Hello everyone, pls i need your candid advice on a delicate situation i find myself.

there is this girl i have been dating for about a year now, am 26 and she is 19 years old. She is Igbo while am Yoruba. i sincerely love her, and have always tried to be there for her at all times. but she has this kind of character that baffles me alot. She hardly talks, very silent. we met online and she school in the east while i work in Lagos. The first time she came, she was this cold to me, did not talk much at all, most times i talked, she doesn't respond or we meet a breakdown. i felt since it was the first time, maybe i should give her more time for us to know each other properly.

Last week, she came visiting again, this time it was terrible, she stayed about 5 days, i could count the number of times she talked to me, she rarely smiled, whenever i tried to create a discussion or make her talk, she finds a way of calling me bluff, leading to a breakdown. I challenged her to this and she said this was her character as she only talk when necessary. All she did through out her stay with me was watching TV, eating and sleeping. Whenever i tried touching her, she would shout to the heavens that i should leave her alone. she told me no sex until marriage.

Because of my frustrations, we had a quarrel before she left, which made me to text her yesterday that am no longer interested in the relationship, but she later replied that she was sorry that i should forgive her. My confusion now is that should i forgive her and continue to manage her coldness towards me or look for someone else.

I initially promised to marry her, but with the situation i find myself, i am seriously considering my future. She also did not even allow me to hold her hands let alone touch her

Please honest reply would be appreciated.

Both of you re babies

Excelboi: Both of you re babies

Seconded

BefoRe I say anything are u her fiRst boyfRiend? If yes then pls foRgive her, talk to her about this and since she has promised to change give her sometime ok. Whenever she does that pls don't flare up, be more loving and that will build heR confidence and guts. She is still a kid ok... And on the touching paRt? Since it makes heR uncomfortable foR now just let heR be, show her u are moRe inteRested in heR than heR body.
But if u aRe not her first boyfRiend you can still do as I said but be careful, most people like her are dangerous.

u already promise marriage to someone u barely know because u wan sample.smh.

RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!

It is her nature,even if she promises she will change,she wont,dont be fooled a crab will always sting(that's it nature).
Except you ready to continue that way.



Dont be fooled,she wont change(my 2cent)

Relationship may be rough @ start or middle but u must learn 2 understand her very well. If u guys are not compatible......use option E (walk away). If she changes, ur luck. Give her an opportunity 2 change. Buy relationship movies, she might learn from it.

Excelboi: Both of you re babies

If i should agree that the girl involve is actin babylike, then what made the OP a baby?

aleroo:
Seconded

Ya, its the norm here on nairaland, joining the bandwagon of the first person that replys a thread.

vivian chinaza: BefoRe I say anything are u her fiRst boyfRiend? If yes then pls foRgive her, talk to her about this and since she has promised to change give her sometime ok. Whenever she does that pls don't flare up, be more loving and that will build heR confidence and guts. She is still a kid ok... And on the touching paRt? Since it makes heR uncomfortable foR now just let heR be, show her u are moRe inteRested in heR than heR body.
But if u aRe not her first boyfRiend you can still do as I said but be careful, most people like her are dangerous.

OP, consider the above post.

tell her if she wants to change then she should start by opening her legs joor. see that rat one form say she be innocent girl. abeg she probably started fucking at 5. stupid girl

Flygerian.:

OP, consider the above post.

That above post does not solve anything. What the OP should do is call her and talk to her, the girl told him that she can't have sex until after marriage and is he ready to give her that? Is she ready to change that stance, will she be receptive to communications now? Those are things to consider before jumping back in cos if they don't figure them out, they will be right back here

thanks everyone for your honest response. Actually, its not like i want to sex her at all cost, all i really need is the communication.
the reason she says no sex initially was that she was a virgin, then later it was that its against her village culture and tradition for a lady to get pregnant before marriage, that her parents would disown her if such happens. But that should not be the reason that we can't still be intimate or be close to each other.

I get scared of her atimes, due to my job, i work till late in the night at home, most times i sleep off on the floor or the table, she never for once woke up to pull me or urge me to the bed, this is someone that wake up to do lots of urinating at nite. I get scared maybe she may abandon in future when i may need her most, another mind would tell me to allow her more time as she is only 19. I don't know if She is scared/shy of talking to me, its either she send me an SMS or cry when she is about to ask me for something.

Talking to her is difficult as we don't see each other always, and we does not appreciate nite calls.
Could it be that i should give her more time or call it a day?

Thanks everyone



AtiI find it str

The fact that she is 19 has actually turned me away from his tale. You should give her more time to think cos she is still young and she might not have made her decision yet.
Just talk to her as communication is the key in any relationship

Though she is 19 and still young kind of, She might be too young for marriage stuffs but definitely not too young to be in a relationship. The problem here is that she is far from you. I would have asked you how she relates with other people around the environment she is comfortable in, with this I would have been able to deduce if she's just an extremely introvert, shy or not used to you or the new environment, or if she just pretending on reacting to a past incident. You say she schools, what level is she in?
If you can answer these questions then I'll know the best advice to give you.
Mind you, the fact that you met her about a year ago does not mean you've been dating for over a year. If you've actually dated her for over a year and she's still acting that way, MY GUY, WAKA