Do you consider it dis-respectful if your wife/hubby/GF/BF/Fiancee/Fiance reads your new SMS before passing it on to you

Yes,i do!
Its disrespectful in every way!
My phone and everything on it is personal.
Some lines should not just be crossed!

it depends

I wouldn't say it's disrespectful but in relationship the partners know their 'boundaries' so to say. If he can read hers then she can read his. But I think it's more appropriate to pass the phone to the owner instead of opening the inbox and reading. It's not your message, it's his/hers.

Its just unnecessary, simple.

No size fits all though so whatever works for anyone is fine.

i don't know about being disrespectful but I do it. In short a lot, not out of disrespectbut my inquisitive nature and he doesn't get angy and even me I don't mind because he does it it although not every time.

r231: it depends

When trust is out , you will always have Jack Bauer phone stunts. That is why it depends.

I don't see anything wrong with reading a spouse's sms but that's after He/She must have read it first.

Ujujoan: Do you consider it dis-respectful if your wife/hubby/GF/BF/Fiancee/Fiance reads your new SMS before passing it on to you

my phones are passworded -
i don't bother with hers, she can't bother with mine!!

We have our own phones and if he ask me to read his text, I will but I do not need to read his texts because I am not interested.

Reading his texts is not going to stop him from cheating or having an affair if he chooses to. So what is the point?

But why should people care that their spouse is reading their text message except they're hiding something.

afam4eva: But why should people care that their spouse is reading their text message except they're hiding something.

And why are the spouses reading the text messages in the first place.....is the spouse insecure or jealous?

If someone on the phone wants to talk to you...then they will send a text message to you. The reason I don't read my husband texts unless he ask me is because they weren't talking to me...they were talking to him.

It is different when you are sharing a phone....but not everyone can afford two phones....so I digress.

Mrs..Chima:


And why are the spouses reading the text messages in the first place.....is the spouse insecure or jealous?

If someone on the phone wants to talk to you...then they will send a text message to you. The reason I don't read my husband texts unless he ask me is because they weren't talking to me...they were talking to him.

It is different when you are sharing a phone....but not everyone can afford two phones....so I digress.

You're right. But you need to see the way some spouse will run for their phone the moment they see that their spouse is about checking something on it.

I wouldn't like him to read my sms before me, though I don't really mind if he goes through my phone from time to time. What bothers me is more the lack of trust/controlling behavior that goes with this kind of things. I need my husband to trust me, if there is anything worrying him, he should talk to me instead of monitoring my phone/email/timetable...

Anyway, I don't have to worry much, we usually don't use each others phone without asking first.

blaise26.abj:


When trust is out , you will always have Jack Bauer phone stunts. That is why it depends.

100% true

A bad girl wount allow that like wise a bad man.the day my wife or gf wil start hiding her phone from me wil be the day my love for her wil start fading.b4 she go giv me anoda man virus

- if you are a person who has something to hide from your partner, then i understand why you would need to hide your phone or be secretive about whatever is in there.

- if you are a person who has absolutely NOTHING to hide then, who cares who reads the msg first, so long as you get the damn message!

now if you are a married person and STILL believe that there are stuff on your phone that is restricted to your spouse's eyes, then i suggest you re-evaluate your r/ship.

afam4eva: But why should people care that their spouse is reading their text message except they're hiding something.

I feel the same way .

MRbrownJAY: - if you are a person who has something to hide from your partner, then i understand why you would need to hide your phone or be secretive about whatever is in there.

- if you are a person who has absolutely NOTHING to hide then, who cares who reads the msg first, so long as you get the damn message!

now if you are a married person and STILL believe that there are stuff on your phone that is restricted to your spouse's eyes, then i suggest you re-evaluate your r/ship.

I agree 100% with this

(I hope this does not come back to bite me in the arse later on)

Mrs..Chima:


And why are the spouses reading the text messages in the first place.....is the spouse insecure or jealous?

If someone on the phone wants to talk to you...then they will send a text message to you. The reason I don't read my husband texts unless he ask me is because they weren't talking to me...they were talking to him.

It is different when you are sharing a phone....but not everyone can afford two phones....so I digress.

People are inquisitive . . . not necessarily insecure or jealous but inquisitive. You can sometimes pick up a book your wife has been reading to read for yourself or pick up her note book to get an idea of what she is studying. The same with the phone messages . . pick it up to get some idea of what has been going on with her or what's latest. I don't think people should consider it all insecure when all the other wants to do is just know what is happening or latest or get synced up with the other person. After all isn't that part of why you are partners? Your spouse does not come with mind reading abilities so he/she has to, from time to time, do own research to get caught up on your life and what is going on, rather than depend 100% no you to let them in whenever you have the time.

there are no boundaries in marriage n also is nt bad if both partners read dere msgs but i fink the men hates it.i dont bother mysef ova hubby's fone or inbox cos i prefer stayn out of trouble.

MRbrownJAY: - if you are a person who has something to hide from your partner, then i understand why you would need to hide your phone or be secretive about whatever is in there.

- if you are a person who has absolutely NOTHING to hide then, who cares who reads the msg first, so long as you get the damn message!

now if you are a married person and STILL believe that there are stuff on your phone that is restricted to your spouse's eyes, then i suggest you re-evaluate your r/ship.

Not everyone hides their phones....my husband doesn't hide his phone and neither do I. We still don't read each other texts....NOW WHAT?

No

afam4eva: But why should people care that their spouse is reading their text message except they're hiding something.

My sentiments EXACTLY!
I dont think there's any big deal inr eading ones messages EXCEPT you have something to hide!
and I sure as hell do NOT consider it dis-respectful!

Julesbloom: there are no boundaries in marriage n also is nt bad if both partners read dere msgs but i fink the men hates it.i dont bother mysef ova hubby's fone or inbox cos i prefer stayn out of trouble.

Long before cell phones and passworded gadgets came into the picture, did people [size=13pt]HIDE [/size]things from each other? If you are hiding something from the one you have chosen to spend your life with and 'bare your soul to', what is the meaning of the union again?

Kobojunkie:

People are inquisitive . . . not necessarily insecure or jealous but inquisitive. You can sometimes pick up a book your wife has been reading to read for yourself or pick up her note book to get an idea of what she is studying. The same with the phone messages . . pick it up to get some idea of what has been going on with her or what's latest. I don't think people should consider it all insecure when all the other wants to do is just know what is happening or latest or get synced up with the other person. After all isn't that part of why you are partners? Your spouse does not come with mind reading abilities so he/she has to, from time to time, do own research to get caught up on your life and what is going on, rather than depend 100% no you to let them in whenever you have the time.

Insecure people are inquisitive as well. If you trust your partner..why are you reading her texts? If she have her phone laying around...how is she hiding

If the phone is unlock and all you have to do is touch the screen...how is she hiding If she is sitting next to you having a conversation whether it is by text or voice...how is she hiding

Keep justifying insecurity....it won't go away.

Kobojunkie:

Long before cell phones and passworded gadgets came into the picture, did people [size=13pt]HIDE [/size]things from each other? If you are hiding something from the one you have chosen to spend your life with and 'bare your soul to', what is the meaning of the union again?

I'm glad to say I finally agree with you on something!

slimyem: Yes,i do!
Its disrespectful in every way!
My phone and everything on it is personal.
Some lines should not just be crossed!

are you for real. What's the secrecy for? Someone uve sworn to be of one flesh with. It means ur not sincere then.
As for me its not wrong. She can read anything.cos we trust each other, mutual things

slimyem: Yes,i do!
Its disrespectful in every way!
My phone and everything on it is personal.
Some lines should not just be crossed!

then you must not complain if he cheats on you because his relationship with other women is 'personal'

When most ladies like to do extra runs, encouraging attention from other fellows who send some kind funny texts, how una no go wan dey hide una phone. If you have nothing to hide, let him read. If he turns out to be compulsive, jealous freak, then dump his ass. shikena. A lot of ladies want to eat their cake and have it at the same thing. Before you start judging your partner, look first in a mirror. The problem originates from what you see there.

You should be smart and know that by hiding the phone always, it creates a breeding ground for mistrust in a relationship which is a very bad thing. How you comport yourself matters. At the same time, if you are dating a guy who does this always, talk to him calmly and tell him to respect your boundaries. A guy who really loves a lady will move heaven and earth to make her happy including getting rid of some rubbish character traits.

Mrs..Chima:


Insecure people are inquisitive as well. If you trust your partner..why are you reading her texts? If she have her phone laying around...how is she hiding

If the phone is unlock and all you have to do is touch the screen...how is she hiding If she is sitting next to you having a conversation whether it is by text or voice...how is she hiding

Keep justifying insecurity....it won't go away.

What has that even got to do with trust

I pick up any phone and automatically go through it without thinking, yes even the SMSs.

I read my mum's, sister's. friend's SMS and I doubt that makes me insecure!

If there's any text message I dont want people to see, I delete from my phone. I dont care if people go through my inbox, not at all!