disturbedman: @Obowunmi & Chaircover, I appreciate your contributions. Unfortunately there are no marriage counselors where we live! Or let me say they are Arabic speakers and we don't speak Arabic.
I get it that women like romantic men but what happens when you as a woman chose to marry unromantic man? I've been like this and find it very difficult to change now. I also believe that her contributing financially is the main reason she's being disrespectful as this was not the case when we were in Nigeria and I was able to shoulder all the financial responsibilities 100%. I have not changed from whom I was when I married my wife and we enjoyed our peace in the beginning. The problem actually started around 2007/2008 when we traveled out for better living and my wife needed to contribute money to support the family.
So it's true that when women share in the financial responsibilities with men, they take away some respect from us!

@Gboliwe, sorry but you didn't have to say anything.

Bro, though i am not married, i know wat a breech in comunication can cause. For the fact that she contributes for the family upkeep does not make you less of a man. Please do not let that male ego destroy your marriage. There are mae whos wifes carry more of the burden in the home and no one hears about it. Bros, thank God you have a woman who is ready to contribute and appreciate her. Do not see her as a tool in your house but rather appreciate her for her contribution. According to R kelly, when a woman is fed up, there is nothin u can do about it. she had clearly stated it in hed mail. consider your children. Remember, she oju mi de mi ko le da bi oju eni. Try to bridge the gap, and you would ba grateful for it. Do away with third parties. There are those who want your relationship to be like thiers. since you say you are away from home, make here the best friend and family you can ever have. Remember your children. Apologising and mending fences would not kill you.

Carius: Why is everyone taking d side of d erring wife?why should d OP be d one to roll on his back and beg d wife to love him?women are capricious,even when they're wrong,they would still want d man to take d blame.a wise woman builds her home with her mouth.i cringed when i read d part were she exchanged words wit u.this means she has started questioning ur authority as d head of d home.don't grovel for her.it would make things worse.i noticed she never mentioned her own faults or occassional failings in her email,meaning she doesn't want to resolve issues.women file for divorce 70% of d time.hence,if she wants to pull down her home,dia's very little u can do.

Guy, please grow up,i am sure u r not married and not ready to learn.

prince_onx:
Worst advise so far!
@poster: whatever you do from now forward do NOT sit with your wife in front of anyone to pin point who is wrong or right or who did what and what! Whats the point? even the devil, priest/pastor, parents, or close friends will not advise you to end your fruitfull marriage. Marriage na cover me I cover you oh! Nobody wey no get their own wahala oh! The reason why am not mad at you for coming to NL with this topic is because I/we don't know you face to face! Can you imagine your wife saying all that bad stuff about you in her letter in front of your neighbor, close friends, relatives, or even parents? We African are so stuck with that mentality of getting families involve whenever there is problem! What do you want them to tell you two? Oh after hearing from both of you, we think you should get a divorce! Is that it? Men, am telling you this from a fellow married guy point of view! Go home and talk to your wife period. Forget all that pride of who is wrong or who is right! What was said and done! What will you lose apologizing to your wife? What will you lose making and bring back peace to your house? Coming here to seek for advise means you want peace if not you don't need us to stop you if you really, truly, and honestly want to end your marriage. I won't be supprise if some guys especially single guys come here and tell you that they won't take that sh./t if they were you but that's fine! They are not you! Please bros don't even let this get to the next page! Too much advise sometimes is dangerous and I believe no two marriages out there is the same so basically our advises might not even work for you! But guess what? Peace works everywhere especially when applied on time! Do you know how powerful those three words "I am sorry" and "I love you" are? Use them bro! They don't hurt trust me! And finally, I don't need you to tell me the things you say to your wife especially when you're upset. Stop reminding her that you're the man! Stop telling her that her income or financial contribution to pay bills is making her challenge you! This make women feel like you're not happy about both their success and contribution at home! (Men! I wish my wife make quarter of a million). Anyway, my guy abeg don't let another day pass without working things out with your wife. From her letter she sound like you're next to the devil and want heaven and earth including your head but trust me this people are like kids! They're easy to deal with! Just remove the naija in you a little bit! Compliment her dressing at least every other day! That feels like everyday to women! (One fool at work might be doing that daily while u are not even saying it once a week) Compliment her cooking even when pepper wan kill you! Swallow the thing and drink water! Praise her for helping out with the bills! I always tease my wife that our next world she will be the man paying most of the bills while I just chip in! And guess what? She laugh at that cux she really want me to be the one getting pregnant and bleading monthly lol! Long story short, make peace first then start adjusting both in action and words! I know how hard it feels for a typical naija man to start doing or saying things he never use to! But guess what? You're not doing it for a stranger! She's your wife! It's easier to love and be at peace than hate and fight!

Love this.

Hmmmmm, I think the both of you need a professional counsel. To me nobody is perfect,but you can be perfect to her by trying to know her. I believe what's best to be done here is that both of you should also have a time to your selves,trash out the issues one by one. I pray that God would grant you both the wisdom and grace to settle the matters.

@disturbedman:
1:-
I agree with your wife on the fact that you're "insensitive", your response to her mail proves it. Your wife is also rude, which is obvious from the name-calling in her mail.
You have to bear one thing in mind always-being the HUSBAND means you have to be the MOST TOLERANT IN MARRAIAGE. Take a leaf from the HOLY PROPHET, he was VERY TOLERANT of his wives MISCONDUCTS in an age when women had NO RIGHTS. In matrimony, ALWAYS communicate with your partner at all times NO MATTER WHAT

@disturbedman:
2 :
I'm not taking your side but i understand you will feel she's being so because you can't solely cater for your family except with her support. It happened to an Uncle of mine in the UK until the couple returned to Nigeria.
You see when women start acting wierd, hostile and uncooperative, it's because they feel you are not listening to their cries for help. This is bound to happen if you don't communicate with each other.
I will not tell you it's going to be EASY.
NO, IT EASYN'T

Its clear your wife still loves you. Chances for reconciliation are quite high. Best of luck

Get another wife. You're a muslim. It's a lot easier for you compared to Christians these days so stop complaining and act. She's most likely seen someone else she wants to be with and is trying to get u to divorce her so she can proceed with that arrangement. It's pretty obvious from the mail that she's not interested in you changing your ways. She just wants out.

it's a lot of work but if you still love her I will be happy to talk to you ALONE through working this out. You will have to talk to your wife yourself.
I'll call you, if you please, Just mail ----@yahoo.com, title the mail: NAIRALAND COUPLE CALLED, your number in the body of the mail. I would leave my number here but based on my experience with those Yahoo boys... i've learnt they can be very persistent bastards.

PS:
I may not call immediately, but i'll talk to you as soon as i get off w

Hey man, i can strongly say, you have been cheating on your wife and you
are looking for every slightest opportunity to stay away from her just to have fun out their
and when you come back you find her irritating hoping she can just fly away and give you all the time to
do what you have been doing (CHEATING).

Yes, she might be over exaggerating but must of the things she said are true
and that you know very well.
Learn to love and respect her, learn to tolerate her and listen to her, do not be
over ego-centered or pompous like she said. Stop feeling like you are God sent to her.

Learn to accept fault, pamper her and learn to apologize to her, she doesn't need much from you
believe me. She just want to be loved and respected, she want to be seen as someone special to you,
please let her know she is special. Be a real man to love and cherish what God have given to you.

I don't care about your excuses, I am a man and i know what a man can do when he is kinda tired of the
old expired woman in the house, remember she wasn't like that when you guys meet. Just treat her like a babe, cos' women most
times could be annoying that's for sure but as a real man you got to learn to be tolerance and understanding
and not always trying to be seen as the boss. RESPECT IS RECIPROCAL.

Oga, times like this do happens but it will soon pass away if you can introduce some changes but everything depends on you as the head.

It is a fact that once a woman is paying some bills you might lose some respect but will turn worse if she is paying more. Only few women ni oki se igberaga than is why there are plenty single CARREER women out there

Wow!

Such great unhappiness . . . wonder hwo badly op must have treated her to get her to be THAT bitter!

Men d write up 2 long i no fit read al lets more of 2 coment

May Allah ease our affairs.

MY BROTHER, WE MEN NEED ALOT OF WORK TO DO ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE MARRIED. I HAVE SIMILAR EXPERIENCE, JUST MOVE CLOSER TO YOUR WIFE HOLD HER CLOSE AND TELL HER YOU ARE SORRY. LET THE SORRY SHOWS IN YOU. MIND YOU, THIS DOES NOT MAKES YOU A LITTLE MAN BUT RATHER A MAN WHO IS WILLING TO CHANGE AND READY TO MAKE CHANGE, YOU WILL BE A STRONGER MAN AFTER THIS.
YOUR WIFE HAS POURED OUT HER MIND, DONT COMPLAIN OR MAKE EXCUSES, JUST TAKE CONTROL AND CHANGE THE SITUATION.
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST[size=20pt][/size]

@poster, If you have been good to your wife, there is no way she can get this bitter.

Every woman needs and appreciates love. You obviously have not shown her love.

Mend your ways or you will be worse off for it.

This man will not change, I know his type. Imagine the kind of response he gave to an obviously distressed woman. The fact that she resorted to writing a mail indicates that she has been living in fear and resentment.

You want us to call your wife disrespectful, yet, you sound so arrogant that you could not even feel the pains from her heart.

Dont waste our time here, set her free and she will do better than end up with your likes ,or you jump down from your high horse and enjoy the blissful potentials of your home.

Hey Man, Bottom line is that this is the classical case of a man who could not marry his wife. Lived with one all my life so I know. How do people who want to share their lives together go about conversing with insults? Shakes head.

Please be a man, it's not by calling names and throwing insults or claiming rights of respect. You have to earn these things by being responsible, and being responsible is not all about money, it also means being cool and calm and unassuming when women get into the verbally charged mode. When she is done talking, bring her close, kiss her and tell her it's alright, that you got it even if you don't. Cuddle her to sleep like a child, and do what you know is best, you'll see she will never be able to live without you even if you never did what she wanted. Cause you are in charge and you make her life, and that of her children work out, even if you make mistakes sometimes. Remember, people love you for something, when you stop they stop, love is not unconditional. that's fiction.

only u knows the real issues of ur marriage.we r only hearing what u tell us.

there ws a beginning and u know it.

u know how 2 rectify it.take d steps

We men should understand the concept: women. A woman is a 'wombed' man. A womb is designed to receive, incubate, grow, multiply and nurture to an advanved stage whatever is put into it. Just the way u sow a grain of corn in the the ground and receive multiple of what u sowed back, a woman will return to u a multiple of what u sow into her. Give her sperm and we get, not a sperm back but a child. Give her a house and she gives ua home. Give her love and care and u get multiple of it back. Give her insults, u get multiple of those insults back, though she might say it with her mouth but u will get it back, etc. That is how women are designed by God and they cant help it.

I try as much as possible to sow only good things in my wife cos I know sooner or later I will get it back in several folds. If u tell ur wife that 'o go' (ah ah, that is such a terrible thing to say to d flesh of ur flesh) she will give it back to u even if she does not say it with her mouth. Of course wives should be submissive but dont be her 'boss', be her 'leader' and lead by example.

Allow ur wife to have her say at least, that does not mean u must do what she says but at least hear her out and she possibly might make some sense. Dont force to do things cos after a while she would no longer be able to do it and in her own way fight back. Show her love and u will get it back in full measure.

disturbedman: @Obowunmi & Chaircover, I appreciate your contributions. Unfortunately there are no marriage counselors where we live! Or let me say they are Arabic speakers and we don't speak Arabic.
I get it that women like romantic men but what happens when you as a woman chose to marry unromantic man? I've been like this and find it very difficult to change now. I also believe that her contributing financially is the main reason she's being disrespectful as this was not the case when we were in Nigeria and I was able to shoulder all the financial responsibilities 100%. I have not changed from whom I was when I married my wife and we enjoyed our peace in the beginning. The problem actually started around 2007/2008 when we traveled out for better living and my wife needed to contribute money to support the family.
So it's true that when women share in the financial responsibilities with men, they take away some respect from us!

@Gboliwe, sorry but you didn't have to say anything.

I think you need to change. Whether your wife is contributing towards the family upkeep or not, you should not be bossing her around.
Your attitude won't help the situation. You need to change towards your wife and show her love. The condescending, aggressive Naija attitude will not help you.
Call her, apologize to her, and promise you will change. Start to show love and concern. Let go of all your inhibitions. Else you can wave the marriage goodbye.

Being romantic is not as hard as it sounds. Just be able to enjoy quality time with her, talk with her and laugh, showing compassion and understanding all the time. Rather than the typical gruff 'where is my food' grunt plus complaining about everything she does, which is the way our fathers were. Women have a voice now, and you just can't be riding them like some beast of burden, cook, and sperm toilet rolled into one. That one is not tenable in this 21st century.

obowunmi: My advice:

1. I think you both need professional marital counseling. The subtle anger stems from an inability to properly communicate. Not sure how you will get this.

2. I think you both need to heal from childhood wounds. Sit down with her to have a heart to heart conversation about your childhood history, vulnerability, and pls don't judge each other.

3. You both have communication issues. Although you insult, abuse, and fight - you both have a serious inability to properly communicate. I suggest that you continue to write letters to each other, if that is the best method of communication. Your wife has a lot more to say and so do you. Do not merely respond by saying "as your lordship pleases." Tell her why you chose to marry her, make her the mother of your children, and remind her why you love her.

4. Only you both can chose to make this work. So its your choice. The inability to know how to properly communicate breeds, anger, hatred, and so much more.

This is not a problem that only affects you and your wife, but I believe this is a Nigerian issue, where by ignoring a problem means you are "an adult" or rather instead of speaking you intimidate, yell, scream, or commit acts of violence. Many Nigerians are raised up this way. Its norm.

SECONDED!!

i think Angelahoney the same user that started "My Husband Is Threatening To Divorce Me For Petty Reasons" is one and the same user as disturbedman, Advise Him: He Got This Mail From His Wife

Both profiles were started solely for discussion purposes and to test writting skills; plus their stories were well explained in perfect English. Something you normally won't get from a troubled soul.

In the case of "Advise Him: He Got This Mail From His Wife' note that the man and wife had the same descriptive thoughts:

Man: However, it has been a life of cat and mouse for the better part of the last 5 to 6 years.

Wife: Well, I don't want you to change your mind because I am also very sick and tired of this 'cat and mouse' relationship

Even Angelahoney admitted to the plot here:

Angelahoney: Thank you all for your response. Didn't know it would reach front page. I am an aspiring fiction writer and this is just a figment of my imagination.
Some guys are even following me already. They're in love with this fictitious Angela.
Your contributions were matured especially Billyonaire. In fact the person typing is a man.
Thank you. And thank you Angelahoney.

Some types of stories that hit front page amaze me. Cheers.

Una well done oh.

...Signing out

e

disturbedman: @Obowunmi & Chaircover, I appreciate your contributions. Unfortunately there are no marriage counselors where we live! Or let me say they are Arabic speakers and we don't speak Arabic.
I get it that women like romantic men but what happens when you as a woman chose to marry unromantic man? I've been like this and find it very difficult to change now. I also believe that her contributing financially is the main reason she's being disrespectful as this was not the case when we were in Nigeria and I was able to shoulder all the financial responsibilities 100%. I have not changed from whom I was when I married my wife and we enjoyed our peace in the beginning. The problem actually started around 2007/2008 when we traveled out for better living and my wife needed to contribute money to support the family.
So it's true that when women share in the financial responsibilities with men, they take away some respect from us!

@Gboliwe, sorry but you didn't have to say anything.

Oga, I feel like slapping you seriously. Your wife just opened and poured her heart out to you in that mail and you're still wondering what is wrong with her? Look, I am a very firm and stern person too but you have to understand that your wife needs loving and I am not talking about sexual acts here. Can't you see that the woman loved and still wants to love you but your behaviour is pushing her away? Yes, I know she has exaggerated in her mail but the basics in that mail look VERY sound to me here.

I am not asking you to become a chameleon and be what you're not but you need to calm down and make-up your mind to appreciate the little things; compliment her, let her be free to express herself, never insult her, treat your children well. Stop sulking about her contributing to the family's upkeep. Create fun time with her, share the things, activities, places she loves with her. Gosh! Just a simple cuddle can do so much- don't you get it? Your wife is your freaking best friend, confidante, partner, manager whatever you can think-of. She is not your rival!

I should stop now, but your inability to read in-between the lines really ticks me off.

Listen poster, I appreciate you want to get this issue with your wife resolved. I want to let you know that here on earth, there are no two perfect people on the face of this planet. From your wife's point of view, it seems that you are to forceful and egocentric through that attitude { I am the head of this house and you MUST always take my own words and advise and hers should not be taken into consideration.
Learn to give your wife room to express herself and always give her reasons for the negative feelings you have as to not have her views considered. Your wife is not your made. How dear you call her silly? Choose your words and do not insult her in the public. You have kids and still you cannot manage your family. No married man will beat his chest and say his marriage is the best on earth. Be a manager of crises and always see your wife as you best friend. Talk this over with her. Our Nigerian women can tolerate more than the western women.

disturbedman: Well, I have read every one of the comments here. Let me say thank you to those who have put in constructive contributions. Worth special mentioning is Chaircover and e_prynce. I appreciate all of you guys efforts.
As someone said here, there will be many advice but it's up to me to choose what to do. Yes, and I've chosen the right ones. I engaged my wife with an open mind to talk things over. It was difficult at first especially with her exaggerated claims. It's difficult to just look on and listen to those "very trivial" issues from her so there were arguments again in the process. However, I sincerely apologized to her for whatever reasons and she also finally regretted her action and apologized as well. At least I now know that those "trivial" issues are very dear to her! Na wa.
@ those who think and conclude that I am a bad man and evil. I don't have any comment for you other than to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG. I now that I am caring, loving and understanding (at least I should be able to assess myself to some degree).I spend time with my family, play all sorts of games with my kids, I don't have any programs not known to my wife and I don't "close late from work because of tight schedule", no social vices as well. So what is fundamentally wrong with me? It's really unfortunate that when you marry a verry loving wife you have to contend with her high expectations of you, just as explained by e_prynce.
To those who think that I am a CHEAT, I don't really know what to tell you guys. How you arrived at that conclusion from that mail baffles me. FYI, my wife is also not seeing another man as suggested by some here. I am 100% sure of these two statements.
Yes, I still believe that finance plays some part in our squabbling but it was out of necessity we got here. I am still the bread winner of my family in every sense of the word and the question of being jealous of my wife is completely out of it. We got where we are on her insistence on doing certain things with significant financial commitment after she has offered to support out of her own will.
To the unmarried ones who think I am not patient enough, I'll say wait till you marry.MArriage is not always what you thought it to be before going in. I am now married for 11.5 years. If you add the 6 years of courtship you'll know that I've been there long enough. I can qualify as a "marriage counselor" in my own right as I have helped settle a few marital issues. Though I am now ready to play the fool more than ever in order to make my marriage work and have peace in my home.
Finally, I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND MY WIFE; AND THEY LOVE ME BACK I BELIEVE. JUST THAT I THOUGHT THE MAIL WAS OVER THE LINE.
Thanks once again to those valuable contributors. You know yourselves.

@ Moderators, please kindly close this thread by 1.00 PM. Thanks for granting my wish.

Ok, some of my points in my first post have now been addressed but oga that mail from your wife wasn't over any line. She has a right to let you know she wasn't happy and was miserable. From all indications, I can see you have a good heart, you're just not romantic. In fact, I may well end-up like you if I don't marry a woman I love (I am not saying you don't love your wife O}. However, you need to lighten-up towards your wife and kids.

I am not married but my family see the fun side of me that other people may never see- the same should apply to your wife and kids too.

disturbedman: Well, I have read every one of the comments here. Let me say thank you to those who have put in constructive contributions. Worth special mentioning is Chaircover and e_prynce. I appreciate all of you guys efforts.
As someone said here, there will be many advice but it's up to me to choose what to do. Yes, and I've chosen the right ones. I engaged my wife with an open mind to talk things over. It was difficult at first especially with her exaggerated claims. It's difficult to just look on and listen to those "very trivial" issues from her so there were arguments again in the process. However, I sincerely apologized to her for whatever reasons and she also finally regretted her action and apologized as well. At least I now know that those "trivial" issues are very dear to her! Na wa.
@ those who think and conclude that I am a bad man and evil. I don't have any comment for you other than to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG. I now that I am caring, loving and understanding (at least I should be able to assess myself to some degree).I spend time with my family, play all sorts of games with my kids, I don't have any programs not known to my wife and I don't "close late from work because of tight schedule", no social vices as well. So what is fundamentally wrong with me? It's really unfortunate that when you marry a verry loving wife you have to contend with her high expectations of you, just as explained by e_prynce.
To those who think that I am a CHEAT, I don't really know what to tell you guys. How you arrived at that conclusion from that mail baffles me. FYI, my wife is also not seeing another man as suggested by some here. I am 100% sure of these two statements.
Yes, I still believe that finance plays some part in our squabbling but it was out of necessity we got here. I am still the bread winner of my family in every sense of the word and the question of being jealous of my wife is completely out of it. We got where we are on her insistence on doing certain things with significant financial commitment after she has offered to support out of her own will.
To the unmarried ones who think I am not patient enough, I'll say wait till you marry.MArriage is not always what you thought it to be before going in. I am now married for 11.5 years. If you add the 6 years of courtship you'll know that I've been there long enough. I can qualify as a "marriage counselor" in my own right as I have helped settle a few marital issues. Though I am now ready to play the fool more than ever in order to make my marriage work and have peace in my home.
Finally, I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND MY WIFE; AND THEY LOVE ME BACK I BELIEVE. JUST THAT I THOUGHT THE MAIL WAS OVER THE LINE.
Thanks once again to those valuable contributors. You know yourselves.

@ Moderators, please kindly close this thread by 1.00 PM. Thanks for granting my wish.

Exaggerated claims? trivial issues? Your wife pours her heart to you and this is how you think of her feelings and opinions. I am afraid for your marriage. You obviously don't think much of anything she has told you and you are not as "nice" as you think. She just told you the truth about you and you cannot address it. Goodluck

pro01:

Lol. She for kuku marry Prophet T.B Joshua or whoever the Bleep else is a clairvoyant that can read her fickle mind. And by the way, LOL to "be swift in attending to those needs". What can I say? Smh for this self-appointed Queen without a tiara.

Anyways, @ Topic
I read the the post dispassionately. . .and unfortunately, the one thing I am sure of is that that woman is having a passionate affair currently. . .and it's clear she's enjoying it, and that's why she comes home to you feeling discontented with her reality (i.e. you). Only a woman whose heart/mind is in another man's loins can write such a noxious, conceited, impudent letter to her husband. And to be very honest, do NOT underestimate the role money (or the lack thereof) is playing here: If you read between the lines of her poisonous letter, you would see abundant evidence of this.

In any case, it is your decision to make; your cross to carry (or cast aside). The choice is entirely yours.

what a load of TOSH!!!!

A woman who is your wife took out productive time to write you this long hurtful note? I bet that means you really need to check urself and start loving both her and your kids all over again like its brand new. To the best of my knowledge whenever we (men) find the best in a woman we tend to not appreciate them. Did yu read d part wher she said something abt your kids nOt liking you? Love your wife man! Real men do

@poster, I like to inform you that you have a bright hope in mending your marital relationship. only that you need some efforts.You need to communicate well.There is a time-tested material you can study to teach yourself how to communicate well with your spouse and restore your relationship.It is a bible-based book entitled "The Secret of Family Happiness". Many were on the point of divorce when they came across this book and their relationship became better.You can get it free of charge from any Jehovah's Witness in your area. But i upload a few chapters that may help you.you can contact me on formailsalone2@gmail.com

disturbedman:


Let me add that there is no question about my love for her. But she has become insulting and very disrespectful even at the slightest opportunity. For example, there was an argument sometimes ago and I said to my wife "O go fun nkan ti o so yen (you are stupid to have said that)" to which she replied "iwo naa go. O go o fi enu ho ara (you are more than stupid as well)"

Of course her mail is full of exaggerations but disputing the contents is not my motive here. I very well know that she does not really want a divorce. But how do you forgive and forget this type of insults from your wife whom you are already quarreling with over similar issues?

Let me add that there is no question about my love for her...............dude, there is a question. she is not convinced and that is the crux of the matter. i know men who thought as much and came back home to an empty house one day.

sometimes ago and I said to my wife "O go fun nkan ti o so yen (you are stupid to have said that)............I don't want to sound judgemental as i have my own issues, but how do you even say such to your wife? I am un interested i her response afterwards but you should never use such words to the mother of your children.

Of course her mail is full of exaggerations but disputing the contents is not my motive here............and it should never be your motive. the fact that she is upset enough to write this to you and its contents are not completely lies means that their are genuine issues worth addressing.

But how do you forgive and forget this type of insults from your wife whom you are already quarrelling with over similar issues?..........you forgive and forget such insults by choosing to forgive and forget. forgiving and forgetting does not mean the issues should not be addressed. it means that you accept defeat and start on a clean slate by addressing her exaggerated complaints.
Dude, i have not gone through all the comments here but my little advice is this; take her complaints serious. be the bigger man and forgive/forget. take your wife out maybe for a day (if logistically possible), address each and every complaint of hers made in this mail,make vocalised commitments to how you intend to address each of them and mean them.
Notice i did not ask you to make your own complaints during that date. let it just be about her.
From that mail i am convinced that you are not married to a mad woman. She will also make her own adjustments for you.
I wish you well and may your marriage prevail.
Now let me go and address my own issues. We all have them in our relationships.