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Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend - Religion - Nairaland

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Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 9:38pm On Oct 31, 2012
With the questions arising on the religion section I thought this would be helpful for our brothers and sisters alike.

HBG: Question: "What should I be looking for in a boyfriend"

Answer: Anybody can say they love Jesus, or that they’re a Christian. But how do you know, when you’re falling in love with someone, whether they are the real deal? The Bible doesn’t mention the kind of dating relationships we see today; in fact, the only romantic relationships portrayed are either marriage relationships or adulterous relationships. What this means is that a Christian boyfriend should be, first and foremost, a man you plan to marry or at least someone who would make a good Christian husband. A Christian woman should be looking for someone who is serious about God and serious about his relationship with her. A Christian boyfriend isn’t dating just for fun; he has marriage in mind.

The Bible is full of verses that describe what a Christian man should be like, verses that are helpful and trustworthy for a woman who is evaluating a potential husband. The following are some guidelines based on those verses. A Christian boyfriend should be:

1.Humble and teachable: The Bible tells us that a righteous man, or a wise man, will take instruction gladly, even when it hurts him (Psalm 141:5; Proverbs 9:9, 12:15). A righteous man evidences a willingness to be corrected by Scripture and a tendency to love and listen to those who can teach him from the Scripture.

2.Honest: Do his actions agree with his words? The Bible says that a righteous man is characterized by honesty in his personal and business dealings (Ephesians 4:28). In addition, when he makes a promise, a Christian man keeps his promise, even when it hurts (Psalm 15:2-5). In short, his character should be one of integrity.

3.Selfless: The Bible speaks specifically to husbands when it tells them to love their wives as they love their own bodies, just like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25-28). A Christian boyfriend should begin to exhibit this kind of care and love for his girlfriend long before marriage. Love is easy in the romantic beginning stages, but a Christian boyfriend should be the kind of man whose behavior and intentions will be loving in all kinds of circumstances (1 John 3:18).

4.Able and willing to provide: The Bible says that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:cool. Provision doesn’t necessarily mean “bringing in a lot of money.” The issue is whether he takes responsibility for the welfare of his wife and children. It is important for women to grasp the seriousness of this verse. A man that doesn’t want to provide is very hard for a woman to respect, and if a wife struggles to respect her husband, marital troubles will go beyond the material. A woman’s respect for her husband and a man’s love for his wife are interdependent and life-giving to a marriage (Ephesians 5:25-32).

5.Willing to proactively protect: Both physically and emotionally, women tend to be weaker and more easily hurt than men. They need to be understood and protected and cared for in a proactive way. A good Christian boyfriend is a man who will look out for and care for his girlfriend and carry this passion for protecting her on into marriage (1 Peter 3:7).

Also, here are some negative things to watch out for: materialism (1 John 2:15-16; 1 Timothy 6:10), lying (Proverbs 12:22,19:22), sexual unfaithfulness (Ecclesiastes 7:26; Proverbs 7) and poor treatment of family members, especially his mother (Proverbs 15:20, 19:26, 20:20, 23:22). Usually a man’s treatment of his mother is a good indication of how he will treat his wife. Also, watch out for irrationally, controlling or jealous tendencies, as these often lead to violence (Proverbs 6:34; 27:4).

Finally, a Christian boyfriend is one with whom a woman is evenly matched. First, in the spiritual sense – a couple’s relationship with God should be the primary factor in any relationship, and they should be matched in that regard. Believers are commanded to marry other believers (2 Corinthians 6:14), so there is no reason to be dating an unbeliever. But a couple should also be evenly matched in the more practical aspects, having compatible temperaments, similar energy levels, and shared life-goals and interests. These things add tremendously to happiness in a relationship.

In addition to all this, if a man has a good sense of humor and a steady, cheerful disposition, this is wonderfully encouraging for his wife. Nobody can be “up” all the time, but a man who is characterized by the peace and joy of the Spirit is a real catch. Life is hard, and marriage is hard too. There will be times of sadness and there will be conflict. Because of this, a cheerful, encouraging spouse is a real blessing (Proverbs 16:24; 17:22; 15:30).



HBG: Question: "What should I look for in a Christian girlfriend?"

Answer: The sort of dating relationships that are seen today aren’t mentioned in the Bible. Marriage and betrothal are the only types of romantic relationships seen in Scripture. What this means is that a Christian girlfriend should be, first and foremost, a potential marriage partner. A Christian man should be seeking a woman to spend his life with, not just someone to have fun with. If a man is not ready to get married, he should not be pursuing a Christian girlfriend.

As a man looks for a girlfriend, the most important quality she must possess (as his potential future wife and a person who will have a great deal of influence in his life) is salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ, and a life lived in obedience to Him. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul tells us not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers. If a woman does not have faith in Jesus Christ, a Christian man would be foolish to consider her as a girlfriend and/or as a wife.

That said, just because a woman is a Christian, she is not necessarily a perfect match for any Christian man. It is important to factor in other aspects of being “equally yoked.” For example, similar spiritual goals, doctrinal beliefs and outlook on life are all extremely important considerations. In addition, it is wise to think through more practical things like energy level, common interests, and expectations about family and lifestyle. Many men marry women based on emotional or physical attraction alone, and that can lead to disaster.

The Bible provides some guidelines about the kind of character a man should look for in a Christian girlfriend. A Christian woman will exhibit a spirit of submission to the Lord. The Apostle Paul tells wives they are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). If she is not able to submit to the Lord, she will likely not see the value of submitting to her husband when that time comes. It is important to remember that the character of submission is a spiritual quality, not a personality trait. A sweet personality does not necessarily correspond to a submissive spirit, and neither does an energetic or strong-willed personality necessarily correspond to a willful spirit. A woman will be submissive to the degree she is influenced by God’s Spirit, and she will be influenced by His Spirit to the degree that she loves Him and spends time in His Word.

A Christian woman should benefit and bless her husband. She is to be his helper, according to the earliest biblical precedent set for Adam and Eve. She should be a fit helper for his mission and call. If he is called to be a pastor or a missionary, for example, he should look for a Christian girlfriend who feels the same call. If he feels a strong desire for a large family, he should find a woman who feels the same way. But most of all, according to the call put on all of us to be ambassadors for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), a man should choose a woman who will help, (proverbs 31) and not hinder him in this regard. She should exhibit a commitment to prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:16), encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11), serving others (Hebrews 6:10) and the wisdom that comes from knowing God’s Word (Colossians 3:16). This is the kind of woman that will be truly helpful to a Christian man.

Source; http://oascentral.salemweb.net/RealMedia/ads/click_lx.ads/www.gotquestions.org/questions_relationships.html/L20/851710509/Left1/SalemWeb/GQ-display_SWNHouse/324429_BST_Bread_160_ReadingPlans.jpg/58626f65635646536d49594142756b37?x

14 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Nobody: 10:33pm On Oct 31, 2012
4.Able and willing to provide: The Bible says that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5: cool . Provision doesn’t necessarily mean “bringing in a lot of money.” The issue is whether he takes responsibility for the welfare of his wife and children. It is important for women to grasp the seriousness of this verse. A man that doesn’t want to provide is very hard for a woman to respect, and if a wife struggles to respect her husband, marital troubles will go beyond the material. A woman’s respect for her husband and a man’s love for his wife are interdependent and life-giving to a marriage (Ephesians 5:25-32).

Nice piece, but I didn't see 'boyfriend' in this number. Why? You forgot to include it?

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 11:27pm On Oct 31, 2012
acidosis™:


Nice piece, but I didn't see 'boyfriend' in this number. Why? You forgot to include it?
A boyfriend to us christians is someone u hope for a lifetime with,that's y its not preferable to date wen ur not ready to marry
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Nobody: 11:53pm On Oct 31, 2012
I have all those qualities, yet not xtian.. Imagine..

Hallo Hbg, how have u been?
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 12:01am On Nov 01, 2012
musKeeto: I have all those qualities, yet not xtian.. Imagine..

Hallo Hbg, how have u been?
*headthrobbing* *heartbeatingwildly*

U have all da qualities?So meaning u do value da bible?

#fainted#
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Nobody: 5:02am On Nov 01, 2012
HumbledbYGrace: *headthrobbing* *heartbeatingwildly*

U have all da qualities?So meaning u do value da bible?

#fainted#
Lmao...
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 8:31am On Mar 20, 2013
musKeeto:
Lmao...
you do have the qualities...treat Uj Sizzle with all the above grin
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by seyibrown(f): 2:12pm On Mar 20, 2013
Great piece.
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by MacDaddy01: 2:17pm On Mar 20, 2013
Now I know why many christian Nigerian girls are either weeping because of no husband or cursing their married life.



Goodluck finding A man who is both a saint and a hero. Keep looking for prince charming. Fairytale nonsense

Men that say that they are, are usually frauds. The best men among us are not perfect.

9 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 3:07pm On Mar 20, 2013
MacDaddy01: Now I know why many christian Nigerian girls are either weeping because of no husband or cursing their married life.



Goodluck finding A man who is both a saint and a hero. Keep looking for prince charming. Fairytale nonsense

Men that say that they are, are usually frauds. The best men among us are not perfect.





we are all not perfect but we can't just settle foe every tom, dick and harry
seyibrown: Great piece.
thanks sister
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by MacDaddy01: 3:13pm On Mar 20, 2013
HumbledbYGrace: we are all not perfect but we can't just settle foe every tom, dick and harry

I didnt even comment on the most irritating part. So you are indirectly recommending that my christian girlfriend should not marry me because of religion?


You people just post crap that you dont even know anything about.

Do you know how many successful and happy interreligious marriages exist?

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 3:17pm On Mar 20, 2013
MacDaddy01:

I didnt even comment on the most irritating part. So you are indirectly recommending that my christian girlfriend should not marry me because of religion?


You people just post crap that you dont even know anything about.

Do you know how many successful and happy interreligious marriages exist?
That's up to her to decide if you are tom, or dick or harry.

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by MacDaddy01: 3:34pm On Mar 20, 2013
HumbledbYGrace: That's up to her to decide if you are tom, or dick or harry.


Further complaints;


HumbledbYGrace:
Finally, a Christian boyfriend is one with whom a woman is evenly matched.




You havent read the bible because an evenly matched relationship between men and women is impossible according to scripture;

I CORINTHIANS
11:2-10… Woman created for man.
14:34 Women must be silent in churches.

EPHESIANS
5:22-24 Wives must submit to husbands in everything.

COLOSSIANS
3:18 Wives submit to husbands.

I TIMOTHY
2:11-15 Woman must not have authority – she must be silent. Women can be saved with childbearing.

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 3:57pm On Mar 20, 2013
HumbledbYGrace: Finally, a Christian boyfriend is one with whom a woman is evenly matched. First, in the spiritual sense – a couple’s relationship with God should be the primary factor in any relationship, and they should be matched in that regard. Believers are commanded to marry other believers (2 Corinthians 6:14), so there is no reason to be dating an unbeliever. But a couple should also be evenly matched in the more practical aspects, having compatible temperaments, similar energy levels, and shared life-goals and interests. These things add tremendously to happiness in a relationship

Logicboy...stop reading between the lines please!

Would you marry somebody who you don't share interests with? Someone who would be noisy while praying? IMO I think your girlfriend doesn't really know what she is getting herself into; because by the look of things. After some time you will tell her that she is noisy when she worships or pray in your absence. You will tell her that there are more important things to be done at home when she has to go to church....let's face it!

Your a dictator and I feel for your woman tongue

2 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by MacDaddy01: 4:10pm On Mar 20, 2013
HumbledbYGrace:

Logicboy...stop reading between the lines please!

Would you marry somebody who you don't share interests with? Someone who would be noisy while praying? IMO I think your girlfriend doesn't really know what she is getting herself into; because by the look of things. After some time you will tell her that she is noisy when she worships or pray in your absence. You will tell her that there are more important things to be done at home when she has to go to church....let's face it!

Your a dictator and I feel for your woman tongue



I am not a dictator.........I am a DICKtator.


On a serious note, I dont bother my GF when she prays. She can go to church but she can not drag me.

I live my life as an example and she can follow a better life. My house is extra clean on sunday mornings and there is excellent food on sunday afternoon. When she is in church, she is thinking of coming to eat in my clean house grin


As for you, you will marry a man that feels that it is his god given right to lord over you. Happy married life

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 7:09pm On Mar 20, 2013
MacDaddy01:



I am not a dictator.........I am a DICKtator.


On a serious note, I dont bother my GF when she prays. She can go to church but she can not drag me.

I live my life as an example and she can follow a better life. My house is extra clean on sunday mornings and there is excellent food on sunday afternoon. When she is in church, she is thinking of coming to eat in my clean house grin


As for you, you will marry a man that feels that it is his god given right to lord over you. Happy married life
hahaha...
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Image123(m): 11:53pm On Mar 20, 2013
logicb's girlfriend prays, how rheumantic. Who's deceiving who? satan deceive logicb, logicb deceive girlfriend, girlfriend deceive herself. And all deceivers ultimately end up in the same place, who is deceiving who?

okay okay op, una well done oh.

9 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by MacDaddy01: 1:19am On Mar 21, 2013
Image123: logicb's girlfriend prays, how rheumantic. Who's deceiving who? satan deceive logicb, logicb deceive girlfriend, girlfriend deceive herself. And all deceivers ultimately end up in the same place, who is deceiving who?

okay okay op, una well done oh.


My GF is is a christian like you. You do not know her, yet you insult her just to spite an atheist.


"love thy neighbour" is missing from your bible.


You also got two likes lol

5 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 6:58am On Mar 21, 2013
MacDaddy01:


My GF is is a christian like you. You do not know her, yet you insult her just to spite an atheist.


"love thy neighbour" is missing from your bible.


You also got two likes lol
I just clicked 'like' on the above post grin
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Image123(m): 10:40pm On Mar 21, 2013
MacDaddy01:


My GF is is a christian like you. You do not know her, yet you insult her just to spite an atheist.


"love thy neighbour" is missing from your bible.


You also got two likes lol
logicb i love you. Do you love me?

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by wazobiaforu(m): 6:55am On Mar 22, 2013
Pastor Okotie is available for you and he posseses all of the above. GO AND MARRY HIM AND GET DIVORCE and your title will be - divorcee humblebygrace

Not all that have all those qualities will be good husband at the end,you will be 40 years old and still looking for all that even google will not help you

3 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 9:31am On Mar 22, 2013
wazobia_for_u: Pastor Okotie is available for you and he posseses all of the above. GO AND MARRY HIM AND GET DIVORCE and your title will be - divorcee humblebygrace

Not all that have all those qualities will be good husband at the end,you will be 40 years old and still looking for all that even google will not help you

there are lots of them...you can count yourself out though.

1 Like

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by UyiIredia(m): 11:24am On Mar 22, 2013
@ OP: It is naïve to think that it is only Christians who have only good character albeit that isn't what you are saying. You must realise that there are people of good character who aren't Christians (other religions, deist or atheists). You, of course, should also know that there are Christians of so vile a character.
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 12:02pm On Mar 22, 2013
Uyi Iredia: @ OP: It is naïve to think that it is only Christians who have only good character albeit that isn't what you are saying. You must realise that there are people of good character who aren't Christians (other religions, deist or atheists). You, of course, should also know that there are Christians of so vile a character.

I am a christian....a follower of Christ and a believer of the gospel. I was talking to my fellow christian sisters. Let them speak for themselves dear. In this day and age, we are privilaged to choose the person we want to marry...there is courtship. Where we learn about our other halfs character, there is counselling (don't know if I got the word right) where we learn also about ourselves. I will not talk about an unbeliever, or talk for an unbeliever because I am not ONE. I will not MARRY one, you know, we marry in our own circle.

6 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by UyiIredia(m): 12:57pm On Mar 22, 2013
HumbledbYGrace:

I am a christian....a follower of Christ and a believer of the gospel. I was talking to my fellow christian sisters. Let them speak for themselves dear. In this day and age, we are privilaged to choose the person we want to marry...there is courtship. Where we learn about our other halfs character, there is counselling (don't know if I got the word right) where we learn also about ourselves. I will not talk about an unbeliever, or talk for an unbeliever because I am not ONE. I will not MARRY one, you know, we marry in our own circle.

So if you see a good Muslim man with all the qualities listed you won't take him. I hope you know there are successful inter-religious marriages. Take the first couple of Lagos, BRF & his wife.
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by HumbledbYGrace(f): 2:07pm On Mar 22, 2013
Uyi Iredia:

So if you see a good Muslim man with all the qualities listed you won't take him. I hope you know there are successful inter-religious marriages. Take the first couple of Lagos, BRF & his wife.
I wouldn't even give it a second thought....

They are them and I am me

8 Likes

Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by Ezniteadin: 5:13pm On Mar 27, 2013
When I saw that OP was Female, I conclude she is drawing up the chat for the kind of man she wants. all your points are not enough to describe a true Christain. It is a Life. not drafted on NL, it is deep and You cannot quntify it in just these few lines. Modern Christianity is fraud. it needs these teaching Real Christianity is a life It is taught by the spirit and written by mere admirers like OP
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by salt1: 5:13pm On Mar 27, 2013
Uyi Iredia:

So if you see a good Muslim man with all the qualities listed you won't take him. I hope you know there are successful inter-religious marriages. Take the first couple of Lagos, BRF & his wife.


How can you mix Koran and Bible? Who told you the first couple of Lagos are happy? Are you an insider? I'm not saying that they're not happy, but in marriage, appearance may be widely different from reality.

Which religion will the children practice?
Re: Things To Look For In A Christian Boyfriend/Girlfriend by OkikiOluwa1(m): 5:14pm On Mar 27, 2013
I m a Christian & v those qualities.

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