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Everywoman's Desperate Zone by sirwilli(m): 4:16am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Every woman's desperate zone.. By Funke When a woman thinks her biological clock is ticking, she is vulnerable. When she begins to set wedding dates between one birthday and the next, she is easy prey. When all she has achieved and is achieving pale into insignificance beside her desire to ‘settle down’, that is when she becomes a plaything in the hands of men. She is finally in that place called the desperate zone. Here, she can no longer see a simple friendship for what it is. She reads meaning into everything her boyfriend says even when the guy can’t remember what he said or when he said it. Every man who winks or smiles at her is a prospective husband. She attends every singles meeting in her church and every church, believing Mr Right is hidden in next week’s singles summit or at worst at the end of the year ‘love feast for singles’. She watches out for such themes as ‘ I must marry this year’ on church posters. She is obsessed, totally desperate. She is at that point where she feels incomplete, and that is putting it mildly. Most women actually at this point feel like failures. They feel all the witches and wizards in their villages are behind the problem. The evil ones have covered their faces with evil veil or caged their prospective husbands. That could be true and it may be far off the mark. I have learnt not to tell a desperate 37 or 40 year old woman searching for a husband that I know how she feels. It just does not work. What further compounds the troubles of the 40-year-old desperate sister is the army of marauding opportunist males who know what she wants, dangle it in front of her nose, do what they wanna do and move on, leaving her bitter and more desperate. It’s awful and men like that need instant justice, if you ask me. But since you didn’t, let’s move on. So, a man meets a woman in her late 30s, beautiful, stylish, great job, independent and single. Her guard down, she let it slip that she is looking forward to becoming a wife and mum now that her career is at a cruising altitude. He smacks his lips and sinks his teeth into her. He knows he will not marry her or even allow his seeds get anywhere near her womb but he still strings her along, probably waste another one year she can ill afford. When he has had his fill, he discards her like used tissue paper and moves on. Another one comes along and goes as far as introducing her to his family, and then zooms of just when she thinks they have something going. She tries a younger man, lets him use her cars which he also deploys to taking his sweet 16s to the movies. He worships her . She keeps the juice flowing and when he’s done sucking the juice out of her orange, he throws her away. Isn’t that what you do when you are done with an orange? Truth is, a single-and- desperately-searchi ng- senior- babe goes through so much. Her self esteem is left battered. The men walking through her life leave her damaged. And for as long as she is determined to settle-down-by-fire-or-by-force, she’s putty, easy prey and vulnerable. The predators will continue to mill around her and milk her. Yes, getting married is good. Marriage itself is a good thing once you get the bone of your bones but if you are unlucky to end up with someone else’s bone stuck in your throat, you will gasp all the way to your grave or into a wheel chair. There is nothing wrong in wanting a man by your side, in your bed, one you can call your own with a license to prove it and a Certificate of Occupancy for good measure but if you buy the wrong property, you cannot occupy it or you do so at the risk of broken life or limbs or both. And that is why every mature babe should avoid that desperate zone. It is in every woman’s path. Some get married before they get there, others must pass through it. So if you must, make sure you happen to the desperate zone, don’t let it happen to you. In other words, take charge because at the end of the day, it is your life. When you take a wrong turn in the road, always remember that you are in the driver’s seat. You can stop and mope and you can choose to turn and make a fresh start. Do not allow men to turn you into a ping pong ball, a pawn on their chess board, a topic over their evening beer. Okay, I admit that it is easier said than done, especially when menopause is staring you in the face. But never ever forget that the same process that gets you pregnant is the same one that gets you HIV. Ah, you didn’t think of that? There you have it. Don’t get so desperate as to get sucked in into having unprotected sex with every man who comes your way just because you want to beat your biological clock. You may be signing your death warrant. Resist the temptation to think each man that comes along is the one you’d been waiting for. You may even decide to make do with the chicken since you couldn’t find the pigeon but never lose sight of the fact that it is your choice, your life. A little slip can have you careering into disaster. Tell yourself constantly that this is just a phase and if you have made it this far, even this phase will pass. Beyond this cloud is a silver lining. Do not let these men take advantage of you. You actually should turn the table and use them, if you get my drift. Now, if you wake up one morning vomiting and hating your favourite perfume ( I still can’t stand the one I wore on my wedding day till today), you should just waltz through that desperate zone. Don’t spend a minute longer. If the man responsible for your thickening waist decides to disgrace his father by denying responsibility, just shake your head and sing; It shall be permanent What the Lord has done for me It shall be permanent. Don’t lose any sleep. Concentrate on your pregnancy and start shopping like crazy. Buy the best kaftans and sexiest flowing tops. He is a coward who didn’t learn anything his mother taught him. We all should be ashamed of him because one day, like a prodigal son, he’ll return with his stupid tail in between his legs to ask for his son or come claim his daughter or twins when they become stars. So thank God who did not let you labour in vain. Carry your pregnancy with pride and let him worry about his cowardice . That child is essentially yours, a sign that God still answers prayers. And you know God does not share His glory with anybody. Now, that you can no longer be called unfruitful vine, why should your blood pressure not be normal? The worst thing you can do when a coward impregnates you is not appreciating God’s favour, by fixating on the shivering bloke. Your baby will be born with all his features, bald head, sexy eyes, dimples and that little dark birth mark on his shoulder will be right where the whole world can see it on your baby. Trust me. Such babies always arrive with their DNA certificates. 5 Likes |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 6:34am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Hmmmm |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by dazz661(f): 8:30am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Very nice write up, & very true. I've seen people get marrried due to pressure & desperation. Itz not only women that can be in desperate zones, men too! |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by sirwilli(m): 8:59am On Nov 26, 2012 |
@dazz661 do u think men do and what are your reason |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by 190theclown: 9:24am On Nov 26, 2012 |
I'm desperate someone come marry me |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 9:42am On Nov 26, 2012 |
190-the-clown:my grandma has been single for 37years |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 10:06am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: my grandma has been single for 37yearsBadt girl |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 10:39am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:is she not a woman? |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 10:40am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: is she not a woman?hmmm. She is but still....... |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by youngdady: 10:55am On Nov 26, 2012 |
I think we owe it to ourselves as men to be responsible. I once had this babe willing to do anything to get me to marry her, I knew it wouldn't work cos she's based in US and I wasn't ready to quit my job. She did everything but offer me her life. I didn't let her go too far before telling her the gospel truth, even warned her about the need to be sure of a man's intention before getting involved with him. Pls, do not use anyone (opposite sex in particular) for your selfish end, karma is real. 2 Likes |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:02am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:okay let me offer myself then |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:08am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: okay let me offer myself thenhe won't accept |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:15am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:but I'm not that ugly I'm sure even a desparate man can take me |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:29am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: but I'm not that ugly I'm sure even a desparate man can take meWell you are not white are you? That's the only condition he will take you |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:34am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:is he white himself? |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:36am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: is he white himself?Racist (on NL only) against his own colour |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:38am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:hahaha so I guess he is not desparate yet |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:40am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: hahaha so I guess he is not desparate yetWell if you say so |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:45am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:now tht I'm desparate will u marry me I'm not good looking but I can cook and clean and I never cheat |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:48am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: now tht I'm desparate will u marry me I'm not good looking but I can cook and clean and I never cheatYes I will. Send me you adress and I will come and pay your brideprice tomorrow |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 11:52am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44:okay,my father is a retired postman so all our financial burdens will be put on u ...see u tomorrow my future husband |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by 190theclown: 11:56am On Nov 26, 2012 |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Mynd44: 11:58am On Nov 26, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: okay,my father is a retired postman so all our financial burdens will be put on u ...see u tomorrow my future husbandokay, no problem |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 12:00pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
190-the-clown:u took too long, I ws really waiting for u |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Nobody: 12:01pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
Mynd_44: |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by Oahray: 2:03pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
Lolz |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by sirwilli(m): 3:52pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
youngdady: I think we owe it to ourselves as men to be responsible. I once had this babe willing to do anything to get me to marry her, I knew it wouldn't work cos she's based in US and I wasn't ready to quit my job. She did everything but offer me her life. I didn't let her go too far before telling her the gospel truth, even warned her about the need to be sure of a man's intention before getting involved with him.nice of you Bros |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by bknight: 4:09pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
Whew! |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by emilyone(f): 5:39pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
God bless you poster, a word is enough for the wise!!! |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by sirwilli(m): 6:13pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
emilyone: God bless you poster, a word is enough for the wise!!!Thanks dear |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by dmcdad: 6:38pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
190-the-clown: Lol... Do u mean a Nigerian gurl? |
Re: Everywoman's Desperate Zone by dmcdad: 6:42pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
dazz661: Very nice write up, & very true. I've seen people get marrried due to pressure & desperation. Itz not only women that can be in desperate zones, men too! Desperate men? Like 4 real Well even if there exist men who are desperate, I assert that the ratio of desperate men to none desperate men can be 1:99 or even less.. |
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