THE STARTING POINT: Sincere advice please;
1.Dated a girl,we are from different tribes,love her and have never put eye on another girl all through our dating time and roughly after a year we agreed that we should marry if it things work out.
2.One day she informed me that one of her relations who is an envangelist told her that she is pregnant and should not temper with the pregnancy,otheriwse it will cause her life,i told her to go for a test,she did and confirmed positive.
3.I told her no problem,though since i m not yet financially ok for marriage,she should keep it,when i am ok finacially we can do the marriage properly,she refused and said we should do it now to save her and the parents from shame,we rushed and do the traditional marriage which up till today,i have not been able to raise money and complete the remaining marriage rites even the bride price has not been paid because no money.I cannot even save money to cater for all family needs,let alone completing the marriage rites,and she is not working.A year after we also did a court marriage,but no church wedding for lack of money.Its been a finacial pressure.

THE BREAKING SYMPTOMS.
1.Truly,there is no much peace in the union--most atimes quarrel and misunderstandings here and there.
2.I have been trying to convince her that we should be attending the same church,she refused-hence we have been attending differenct churches.
3.She dont want to learn my native language so as to familiarise herself with my tribe especially the aged people at home,i have tried teaching her but she is not interested.Anytime she travels home,she will be looking like a dump because at home its mainly native language.
4.She hide her Hiv status for me which i later discovered after some time that she is positive.-Love making has been so scaring rather than fun,though still make it with her but it had made me to look for outside atimes which wasnt my intention,and my conscience hurts me because i believe in faithfulness.
5.Till date,i m working but no single penny as savings.Monthly expenses is unavoidably more than monthly salary,no room to save money and establish another thing as a source of income.
I am very confused,that i am considering pulling out from this thing called marriage,though she do beg me against taking such action,but the above mentioned are there,this is not how i want to build my family.I am not finding joy in the union.Please i need a sincere advice.

Hmmm, why would a lady use pregnancy to blackmail a guy? Somebody must be playing a fool here...

@OP: If I were you, I would divorce her on the grounds of deception. She hid her HIV status from you, and has wilfully infected you with it.

dude dem don jazz u
e be like say u don blind o

My brother, after reading your story i feel so sad. you shouldn't have allowed her to use pregnancy and tied you down, see the suffering you are going thro. what is your HIV status? if negative, use her "Hidden" HIV status and filled a divorce case against her.

The hiv status wed the main thing that got me concerned. If she had it before marriage and hid it from you, when you should leave the marriage.

All the other issues, shows lack of communication between the two of u. Sit down and have show down talks. I believe you should make compromises and understand each others point of view.

However as i mentioned earlier, hiv before marriage should be bye bye divorce.

If u had d funds, I'd hv advised a paternity test. Looks these days like girls with pregnancy who pressure guys into marriage hv skeletons to hide

na u sabi if u no wan divorce am.

1 advice-DO AN HIV TEST PLEASE!!!

Have u confirmed ur own status dont spread d virus biko.

@ Ms Pookie,
When first i discovered,i rushed and did it,it was negative.Last time i did again,it was negative.And the kind of fear this thing normally put somebody on when you want to go and repeat the test again can make somebody to faint and collapse.Its not easy atall.The heart beat alone.In fact i m not happy over the trend of things in this union.

Kasalx: @ Ms Pookie,
When first i discovered,i rushed and did it,it was negative.Last time i did again,it was negative.And the kind of fear this thing normally put somebody on when you want to go and repeat the test again can make somebody to faint and collapse.Its not easy atall.The heart beat alone.In fact i m not happy over the trend of things in this union.

u r old enuf to know wats gud for u

the ball is in your court bro...all d best!
P.S: I wish u long life

Oops! Did I forget hiv+ part? Phew!

u haven't done court and u haven't been pronounced man and wife b4 God. u hvnt even paid bride price yet I suppose? R u actually married?

Send her on an indefinite visit suspension to her mother's so u can sort urself out.

These i̶̲̥̅̊s the bitter pill of getting married when one i̶̲̥̅̊s not fully ready for it financially,morally,spiritually and phychologically.I wouldn't say Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u should seek for a divorce,but sit her down and explain the situation of thing with her maybe she cn go to her parents and stay for some time,while Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u pull urself together.

If I didn't read it well I would have said she casted a spell on u..
U are not financially stable and u let her trap u wiv pregnancy.. Why in the 1st place go that far ehn.. If she gives birth now Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ guys will be living from hand to mouth didn't u tell her all these before marriage.
Now u are looking for a way out.. Untop all she has Hiv.. How sure are u dah ur d babys daddy sef..
Jst tell her ur findings and don't make ur life a living hell

bknight: If u had d funds, I'd hv advised a paternity test. Looks these days like girls with pregnancy who pressure guys into marriage hv skeletons to hide

u re very right, go for a dna test, besides u dont need any court order or permission to divorce her. But u dull sha ooh

She hide her Hiv status for me which i later discovered after some time that she is positive.-Love making has been so scaring rather than fun,though still make it with her but it had made me to look for outside atimes which wasnt my intention,and my conscience hurts me because i believe in faithfulness.

Who would do such a thing?? That is so sad. Please, if you are going outside of your relationship, please use condoms so as not to pass such a thing on. I know you said that your tests were negative, even so, please practice safe sex! What about the baby? Has it been born yet? Will the baby be tested?

HIV? ?

You get mind sha!

Acidosis: HIV? ?

You get mind sha!

As in bros, d guy get SERIOUS MIND.

marriage wahala

A marriage based on deceit is no marriage.

hehe!
This story is a gangster something....
.
.
Op...listen good..
1.confirm your HIV status..
2.repeat the test after 3 months to remove all doubts..
3.do not have ssex with her except you are fully protected.
4.get a parternity test done on the baby..
5.her deceit concerning her HIV status is enough grounds for divorce..
6.chances that you'll ever be happy in this marriage are slim!
7.Find whatever way you can to get that woman out of your life and start afresh..
.
.
Brb!

bknight: If u had d funds, I'd hv advised a paternity test. Looks these days like girls with pregnancy who pressure guys into marriage hv skeletons to hide

Very important.

.

apocalypse:

I never see pesin wey get mind reach this guy , wtf! I wouldn't sleep with a positive lady even if dem make metal condom and Jesus himself comes down from heaven to assure me.

Have you done any HIV test yourself? So many Nigerians are ignorantly HIV positive, yet they discriminate against those who have been confirmed positive. This your post will further discourage gals from disclosing their status. Please, mind what you say on a public forum

I pity u, chei see wetin this daughters of EVE dey do. My brother abeg leave dat marriage cuz God has been giving grace of been negative, plz make use of dat grace b4 it expires.

Please do not conclude paying her bride price. Leave this female. She has already made your life unbearable with a couple of months. Do u want another 50+ years of manipulation, high blood pressure and deceit ?

Cheeeeeiiiii. Are you mad? You know full she's HIV+ and you can still conceive of sleeping with her? Are you mad? Do not ever touch her again. Dude you do not need to be told to exit that union or relationship or whatever it is. Put that person at arm's length man. HIV. WTF??!?

JEHOVAH!

And people think they have problems.This is crazy!! Everything is just crazy!

@ op,blame ur self for everything and not d girl. She never put gun to ur head for u to marry her by fire by force. We will never stop all dis my pastor says.......................

I am still shocked and I can't even begin to imagine how it feels like to be in ur shoes.
This girl is jobless and positive yet she went ahead to abort a pregnancy to hide the shame. That alone is a mountain!!

You have done a bit of traditional wedding,a court one and none to completion cz of finances? You sound so forsaken by ur people.

You are facing serious deadly issues already yet you have not even formalised this thing?? I shudder.

You may be negative, but dude you are sleeping with other girls outside. Do u know you may have infected them even with ur negative status?

You are worried about a small thing as native language yet 'MAJOR STUFF' is killing this 'union'?

How old are you guys? Were you pressurised? cz such pressures are what people keep discussing here on NL.

Why can't she find a job?

I could ask and keep on asking but I can't tell you what to do since a lot is at play here including the parents.

In short, you are paying her bride price in instalments by direct debit?

.

My guy ur wife, knew she ws pregnant, d issue of her brother an evangelist telling her she ws pregnant nd she shld not abort it ws a way to pin d pregnancy on you..
Secoundly,her hiv status would b the reason her ex abandoned her I guess dats y she dnt tell u nd dats y she pinned d pregnancy on u cos u r caring nd understanding..
Finally, I ll advice u to take a paternity test to prove to court that you are not the father, then file for divorce...sowie man...