gentleaura:

I said it once and I will everly say it, as long as the parents are pushing me to get married, I will have to give them a list of conditions,

They are funding and it has to be a HUGE wedding, as long as one can afford it, you can't tell the person how to spend money on such a memorable event,

So book the muson center for the reception, Tafawa balewa sqr for the traditional wedding already!! I just can't wait ,

You be man and you dey demand say it must be huge and they fund it because you read say nah woman's family dey pay?

Wait till you jam Igbo woman and you go know say muson center dey cost well well.

No be all cultures the woman's family funds so watch out haha.

But yes like i posted before i agree on one thing there.If the man or woman is pushing for a big wedding then they should simply fund it.Don't ask someone who does not believe in big weddings to spent its stepping on their principles.The mere fact they agreed to it despite their own wishes is enough sacrifice.

banni:

You be man and you dey demand say it must be huge and they fund it because you read say nah woman's family dey pay?

Wait till you jam Igbo woman and you go know say muson center dey cost well well.

No be all cultures the woman's family funds so watch out haha.

But yes like i posted before i agree on one thing there.If the man or woman is pushing for a big wedding then they should simply fund it.Don't ask someone who does not believe in big weddings to spent its stepping on their principles.The mere fact they agreed to it despite their own wishes is enough sacrifice.

Ooh no man, I am talking about my family, Not the woman's family ,

Not so necessary. However, I would settle for something with taste and class.

hmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,after seeing this thread grow to as much as 5 pages I feel its time to contribute without reading through the thread so as not to be biased or confused

The issue of weddings is a communal thingy between both spouses and goes a long way to show the kind of person being married into a family?different people are of different opinions about how their marriage ceremony should be?while its okay in the african traditional style to have a big celebration. . .the norm in advanced societies is to keep it as quiet as possible with a touch of poise and elegance.No thanks to print media for wanting to hype any wedding amongst celebs and publish for the common man and even the average citizen to use a s a leverage for their own wedding.
Wayne Rooneys' fiancee recently decided that she wasnt going to allow wanynes extended family attend their wedding this summer only his close family that includes his parents and brothers?even though the rights of the wedding are being sold for millions of pounds to be aired

Basically,the way I see it,weddings are a thing of the mind and based on mutual consent? but for me being who I am,am gonna give T.I the best wedding ceremony ever?shes gonna cry out loud on that day,not for sorrow mate but for joy of how well its been.

If you read the posts you see that the majority are aginst huge weddings but yet so few have them on a small scale.

This is largely due to outside influence and I think in a generation time when we have our daughters and sons wedding we will be more acceptable to their views and comments compared to our families of today.

So while hope might be lost for most of us but a selected few , the future looks bright as long as we carry our views to our children.

No matter what amount has been spent on the ceremony, if the husband and wife are truly in love, it will be memorable for each guest who is attendance. In other words, if I have an elaborate wedding, it needs to be matched with elaborate love.

The bigger the bride's ass, the bigger the wedding ought to be. una get my logic?

Is it really true that in d yoruba culture, d brides' family sponsors d wedding? it's my second time of hearing that. Is it true? If true, then whats d role of d grooms' family?

I would say its a bloody waste of good well earned money. Nothing wrong in celebrating weddings or anything for that matter. But some people have a habit of flaunting money in the midst of poverty. So I would say moderation does make sense.

babyvic:

Is it really true that in d yoruba culture, d brides' family sponsors d wedding? it's my second time of hearing that. Is it true? If true, then whats d role of d grooms' family?

The most expensive part of a wedding is the reception and in majority of Nigerian cultures this largely falls on the bride's family simply because this part is English culture we picked up.Remember white wedding and reception is imported culture.


http://www.weddinghelpline.com/whopays.htm

As you can see most falls on the bride's family.Of course, this is certainly not a rule and applies to not all cultures

I once attended a wedding December 2006. Being an freelance expert in stage management, i could estimate how much the reception cost in lagos. When i started hitting millions, My head started spinning. I prodded further, and - you guess it, they started their honeymoon broke.

Every wedding that's large is bound to have some wolves in sheep's clothing on the invitation list. People need to see this and plan properly, rather than invite enemies.

The pressures are enormous, but at the end of the day, no one's going to be with you two 24/7 afterwards. Its your wedding.

If one can't do a financial examination and actually have something to live on after the wedding, then no one needs to tell you that there's a problem with its own set of wedding rings.

"For better or for worse". lol

PS: An uncle of mine was supposed to give a couple to-be a large sum as a wedding gift. he gave only half, pending some "arrangements" to come through. immediately the wedding was over, he gave them the other.

Big weddings do not mean much. Just a way of drawing attention to oneself. come to think of it, what value does it really add to the lives of the couple after saturday?

WebMonk:

I once attended a wedding December 2006. Being an freelance expert in stage management, i could estimate how much the reception cost in lagos. When i started hitting millions, My head started spinning. I prodded further, and - you guess it, they started their honeymoon broke.

Every wedding that's large is bound to have some wolves in sheep's clothing on the invitation list. People need to see this and plan properly, rather than invite enemies.

The pressures are enormous, but at the end of the day, no one's going to be with you two 24/7 afterwards. Its your wedding.

If one can't do a financial examination and actually have something to live on after the wedding, then no one needs to tell you that there's a problem with its own set of wedding rings.

"For better or for worse". lol

PS: An uncle of mine was supposed to give a couple to-be a large sum as a wedding gift. he gave only half, pending some "arrangements" to come through. immediately the wedding was over, he gave them the other.

such coupls do not only start off broke which is the worst thing to do but worse they used up their family favours.After her parents have spent 2m on a wedding what are the chances of them helping them out afterwards?

Also it amazes me how after the wedding the familes and friends behave.Whether small or big they will quickly put it behind their mind and start smiling even though they might have kept so much pressure of the couple.

Scarlett:

I have a friend who after her wedding, people were still calling her and her mum
Saying foolish things, like how they didn't get some rice, chicken or some souvenirs, imagine this

Some Photographers, DJs, uninvited ones, were calling to tell them their pictures were ready
and they should send the money, they were disturbing this girl right, left and center.

I am sorry i cannot have this kind of headache, i want a big wedding but it would be controlled
to the highest level and in a closed place, no unwanted person will show up there.

There you are!

There is no way you can have 2000 people and expect the wedding to go smoothly.Many are there just to chop and will complain afterwards.

Also we Nigerians like money so wedding is just another money making machine for most.

Think about it.2 people are starting off most likely in their 20s or 30s .Why would you now keep this young couples in money problems ?

If anything this couples should have more from the wedding then they put it.After all if you love them then you should see their bank account is reading more money then when they started rather then a huge minus!

How necessary are BIG Weddings? Well if you come from a [/b]BIG[b] Family, your people are making [/b]BIG[b] money and your Family name is [/b]BIG[b] then a [/b]BIG[b] wedding is necessary.

What an interesting topic! a timely one too.
I was telling my friends recently that my wedding reception will be within the range of 50-100. They have dared me and ive taken up the challenge. Y waste all your effort on just a day's events. Some even go as far as taking loans! imagine.
As for me elaborate, big, gigantic or society weddings (or whatever it is called) is a no-no. I hope i get a man who can reason along with me!

If he no reason, na him go pay now

Dalby:

If he no reason, na him go pay now

Of course.If you get too many friend and family then you either tell them no be all go come or you go pay for am.Simple and short.

How you go ask the person who dey bring few people to pay?

na wao nwando  ,
i think there should be a cultural constitutional change in ibo land as par wedding responsibilities     
.your smart ancestors were'nt definitely thinking of present day nigerian economy.
accepted females were not considered as equal to males in those days but should'nt the much advocated gender equality be applied to wedding as it is applied to other areas like salaries.no wonder those ibo guys never marry untill they are 45 and have been able to buy a benz v boot  .
anyway i believe this also applies to those from the niger delta especially urhobo,can u you imagine the groom also has to buy the clothes the brides parents will wear on that day and i can tell you those their wrappers dont come cheap.Some tribes should please wake up and carry their responsibilities

who cares moderate or loud same same

Extremely Unnecessary! Unless you just want to feed some hungry stomachs.

I just say as long as am gonna be with ma man, i dont mind if there were just 50 people there.

There is no way of getting outta people using aso ebi etc - so i feel i would probably wait till i can spend big before i do it.
I really am not one to be pressured to do something i dont wanna do, so that means my day will be my day.

trav:

na wao nwando ,
i think there should be a cultural constitutional change in ibo land as par wedding responsibilities
.your smart ancestors were'nt definitely thinking of present day nigerian economy.
accepted females were not considered as equal to males in those days but should'nt the much advocated gender equality be applied to wedding as it is applied to other areas like salaries.no wonder those ibo guys never marry untill they are 45 and have been able to buy a benz v boot .
anyway i believe this also applies to those from the niger delta especially urhobo,can u you imagine the groom also has to buy the clothes the brides parents will wear on that day and i can tell you those their wrappers don't come cheap.Some tribes should please wake up and carry their responsibilities

why you dey drink panadol for anoda man headache ?
dem come complain give you?free yaself biko.

very unnecessary. So many do it to please their folks and get their 30 seconds of fame. and then suffer the financial mess afterwards.
Please let me ask, what will u do dat day that hasn't been done b4?
And even at dat, bad belle must dey.

Elaborate weddings are not really necessary, the life after the wedding day ……is really what matters…it’s the main thing…

NOT NECESSARY AT ALL, for me i would prefer someting very small, stylish and unique!

Nigerian too like notice me

whats abt a big wedding? u do it for that 7 hrs and people notice you and talk abt it for months. after that, what else? people go abt thier business and forget abt it cos a bigger one will come up again by another different person.

Why dont u save the stress and organize a small weddding which will be attended by the very people u love n cherish most rather than having every dick, harry, nkechi, okafor and all naijas.

when will we learn to understand that we exist alone in this world and people will definitely forget you one day even though u do your best to please them.

In truth, IF U DONT LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, YOU CANNOT LOVE ANODA PERSON

Statistics already show that elaborate and big weddings hardly last. Think back to back to most weddings you have witnessed in the past and  count how many of thos big ones survive their first 10 years. I think small and well controlled wedding is fantastic provided their is undying love between the couple. No un-invited party of any sort, especially those photographers and drum players. If both of you reside outside the city where u do the wedding, take off to your base as soon as possible immediately after the wedding. Save your money for your future children college education and other important expenses that come after wedding. That's what I'm going to do.

My brova,

i wonder why people go borrow money to do wedding? Infact people shld learn to live thier own lives

there is a little revolution sha going on quietly and very soon, people will learn the hard way

my fellow nairalanders wo everything is based on purse oh and also ao the forth coming husband and wife plan there wedding ohhhhhhhh no matter wat both parents says but big wedding is wahala i'll even prefer just court wedding and after that a very small party if necessary and blessing from my pastor after that make evrybody go there house make dem come chop the remaining rice after 9months.


so that they will not go and start begging after big elaborated wedding cos a story abt one of my friend wey wan wed dey don buy wdding gown already but he still need money for some other things so he went to his boss and tell him that they have bought everything remaining money for wedding gown na so his boss just enter house give him his wife's wedding gown which is not even useful for that my friend, (wat a funny act) just cut ur coat according 2 ur size jareeeeeeeee eyin temi no long thing!!!!!!!!!!!

oro ni yen ohhhhhhh soki lobe oge same na ni gbogbo

bisibaby:

my fellow nairalanders wo everything is based on purse oh and also ao the forth coming husband and wife plan there wedding ohhhhhhhh no matter what both parents says but big wedding is wahala i'll even prefer just court wedding and after that a very small party if necessary and blessing from my pastor after that make evrybody go there house make them come chop the remaining rice after 9months.


so that they will not go and start begging after big elaborated wedding because a story about one of my friend wey wan wed dey don buy wdding gown already but he still need money for some other things so he went to his boss and tell him that they have bought everything remaining money for wedding gown na so his boss just enter house give him his wife's wedding gown which is not even useful for that my friend, (what a funny act) just cut your coat according 2 your size jareeeeeeeee eyin temi no long thing!!!!!!!!!!!

oro ni yen ohhhhhhh soki lobe oge same na ni gbogbo

we could use more females like you.Even couples who can afford it certainly should have a life after the ceremony?Why should they come out with nothing but a few electricals and loads of plastics and nothing in the pocket?

Think girls espically!Would you rather finish your ceremony and then go look for land to build your house or take those millions and spent it in a few hours?

Don't let the wedding industry influence you.This people make money from making you think a big wedding is important.

simple and classic wedding will do 4 me