₦airaland Forum

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sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope, where I found true love and hapiness, where nothing else mattered to me in this world has just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS).

I feel shattered ,broken, pained, disconsolate, heavy-hearted, sorrowful, aggrieved, wounded and bruised. My heart bleeds terribly, I've cried myself to sleep several times(usually I feel better after a good cry when I feel bad) but I still don't feel better. I find myself blaming nature, my stupid genotype, and God....I loved him, I still do, with every fibre of my being.

Oh God,we had ‎​so much in common, ideas, views, beliefs, birth month, family structure,physical attributes etc.I know for sure,I'll never find anyone like him **sobbing** Until now,I neva believed any human cud feel this much pain.

The amount of pain I carry in my heart at the moment is such that I keep wishing for death, maybe I would find some peace there. I cant say but maybe I feel dis bad cuz it seems soo easy for him. He has moved on, barely one week after.Maybe its just my imagination but it was really easy for him. I don't know if its usually so easy to let go of someone you truly and really love.

He was everything to me, he made me very happy, my world went round because of him, and now, my world feels so empty without him. We had decided to go ahead initially, with the plan of having CVS with each pregnancy but he is too scared to take that chance. This is the saddest thing that ever happened to me all my life. I still want him. Imagine finding someone you love completely, and finding all u ever wanted in that person but still not be able to have that person.

I'm praying to God for strength to carry on (even though I must be truthful, I'm sorry, but my faith and belief in him has greatly dwindled) as I really don't wanna do anything nasty.I don't understand why God would sit by and watch me go through dis and not intervene.

Any words of encouragement to help me go through dis would be appreciated, as I don't really have my friends around me at the moment and I feel so lonely in this world, plus I really needed to bare my heart one way or the other.

I hope I feel better after this. God bless you.

I have sent you an email.Please reply soon as you can. May God keep you ..
Bless...
Lenny

[b][/b]

flexya: Off all the 20yrs or so I stayed in UK, genotype was not a word I heard let alone considered in my relationships. Same was the case wit my friends and associates. When I returned 2 Naija, I learnt it is a big issue. So my question is, why? Do they av more advanced solutions 2 "genotype incompatibilty" in western countries or are they less concerned about welfare of offspring.

For those who come on NL just 2 yell insults, walk away. I am interested in being educated.

flexya: Off all the 20yrs or so I stayed in UK, genotype was not a word I heard let alone considered in my relationships. Same was the case wit my friends and associates. When I returned 2 Naija, I learnt it is a big issue. So my question is, why? Do they av more advanced solutions 2 "genotype incompatibilty" in western countries or are they less concerned about welfare of offspring.

For those who come on NL just 2 yell insults, walk away. I am interested in being educated.

If u think d world has colapsed on you, then u hav hope becus u are stil thinkin and not realy dead. The tears dat run thru ur chik now, wil put smile on ur face tomorow. And i tel u a brif story.
There was a student in my sch where im teachin. She was very briliant and intelegent, she was one of the best students, behol, she was a sicler. When we went on one of thse breks somtim last year, at resumption we were told dat dis girl died and d illness was brif. As im talikn to u now, d younger is also wit us in d same sch and a sicler too. The beliv is dat, she too wil soon die. Also, a friend of mine who obstinately marrid a lady despite genotype incompatibility, two of their children are siclers one of them has died, and he has since divorced the woman.
I want to ask u a few questions
1. Wuld u want to pass thru wat these people hav and ar stil passin thru?
2. Wuld u want to giv birth to children and see them all dead befo ur eyes?
3. Wuld u want to spend d rest of ur life in hospital?
4. Wat sense does it make when u hav beautiful kids, yet dey wil die an liv u very soon?
I beliv the luv u hav fo dis young man now wil die a natural death when all these begin to surface. Count it all joy fo GOD has saved ur future sorrow.
And my advise is dat, be sensitive when in a relationship to knw d level dat d relationship is takin u to, and then u take a propriate steps, by knwin ur genotype, blood grup, check family-medical social history so as to knw if the family is a no go area. May God put on you a garment of joy my deat.

Koolking: Sandylurv, I feel your pains. I know what it means to lose (not in death) someone you truly love. I am still struggling to get over my own lost. When my girlfriend broke up with me for her own fault, I thought I was going to die. Suicide was an option. I lost interest in things I love to do. I cried all nights for weeks. I am still broken, wounded and hateful.

Just like you, I had so much hope in the relationship, we were happy in the relationship. She completed me, she was the voice of my life. We were best of friends, we treasured each other like gold, we vowed to live for each other. We did a lot of crazy things for our happiness, we hugged each other for comfort. She made me promise never to leave her, and I was sure I would never leave. I gave in everything I could without reservation. Against all odds, I wanted a life with her. She made me love her with every breath in me. All my life I never loved a girl as I loved her. We were only 4 months old in the relationship, but I was ready to risk it all. I adjusted my life to be with her for the rest of my life. I compromised myself to see her happy. We promised to stand by each other even if the sun does not shine tomorrow. It happened so fast, she changed over night and walked away just like that and never wanted us to talk about it. It was so strange. May be she found a man to prey on. I know she is guilty, and never stop calling to find out how I am doing. I have stopped picking her calls; I want to forget about her and be happy again. Surprisingly, I still love her even tomorrow. In my spite, I was compelled to accept that "Women are almost the same". I wish I could recreate them.

I bet, you will live through it. He was not the best man for you. You assumed he was the best man for you. God will never give you a man who is best for you today, but a man, an Angel who is best for you today and tomorrow. Build yourself around exciting friends. Everything happens for a reason and purpose. God is taking away disaster in your path. Tomorrow matters, not today. God wants you to be closer to HIM. My experience draws me closer to God. Looking back in memory will make you miserable. Make friends with your bible, you will find comfort. Those who care never walk away no matter what. God will always be GOD. He gives us what HE wants us to have and not what we want to have. I believe in prayers. I believe in HIS word. Read Psalms 06:02 - 10.

Cheer up

Mumunatu....

Maybe we should offer these tests as routine premarital health screenings in the US...

chronique: @ Sandy:

I guess while crying,you'd look at his picture and ask: God why me? I guess you'd constantly read old text msgs & the likes,hold on to everything that reminds you of him & break down again into tears... But trust me,the best that you guys can have is what it is. Trust me,you dont wanna know how it feels to raise a sickle cell child,that might eventually die after spending all your resources on him/her. At that stage,you'd be wishing you'd broken up with your husband early enough. Get one thing clear. Even if he was AA & U're AS,it does not guarantee a life long union of hapiness. We've seen pple break up after 6months - 1yr of marriage after dating for 6,7,8 yrs. They always thought they'd found the best thing in life. I'm not tryna discredit or dismiss the love you have for ur man but trust me,when sickle cell issues arise for pple,it's only God that can tell how things will end up. Do not forget that marriage has it's own challenges that some pple cant even handle & adding that to the challenge of dealing with sickle cell kids is something else. Even those who are extremely wealthy,dont find it easy. My advice is,try(I knw it wont be easy) to psyche urself up & face this reality. U can only get over this by finding another relationship that would measure up to what you just lost(if not better). So,try to put urself in the right frame of mind. Go out,meet pple,hangout with friends,see movies,etc. Get involved with as many activities that would help you get over this & also improve ur chances of getting hooked up to somebody worthwhile. Duelling on this incident,is a complete minus and adds no positives. Time is off essence. Try to be strong for yourself. Talk with friends often and avoid being lonely. There are so many options to explore. This's the much I can say now. If you need a friend to talk to,you could also holla me on 07065614087. Perhaps,I might be able to crack you a few jokes & cheer you up from time to time. Just have this at the back of ur mind: there's a beautiful life ahead of you;dnt let the past hinder you. Cheers!

Oh... This is too emotional *tears in ma heart*.. Buh, y d number naw?? Nd u crack jokes??.. Woaah.. Well, Am gonna call u, @sandy, u shud move on.. Note: God takes out somethings, nd gives u something much more unique. God never slumbers nor sleep, he already know this is gonna happen, nd he has already provided a solution for it, nd to find the solution, u need him (GOD) more than ever, and believe me.. Your FAITH matters, a lot.. Nd if u need somebody ASAP, i have a cousin

mxxpunkxx!:
I feel no pity at all. Like @Hotstepper rightly said, if you wanna venture in2 a serious reltnship, thou shall do an extensive test b4 commencing.
I dated my chic for one year, at the start of the 2nd year, when i knew the relationship was heading somwhere
we opted for an extensive test, from the least of them to the greatest amongst them, including HIV/AIDS . .
We are both AA and non-reactive to HIV !!! HURRAY!!!

IF YOU KNOW U WANNA ENTER A SERIOUS & COMMITTED RELTNSHIP, PLEASE GO FOR A COMPATIBILITY TEST !!
HE WHO HAS AN EAR, LET HIM LISTEN

Oga, is dis not abit contradictory? After 1 year in a relationship, u guys now carried out an extensive medical exam. So u mean if the exam showed u guys wia both AS, ur gal wouldn't feel bad after 1 year?

U knw its easier (faster) for gals to fall in love than guys. After a failed relationship, its easier for guys to move on than gals. U'll move on easily but d gal won't find it dat easy.

@Op, I'm sorry and I hope u guys find the strenght to move on. If not, thank God for medical science.
U guys can opt for that selection process.

In my Family, we're blessed. My parents got married in the 70's without any medical exam and only discovered their AS status after I was born (80's) I'm d last in my family. None of us are SS and infact I am AA. God is good.

@OP: You are indeed lucky to have discovered this early. In future you'll look back and laugh over it. I understand your pains but come to think of it, if you both go ahead to get married, don't be surprised that the union wouldn't last cos eventually, reality would hit you in the face. Thank God things turned out this way. I assure you, the best is yet to come.

@joelala: For crying out loud, the Op made it clear that the relationship is over so what other practical solution do u expect? The best thing to do at this point is to console her and encourage her to move on. The reason why you didn't hear much about genotype testing in the past is that the AS genotype is something found only amongst the coloured and black race and as such, the whites are not really interested in it and much isn't said about it in the western world. You don't have to hurl insults on Nigerians back home except you have monopoly of knowledge which you obviously don't. What positive advise have you proffered? I expect you to give one before criticising others.

Alright guys,let me say something here. I dont want it to sound like I'm complaining but pls,permit me to speak up. I dont know what I was thinking when I put my no there. Perhaps,I got too touched with sandra's story & wanted to help out. However,some readers have called to appreciate my words of advice & feel like they'd love to call me from time to time when they got issues. I got no problem with that. What I dont like now is the numerous beeps(flashes) I've been getting. It's quite distracting & annoying & I really dont like it. Pls,lets act civil & matured. God bless y'all.

sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope, where I found true love and hapiness, where nothing else mattered to me in this world has just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS).

I feel shattered ,broken, pained, disconsolate, heavy-hearted, sorrowful, aggrieved, wounded and bruised. My heart bleeds terribly, I've cried myself to sleep several times(usually I feel better after a good cry when I feel bad) but I still don't feel better. I find myself blaming nature, my stupid genotype, and God....I loved him, I still do, with every fibre of my being.

Oh God,we had ‎​so much in common, ideas, views, beliefs, birth month, family structure,physical attributes etc.I know for sure,I'll never find anyone like him **sobbing** Until now,I neva believed any human cud feel this much pain.

The amount of pain I carry in my heart at the moment is such that I keep wishing for death, maybe I would find some peace there. I cant say but maybe I feel dis bad cuz it seems soo easy for him. He has moved on, barely one week after.Maybe its just my imagination but it was really easy for him. I don't know if its usually so easy to let go of someone you truly and really love.

He was everything to me, he made me very happy, my world went round because of him, and now, my world feels so empty without him. We had decided to go ahead initially, with the plan of having CVS with each pregnancy but he is too scared to take that chance. This is the saddest thing that ever happened to me all my life. I still want him. Imagine finding someone you love completely, and finding all u ever wanted in that person but still not be able to have that person.

I'm praying to God for strength to carry on (even though I must be truthful, I'm sorry, but my faith and belief in him has greatly dwindled) as I really don't wanna do anything nasty.I don't understand why God would sit by and watch me go through dis and not intervene.

Any words of encouragement to help me go through dis would be appreciated, as I don't really have my friends around me at the moment and I feel so lonely in this world, plus I really needed to bare my heart one way or the other.

I hope I feel better after this. God bless you.

Trust me, you guys made a right decision. I was in the same shoes a while ago...We had to end our beautiful 11years relationship...It is actually a selfish act to bring in a unhealthy child into your so called "Beautiful Relationship"....When the crisis begin, the first thing that fades away is that so called love you guys have for each other. Then secondly, the little change you guys need for feeding, mini vacations and stuff, will definitely be used to treat the SS child...

I know with God all things are possible, but why dare GOD? I moved on almost immediately after the break-up, because I never wanted an unhealthy child in the first place.

Also, it is of my opinion to hold on to the sweet memories of the 11years we had than to live with sad ones for the rest of my life...

It is just a matter of time...You will be fine soonest...Besides, don't dwell too much on what is gone..!

My quote "It is a selfish act to bring into the world an unhealthy child, knowingly" ....Follow @2ngbaskee on twitter

One love

Early prenatal diagnosis of the disease is critical because it allows couples with AS genotype to consider pregnancy termination as an option. As long as you have money to check the foetus genotype within the first 3months, couple can decide to terminate if foetus is SS. This kind of operation is done in one of the Central London Hospital. It cost over £12,000.

sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope, where I found true love and hapiness, where nothing else mattered to me in this world has just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS).

I feel shattered ,broken, pained, disconsolate, heavy-hearted, sorrowful, aggrieved, wounded and bruised. My heart bleeds terribly, I've cried myself to sleep several times(usually I feel better after a good cry when I feel bad) but I still don't feel better. I find myself blaming nature, my stupid genotype, and God....I loved him, I still do, with every fibre of my being.

Oh God,we had ‎​so much in common, ideas, views, beliefs, birth month, family structure,physical attributes etc.I know for sure,I'll never find anyone like him **sobbing** Until now,I neva believed any human cud feel this much pain.

The amount of pain I carry in my heart at the moment is such that I keep wishing for death, maybe I would find some peace there. I cant say but maybe I feel dis bad cuz it seems soo easy for him. He has moved on, barely one week after.Maybe its just my imagination but it was really easy for him. I don't know if its usually so easy to let go of someone you truly and really love.

He was everything to me, he made me very happy, my world went round because of him, and now, my world feels so empty without him. We had decided to go ahead initially, with the plan of having CVS with each pregnancy but he is too scared to take that chance. This is the saddest thing that ever happened to me all my life. I still want him. Imagine finding someone you love completely, and finding all u ever wanted in that person but still not be able to have that person.

I'm praying to God for strength to carry on (even though I must be truthful, I'm sorry, but my faith and belief in him has greatly dwindled) as I really don't wanna do anything nasty.I don't understand why God would sit by and watch me go through dis and not intervene.

Any words of encouragement to help me go through dis would be appreciated, as I don't really have my friends around me at the moment and I feel so lonely in this world, plus I really needed to bare my heart one way or the other.

I hope I feel better after this. God bless you.

................COME TO ME I WILL LOVE AND HAMMER YOU EVERY BLESSED DAY:! May your kitten live long to hear and recieve more hammerings! Ameeeeeeeeeeeen!

Its unfortunate but rather that than have to go through a situation of having the situation of a friend who went through 5 pregnancies and endded up with 2 children to avoid an SS situation it would still feel like killing your baby.

With genotype issues you really need to get it out of the way in the initial 2 weeks although I know that there is the issue that a lot of people might not even know what their genotype is or they might have been given wrong infomation. I did 3 different tests from 3 different establishments and was told that I was AA only to find out in the second year at university that they were all wrong.

It is well.

Look for AA now and don't kill yourself over this issue. What if this so called guy of your dies just before your wedding. Love will always come to you and there are still so many good guys around that will love you more.

Tnx everyone for ur kind words of encouragement,God bless u all.To those who sent me mails,God bless u too.

sandylurv: Tnx everyone for ur kind words of encouragement,God bless u all.To those who sent me mails,God bless u too.

No be only emial and word of encouragement;;;We go even packege and send you our WETIN CALL

Well I also hv a similar story I had a guy who was every thing to me he knew I was ss and was in d hospital whenever I had my crisis. He said he wuld marry me thinkin he was aa bought wen he was travellin out of d country he checked everythin and found out he was as dat led to our break up.he was every thing but I had to let him go

@ op, pls let go of dt r/ship, i no its easy nd can neva be but u just hv to do ds nt because of ur present situatn but ur future children. Am a medical student, pls go to any federal hospital nd see hw ds children re sufferin 4 sin of their all in d name am so scared of all losin him or her. I pray dt God wl bring a compatible pattern nd beta person ur way soon

kolexy: Mumunatu....

I am not sure I understand you dude. What was that ^for?

I am glad to contribute to this because . the new medical innovations now is the even when you are in love with an ''ss'' person you don't need to ... you can go a head to marry her or him ! cos these days you sellect ..... want details ? inbox me {mosesegbe@yahoo.com} or call 08037112568 moses is a medical expert ....

It has a cure, but Nigeria isn't that advanced in such medical technology.

Disease Information
Hematologic Disorders: Sickle Cell Disease

Alternate Names: sickle cell anemia, hemoglobin SC disease, sickle beta thalassemia disease
Definition

Sickle cell disease is a genetic blood disorder that affects the hemoglobin within the red blood cells. Hemoglobin is the main ingredient in red blood cells. Hemoglobin helps red blood cells carry oxygen from the lungs to other parts of the body. Normal red blood cells have hemoglobin A. Hemoglobin A helps keeps red blood cells soft and round; it allows them to be flexible and flow easily through small blood vessels. People with sickle cell disease have hemoglobin S (also called sickle hemoglobin) in their red blood cells. Under certain circumstances, hemoglobin S causes the blood cells to become hard and form a sickle (or banana) shape. Sickle shaped hemoglobin can block small blood vessels causing complications such as, pain, organ damage, sequestration or stroke.

There are several different types of sickle cell disease. Sickle cell disease is the name for a group of disorders that all have predominantly sickle hemoglobin. The most common types of sickle cell disease within the United States are:

Sickle Cell Anemia (Also known as Hb SS or Homozygous Sickle Cell Disease)
Sickle Hemoglobin C Disease (Also known as Hemoglobin Hb SC Disease)
Sickle Beta Thalassemia Disease (Sickle Beta Plus Thalassemia and Sickle Beta Zero Thalassemia Disease)


Incidence

In the United States, approximately one in 375 African-Americans is born with sickle cell disease each year.

Influencing Factors

Genetics

Sickle cell disease is an inherited disorder. In the United States, the disease is more prevalent in African-Americans and Hispanics; however, anyone can have sickle cell disease. It is estimated that one in ten (1 in 10) African-Americans have sickle cell trait; and one in one hundred (1 in 100) Hispanic Americans have sickle cell trait.
If both parents have sickle cell trait, there is a one in four chance with each pregnancy of having a child with sickle cell anemia. If one parent has sickle cell trait, and the other parent has another abnormal hemoglobin trait (such as hemoglobin S, C, E, or beta thalassemia), there is a one in four chance with each pregnancy of having a child with some type of sickle cell disease.


Survival Rates

Patients with sickle cell disease can have many clinical complications affecting their health and survival. Earlier studies from the 1980s suggested that patients with homozygous sickle cell disease (HbSS) had a life expectancy in the mid-40s. However, with early diagnosis and management, coupled with comprehensive care and more therapeutic options, the life expectancy in sickle cell disease is increasing.

Treatment Strategies

Chronic Red Blood Cell Transfusions. Chronic red blood cell transfusions are used as a treatment for various complications of sickle cell disease. Transfusions are the major treatment for cerebrovascular accidents (stroke) in children with sickle cell disease. With chronic transfusions, blood is given every three to four weeks. Complications of chronic red blood cell transfusions include iron overload, infection, antibody formation, and transfusion reactions.

Hydroxyurea. All infants are born with fetal hemoglobin (HbF) in their blood cells; however, soon after birth the amount of HbF rapidly decreases. Hydroxyurea is a medication taken by mouth once a day to help increase the body’s production of HbF, thereby reducing sickling and many of the major complications of sickle cell disease.

Bone Marrow Transplantation. Bone marrow (or stem cell) transplantation is the only cure for sickle cell disease. The cure was first performed successfully in 1983, when a St. Jude patient with leukemia and sickle cell disease received a bone marrow transplant. The procedure cured both diseases. Red blood cells are made in the bone marrow. In a person with sickle cell disease, the bone marrow produces hemoglobin S instead of hemoglobin A. During a transplant, the patient’s bone marrow is replaced with marrow from a person who does not have sickle cell disease. Even though bone marrow transplant is a cure for sickle cell disease, its use is limited because of the difficulty in finding a matched donor, and the complications associated with transplant.

Current Research

St. Jude Children's Research Hospital has one of the largest and most active Sickle Cell Disease Programs in the nation. St. Jude treats approximately 800 children per year with sickle cell disease. St. Jude has several labs, which perform various research on sickle cell disease. These labs perform basic science and translational research. Basic science involves theoretical research which is conducted in the lab. Translational research brings the research from the lab to the patient.

In 2008, the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute named St. Jude as one of 12 institutions nationwide to participate in the Basic and Translational Research Program (BTRP) on sickle cell disease. The BTRP funded 2 projects at St. Jude under this program.

One project funded by in the BTRP is led by Dr. Derek Person. It is designed to include a gene therapy solution on sickle cell disease. It has both a basic science and translational research component.
The second project is led by Dr. Tuomanen, Infectious Disease chair. This project will study pneumococcal infection in patients with sickle cell disease from a lab prospective. This project also has both basic science and translational components.

St. Jude is also recognized for their research for clinical trials. Clinical trials are aimed at finding better ways to treat children with sickle cell disease. Some of the major clinical trials at St. Jude include:

BABYHU: The purpose of this study is to determine if hydroxyurea can prevent organ damage in infants with sickle cell anemia; specifically spleen and kidney damage.
SWiTCH: This trial will compare hydroxyurea and phlebotomy versus transfusions and chelation therapy. This study is for children with sickle cell anemia who have had a stroke with iron overloaded.
HUSTLE: The purpose of this study is to determine the long term effects of hydroxyurea therapy in children with sickle cell disease.



The St. Jude Web site is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services. The information provided through this site should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.

http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=0f3c061585f70110VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD

acidtalk: If you have money. And I mean real money its not a problem.

My papa na Native Doctor. He fit help you do am wey the children no go get crisis.

He did it for the likes of 9ice and 2face and see them today. Or have you heard they have had crisis while performing even as dem lepa reach?

may God 4giv u.

Prevention is better than cure & a stitch in time saves nine. You did not state your socio-economic status. No amount of love will compensate for the sufferings associated with raising a child with sickle cell anaemia. Don't let emotions overwhelm your sense of reasoning. The earlier you look for a new partner, the better.

life is better than love but whatever that ha[[ens know that where your problems stops others just started so brace yourself....