitor. One thing too is pride. So watch out sister goldenoc

just keep on giving him excuses. but good one. dont say i am not interested. they keep on coming back.

My goodness! formulars to solve this problem are not yet enough. come on people! contribute more.

Uhmm, why not try to like uhmm...Reject him and let him worry about his feelings. someone has to be hurt as long as the word "Rejection" is in a matter.

Why even reject a person that cars about you? Better love him in a hidding, eventhough he most need to make it exposed to show the public that he owns you. I think that is better.

Is this supposed to be a "Guide to Nailing"?? [or as we used to say back in the day.. giving 'isho'.. or throwing 'Javelin' ]

Well..

On to the topic..
I don't know why people like complicating matters.. If u already had a man, why then raise the poor boys hopes in the first instance.. He wouldn't be on your case like this if u hadn't given him "green-light" or something..

The simple solution is to arrange to meet him up at a joint somewhere.. [some where posh and exclusive, where he can't cause a scene.. or would be too ashamed to even try causing one..], and then arrive there with your man.. Let your man host everyone for a meal, and then leave with your man.. I'm sure he'll get the message, unless he's a block-head...

To recall a similar situation a long time ago, I was with a girl I was dating then, when this guy calls her, and from her tone, she was definitely not receptive to the guys call [I don't know if it was because I was there or not, because I querried her later on how the guy even got her number in the first instance.. ]

Anyways, she tells the guy that she was with her "husband"??.. and hands the phone over to me.. I then ask the guy who he was and what his business was with her.. the guy ends up stammering, claiming that he was calling from her office.. [which we had just left.. ].. I then offer to come back to the office, if it's an emergency.. the guy declines, saying not at all.. I then tell the guy that I'm familiar with everyone in that office, and I don't recollect ever having met him.. he then drops the phone on me.. [I guess, out of fright at being caught-out or something..  ]

Suffice it to say that he never called her again [to the best of my knowledge.. as you know you can never know.. girls can be funny..   ]

nah them they cause  am. oh.. at the first instance when the guy ask for your number i'm sure she did give it out to him.. she brought that to her self. and to the guy heheh the guy knows what he wants and beside ..most girls now got boyfriends so.. what is hel ooking for.. People don't really know what is called relationship anyway will advice u better send him parking. before your real guy get all the text  msgs  the other guy has been sending to you.