I know this may sound very stupid, because it really does sound stupid. I'm thinkin of ending a 9 month old relationship because it is too perfect.
when we first met, my girlfriend was very all that. she was poilte, very humble, very gentle, very neat, very submissive. We have never had a single quarrel. we have never argued on a single issue. we have never disagreed on any issue. and now i'm getting scared. if i suggest anything, she quickly agrees. she never disagrees with me. this is really gettin on my nerves because it is making the whole relationship boring.
i even tried picking up fites with her deliberately but she would apologise for what she did not do and the intended quarrel would end.

I confronted her about this one day and she said i was supposed to be happy we are not fighting.

am i supposed to be happy?
am i weird? please this is gettin on my nerves. .

i want to see her get angry. i want to see her annoyed. i want to see her other side.
what do i do

WE NEED TO FIGHT OR ELSE I'LL END THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!

Men guy,
Abi craze don dey worry you,thats the kind of girl ive been looking for all my life.Someone that when i say sit she sits,stand she stands,shit she shits etc.Guy dont hurt an innocent girl oh.

It is hilarious and reminded of my former college roommate, who was from Thailand came to the USA for the first time with student visa, just exactly like your "TOO PERFECT" girlfriend.

Her black American boyfriend was complained just like you (@disturbed). I learned that she does not understand about our America culture on dating/relationship, because she grew up transferring to China for her school before return back her motherland (Thailand). In China at her times, dating was forbid. She was early 50ish but her youth looks deceived look like 20 years old because of very very small-frame bone skinny.

As of result their relationship was over because of TOO PERFECT!!!

either u re gettin d wrong idea nd she's d one 4 u or she's jst pretendin nd she may change if u get married 2 her.

why dont you find out from her friends and family if she's just naturally like that?

ha!  

another nairalander has had was is been don *  striked *  again  


your girl is too perfect and you're not cool with that?. . .    its obvious you r yet to meet your perfect match, shes not for the likes of you i pity her so much!

Y don't u tell her you want her to express herself and her views? Or ask her what she wants before giving a suggestion?

I get what you are talking about and it bothers me as well. I have been with a guy who was like that. It drives me nuts, especially since I know I am pretty intense person and I worked at making sure I was not just bossing him around, but he just wen tell me do whatevers. That is not how a relationship works, and I could not handle. He told me that he did it cuz he thought he made me happy that way; I told him it didn't, so he got better. But he just was not a very strong person, personality-wise I guess.

@disturbed

Your concerns are very genuine and I think you are a wise man to realise that there is no perfect relationship. Two human beings, even if they are identical twins must have differences. And in a relationship, if 2 people are exactly the same one person is irrelevant. He or she has seized to be him or herself. There must be conflict of ideas, interests, etc Having conflict is not the problem in relationships but how you handle the conflict is the issue.

It is either
1. she is intimidated by you and she doesn't want to oppose you in any way
2. she has had terrible relationships in the past because she was herself
3. she is desperate to get you hooked
4. she has something to hide
5. she doesn't trust you to open up to you or be herself

If I were in your shoes,I would not take the relationship and further until both of you can be real about yourself. You may need to earn her trust to open up to you and be herself.

~Sly~(*_*):

ha!

another nairalander has striked again

you sef be careful before you 'striked' us dead with your grammar

@ poster

It may be a cultural thing of meekness/submissiveness to a mate, or she may have had troubling relationships or she wants to snag you quickly

investigate more and see. You really might have a gem on your hands.

debosky:

investigate more and see. You really might have a gem on your hands.

or a nightmare on his hands?  I like girls who are fiesty, are not afraid to challenge me (don't take that to mean disrespect me), have their own oppinions (i am not always right) and are independent (not in the feminazi way).
Meek women are nice but there is a limit . . . u get bored easily.

thats ur wife right tur man, wife her before i do

debosky:

you sef be careful before you 'striked' us dead with your grammar

@ poster

It may be a cultural thing of meekness/submissiveness to a mate, or she may have had troubling relationships or she wants to snag you quickly

investigate more and see. You really might have a gem on your hands.

Strike, striked, strucked!

@poster
Sorry jare. Life is not fair sometimes. Goodluck oh!

yes mastah

no mastah

@ poster
i feel ur pains and i can understand your fears ! just take your time and observe her more ! being extremely submissive could be dangerous ! Maybe u dont really understand her?? maybe shes still trying to understand you?? Remember, the relationship is 9 months old ! the possibility that shes hiding something cant be ruled out and the possibility that your are just getting worried over nothing cant be ignored as well.

Please, take your time more on this issue.
Best of luck
cheers

yeah it's sometimes boring having everything perfect in ur life.

hi "disturbed"
i agree with those that suggest u have a tal with your girl friend, have a passive partner can be dangerous, it migt be that she's deperate to hook u, and that could be HELL for you, create space for her to take decision for both of u, watch the way she behave amidst her friends and relatives and that could be asummary of what to expect within the marriage

Guy, you are like me.

You need a little drama in your r/lshp to startle you atimes, put you on the edge at times and generally, make it look real.

Personally, I do not appreciate a very docile-submissive r/lshp. It would be devoid of the various heats and excitements that raises the nerves and makes you both pant and work harder for the r/lshp.

I'm sorry to say this but the lady in question does not match your emotional state.

I will advise you to end it _{but 'end it on a good and friendly, no frills note'}

Otherwise, you will get to start hating and maltreating the poor soul _{simply b/c she doesn't excite you.}

She's just not being herself.

You'll have to encourage her to be herself otherwise, you'll end up being married to a stranger.

On the other hand, she might not be 'pretending'. she might have been brough up to be timid, but it's either she'll continue to be your zombie even after marriage *which is going to be very boring* or you'll be shocked when she finally becomes natural with you.
People like that are very deep, they could actually be hurting deeply and not voice out their pains.

If you love her, help her to be more expressive and independent.

Oh this is funny, cos this is not supposed to bug u. Its only the elements of the first trimester in a relationship. Time will tell.

In my ex-relationship, we were like that for a whole year plus. We even talked about it. He was one day like "Jk have u wondered why we haven't had a single row?" I was just happy about it, but he just told me it's inevitable. When we started quarreling, it came in full force. It became hot, although more interesting!! We had stuffs to worry about & then one person starts caring more than the other.

I only see this as a good start, Just forget her birthday & see if she'll take it likely. Hmmmn, but if she doesn't complain again? Ha! i'll run

@poster
Let me summarize the points the elders have spoken

@Odiaseo.
Has said the most impressionable of all the points.

@chychy
She has added her 2 credilbe cents

@jisola
,,,,watch the babe in the midst of HER friends and relatives. THIS IS SO CRUCIAL. especially in a case like this. Watch her in her unguarded moments whilst relating with others. Learnt it from Pst Bimbo Odukoya (of blessed memory). then u'll know if she's just being 'meek' with you or it's to evry1 in her life. That's the true test.

@Opokonwa and yimiton.
If after u find out that she is actually that meek(which i sincerely doubt), then I concur to the fact that she does not match your emotinoal state as  a person and might be a zombie all the days of ya lives. God forbid!!!

Truly wish u all the best. It's like u really want the relationship to work. Follow all d above and let's know how far. have a great year!!

@jk
that's another strong point. the 1st trimester of serious relationships is always gooey^{(i actually thought i was the only dat noticed that})

hi guys. .thanks so much. .

it is not as if i do not appreciate having a cool headed girl, cos i really do.
my point is, we have never fought!!.

there was a particular day she gave me some money to help her send to her mum who needed it urgently. . .sincerely i forgot to send it and i when i told her i forgot and said i was sorry, she didnt get angry at all. she didnt even raise her voice or sound dissappointed. she just said OK and that was the end of it.
shouldn't a normal girl get angry?? i mean. . .her mom needed the money urgently and i didnt send it.

sometimes she even apologises for things she didnt do. . .
this is exactly why i'm scared.
is she real? is she faking the nice stuff?

i'm kinda busy wit my masters rite now so i hardly hang out with her and her friends so i really cant say if she's like that wit her friends.
i spoke wit one of her friends i know and she said she's like that. . she is generally nice. . .
even at that, i'm still scared. .

never had a quarrel??

guy, that girl is a time bomb. . .waiting for the perfect time to explode. .
run faaaasssstttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with speed, . .

disturbed:

, she didnt get angry at all. she didnt even raise her voice or sound dissappointed. she just said OK and that was the end of it.
shouldn't a normal girl get angry?? i mean. . .her mom needed the money urgently and i didnt send it.

sometimes she even apologises for things she didnt do. . .
this is exactly why i'm scared.
is she real? is she faking the nice stuff?

Lmao you are dating an andriod. Her friends arent gonna tell you shit.

I can't wait til you two get married and you come back on Nairaland and make a thread on how your new wife tries to smother you with a pillow in your sleep.

No Human being is perfect and although your girl might look like that now, i think there's more than meets the eye.

I think you have not touched her raw spot yet and it's better you know what makes her happy, sad, angry etc, before you go ahead with the relationship.

I suggest you have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and express your feelings. Tell her how your "perfect" relationship makes you feel.
The whole gist is issue is not whether you fight a lot or don't at all, it's just knowing her, what makes her tick and all that matters,

It's no guarantee that couples whom fight a lot b4 they get married make better homes or vice versa. I have had a few arguments with my woman, but we quarrel less these days, cos we now know what boundaries to step.

I wish you well.

D-reloaded:

Lmao you are dating an andriod. Her friends arent going to tell you shit.

I can't wait til you two get married and you come back on Nairaland and make a thread on how your new wife tries to smother you with a pillow in your sleep.

lmao, , lol
that was harsh. . .

my guy, RUN!!!!!!!!!!! Run for your dear life. .
thats the kind of girl that would poison you and still smile on ur death bed. .
lmao. . .

"I can't wait til you two get married and you come back on Nairaland and make a thread on how your new wife tries to smother you with a pillow in your sleep".


Laughing out sooo loud and wiping tears from my eyes. This is way too funny .

A fight with your spouse could be good for health: study

CHICAGO (AFP) - A good fight with your spouse could be good for the health, a new study has found.

Couples who suppressed their anger have a mortality rate twice as high as those in which at least one partner stands up for themselves, according to the study which tracked 192 US couples for 17 years.

Disturbed could be right afterall.

@poster

I'm having a softer tone to this issue.
Have you really discussed her 'passiveness' with her?

I guess you have not

Can you try to talk it over with her b/f you pull the plug

D D has said it all.

u go and investigate her in her family or/and among her friends.

cos u cannot both agree on everything.

and maybe u r doing most of the talking. Talk less and let her do most of the talking.

cos i personally hate someone that does not have a mind of her own.

its in two folds. its either she is good or just pretending.

so bros try find out.