please house,i have been into a relationship for five year now,we started when we where in the university, we finished our nysc last  two years, now due to no good job the relationship needs Gods help to continue as the girl is afriad to stay.i dont know what to do cos i love this girl very much.please want do i do??

This is not a romance problem. It's a career problem. Forget about the girl for now.

phillip001:

please house,i have been into a relationship for five year now,we started when we where in the university, we finished our nysc last  two years, now due to no good job the relationship needs Gods help to continue as the girl is afriad to stay.i don't know what to do because i love this girl very much.please want do i do??

You should know what to do.  I will give you a hint.  Now take off your shoes, and put on her's then tell us what you would have done if you were wearing her shoes. You have all the time in the world to pick and choose a wife.  A lady in Nigeria after 2 years of youth service can only look forward to marriage next--as your culture dictates.

Are you not a Nigerian man?  You of all people should understand what it means to be the "head of the household".

Na for mouth?  When she introduces you to her parents for marriage and you cannot pay for one-tenth of the wedding, whom do you expect to foot the bill?

My patience with you can only span 6 months and I am out of your life! Love or no love!  Don't have patience for jobless men!

You know what you can do with your love after 6 months!  SHOVE IT!!!

How jobless people carry on romance is what continues to plague my memory till today.  If the lady gets pregnant, the next thing that will come out of the jobless man's mouth is "abortion" which he does not have the money to even pay for. 

My friend, you need to remain single till you are able to responsibly take care of a family because marriage is next! She may love you too, but business is business!  If you meet a rich lady who can sponsor you for a good job prospect, you might dump her too with all your love for her.  So, this is survival--deal with it!

This should not call for any sentiments or hard feelings!  Love really has nothing to do with this equation!

did she love you too? if she truely love you then i don't see any reason that she want to stay away  from you becouse you are  jobless.  just pray to god and i believed that one day you will be a multi millionniar and she will come and look for you. she is not a lover if she is loving you becouse of your money instead of what we called agape love(true love)

Yeah!  I  hear some people eat "agape"!   This same "agape" I understand has been known to eat people alive too with empty pockets!

Agape also buys diapers and cheerios?  And pays for health care abi?

Agape ko!  Agape ni!


Show me a house, car, schools for my kids, food on my table, gas in my car, diapers on my kids' behinds and I will definitely show you "agape" to the highest power!


Shiooooooooooooooooooo!

Thank God some of us can afford both the "agape" and all the above!

Agape with a jobless man is equivalent to prostitution without rewards!---Ashewo Five Alive!!!!

Jobless men should not have sex period! Or fall in love for that matter!

almondjoy:

Yeah! I hear some people eat "agape"! This same "agape" I understand have been known to eat people alive too with empty pockets!

Agape also buys diapers and cheerios? And pays for health care abi?

Agape ko! Agape ni!


Show me a house, car, schools for my kids, food on my table, gas in my car, diapers on my kids' behinds and I will definitely show you "agape" to the highest power!


Shiooooooooooooooooooo!

Thank God some of us can afford both the "agape" and all the above!

Agape with a jobless man is equivalent to prostitution without rewards!---Ashewo Five Alive!!!!

Jobless men should not have sex period! Or fall in love for that matter!

Lol!
This is hot and very true!
Sometimes, we make mistakes because of sentimentality.
I so agree with Almondjoy on this one.

blackmann:

almondjoy u harsh o

Sorry dearie!  That's me!


Welcome to the school of hard knocks!  I will tell my sons the same thing!   How can any guy be having romantic encounters without a job?  And some useless women will gratefully leave their thighs parted ever so widely for easy access? It just shows that people have no proper upbringing and have no sense of prioritization. Instead of this poster to go and get a job, he is using all his energy to set himself for a heartbreak. A condition that will most definitely render him jobless for many more years to come. As a result of "depression"!

Hogwash!

well thank you all for the hints,but i never said im jobless,i have i job it just that the pay is small,i understand that most girls here dont even know what to say, or how to give advice.well once more time, thank you all.

@topic,

try harder and get a better job!

phillip001:

well thank you all for the hints,but i never said im jobless,i have i job it just that the pay is small,i understand that most girls here don't even know what to say, or how to give advice.well once more time, thank you all.

I don't think that improves your circumstances here. So are you saying your girlfriend is impatient and unreasonable? Since she does not want to accomodate your "small pay" or "agape pay"? Most of us do not have good jobs but can take care of a family conveniently.

My idea of a good job if you want to go that route is to win the lottery and retire right now.

my guy,
i wouldnt want to quote anyone here to make my point, like i always told my girlfriend when life was pretty difficult for me : if you can't wait, there is an emergency door: date another guy.Some ladies talk like a guy should manufacture a good job, its good to be reasonable sometimes, look at the situation, atleast its not like the guy sleeps in the house waiting on God to perform a miracle, he goes out, submits his CV's, makes contacts, and then a lady gives you a time table? IF SHE IS TOO SCARED TO WAIT MY MAN FACE BUSINESS AND ALLOW LOVE TO GO, when you make your money so much  love will come knocking at your door , infact at your bed side, then you will have a choice to make, the only problem i see in situations like that for someone like myself, i will cruise as much babes as i can( mind you i will use condom(s)), before i decide on what to do, that is one major reason why most guys that are meant to be married(financially stable) are still confused, is she loving me because of my money? too many questions really, GUY IF SHE CANT WAIT, JUMP AM PASS.  don't kill yourself, the moment a lady's heart leaves you, you are on your own.

@Poster
next time u see Almondjoy online, dont post. Ok?

@Almondjoy
haba, wetin?

@Poster

Get your broke @ss to work ! NOW !!

Sweet T:

@Poster

Get your broke @ss to work ! NOW !!

LMAO. . . .

tkb417:

@Poster
next time u see Almondjoy online, don't post. Ok?

@Almondjoy
haba, wetin?

Oh yeah?

The truth is very bitter.  I really pity women these days to see what kind of men they have to settle for. 

Chei!

zheroes:

my guy,
i wouldnt want to quote anyone here to make my point, like i always told my girlfriend when life was pretty difficult for me : if you can't wait, there is an emergency door: date another guy.Some ladies talk like a guy should manufacture a good job, its good to be reasonable sometimes, look at the situation, atleast its not like the guy sleeps in the house waiting on God to perform a miracle, he goes out, submits his CV's, makes contacts, and then a lady gives you a time table?

IF SHE IS TOO SCARED TO WAIT MY MAN FACE BUSINESS AND ALLOW LOVE TO GO, when you make your money so much  love will come knocking at your door , infact at your bed side, then you will have a choice to make, the only problem i see in situations like that for someone like myself, i will cruise as much babes as i can( mind you i will use condom(s)), before i decide on what to do, that is one major reason why most guys that are meant to be married(financially stable) are still confused, is she loving me because of my money? too many questions really, GUY IF SHE CANT WAIT, JUMP AM PASS.  don't kill yourself, the moment a lady's heart leaves you, you are on your own.

That is why you are still on nairaland--crawling around!

Sweet T:

@Poster

Get your broke @ss to work ! NOW !!

Now, that's more like it! @poster, you dey hear so? Can you please get your girlfriend out here on Nairaland so I can advice her on how to deal with you!

Oh yeah?

The truth is very bitter.  I really pity women these days to see what kind of men they have to settle for. 

Chei!

Same as we pity guys who cannot use der heads while dealing with women. . .
Its a shame a full blown man will come online and be 'yarning' dusts about some silly broke ass women who has got no place to hide her head.


@Poster
All these depend on u. . .Men of Steel don't wait for jobs no more. Seun Osewa didnt wait for someone to get him a job likewise a whole loads of correct men around.
Get things done for yourself and don't let some nobody tell you rubbish.

poster,
Do your best, if she cant wait , let her go, just mind the way you solicit for advices on line because sometimes advices might be coming from people whose situations are worse of than yours, take care

almondjoy:

Yeah!  I  hear some people eat "agape"!   This same "agape" I understand has been known to eat people alive too with empty pockets!

Agape also buys diapers and cheerios?  And pays for health care abi?

Agape ko!  Agape ni!


Show me a house, car, schools for my kids, food on my table, gas in my car, diapers on my kids' behinds and I will definitely show you "agape" to the highest power!
Shiooooooooooooooooooo!

Thank God some of us can afford both the "agape" and all the above!

Agape with a jobless man is equivalent to prostitution without rewards!---Ashewo Five Alive!!!!

Jobless men should not have sex period! Or fall in love for that matter!

i used to think i ve seen it all( i mean human beings with goat brains) but i ve been proved wrong. almond idiot still exists.
in developed countries, this isn't an issue but in undeveloped minds like the one with her quote up, its a big issue. instead of looking for a guy that will feed u the rest of your life, why not try and become independent. are u so daft that u can't do anything to better the situation of a guy that is jobless?
what if after m,arrying the guy, he then loses his job. then it means u would run away and leave him. i use to respect your contributions. not any more. i despise u. you are nothing but the biggest mistake in human form i ve come across not only in this forum, but in my entire life. i pity the guy that will marry you becos u are a shame to be a called a wife. do you think the guy intentionally remained jobless?
answer now- if you ve the intelligence to answer sha. let me not waste my precious time on u

kerzakov:





i used to think i ve seen it all( i mean human beings with goat brains) but i ve been proved wrong. almond idiot still exists.
in developed countries, this isn't an issue but in undeveloped minds like the one with her quote up, its a big issue. instead of looking for a guy that will feed u the rest of your life, why not try and become independent. are u so daft that u can't do anything to better the situation of a guy that is jobless?
what if after m,arrying the guy, he then loses his job. then it means u would run away and leave him. i use to respect your contributions. not any more. i despise u. you are nothing but the biggest mistake in human form i ve come across not only in this forum, but in my entire life. i pity the guy that will marry you because u are a shame to be a called a wife. do you think the guy intentionally remained jobless?
answer now- if you ve the intelligence to answer sha. let me not waste my precious time on u

He he he he he he!

Ashewo Gulder Beer!!!!!

He he he he he he!

Ashewo Gulder Beer!!!!!

@topic
I understand your plight so much because i've had a friend in a similar situation. Like u, the guy culdn't get a very good job. He became self-employed scouting for jobs here and there. he even used to travel outside his location to scout and tender for contracts and jobs for about 4 years  after nysc. all the while, he had a relationship going, with enuff concerns about 'can the babe keep waiting?' the babe began cheating on him even though he turned a blind eye but i told him to let her go. He held on, later told me he wished he had listened. Don't know what happened afterwards.

I think what u should do is u guys should sit down and communicate. At least u have a job, can u draw a budget and tailor your lifestyle according to your coat? What can she bring to the table?(don't die of ego). Work out something between the two of you. There's no crime in
starting small. Staying small is definitely unpardonable.  But if it seems too great a thing 4 her to do, DO NOT hesitate to move on. Like someone said, once a lady's heart is no longer with you, forget about it.She's gone for good.
Wish u all the best.

@Faitymine
That the girl is feeling somehow at this point does not make her a GOLD DIgger. It means her perseverance level has thinned out. After about 4 years of relationship?habaa!!! she is NOT a gold digger. She is just so human and we need to be humane to recognize that.

@real_demi,
your comment is the best, i guess it will be the best on this thread.
that was more ladylike, very reasonable, and i guess someone that knows what life is like, not some funny creatures exhibiting attitudes like that of a hen that lost two chicks to a hawk. blessed is your husband.

You must be frustrating the poor girl. Free her!

Hii Poster

If I were you,I will just concentrate on my career and forge ahead.If you get a sustainable job, she will come back to you.


How are you sure you will date her when you get a good job because you class will change.

Love without money in Nigeria is infinitesimal,almost does not exist.

Don't blame the girl she want security, if you even get a menial job which in not sustainable she might still leave you .

you have to prove her wrong by being hard working and make a positive meaning out of career.


Bros, look forward to your career and forget them(girls) for now, the will come begging when you get there.



Engr kelvin

a lady cannot abscond from you because you are not working or making bills and dollars.,the fact is that she is feed up and nothing you can do about these.just be strong do not ever think about it.

Amazing how guys think of this issue one way and ladies think differently.  "Men are truly from Mars" and "Women are truly from Venus".

michelin89:

You must be frustrating the poor girl. Free her!

Real free her.  I would hate to be that kind of hostage. How can I be with a man that cannot take care of a family for God's sake? Impossible!

@poster
there must be something u are not telling us. Do u people really think women are stupid? no woman would ever want to leave a man who, though has no money, is industrious and hard working. every woman wants a man on whom she can depend even when all's not as well as they expect. no woman would stay with a man who she feels cannot take care of things when they actually go wrong. so poster, what is it u're not telling us?

almond you need medical check up.
OSANOBUA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don laugh taya.
which one be ashewo five alive ?

@ the poster I was just wondering,since you no get am for employment
how come you're at an internet cafe wasting the little money you get?
I don't blame the girl bo,afterall she hasn't said "I do"
At this time,she's available to anyone.
We ladies project into the future,if she marries you now,before we talk Jack Robinson,belle don come.
How for do?
Mounting okada with belle and bomboi strapped to her back.
No sir.

The bitter truth is that this girl is ready for marriage and you're not.
She ought to move on.

babyosisi:

almond you need medical check up.
OSANOBUA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don laugh taya.
which one be ashewo five alive ?

@ the poster I was just wondering,since you no get am for employment
how come you're at an internet cafe wasting the little money you get?
I don't blame the girl bo,afterall she hasn't said "I do"
At this time,she's available to anyone.


We ladies project into the future,if she marries you now,before we talk Jack Robinson,belle don come.
How for do?
Mounting okada with belle and bomboi strapped to her back.
No sir.

The bitter truth is that this girl is ready for marriage and you're not.
She ought to move on.

My sister, I have a hard time keeping up with you these days.  You have finally received your name "originale"!  If I be you, I no for take am back.  Anytime I see that you name I will remember "Dimka" and "mama osisi"! Chai!  Nairaland!!!!

You don't know that useless drink in some ugly looking carton or box in Naija that sells for like 300 Naira per box I think.  Some babes will gladly fall for any dude with that jedi jedi-causing poisonous drink--all in the name of selling juice-- because they are such cheap low aimers.  No ashewo worse pass that one!    So dealing with a jobless man puts any lady in that category.

You have made the same point I made.  Some people begin talk say I too harsh.  How can a woman be laying on the same bed with a man without prospects of how the future will even look?   We are not even talking sure bankers. Just a little idea. The worse part is that those ones na them phock pass the ones when get job out of nothing else to do.  If belle come Mr. Errrrrrrrrrrrr "No Idea" go siddon dey look you like Lucozade.

Terrible! I say I give him 6 months without "fringe benefits"! Then I am gone. We fit do part time love later if I remember him for his prowess between the sheets!

I sabi five alive well well.
I smuggled one pass  some yeye European immigration on my way from Naija last time and proudly drank it at my lay over time.
wait o,I don't remember if it was five alive or chivita.

my name originale always have been,I was forced to go back to it after my dear name was prohibited
about the poster,he ought to hone his job getting skills not his woman getting skills.
first things first