i need contributions to this post

ok, i met my bf in naija when i travelled last year, judging from the time i spent with him(july -august), he seemed to b a nice guy n really cool. he asked that we b frnds n dat he loves me. After i left Nigeria, the first couple of weeks we really talked on d phone a lot, u kno feeling happy with ourselves. the problem now is that he doesnt call me anymore, expects me to b d one to send mails everytime n all he does is to read n say some mails r borng cos i dnt discuss spicy things. he did not call me on christmas eve but i was awake till it was 12:00 nigerian time to usher him into chrismas day with a phone call. No phone call on new year n no mails at all, yet everytime i call he says how much he misses me, asking when ill come to naija again. As of this moment i called him cos its been a month I called him last( i made the last three phone calls n he none, im a student n dis guy freaking works!) n all he was saying was u kno how naija is , work work work n shit. so u guys tell me pls

Is it really that work work work in naija, do ppl on the average find it hard to call their gfs abroad n is the call rate really expensive. this is my frst r/ship n i dnt kno if not calling ur girl for more than 2 months sometimes ( at least for distance r/ships) is the norm.
im not even expecting him to call on vals day but he ought to kno better, at least phone communication is the main instrument for ppl nt together in one place. question is

Is this guy serious?
What do u think may b going on with him?
Am i expecting too much from him?

The dude is broke and has no money, deal with it. It's his loss, go find someone better lady, someone who loves you and is willing to do whatever it takes to let you know that,

this guy does not sound serious to me. u deserve beta

From your profile I read, is this same guy who have sex you without penetration, just fingering with precum on you a year ago?

Where do you live at? Why don't you visit seeing your guy surprisely? Visit his job if you knew where he work at?

If i was your shoe at age 19 years old today, FORGET ABOUT HIM and focus on school FIRST for 4 years or whatever! Then upon college graduation, go finding a real job yourself to settle down SECOND and finally AT LAST come back checking on him if he still loves you or not!

I am sure your guy will be gone by then!!! He is not into you!!!

eldoublo:

The dude is broke and has no money, deal with it. It's his loss, go find someone better lady, someone who loves you and is willing to do whatever it takes to let you know that,

Relationships doesn't always have to be about money you know, i mean what about if he really cares, give the guy a chance, at least he's not asking you to send him money like some other so called long distance lovers.

uspry1:

From your profile I read, is this same guy who have sex you without penetration, just fingering with precum on you a year ago?

Where do you live at? Why don't you visit seeing your guy surprisely? Visit his job if you knew where he work at?

If i was your shoe at age 19 years old today, FORGET ABOUT HIM and focus on school FIRST for 4 years or whatever! Then upon college graduation, go finding a real job yourself to settle down SECOND and finally AT LAST come back checking on him if he still loves you or not!

I am sure your guy will be gone by then!!! He is not into you!!!

this is not the same guy

The fact is that the guy sees you as a reserve girl. I mean reserve as in an emergency replacement and not all that serious.

There's no excuse for not calling you, call rates are very cheap in Nigeria even with your mobile. I think he's insecure, you needn't waste your time hun.

Ol girl, U r not smelling rats oooo. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles in long distance relationship. The long distance leaves a lot of room for distrust. U just have to take the time and talk to him, let him know wat you expect or expected. This all comes with time.
As for, the rate of calling, I assure u it is expensive. I personally do not expect any of my friends back home to call me, if they do then it is a big honor to me. I do most of the calling. That is not to say that he is right for going two months without giving u a call. However, it all depends on his income. If the guy is struggling to make both ends meet, then making long distance calls will be tghe last thing on his mind. U just have to figure out what his problem is before u pass judgement.

if its true that ginger1 is 19 then i'd say u have no business smelling anything; rats, eagles or elephants.

thnks y'all , i kno i deserve beta  dis guy is prolly not serious. Oh breakng up is something i'd hate to do n y are r/ships so hard? I'll b 20  this yr n staying in a r/ship or handling one really scares me. Do i stop , but then guys r always on ur back  . i  think im going crazy.

4Him:

if its true that ginger1 is 19 then i'd say u have no business smelling anything; rats, eagles or elephants.

is 19 too young to be in a r/ship? well i'll b 20 so that can b considered rite

Uche2nna:

Ol girl, You r not smelling rats oooo. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles in long distance relationship. The long distance leaves a lot of room for distrust. You just have to take the time and talk to him, let him know what you expect or expected. This all comes with time.
As for, the rate of calling, I assure u it is expensive. I personally do not expect any of my friends back home to call me, if they do then it is a big honor to me. I do most of the calling. That is not to say that he is right for going two months without giving u a call. However, it all depends on his income. If the guy is struggling to make both ends meet, then making long distance calls will be tghe last thing on his mind. You just have to figure out what his problem is before u pass judgement.

I understand calling may be expensive, but u kno little things that would make someone happy like calling on christmas or new year ( u kno waiting up till the time its 12 am wherever ur partner is n calling ) he doesnt do that. I was saying ok he didnt call on christmas maybe he will call on new year but then that didnt happen. im gonna let yáll kno if he calls on vals day ( dat i doubt very much), but i'll give him the benefit of a doubt.

I always AlWaYs ALWAYS say that long distance don't work.

The guy is not serious. Stop calling him, face ur studies and move on!

ginger1:

is 19 too young to be in a r/ship? well i'll b 20 so that can b considered rite

To me, 18-22 yr old are too young to get ready for relationship seriously when it comes to study in universities! It can be waited until at senior year to start serious ones as soon as get real job to be settled down, then next step will be getting married. It suppose to be that way!!! Plenty of time for that!!! No rush for that!!!

Lot of young people are failed on relationships! Cannot think right when it comes to study, DANGEROUS!!!

Please so kindly to read the following existing topics to refresh your new next steps---forget about the color, nationality, and major generalizations you heard at below:

7 Reasons Why Females Get Hurt In Relationship
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-94423.0.html

10 Insights You should take steps into serious relationship before you get marry her/him
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-95533.0.html

@ Poster

Just forget bout the dude, he's not serious.

Pray for Gods guardiance,
What kind of job is the guy doin?

Opoki:


What kind of job is the guy doin?

YAHOO YAHOO. . . .LMFAO


@post
the dude is one big liar o. . .

Lmao, very soon he'll have you Western Union him money

He's not even making any effort, Abeg let this lame "relationship" go.

Stories in long distance relationships are all the same whether in real life or in movies!

And if I may ask, what kind of love is that just after a month or less in naija? He love u! he love u!! what does he love? who do he know about you? probarbly said that to get in your pant while u were there and since things didn't go his way, u ma come back here and still dey fool yourself say somebody love you for naija! love ko! love ni! you better face you school than come here dey argue with us whether you old enough or not! if them call you adult you ma go answer!

My interpretation of this "relationship" is it was like a late summer fling. . . school started and you both slowly began parting ways. I suggest you forget about him and move on because he's obviously done the same.

@prince_onx and rebellious

The poster said she had been date him over one year, not one or less month relationship!!! She came visited seeing him in person on July-August last year, she still think about again visit seeing him soon this year, so she seeks for your advice/opinion first.

uspry1:

@prince_onx and rebellious

The poster said she had been date him over one year, not one or less month relationship!!! She came visited seeing him in person on July-August last year, she still think about again visit seeing him soon this year, so she seeks for your advice/opinion first.

No she didn't say so. She saw him in July thru August of 2007 which is like 6 months ago. And no, she never said she was going to see his sorry ass.

Rebellious:

No she didn't say so. She saw him in July through August of 2007 which is like 6 months ago. And no, she never said she was going to see his sorry ass.

i re-read the poster's posting, sorry i thought i read somewhere she said going to see him later. Oops, my bad!

ok thanks u guys for ur input, made me see things more clearly

prince_onx:

Stories in long distance relationships are all the same whether in real life or in movies!

you better face you school than come here dey argue with us whether you old enough or not! if them call you adult you ma go answer!

wasnt tryna argue, was just seeking opinon. nway thnks

@ poster,
i'm quite sure it's not everybody that is good at making calls
but atleast once in a month is not too much
especially now that call rates are so cheap

this guy seems not 2 be serious but i cant completely condern him
until u talk to him about how much u would appreciate his calls and
if after that,he remains indifferent,
then ur guess is as good as mine

hmmmmmmm, borrow ma legs n run as fast as u can.

@topic : INFACT IT'S NOT ONLY RATS! IT'S DOGS AND CATS! - go buy gun ready! he no serious

@Topic
He doesn't seem real abeg
Move on deary and be fast about it.But becareful and take your time before going into another relationship to avoid a repetition of the disgusting scenario

How can U guys all just pass the" condemn him" speech on a guy u dont even know. The guy no serious; the guy na big liar. U guys are drawing all these conclusions from ________