Kobojunkie:

Your dad is not sharing your body with you. Your dad is in no way directly affected by decisions you make in life. Neither is your mom. Your wife is not your friend. Your PERSONAL is someone else's PERSONAL and that is your wife . . so find better excuses and reason bo!

My dad and mom are a couple and I am using them as examples.

If my dad text me complaining about my mom, If my mom text me to report my sister, My friend teling me about his new girlfriend,

Which of these does my spouse deserve to know about?

dayokanu:

My dad and mom are a couple and I am using them as examples.

If my dad text me complaining about my mom, If my mom text me to report my sister, My friend teling me about his new girlfriend,

Which of these does my spouse deserve to know about?

Why exactly can't your spouse know of these? I mean what exactly is worth hiding in the examples you gave? Are you sure you understand what marriage is about? If you trying info on your parents fight or is it . . . what do you think is worth hiding?

It depends my dear.

slimyem: Yes,i do!
Its disrespectful in every way!
My phone and everything on it is personal.
Some lines should not just be crossed!

..for these reasons shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and they shall be one.

The day you said 'I do' you give up that privacy; both spouse should be able to read each other's SMS and emails...

Kobojunkie:

Why exactly can't your spouse know of these? I mean what exactly is worth hiding in the examples you gave? Are you sure you understand what marriage is about? If you trying info on your parents fight or is it . . . what do you think is worth hiding?

Personally I wont want my spouse to know what goes on between my parents, Or between my siblings

Is that what marriage is about to you?

dayokanu:

Personally I wont want my spouse to know what goes on between my parents, Or between my siblings

Is that what marriage is about to you?

WOW . . so you will never discuss what is going on with your parents, even when it bothers you with someone you are going to spend 50 or more years you have left on this planet with? WOW!!!
You people get liver ooo . . .

coogar:

says who?
so if i need to discuss something private with your husband but i can't make the distance and i then send the info via sms, you are saying that info is no longer private because i couldn't come in person to deliver it to your husband? really?



i use an iPhone and that feature is optional! when i receive a message, i only get the notification, the message is hidden from prying eyes!

How?? I meant about the iPhone feature, this is my 3rd iPhone and I don't get notification like you do or is it a provider feature?

Kobojunkie:

WOW . . so you will never discuss what is going on with your parents, even when it bothers you with someone you are going to spend 50 or more years you have left on this planet with? WOW!!!
You people get liver ooo . . .

I dont see why I should discuss EVERYTHING about my parent with my spouse. No need for it in IMO.

My spouse doesnt have to know everything going on

dayokanu:

I dont see why I should discuss EVERYTHING about my parent with my spouse. No need for it in IMO.

My spouse doesnt have to know everything going on

I didn't say anything about discussing EVERYTHING . . . you are here suggesting you have to hide your text etc from your spouse, and I am trying to understand why you have to make such an effort to hide these things from someone you plan to spend 50 or more years with. This is a person who BELONGS to YOUR Family. She is a part of you, closer to you than your cousins, brothers, sisters, etc. Your shadow in human form, and you instead choose to HIDE information from her?

Also, We all know that it takes effort to hide things from people than to have it out in the open.

Kobojunkie:

I didn't say anything about discussing EVERYTHING . . . you are here suggesting you have to hide your text etc from your spouse, and I am trying to understand why you have to make such an effort to hide these things from someone you plan to spend 50 or more years with. This is a person who BELONGS to YOUR Family. She is a part of you, closer to you than your cousins, brothers, sisters, etc. Your shadow in human form, and you instead choose to HIDE information from her?

Also, We all know that it takes effort to hide things from people than to have it out in the open.

Just like the spousal bond is special so also is the bond between parent and child. If I receive texts from my parents, I would want to vet it and decide if I want to share with my spouse or not. But if she is allowed unrestricted access to my text messages, then that purpose is defeated.

Just like I wont share all what transpires between me and my spouse with my parent, I wont also do vice versa.

I would hide such text because my parents issue is not her business until I decide to involve her hopefully with their consent

dayokanu:

Just like the spousal bond is special so also is the bond between parent and child. If I receive texts from my parents, I would want to vet it and decide if I want to share with my spouse or not. But if she is allowed unrestricted access to my text messages, then that purpose is defeated.

Just like I wont share all what transpires between me and my spouse with my parent, I wont also do vice versa.

I would hide such text because my parents issue is not her business until I decide to involve her hopefully with their consent

Marry me. I am single

dayokanu:

Just like the spousal bond is special so also is the bond between parent and child. If I receive texts from my parents, I would want to vet it and decide if I want to share with my spouse or not. But if she is allowed unrestricted access to my text messages, then that purpose is defeated.

Just like I wont share all what transpires between me and my spouse with my parent, I wont also do vice versa.

I would hide such text because my parents issue is not her business until I decide to involve her hopefully with their consent

So you intend to allow access, but not unrestricted access? If that is what you want for your marriage, that is cool.

Sigh!! . . . . . From my experience, or should I say, I have lived long enough to know/learn that much of what we hide bubbles up the surface soon and hiding things takes too much effort that more times than not, it ends up not worth it. I personally have no secrets in my whole life . . . not one . . . and having an open-book relationship appeals a lot to me, because it means the communication part of maintaining a good relationship will be mostly taken care of that way. I don't talk much, especially when I am stressed, so if my spouse wants to get info on anything going down, my other-half can easily access my emails, text, phone etc. to get the necessary updates, or wait till when I am over the stress(which might be weeks) to get an update on what has been going on.

Kobojunkie:

So you intend to allow access, but not unrestricted access? If that is what you want for your marriage, that is cool.

Sigh!! . . . . . From my experience, or should I say, I have lived long enough to know/learn that much of what we hide bubbles up the surface soon and hiding things takes too much effort that more times than not, it ends up not worth it. I personally have no secrets in my whole life . . . not one . . . and having an open-book relationship appeals a lot to me, because it means the communication part of maintaining a good relationship will be mostly taken care of that way. I don't talk much, especially when I am stressed, so if my spouse wants to get info on anything going down, my other-half can easily access my emails, text, phone etc. to get the necessary updates, or wait till when I am over the stress(which might be weeks) to get an update on what has been going on.

This is about respecting the parent child bond and not sharing everything about your parents with your spouse

Just like my wife wont want me to tell my parents everything about her/Us.

No one knows when such text message from parents or work colleagues would come in so to preserve the confidentiality its better the partner doesnt open texts at all.

If my wife is sharing a gist with her sister on how wonderful her bf is in bed, I wont want to know such and I bet the sister nor my wife would want me to know, if I insist she might allow me but why would I want to?

People regardless of who they are deserve their privacy.

My siblings discussing their love and romantic lives with me might not be something they want me to share with my wife

jennykadry:

Marry me. I am single

You wey I dey see with Sagamite

afam4eva:
You're right. But you need to see the way some spouse will run for their phone the moment they see that their spouse is about checking something on it.

U need to see the way some spouse reacts when a text message or call comes in when the fone is close to their partners.my take....

If u don't have anything to hide what's in a text message?

It is. Doin that infers suspicion

coogar:

see how foolish you sound now --
so if this information that concerns ethics and profession was sent via SMS/email to your phone and your spouse sees it - have you not broken the ethic code of your profession?

It's not a big deal maam, my husband sees my paperwork (client stuff) and even helps me with some stuff like say on my iPad , he will never say that info to a third party or even joke with it, that's the trust he'll never break. That's even the peak of being disrespectful .

Abeg leave ethic code jare, you wan kill me with work when I have a extra hand (that has a knowledge of what i do and I trust) to help?

dayokanu:

My dad and mom are a couple and I am using them as examples.

If my dad text me complaining about my mom, If my mom text me to report my sister, My friend teling me about his new girlfriend,

Which of these does my spouse deserve to know about?

Wow... marriage marriage!! So there's rule in what and what not to be shared between couple that's supposed to be one?

In all the little experience I've had in my life and moving forward I've come to learn that ANY spouse that has any restriction on the use of his/her cell phone DEFINATELY has something they are hiding, PERIOD!

dayokanu:

Personally I wont want my spouse to know what goes on between my parents, Or between my siblings

Is that what marriage is about to you?

Are you even serious about this ^^? What are you embarrassed about?

I've read the most disgraceful email (forwarded btw us )
when it comes to inlaws and parents but it's our problem and we have to work it out together... I tire for this kind naija version marriage O!

People really need to rethink what they're doing, are they just roommates or couple? I'm shocked!!

hw does dis affect the price of garri @ mama nkechi's?? hw does dis affect the price of garri @ mama nkechi's??

chaircover: Funny enough Siena, I tend to find that the people who really have issues with this and think that their partners are hiding things are the ones who are not allowed to touch their partners phone. You will find that your wife wont bother looking at your SMS messages because she knows that she has access anyway.

We both have all each others Email & FB passwords so there is no need to go snooping. . . .as if snooping will stop a determined man or woman from cheating anyway LOL

Exactly!

The moment there are rule and boundaries, one gets inquisitive!

If someone has access to h/her spouses's phone, then reading a text message is NOT supposed to be an issue.

But where there are rules on how and when text messages should be read, then things tend to get a bit tense!

Siena: My wife answering my calls is something I've never had any issues with, and vice versa. Generally, if my phone ring and I'm not within reach, my wife will holler. Sometimes, I'd ask her to answer it, but that's all. She would NEVER read my text messages, and I'd never read hers.

It's no different from me steaming open her lettewrs, and reading them before passing it on to her. Or accessing her emails and reading those too.

Anyone who feels the need to read their partner's text messages has security issues, and is looking for issues where there are none. Besides, reading a text message could have you misinterpreting scenarios, to the detriment of your marriage.

I hope all who have responded so far are married? Because hypothesis is very different to real life.

God bless you sir, i don't know how people can equate answering a phone call to reading an sms.

Siena: My wife answering my calls is something I've never had any issues with, and vice versa. Generally, if my phone ring and I'm not within reach, my wife will holler. Sometimes, I'd ask her to answer it, but that's all. She would NEVER read my text messages, and I'd never read hers.

It's no different from me steaming open her lettewrs, and reading them before passing it on to her. Or accessing her emails and reading those too.

Anyone who feels the need to read their partner's text messages has security issues, and is looking for issues where there are none. Besides, reading a text message could have you misinterpreting scenarios, to the detriment of your marriage.

I hope all who have responded so far are married? Because hypothesis is very different to real life.

One question . . . Does you wife the password to your e-mail

[b][/b][q[color=#990000][/color]uote author=linearity]

..for these reasons shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and they shall be one.

The day you said 'I do' you give up that privacy; both spouse should be able to read each other's SMS and emails...[/quote][b][/b


Well said

Ujujoan:

Exactly!

The moment there are rule and boundaries, one gets inquisitive!

If someone has access to h/her spouses's phone, then reading a text message is NOT supposed to be an issue.

But where there are rules on how and when text messages should be read, then things tend to get a bit tense!

If i remember what this thread and the first question on it is all about, it is

Do you find it disrespectful if your partner reads a new sms on your phone before passing it on to you? Now that's different from them reading an sms you've read and left on your phone.

Whether you believe it or not, there are things meant to be kept to self and many examples have been cited. I have no issue with my partner checking my phone for whatever(well he doesn't without asking first) but he has no right to read my sms before me, unless i ask him to, simple.

Its nt desrespectful, if u cant cope with it, go n marry anoda man.... As i no hack ha phone ma sef..... Al dz lv and trust stufs are highly exagerated, dats y 1 man close to my place is been fooled by hs wife, hu cheats on him and he goes abt broadcasting hz luv nd trust 4 hz wife, if u tel him d truth, u turn hz enemy... Bleeping idiota

freecocoa: If i remember what this thread and the first question on it is all about, it is

Do you find it disrespectful if your partner reads a new sms on your phone before passing it on to you? Now that's different from them reading an sms you've read and left on your phone.

Whether you believe it or not, there are things meant to be kept to self and many examples have been cited. I have no issue with my partner checking my phone for whatever(well he doesn't without asking first) but he has no right to read my sms before me, unless i ask him to, simple.

So is it dis-respectful or just inappropriate - in your opinion

Ujujoan:

So is it dis-respectful or just inappropriate - in your opinion

It is BOTH..

freecocoa: It is BOTH..

Hmmmn . . . .

Well that's just your opinion!