I really nid advice am 23 yrs old currently tryna get a job. I have issues in my relationship: he's a nice person and very generous, I met him in Benin during one of his road shows and now we'r dating it's bin 4 months now. My issue is dat every girl he's bin with wants to come back; even his ex, girls at d office too. My heart does jumping jacks wen his phone rings and recently he's bin goin outside to pick his calls. I wanna walk away from it all today, cus I wanna be happy and not constantly thinkn if he's gonna leave me one day for any of dem. He keeps telln me to relax and not boda abt dose stuff and concentrate on building a relationship but I can't help being worried.I knw am his main girl but dat's no consolation at all. Nid advice from u guys before I makeup my mind.

Forget about him, go outside and look.for a decent job.

You need to realise one thing.
He chose to be with you

now stop being insecure and worry about other things like getting a job

The only reason i wil ask you to stay and still be patient is that the relationship is stil very young and as you stated, he has met the other girls before meeting you and he probably still need some time to make a stable decision..., other than that, there isnt any reason y you should stay in a relationship dat is not define, if he says that you calm down n concentrate on building a relationship, give him 2 more months, 6 months is a enough time to decide whether he is serious or not, cos he might just b a playa and you might b 1 of his games just like dem oda girls

LMAO at 'main girl'. Hehehe

i think u should concentrate on gettin a job, dont commit yur all int the relationship...hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
yu are still young and these are one of the experiences yu will add to yur CV. lmao.

so , Lady, remember he has been with yu and try to deal with the situation, more so, tell him to stop goin outside to pick calls as it wil increase yur level of discomfort wrt the ex's issues.

good luck

[quote author=Konnektions146]i think u should concentrate on gettin a job, dont commit yur all int the relationship...hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
yu are still young and these are one of the experiences yu will add to yur CV. lmao.

so , Lady, remember he has been with yu and try to deal with the situation, more so, tell him to stop goin outside to pick calls as it wil increase yur level of discomfort wrt the ex's issues.

good luck[/quote. yeah will do dat asap.

Give him a trial and enter with your eyes wide open and your senses alert

Give IT A GO but at the back of your mind always expect the unexpected and make sure u have a plan B to minimise ur risks

@OP,
1) ur already in a s/exual relationship with you for only 4 months.
2)So why quit now, and by so doing increase your sex count
3) Why not put your heart into getting a job?
4) why building mountains out of anthills?
Relax. Only make sure say u never carry belle yet

He's obviously using d delay-relay tactics . Ouch!

Here is haw to shunt d circuit: seee him less. Become busy with oda aspects of your life. And stop being @ his beck and call.

In essence? Make him miss Ʊ . If he is really into Ʊ , his actions wud prove.
Seems like he got you all on d cheap and ya'll try to hang onto him cos of dem gifts. He knows it and he's confused ωнo is ƒoя real.

And hey, d phone calls r just a sleek playa playa trick. Just to Kip you all on your toes so Ʊ always ĸпoω ωнo da BO§§ is ! Always.

Naw do d opposite. Send less. Precious stones aint easy to come вч .

You sound weak tho.

Regards

D

Thanx for the love guys, I rily appreciate. Will deal wv stuff from now on...

Yday evening was a bit messed up, I checked his fones and normally I wldn't do dat. Found wat I was lookn for and it wasn't funny. Am just gonna take it easy now; every1 is sayn be patient wv him, nd he's sayn dat I shld give him tym to sort out evrytin buh he still called d chick last nite. I got pretty angry and got drunk, dat made him mad at me cus he had to spoonfeed me cus I was too weak. Guess am takn it to far after all he ain't married to me. He's free to do what he wants. Thanx once again guyz.

So what do you intend to do now?

sugarbuns: Yday evening was a bit messed up, I checked his fones and normally I wldn't do dat. Found wat I was lookn for and it wasn't funny. Am just gonna take it easy now; every1 is sayn be patient wv him, nd he's sayn dat I shld give him tym to sort out evrytin buh he still called d chick last nite. I got pretty angry and got drunk, dat made him mad at me cus he had to spoonfeed me cus I was too weak. Guess am takn it to far after all he ain't married to me. He's free to do what he wants. Thanx once again guyz.

I take exceptions to what others hv told Ʊ .

Here is what you shld do, play his cards back @ him.

If he gets access to you @ will b4 naw, form too busy and stop. seeing him always.

Go out there and meet oda guys too . Crzly get urself a job . And stop accepting gifts frm him

sugarbuns: Yday evening was a bit messed up, I checked his fones and normally I wldn't do dat. Found wat I was lookn for and it wasn't funny. Am just gonna take it easy now; every1 is sayn be patient wv him, nd he's sayn dat I shld give him tym to sort out evrytin buh he still called d chick last nite. I got pretty angry and got drunk, dat made him mad at me cus he had to spoonfeed me cus I was too weak. Guess am takn it to far after all he ain't married to me. He's free to do what he wants. Thanx once again guyz.

Did he tell you what he called her for?

Anyman doing this to a woman is heartless. Its already more than 3months into that relationship and a Good man ould have discharGed other minor babes.

OP is ur choice, ur man is obviously a cheat. If you want a cheat, stick to him , he may or may not break ur heart. If you want a Good man, take a break.

sugarbuns: Yday evening was a bit messed up, I checked his fones and normally I wldn't do dat. Found wat I was lookn for and it wasn't funny. Am just gonna take it easy now; every1 is sayn be patient wv him, nd he's sayn dat I shld give him tym to sort out evrytin buh he still called d chick last nite. I got pretty angry and got drunk, dat made him mad at me cus he had to spoonfeed me cus I was too weak. Guess am takn it to far after all he ain't married to me. He's free to do what he wants. Thanx once again guyz.

u r already ruining ur life cos of him; drinking n getting drunk cos a guy

Anyways, it seem u will always stick to him but if u wil do dat, do not bother us about ur troubles anymore , u r grown enuff to know wats best 4 u i guess

Occupying myself wv stuff now; guess am just gonna give him as good as I get.

sugarbuns: Occupying myself wv stuff now; guess am just gonna give him as good as I get.

Well at some point, you have to ask him

if every girl he has been wit wants to come back, its prolly cz he is incredibly awesome.... and he is yours!!
if he is dat awesome and u leave him, u ll join the queue of exs dat wants him back

y not secure ur guy and be d envy of all? ur relationship is still young, build it to be what u want it to.tell him u dnt lyk d fact dat he isnt open enuf to answer his calls in ur presence but u must realize dat at dis stage, he ll still keep in touch wit his exs unless d break ups were messy. forgetting someone u once had an affair wit is a gradual process dat doesn't mean he is cheating.

but girl, u need to work on urself! getting drunk, crying cz of a guy u ve known 4 just 4months? not a good signal. contrary to wat someone wrote, he.isnt destroying u, u r doin a good job of dat ursf! he is lucky to ve u just as u r lucky to ve him and as nice as u think he is, der r so many guys dat are a lot nicer so plsssssss discard dat low self esteem and insecurity. u can keep him and he wont stray, if he strays, discard and move on,simples.

@ gree-die thanx, dat's an eye opener. He left for work and we didn't talk abt yday. Buh I guess he was a lot pissed cus he had to feed me and clear d alcohol and I fell sick, so he he had to watch me. Asked me why I still decided to frustrate him afta he promised to take kia of evrytin.am thinkn I shld wait for him to call so we cld talk. Do u think its ok?

Moving out to pay him back might be dangrous. All u need to do is try and do without him for some time,get urself busy doing some tangible stuff,limit ur call,if he calls receive d call and talk normal,ask him many questions about what he sees in u by choosing u when u r 2geda,reduce making love with him and allow him visit u more dan u do....his reaction towards dis ur new attitude will make u get him...so if he want u to change back to d normal way back..then u need to bring out ur rules to follow,if he can't comply then he's not urs.No1 rule:he should always be honest and transparent with u....etc.try dis for 2month

@ Op...hmmm hw about completing ur education(to Ph.D), getting a cool job and being independent. He'll break his simcard 4 u if ur self esteem, sufficiency and independence is high, it's a turn up 4 we guys. U'r too young 2 b saddened by a boy!

Do you live with him?

sugarbuns: @ gree-die thanx, dat's an eye opener. He left for work and we didn't talk abt yday. Buh I guess he was a lot pissed cus he had to feed me and clear d alcohol and I fell sick, so he he had to watch me. Asked me why I still decided to frustrate him afta he promised to take kia of evrytin.am thinkn I shld wait for him to call so we cld talk. Do u think its ok?

u could wait for him to call and thrash it out or u can call him ursf but y not meet him one on one and really talk? at dis stage u need alot of communication... and yes i know its hard to trust, but pls try to believe him wen he says he ll take care of everything until he don't.

uhm i know u feel u must guard ursf and ur heart and u should but plssss don't go around looking for traces of unfaithfulness, let d evidence come to u. poking around ll cause u unnecessary heart ache and besides, wt u think u found may not be wat it is. ..

IZUKWU: Do you live with him?

no I don't live wv him, go for visits and stay like 3-5 days at a time.