Guitarlife: Don't you get it? She stood before God and man and made a convenant .She swore that she was gonna stand by a man 'in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health till death did them part' . What kind of woman makes a meal of such words.
Was she not aware that things could go awry when she was saying those ?
What am on about is that if she knew quite well that she was gonna skeddadle when and if things hotted up. She shoulda keep her mouth shut.
She could have asked the priest to skip that part and not gone ahead to bellow into the mic when she knew she was just there for the good.
Yeah! What I'm saying is that when she took those vows, she already signed up to die if that was what it would have required to stay in the marriage.
Why don't you read the marriage vows again and then tell me if it's not bondage yes it is. If you can't stand the freaking heat then don't even walk into the oven.
Is that too hard to comprehend ? In conclusion all divorcees are cowards simples especially those who walked out on a marriage cos their lives was at a risk.
They don't have any respect for their words so don't expect me to have any respect for them.

I know you don't really believe the ish you just typed there. Debrief you are on point.

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This going back and forth with these same set of people is pissing me the fck off. Look at how all of you's yes you all no one is exempted, are working hard on derailing this thread?

What a load of crap you all have typed so far. Abeg moderators should lock this thread that hasn't served it's purpose. Mschewwww

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chaircover: guiter please correct me if I am wrong. Are you saying that it is better or debrief to have stayed and died so long as she fulfilled her covenant?

BTW is a convenant one sided? These are the vows that I know oooooo!

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

If someone breaks their vows what can the other party do. Debrief didnt break her vows, she hung on and nearly died in the process

Guiterlife you are not being fair at all

Two wrongs don't make a right. Even if he fails to keep his end of the deal it's not for the woman to judge. The bible say the judgement is of the Lord. It sounds really scary but then these kids running off to marry just because they can afford to pay for a wedding need to see things from the proper perspective.
Now talking as a christian I hope you know God's recipe for any type of misdeamenour is FORGIVENESS.
That was why he chose to hang around even when he knew he was gonna be slaughtered. You see we cannot be sensational and spiritual at the same time.
Did you read the 'in sickness ' part ? So why is it so difficult to admit that the husband did all he did to her cos he was sick.
Which is part of the terms of the contract. Debrief is a lawyer and I bet she knows the marriage vow has been made to cover all loose ends.
So debrief divorced her husband cos he was sick (perhaps mental case). You see how wrong she was don't you ?

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chaircover: ^^^^^ i can see that you have no argument

The man was mentally sick abi? That means anyone can go and do anything and claim insanity.

Its not your fault, If God forbid debrief killed him one night with a pestle, cried insanity, goes to court, is released by the jury and takes over all his assets. . .it would have been ok for her to remarry since the man is dead abi?

I hate to admit but Jenny is right . . . .its a waste of time and the thread should be locked.

I hate to admit but it seems the bookmakers are right after all. 'Truth is bitter' they say.

@ Debrief anoda gud 1 4rm u.
Pls,dont mind some JOBLESS thins,wit their mind set.

No one is locking any thread, I have asked that people ignore some comments, if I who is insulted can do that why won't others do the same?
Some people will always do what they do but I will not let them keep derailing threads with my name on it and make them get locked. I am on Nairaland not for anyone to impress or make any one like me but to share experiences.
If I am attacked I respond constructively, when it comes from some people I ignore because it is the same issue.
If you feel the need to defend me please don't, If they keep insulting and are ignored they go, when they are responded to then its derailed. Please let this issue be, these issues are very important for intending couples, even if 1 person picks from it I am happy.
NOBODY SHOULD SPEAK IN MY DEFENCE, anyone who wants to insult should do so and be ignored by all. Please

maclatunji:

Didn't you read that Johndoe has been married for over two decades and counting?

Thank god for him then.Unfortunately everyone can not tell the same story,he should give them a break. 20 years of marriage,and he talks like this...a good principle is a good principle and if he is a matured person,irrespective of who is dishing out the info,he would have at least acknowledged the wisdom in the post..but unfortunately gray hairs does not represent wisdom. Great men with great marriages are men that know how to stand from the outside and analyze situations, men with patience and verbal restrain..20 years and he still talks like this?

And by the way, those deacons and pastors cheating on their wives have long marriages too...but if yours is perfect glory to god,amen..give others a break,especially when you don't know what they have gone through.People change,we are humans and sometimes we don't see these things coming...and pls don't start with your "prayer changes things and god will guide you" cappings,except you are not Nigerian

Guitarlife: Don't you get it? She stood before God and man and made a convenant .She swore that she was gonna stand by a man 'in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health till death did them part' . What kind of woman makes a meal of such words.
Was she not aware that things could go awry when she was saying those ?
What am on about is that if she knew quite well that she was gonna skeddadle when and if things hotted up. She shoulda keep her mouth shut.
She could have asked the priest to skip that part and not gone ahead to bellow into the mic when she knew she was just there for the good.
Yeah! What I'm saying is that when she took those vows, she already signed up to die if that was what it would have required to stay in the marriage.
Why don't you read the marriage vows again and then tell me if it's not bondage yes it is. If you can't stand the freaking heat then don't even walk into the oven.
Is that too hard to comprehend ? In conclusion all divorcees are cowards simples especially those who walked out on a marriage cos their lives was at a risk.
They don't have any respect for their words so don't expect me to have any respect for them.

Seems you are just a bitter person and you dont make much sense. Who made you the judge over others? What exactly do you know about marriage? I know you claim to be a christian, so haven't you read the conditions for divorce in the bible? Do you know better than Jesus Christ Himself who said "Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication......." and "Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, ......." Infact, there are loads of bible passages that explains that adultery is a basis for divorce. So where did you get your acclaimed knowledge from. Debrief's case was not even adultery alone but was coupled with abuse, for you, she should have died in the marriage. SMH...

Funny enough, you want to prove that you know it all (relationship and marriage) but this thread of yours explains the real weak you. Deal with your weak self before judging others harshly.

https://www.nairaland.com/796329/making-terrible-mistake

Guitarlife- you may decide to judge a post but not the poster and stop attacking people's personality. Now read Debrief's post again and criticize her write-up and leave her personal life out of it.

Chaulay1:

Seems you are just a bitter person and you dont make much sense. Who made you the judge over others? What exactly do you know about marriage? I know you claim to be a christian, so haven't you read the conditions for divorce in the bible? Do you know better than Jesus Christ Himself who said "Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication......." and "Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, ......." Infact, there are loads of bible passages that explains that adultery is a basis for divorce. So where did you get your acclaimed knowledge from. Debrief's case was not even adultery alone but was coupled with abuse, for you, she should have died in the marriage. SMH...

Funny enough, you want to prove that you know it all (relationship and marriage) but this thread of yours explains the real weak you. Deal with your weak self before judging others harshly.

https://www.nairaland.com/796329/making-terrible-mistake

Guitarlife- you may decide to judge a post but not the poster and stop attacking people's personality. Now read Debrief's post again and criticize her write-up and leave her personal life out of it.

Okay here we go again. I guess I have to school you a lil. How many times do I have to educate your likes that you are misinterpreting the scriptures?
When has fornication suddenly become adultery? I know you don't suppose christ made a mistake by mentioning fornication instead of adultery do you ?
I expect now you are suspecting that passage does not make sense right, or possibly the issue had to be with the translators.
Listen dude, you are lucky and today is your day. Take it from me you are about to be emancipated. Write down todays date cos the scale of heresy that you have been caring around for ages is about to the shaken off.
Now answer my question : how can a married person commit fornication ? Does this submission mean that even adultery is not a condition for divorce but only fornication ?

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Okay read this .

Guitarlife: So painful that I am replying with a mobile but I will try my best.
DIVORCE IS NOT PERMITTED AFTER MARRIAGE. The passage most people harp on reads 'except for fornication' mathew 5:32.
Do you mean to tell me Jesus made a mistake that he meant to say adultery but had a slip of tongue and said fornication ?
We need to get some education as christians. It all boils down to the jewish tradition.
The jewish tradition holds marriage in such high esteem so much that even if you were just engaged to be married to a lady.
Note that you had not even gotten married. You were only engaged to severe that engagement you needed a divorce.
That was why Joseph couldn't just walk out on Mary when he found out that she was pregnant although they were not yet married.
Now an adultery could only happen in the case of a married person but for engaged people the term was still fornication if they had sexual relations.
In essence Jesus meant that it was only people who were engaged to be married that were eligible for a divorce and the only reason permitted for you bro to 'divorce' that your petulant fiancee is fornication.
In essence you have no right as a christian to call of a relationship note not marriage now, a relationship unless your fiancee has commited fornication.
Therefore even before going into a relationship we have to be sure it's headed for the altar all things being equal.
Now this is God's undiluted standard by my own limited understanding.
May God grant us all wisdom.

Guitarlife: Okay here we go again. I guess I have to school you a lil. How many times do I have to educate your likes that you are misinterpreting the scriptures?
When has fornication suddenly become adultery? I know you don't suppose christ made a mistake by mentioning fornication instead of adultery do you ?
I expect now you are suspecting that passage does not make sense right, or possibly the issue had to be with the translators.
Listen dude, you are lucky and today is your day. Take it from me you are about to be emancipated. Write down todays date cos the scale of heresy that you have been caring around for ages is about to the shaken off.
Now answer my question : how can a married person commit fornication ? Does this submission mean that even adultery is not a condition for divorce but only fornication ?

The meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. Source: http://206.135.15.32/answers/afornica.html


Nelson New Illustrated Bible Dictionary defines Fornication as:

Sexual relationships outside the bonds of marriage. The technical distinction between fornication and adultery
is that adultery involves married persons while fornication involves at least one person who is unmarried. But the
New Testament often uses the term in a general sense for any unchastity.


Also note the use of WIFE in the bible passages. A WIFE IS NOT THE SAME AS FIANCEE as you claim in your explanation. Being married and being betrothed (now called engaged) are two different things and cannot be used interchangeably. So your explanation is very weak and unbiblical.

So I rest my case. Learn if you want to, the choice is yours!

You dey mind that Jenny? Pop in write 1 line and go back to bed. God dey

i see that people want to continue the thread jenny locked off weeks ago.

anyway madam debrief, jenny and CC how are you - some of us are working hard here trying to bring a hollywood christmas to their daughter, no expenses spared this year o!!

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I ve been trying 2 stay away 4rm dis section becos of some comments & bad advices from some people who r not married or could not hold their marriage.To find a gud spouse, it takes d grace of God, Debrief can testify to that, it is not just all abt what she wrote there, thats why i respect women that strives 2 keep their marriage in d midst of challenges, Our ladies r becoming too exposed nowadays & that is why marriages r nt working & will nt work. Endurance is d key.

bjcole: I ve been trying 2 stay away 4rm dis section becos of some comments & bad advices from some people who r not married or could not hold their marriage.To find a gud spouse, it takes d grace of God, Debrief can testify to that, it is not just all abt what she wrote there, thats why i respect women that strives 2 keep their marriage in d midst of challenges, Our ladies r becoming too exposed nowadays & that is why marriages r nt working & will nt work. Endurance is d key.

I once created a thread to try and see the big picture from all angles and sides. Kindly tell me the things that both sides in a marriage should be willing to endure for the purpose of a successful marriage in your opinion.

bjcole: I ve been trying 2 stay away 4rm dis section becos of some comments & bad advices from some people who r not married or could not hold their marriage.To find a gud spouse, it takes d grace of God, Debrief can testify to that, it is not just all abt what she wrote there, thats why i respect women that strives 2 keep their marriage in d midst of challenges, Our ladies r becoming too exposed nowadays & that is why marriages r nt working & will nt work. Endurance is d key.

Hey guy watch it. You are in danger of being shot. Hwo dare you mention the word 'endurance'. I hope staying less than three years before running away from your marriage qualifies a person to be called an 'endurer' does it ?

Hehehehehe, World peace, Madam CC you bad, why didn't I sell that? Ohhhhhh, anyway next year, world peace it is, more savings for the RR fund

One thing is that when the love is intoxicating us, we are on top of the moon. Nothing else is important.
One can only hope for the best. The thing is making that tough decision . . . should i stay, should i move on etc when the 'best' you were hoping for is absent.

Good points.

maclatunji:

I once created a thread to try and see the big picture from all angles and sides. Kindly tell me the things that both sides in a marriage should be willing to endure for the purpose of a successful marriage in your opinion.

i like d way you put it, in my own opinion, Endurance is also perseverance, both sides in a marriage ve 2 endure everything, u ve to go all way & all lenght to ensure ur marriage works, contd

contd...... 4 a marriage 2 work, i think a lot ve 2 do wit d woman, lack of trust these days & indenpence on d part of women, its very very easy 4 a woman that is so independent 2 walk out of her marriage when its nt working, some dnt even want any headache @ all, its nt wrong 4 a woman 2 be succesful, but she has 2 submit at all times 2 her husband, & that is where d problem lies. There r some few bad men no doubt, but i dnt think a sensible man wil nt want his marriage 2 work, ..... contd

cont..... after all d commitment, i dnt like men dat beat their wives, but hw did it get to that point, if d man was nt like that b4, what says he cannot change, infidelity is major factor 4 divorce, but hw wil a man that was having several girlfriend b4 marriage or a woman with other attachs other than her fiance not be an infidel, endure whatever u ve created 4 urself, but i believe d women ve lots more to do 4 a marriage 2 be successful. thats my thought

^Thank you for making the effort to answer my question. Are you male or female by the way? I am getting your point but I hope you realise that there are many times that one of the parties in a marriage is on the edge of completely "losing it", more often than not it is the wife.

Don't get me wrong, they may have contributed to their own predicament for several reasons such as looking at the less important things like only material wealth or being left with little choice after getting pregnant out of wedlock and trying to hide from society's scorn through marriage and so on.

Irrespective of the circumstance that leads to such a dire situation, don't you think it's better for the one in desperate condition should be allowed to leave without rancour to preserve their sanity and maybe life?

chaircover:
I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking other men/women; from this day forward until death do us part.

Mrs CC, sorry I had to include the blue part, which is mostly ignored by married couple.

Nice thread debrief, this is such good advice to singles looking to get married ve sent the link to my single Sis n friends ?

On the negative comments on this thread I think what they don't like is the beginning part. That's wats derailing ur thread.

debrief08: Somehow a lot of single friends seem to like getting my point of view on issues around relationships and marriage. I don't know why, funny enough they send their friends who also send other friends and I have joked about starting to charge them.

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What else do you expect from a muzzy? Need I say more?

maclatunji:

I know you don't really believe the ish you just typed there. Debrief you are on point.

@Guitarlife

They don't get it probably because they don't want to . At some level they understand.

We will always fight the good fight.

I see that our resident witch (iya aje) has become a self appointed moderator giving orders left and right, so sad.