7 Things your Muslim wife won’t tell you

Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years. One minute she’s perfectly fine, the next, she’s crying like a baby. She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied. After several years of marriage (and counseling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.

1. Above all, She Wants Your love

When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.

And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.

And the vicious cycle repeats itself.

Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.

That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.

And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.

2. She’s Bored

It’s the same thing every day.

Week in and week out.

Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.

She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.

Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.

And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.

So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break.

Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.

Just do something every now and then to break the monotony.

3. She Wants to be Complimented

Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.

Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals. But she does. And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:

Caring for the kids.
Working or going to school.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. A simple “thank you” is a good start.

4. She’s Insanely Jealous

There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife. Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.

Don’t compare her to some female movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way.

Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.

Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.

5. She Wants You to Help Her become A Better Muslimah

I can’t stress enough the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.

And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.

Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).

Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?

But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.

6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard

It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true.

Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” – Sahih Bukhari.

So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you.

But very often, you brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue.

Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even.

Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.

Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.

Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.

7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You

Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun.

They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.

Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.

The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her.

Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.
See? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?

http://muslimvillage.com/2012/12/11/32804/7-things-your-muslim-wife-wont-tell-you/

^Nice! I am waiting for part 2- 700 things your Muslim husband won't tell you.

maclatunji: ^Nice! I am waiting for part 2- 700 things your Muslim husband won't tell you.

lol.. @tbaba,jazaakallahu khayr.

maclatunji: ^Nice! I am waiting for part 2- 700 things your Muslim husband won't tell you.

Actually i think men are less complicated.. Once a man feels respected. The rest is easy.

Dis has got 2 b d most ridiculous post I ve read. Aside 4m no5 -becoming a beta muslim; all odas apply 2 any woman!!!!

She sure won't tell her husband ∂α̇̇̇†̥ he is damned boring n ugly

Okay ooo.

Your muslim wife? What is the difference between a muslim wife and the rest emotionally or phycologically for you to highlight muslim wives alone, OP?

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See temptation
This thing for Frontpage, if I comment now dem go ban me till 2099.
Islam for Muslim
Frontpage for Everyone

Good write-up

Poster , what yur saying applies to all wives at home, not just Muslim wife o.... How many times in a day, have u ever seen a happy married woman? Can u count them? It's not as if , I castigating the men, and it's not like am a lesbian, but I deeply care for people especially women.. The good ones, do so much in their homes , but they're not appreciated , just a very few that are happy... A handful of married women are not happy, if u r observant and honest... It's good to be married but marry selflessly... Husbands make yur wife happy, and wives make yur husband happy..so that the home will be at peace... There is enough chaos out there , for one to battle with... How much more the home, u intend to build and make it last.

Sapphire86: Dis has got 2 b d most ridiculous post I ve read. Aside 4m no5 -becoming a beta muslim; all odas apply 2 any woman!!!!

Thank you very much for speaking my mind

Why is dis on the frontpage? Is it because.........

No need attracting unnecessary ban. Over and out!

Hmmm....No wonder...

Nice 1 Tbaba,jazakAllahu khair.just got married and i can relate to some of this things.atimes with women one get confused with what they really want.no 1 is key cos wt most women earning her RESPECT is directly proportional the LOVE you shower on her,If u love her and u r sincere wt her all other things will fall into play.

So is this thread only for muslims or what?

ehhhheeen, good, but all apply to women everywhere. No be so?

Please is this for muslim women only, or for all the women?

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ignis: Please is this for muslim women only, or for all the women?

It is up to you to decide. OP believes it applies to Muslim women, it is up to you to decide if it applies to other women as well.

@victorian . The more reason we all have to be patient , understanding, humble , fear of God e.t.c.

gud right up am impressed though am a christian

8.. She wants to have sex: She feels very shy to let you know that she's Hot...
9.. She always wants to ***ok let me stop here** before them go ban me till 31st century...

Thank u NL for bringing this to the frontpage. We muslims are now feeling along. MashAllah.

na which xtain man go marry muslin woman