Do you fart in bed? If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and i'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip th em out. Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back,. She pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good,
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said, "honey you were right." "all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you".
"what do you mean?" asked his wife. "well, you always told me that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened."
But by the grace of god, some vaseline and two fingers, i think i got most of them back in."

lol thendi dats really funny ure lucky u saved ur arse first

closes thread fromm TT

@poster, how 'bout calling that prophet to pray 4 u.
Wtf? Is this. This thread is full of ''BULLSH¡T", and it stinks.

I don pack all my laff give this joke

TT please try read am again

if this tread does not make you laugh then you are made of stone

I've sent TT bak to "easy learning" skul. D boy nor deh quick grab issues.

I bin talk am say im brain na Pentium half

Abeg who be this TT? I just run through most of his post and na so so the same thing im they post
at every tread. Una sure say no be one of the inmates for that prison wie them just hookup with internet access?

I hear say na rich folks children wie dey into drugs them dey keep there? Make TT just stay serve im time finish and make im no dey transfer im anger at us no be we send am go there

"Us"?
The only "us" i know has TT in it. I dont knw wer u ar 4rm or ur "us".

HE ACTUALLY MEANT HORSE

teadr ure smntin else

We a'int g0nna diss TT for a newbie.

Very funny. it really got me teared up with laughter.

good one

@Migines who is a newbie? i was long on this forum before you knew how to sum 1 + 1 and was always getting 3

your friend TT is peanut brain (Pentium 1/2 brain)  and that is a known and confirmed fact QED.

Make you no diss me o,  am red like hot iron and I sting like an African bee. and who really wants to be part of ur "US"?


If my post dey funny laugh and give accolade. If not say why and make me a better person. But I wont stand for all this rubbish dissing.

@Thirdi

No mind them ojare, na so dem dey diss pple wey dey post jokes wey no dey their clique. and the funny is that na their jokes dey stale pass. Just ignore and continue posting.

ayusman16:

@Thirdi

No mind them ojare, na so them dey diss people wey dey post jokes wey no dey their clique. and the funny is that na their jokes dey stale pass. Just ignore and continue posting.

Really?
Tell me something,

can't u read?

huh?

@thirdi
Lmao.
Talkn bout diss, wat were u sayn bout TT. That dont sound like a compliment to me.

Newbie dont necessarily mean ur membership date, u dont know TT, so u dont just spit bullshit.

U culd be hot like fire bud'im cold as ice but wit lots of nitrogen. U myte think ure on fire but blive me, u dont want me to start wit u.
If ur post waz meant to be funny then ma bad but datts as gud as it gets.
@ayusman
luks like u've tasted ma venom. Nigg£r grow up stop hating and get a fckn life. If not 4 sentiments dat has beclouded ur sense of judgement u'll admit dat i say a joke is cool if it actually is and dont give a damn bout whose it is(ituen can testify to dat)

bout d clique, THERE A'INT NOTHING U CAN DO ABOUT IT! If u cant beat them arrange 4 them to be beaten or u can bloody well SHUT DA FCK UP!

ayisman u are warned!!!
u have been noted for dis

This is the point where i say, GUD 4.Ya

tessybaby:

ayisman u are warned!!!
u have been noted for this

, or else

u wouldn't want to know
but don't say i didn't warn u

@Tessy

I think am curious to know

See small boys wey come yesterday

Them wan opress 'em papa and mama for this forum.

Clique or no Clique everybody dey answer im papa name (miggy and clem can attest).

So to Ayusman, thirdi

If u dont know how to defend urself, dont go round blaming a buNch of smarties n intellectuals. IF u wanna test ur prowress, pick on any member and start ur fight.

or better still, Ayusman and Thirdi can form their own CULT and recruit people like naijagurly etc

COS I HATE TO SEE STUPID TALK.

make una focus oh else. . . . . if u do anyhow, . . . . u go collect anyhow well well

tell them

I will, baby

good lecture iteun

just see the two guys bald head

ituen:

See small boys wey come yesterday

Them wan opress 'em papa and mama for this forum.

Clique or no Clique everybody dey answer im papa name (miggy and clem can attest).

So to Ayusman, thirdi

If u don't know how to defend yourself, don't go round blaming a buNch of smarties n intellectuals. IF u want to test your prowress, pick on any member and start your fight.

or better still, Ayusman and Thirdi can form their own CULT and recruit people like naijagurly etc

COS I HATE TO SEE STUPID TALK.

make una focus oh else. . . . . if u do anyhow, . . . . u go collect anyhow well well

@Tessy

So this is the warning u were trying give me _{am scared now}. What is nairaland turning to? Another dumb head internet user.

@Ituen

DO u know what ur name mean in my language?

New term ‘diarrhea of the fingers’ A euphemism which is defined as such: Someone who constantly types without thinking beforehand of what they are about to key forth. People suffering from this disorder are known for typing stupidest things and answering rhetorical questions with grandeur

@Ayusman

I know. It means "oppressor"

@ Thirdi

bla bla bla bla. _{diarrhea of the mouth}

Come first oh, Una 2 dey spoil my internet connection. Una money never finish for cyebrcafe? Dont worry, u go mop ground today

@ituean

you be mad man, me and you who go mop ground? your father

make you no stop this your yahoo yahoo sell puppy activity we go soon catch you.