®~^Sly^~®:

It depends. . .

If u have the money to do it big. . then whats stoppin u

But if u don't have what it takes to do it in a ''flamboyant'' way, Then stay on your class and do it the way u can afford

Just Make sure u don't run into debt at the end of the day. . .

What if the person who does not want big lavish wedding has the money but does not want to "waste" it on such a grand scale but other party wants it big?

asking this question is like asking me to BUY a 1990 brand of honda(halla) while having more than enough to purchase a 2005 brand of honda (end of discussion) or better still telling me to buy a 5k worth of NOKIA phone when i can readily afford something in the range of 60k

How Necessary Are Big Weddings? for me , LET YOUR POCKET DECIDE.

Beyond the wedding (elaborate or not), the day after the wedding is most important, when the musicians are gone, the MC, the new in laws, your friends, well wishers, your parents; they are all gone and you are left all alone, face to face with the one you said "I do" to. That is the main issue.

Beyond the wedding day, I think the marriage is more important. What is the essence of an earth shaking wedding ceremony with a marriage crashing few months or years down the road. It's a shame.

How Necessary Are Big Weddings? It's not a sin but it's definitely a weight. We can do without it. The marriage is more important.

When i plan ma wedding - its a celebration for us and no one else.

If i dont wanna change ma clothes etc - i will make sure its a day we enjoy and thats all that matters.

tRoOE:

I like my man spending dough on me and I will surely do the same for him
My wedding got to be big since am the first daughter , and all wedding that takes place in my family are also big and my party has to top anyone that got married before me.

That's my day and i want everything my way

Money talks

I guess I'm amongst the lucky ones then. I wedded my wife (the last girl amongst her 5 sisters) the same day her immediate elder sister wedded her own husband. My inlaws insisted it was gonna be an elaborate wedding whether we (the other guy and myself) like it or not. The mother who was also for the out of town wedding told me and I quote: "When you get married and your last two girls gets married (after ther elderly ones) on the same day, then you'll understand"

I had a not-so-elaborate wedding in mind but and so was the other guy. My own decision was due majorly to the size of my pocket but the other guy was not just a loud person and he was well to do.

Well, finally, my inlaws made a serious contribution (>70%) towards the whole thing. But when I look back now, I think all the stress and expenses were worth it if you ask me.

But the trick is to know the size of your pocket.

What if the person who does not want big lavish wedding has the money but does not want to "waste" it on such a grand scale but other party wants it big?

Money is power bro. . . .

Since he has the money and doesn't feel like making a ''flamboyant'' wedding!
I see no problem in this, As long as the other party is convinced!!
Diff. strokes for diff folks. . .

@post
not very

some people believe in big wedding not because they have d money but 2 let people know who they are,to be frank,i dont see any reason of doing elaborate wedding,make it simple and enjoy urself there after.

some people believe in big wedding   not because they have d money but 2 let people know who they are,to be frank,i dont see any reason of doing elaborate wedding,make it simple and enjoy urself there after.

there is no need of doing elaborate wedding when u dont have d money,d day after wedding is d very important so make it simple and enjoy urself thereafter.

Not necessary to have big wedding! I rather small simple wedding at least between 25-100 people at church or outside beautiful scenic place filling with visually equipped(i mean videographers and photographers) as well as sign language interpreting provided with deaf choir singing in sing language.

In my previous marriage, I never been wedded in a church. Done in a small private family-only wedding right at my parent's house with family friend ordained pastor and unsigned marriage certificate my previous husband and I paid for. There were only 15 family members/relatives invited to attend including potluck wedding reception.

I wore my silk-laced blue-sky prom dress from secondary school that fit me well despite of my 7-month pregnant (to people i look like 3-months pregnant---very small frame petite). My previous husband wore navy blue church suit. It was beautiful ceremony I ever had before my first child was born. That was 20 years ago!

well im just a young graduate , an ascociate degree and i belive in truth and its importance well there are a lot of nigerian men there men just like like dogs have to groomed into what what u like .have a nice search.

runbitten:

well im just a young graduate , an ascociate degree and i believe in truth and its importance well there are a lot of nigerian men there men just like like dogs have to groomed into what what u like .have a nice search.

Lol. . . . .ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski

I will get a hall that close 9pm latest, hire 100 chairs,50 tables, spoons x100, plates x100 and 100 invites
if your name is not on it sorry o you can stand in the corner

on my way home after 9pm I will call the council/police to report some noisy youths disturbing the neighbourhood

_{that's if I am in charge}

"ANYTHING WORTH DOING ,IS WORTH DOING WELL" that's if u have money to make it elaborate as much as u want it to be on agreement of both parties, nothing wrong with it my dear, but guess sometimes people tend to impress people by going beyound their limmit and budget,even end up borrowwing to make it loud AND AT THE END WILL GO BACK HOME TO SOAK GARRI.

Me i go cut my coat according to my size., but if over to get dey worry me/my guy , hmmmmmmmmm na lagos come chop oooooooooooo.

if i may ask evryone that has contributed to this thread a simple question: what brand of phone do you use ? arent there smaller phones in the market with the same or better facilities than the one you possess? why opt for that brand? if you ask me 80 % of people that opt for below average weddings do that basically because of finance issues or they do not have friends. besides there is a level we get to in life and certain things must have their boundary.

an important point that was highlighted was that the size of the wedding does not determine the durability or how long the wedding will last, in the same way[b] the cheapness of the wedding does not guarantee that either[/b].

so if you ve got it , FLAUNT IT , except of course its a decision by the parties involved to keep it simple.

kalmebad:

"ANYTHING WORTH DOING ,IS WORTH DOING WELL" that's if u have money to make it elaborate as much as u want it to be on agreement of both parties, nothing wrong with it my dear, but guess sometimes people tend to impress people by going beyound their limmit and budget,even end up borrowwing to make it loud AND AT THE END WILL GO BACK HOME TO SOAK GARRI.

Me i go cut my coat according to my size., but if over to get dey worry me/my guy , hmmmmmmmmm na lagos come chop oooooooooooo.

If you look at it properly unless you are super rich then there is no way you can do it better for 3000 as you would for 50-100  people no way.

For 50 people you can provide a proper 3 course meal ,good champagne and wine,nice favours and  a smooth quiet non chaotic atmosphere in a small good looking reception.

When you have 3k people you are forced to use an open area most of the time ,serve cheap drinks,sit under a canope ,chaos galore  and i highly doubt you can provide a 3 course meal for them and more then some cheap favours.

For you to do the same quality for 50 people as you would for 3k would cost you such a fortune you must be stinking rich.

my two cent contribution goes like this '' Do it the way you and your partner has agreed that it should be done wether its big or small as long as you guys can afford it, but please never never you go borrowing to make it that way, cos it aint just gonna be dat way after the wedding'' A WEDDING WETHER BIG OR SMALL DOES NOT DETERMINE THAT IT WILL LAST OR NOT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS WHAT FOLLOWS AFTER THE WEDDING,

my thoughts on this issue

the ijebus are well known for their elaborate parties and i really do not know why i should be an exception

of course, i will bring  buses from lagos to charter all the people in my village to my wedding

there must be assorted meals including ifokore. 

definately, i would want the Awujale of Iijebuland to be present there.

for sure, i will make sure that there are different types and colours of aso-ebi that day. a different one for my friends from high school,  a different one for my friends from uni  , a different one for the friends i made during nysc  ,  not forgetting the aso-ebi for my mother's friends , my church youth members  , my extended family  , my siblings, i can go on and on  ,

what could be beha than customised drinks on the table .

Ayo Balogun will perform at my engagement/introduction NIGHT PARTY , either KSA or Ayefele will be at the Wedding reception.

the street leading to father's house must be blocked - people must know say ''funkybaby'' dey wed. 

i will most definately do these things (and more) at my wedding except my husband-to-be is seriously against it.    (i will not like to start our marital life on a arguementative note by going against his opinion)  , and if he inisists on a small wedding, i will accept but he must definately make it up to me in another way ( maybe during the christening of our first child  or during my 30th birthday party) 

just my personal thoughts

funkybaby:

my thoughts on this issue

the ijebus are well known for their elaborate parties and i really do not know why i should be an exception

of course, i will bring buses from lagos to charter all the people in my village to my wedding

there must be assorted meals including ifokore.

definately, i would want the Awujale of Iijebuland to be present there.

for sure, i will make sure that there are different types and colours of aso-ebi that day. a different one for my friends from high school, a different one for my friends from uni , a different one for the friends i made during nysc , not forgetting the aso-ebi for my mother's friends , my church youth members , my extended family , my siblings, i can go on and on ,

what could be beha than customised drinks on the table .

Ayo Balogun will perform at my engagement/introduction NIGHT PARTY , either KSA or Ayefele will be at the Wedding reception.

the street leading to father's house must be blocked - people must know say ''funkybaby'' dey wed.

i will most definately do these things (and more) at my wedding except my husband-to-be is seriously against it. (i will not like to start our marital life on a arguementative note by going against his opinion) , and if he inisists on a small wedding, i will accept but he must definately make it up to me in another way ( maybe during the christening of our first child or during my 30th birthday party)

just my personal thoughts

Well you can reach a compromise maybe 200 guests or something.Because really to start a marriage on a feeling he is indebted to you is also quite wrong.

Chances are if he is against a huge wedding he will be against an elaborate 30th or whatever.

If compromise is not possible say on family principles then explain this to him.But in such a case be prepared to fund it yourself.There is nothing worse then asking someone to go against their principles and then pay for it!

Its something very painful.Imagine if tomorrow he decides to buy himself a rolex watch with all his savings and then he demands you pay part of it too so he can look flashy.

Remember each family has its own upbringing and its important to compromise and not make the relationship seems 1 side.If you decide to marry someone with different views on things then this is essential ,otherwise eventually even crayfish go scatter!

banni:

Well you can reach a compromise maybe 200 guests or something.Because really to start a marriage on a feeling he is indebted to you is also quite wrong.

Chances are if he is against a huge wedding he will be against an elaborate 30th or whatever.

If compromise is not possible say on family principles then explain this to him.But in such a case be prepared to fund it yourself.There is nothing worse then asking someone to go against their principles and then pay for it!

Its something very painful.Imagine if tomorrow he decides to buy himself a rolex watch with all his savings and then he demands you pay part of it too so he can look flashy.

Remember each family has its own upbringing and its important to compromise and not make the relationship seems 1 side.If you decide to marry someone with different views on things then this is essential ,otherwise eventually even crayfish go scatter!

why should he feel that he is indebted to me

i aint ibo oh! it is in the ibo culture that the man foots all the expenses including in some cases the cost of the attire that the bride's parents will wear to the occassion.

he wont do elaborate wedding ?? i can make do with that !

but he will have do elaborate baby christening or 30th or 40th birthday bash for me.

he just has to do one oh !!

@funkybaby.

No be by force my sista

If you want something then buy or pay for it yourself this is the 21st century.

This is not common intrest things like family car,house,food or kids which both need to split the burden.

This is something that you can live without but want .So pay for it.If I see a rolex I will not run to my wife shouting "wife buy am or i go vex".

I will discuss with her and tell her how much I want it and if it does not burden our must do expenses then why not if I want it so much.Buy I will even feel bad if I make her pay a naira for it because it was something I wanted not her.

It depends on what you call "big''. I'm sure you imply the finances involved in the ceremony: clothes, food et drinks, cake, reception venue, music, wedding dress for the woman, suit for the guy, photographs etc. A couple might spend 400k and another 1million and another 2-3million. It depends but I want to assure you that there is no small wedding. The minimum amount that you can spend for any wedding will be about 200k. So 'big' wedding is relative. I watched E entertainment recently and I was appalled when I heard that a couple spent $1million on their wedding. Sometimes, it's not just because you want to throw a big party but you just want to have a memorable day with as many friends and family to join in celebrating your union. What I don't subscribe to however, is excesses. One other very important factor that should be considered is 'your purse'. Don't go into debts simply because you want to throw a big wedding party.

joice:

It depends on what you call "big''. I'm sure you imply the finances involved in the ceremony: clothes, food et drinks, cake, reception venue, music, wedding dress for the woman, suit for the guy, photographs etc. A couple might spend 400k and another 1million and another 2-3million. It depends but I want to assure you that there is no small wedding. The minimum amount that you can spend for any wedding will be about 200k. So 'big' wedding is relative. I watched E entertainment recently and I was appalled when I heard that a couple spent $1million on their wedding. Sometimes, it's not just because you want to throw a big party but you just want to have a memorable day with as many friends and family to join in celebrating your union. What I don't subscribe to however, is excesses. One other very important factor that should be considered is 'your purse'. Don't go into debts simply because you want to throw a big wedding party.

If you plan opening the place to all forget 200k thats venue and DJ cost alone.

by the way, I noticed people always omit talking about the honeymoon.Is it because the man is always expected to pay for it and they are scared of mentioning it since he is already been skinned for the girl's wedding

banni:

@funkybaby.

No be by force my sista

If you want something then buy or pay for it yourself this is the 21st century.

This is not common intrest things like family car,house,food or kids which both need to split the burden.
[b]
This is something that you can live without but want .So pay for it.If I see a rolex I will not run to my wife shouting "wife buy am or i go vex".[/b]I will discuss with her and tell her how much I want it and if it does not burden our must do expenses then why not if I want it so much.Buy I will even feel bad if I make her pay a naira for it because it was something I wanted not her.

Broda, Hey! Relax ! Dont get things wrong here and don't change the issue at hand to ''must it be the man that must pay for everything?''

What i mean by my husband ''doing'' any elaborate party for me is not in financial terms. what i need most is his approval and moral support.

I will not dare to do anything without my husband's approval. There is a proverb in yoruba - ''oko ni olori aya'' - which means the man is the head. So if he is totally against it, i will stick to his decision although i will definately find ways of convincing him to reason with me.

But wait, even if he sponsors the elaborate event nko??   wetin dey there?? shebi, he is my husband and the father of my kids!!   if he comes crying to me that he wants a rolex, why not, i will buy it for him and even a rolls royce sef, if i have the means.  

funkybaby:

Broda, Hey! Relax ! Dont get things wrong here and don't change the issue at hand to ''must it be the man that must pay for everything?''

What i mean by my husband ''doing'' any elaborate party for me is not in financial terms. what i need most is his approval and moral support.

I will not dare to do anything without my husband's approval. There is a proverb in yoruba - ''oko ni olori aya'' - which means the man is the head. So if he is totally against it, i will stick to his decision although i will definately find ways of convincing him to reason with me.

But wait, even if he sponsors the elaborate event nko?? wetin dey there?? shebi, he is my husband and the father of my kids!! if he comes crying to me that he wants a rolex, why not, i will buy it for him and even a rolls royce sef, if i have the means.

tì yanu!

Rolls royce na wa

funkybaby:

Broda, Hey! Relax ! Dont get things wrong here and don't change the issue at hand to ''must it be the man that must pay for everything?''

What i mean by my husband ''doing'' any elaborate party for me is not in financial terms. what i need most is his approval and moral support.

I will not dare to do anything without my husband's approval. There is a proverb in yoruba - ''oko ni olori aya'' - which means the man is the head. So if he is totally against it, i will stick to his decision although i will definately find ways of convincing him to reason with me.

But wait, even if he sponsors the elaborate event nko?? wetin dey there?? shebi, he is my husband and the father of my kids!! if he comes crying to me that he wants a rolex, why not, i will buy it for him and even a rolls royce sef, if i have the means.

And my sista i respect you well well.

Many of our Nigerian girls will insist not only the man do wedding with 3000 people ,jump with train and get drummers but make they carry bible for head and swear his pastor nah fool and her own nah prophet.

You be good girl and enlightened Nigerian who want make the marriage happy even if nah to compromise.God bless you my sista

I said it once and I will everly say it, as long as the parents are pushing me to get married, I will have to give them a list of conditions,

They are funding and it has to be a HUGE wedding, as long as one can afford it, you cant tell the person how to spend money on such a memorable event,

So book the muson center for the reception, Tafawa balewa sqr for the traditional wedding already!! I just cant wait ,