I’m bringing this up because a friend of mine recently lost the opportunity of securing a job and I only got to know after the fact, meanwhile, I could have easily helped him considering that I’m a good friend to the recruiter.

This friend (the one who didn’t get the job) had previously asked me some questions earlier in the week that suggested he was up to something, he just never told me why he asked and I never bothered to ask. This is just one of many cases of how secretive a lot of Nigerians/Africans are. In this case, someone missed a chance of getting a good job and there are several cases like that.

I’m not sure if it’s a cultural attribute of Nigerians or Africans but my biggest guess to why this exists is the strong belief in the existence of witchcraft. This friend of mine seem to think that I’m a wizard with some spiritual power or something to stop him from getting the job, I wish

A lot of Nigerians have a problem with self-disclosure, they only tell after the fact, some don’t even tell at all. They call you a friend but you don’t know when they’re about to buy a new car, move to a new house, get a new job, travel abroad, pass a test or are graduated from school.
The only thing I know they’re quick to tell is when they’re getting married, not sure why but other than that, you only get to find out about most things only after the fact.

How can you call someone a friend when you never get to experience their success but they’re quick to tell about their failure?

I’m not sure if it’s a cultural attribute of Nigerians or Africans but my biggest guess to why this exists is the strong belief in the existence of witchcraft. This friend of mine seem to think that I’m a wizard with some spiritual power or something to stop him from getting the job, I wish

This should be it. I have been told by people that I should mind whoever I tell my future plans to because some people are evil and will try to ruin those plans in the native doctor's shrine or in the coven.
lol

fellis:

This should be it. I have been told by people that I should mind whoever I tell my future plans to because some people are evil and will try to ruin those plans in the native doctor's shrine or in the coven.
lol

i dont want to start calling HIM(OP) names now, am not trained that way. im no try at all! haba, so im want the GuY to ROLL in the MUD several times before im know he is in need of JOB? IMO i think its op who think the GuY has a problem(VilLa CURses) that has the real problem.

Because Nigerians are not out to help each other. Better to keep mum than to have your story told all over town.

If you hang around oyibos and westernized peeps, they'll tell you everything going on with them.

Its just a question of what do you want to hear.

Many nigerians do not have that luxury of free talking because of the crabs in a barrel environment. However, oyibos have societal support ( if you touch them, be sure they'll get you sooner or later), so there's less fear.

Btw, there are other jobs your friend can get, God willing.

"The world has spoiled. You no longer know who is who" is what comes to my mind whenever people discuss this topic. In my opinion, we Nigerians, and Africans in general, do not readily give factual information about ourselves (age/name/birthdate) because we have exist in a culture influenced by various superstitions and fears.

For example, I grew up thinking that it's not right to brag about yourself because you never know which one of your "friends" is actually a friend, and to some extent it's true. For example, in the 1920s the first person to build a "modern" zinc house in my community was poisoned by enemies who were jealous of his progress. The man's death has sort of served as an example of the effects of the hatred that exists in this world. That's why for many of us, humbleness is the best option.

You can't really blame them. In this era and age, people are not out to help each other as jealousy and envy has taken over the lives of a lot of people. Everyone is trying to outdo each other one way or the other. So, telling people your secret may work against you. I remember a time i told someone about a 1-day IT program and he used his mouth to condemn the program saying that it a scam etc. There's nothing that guy did not say that day. I sha ended up going only to meet the guy there and he never told me he was coming. He gave me the impression that he'd rather die than go for that IT expo. My parents always made it a duty to tell us not to tell anyone about any important thing that we're embarking on until it has happened. I remember when i was young and my Father was traveling to the US(then it was a big deal and still is). He didn't tell anyone until he arrived there. It was when they asked about him that they learned he had gotten to obodo oyibo. You can't blame him for doing that because there are loads of wicked people these days.

Afam4eva: You can't really blame them. In this era and age, people are not out to help each other as jealousy and envy has taken over the lives of a lot of people. Everyone is trying to outdo each other one way or the other. So, telling people your secret may work against you. I remember a time i told someone about a 1-day IT program and he used his mouth to condemn the program saying that it a scam etc. There's nothing that guy did not say that day. I sha ended up going only to meet the guy there and he never told me he was coming. He gave me the impression that he'd rather die than go for that IT expo. My parents always made it a duty to tell us not to tell anyone about any important thing that we're embarking on until it has happened. I remember when i was young and my Father was traveling to the US(then it was a big deal and still is). He didn't tell anyone until he arrived there. It was when they asked about him that they learned he had gotten to obodo oyibo. You can't blame him for doing that because there are loads of wicked people these days.

bros you are right even in the west it happens, the case of Thomas Edison and Nilkon Tesla comes to mind very painful , i keep on asking this question, are blackmen cursed? there is still gross primitiveness in African societies

*Ileke-IdI:


Because Nigerians are not out to help each other. Better to keep mum than to have your story told all over town.

In this case, i could easily have helped him so i'm sure there are cases like that where people could have easily been helped if they knew what was going on.

I agree it could be based on experience sometimes but it still baffles me why people are willing to tell when they're down but not when something good is about to come their way


We only let out the obvious like having a baby, even then, people will hide that as much as possible..I only got to know i was gonna be an uncle a day after my nephew was born, not like i'm some kinda wizard

tpia@:
Btw, there are other jobs your friend can get, God willing.

Of course he'll eventually, but that was just to drive home my point about people missing opportunities due to lack of self disclosure, at least to some extent, not like giving me every details about your life story

Seriously though, if even your own relative is cautious about sharing information with you ( eg your nephew story), then that might mean they've been noticing some things which you might or might not be consciously aware of.

For example, maybe you really dont wish others well?

Some people are like that and its not a thing they can consciously control, its just their nature to be negative and anti-other people's progress.

Just saying.

It could also be they dont want certain others to get to know through you, meaning you might inadverdently inform some people who they'd rather didnt get involved.

2legit2qwt:

Of course he'll eventually, but that was just to drive home my point about people missing opportunities due to lack of self disclosure, at least to some extent, not like giving me every details about your life story

Well, life is not a fairytale.

Maybe he'll tell you next time.

in any case, why does it bother you so much?

These are endtimes

Afam4eva: You can't really blame them. In this era and age, people are not out to help each other as jealousy and envy has taken over the lives of a lot of people. Everyone is trying to outdo each other one way or the other. So, telling people your secret may work against you. I remember a time i told someone about a 1-day IT program and he used his mouth to condemn the program saying that it a scam etc. There's nothing that guy did not say that day. I sha ended up going only to meet the guy there and he never told me he was coming. He gave me the impression that he'd rather die than go for that IT expo. My parents always made it a duty to tell us not to tell anyone about any important thing that we're embarking on until it has happened. I remember when i was young and my Father was traveling to the US(then it was a big deal and still is). He didn't tell anyone until he arrived there. It was when they asked about him that they learned he had gotten to obodo oyibo. You can't blame him for doing that because there are loads of wicked people these days.

Chai, your fada don hammer be dat.

Guy, in this day and age be wise, DO NOT TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING OO. Okay, I remember when I applied to travel to the US, I told everybody that I was travelling, but unfortuntely for me, I did not get the US Visa, o boy see laugh, the same people wey I tell come dey laugh me as I go get Visa say I been dey brag say I go travel. No him I come learn my lesson. The following year, I no tell anybody, I just pretend say, I don forget the movement, the next I get my Visa travel, na wen I don reach US na him I come tell them say, I been dem move. Them come dey vex say I no tell them imagine, same people wey laugh me.


Secondly, I had a business deal and I told my friend about it. Omo the same day wey I go collect the money in hard currency running into millions of naira na that same day thief enter my house ask for the money, I shock. Before people been dey ask me when the money go reach, I just dey yan anyhow, even the amount sef.

Today, if you do any deal, maybe land deal, wey be millions no tell anybody oo else na kidnappers you dey invite. Seriously

So bros, story plenty, I don learn my lesson. I go tell you when the deed is done.

I have an issue with disclosure too. This is mainly because we don't support each other's success in Africa. You get help only when calamity befalls u, the deadlier d calamity, the greater the help.

I used to be very open! But each time I tell my plans to anyone, it won't work out. So, I noticed this after several occurrences and stopped. Now, I always keep my plans to myself and things are working in the right direction!

I stayed at my cousin's house recently and I was there for one month..... I didn't know she was planning to get married until the day of her introduction. They kept everything hidden and private until the day of the introduction....I was very upset about it. Then my aunt said, "her cele pastor told her that if she wants her daughter to get married, she must keep the introduction details private." I was very offended but oo well, such is life.

Omerian Consult: I have an issue with disclosure too. This is mainly because we don't support each other's success in Africa. You get help only when calamity befalls u, the deadlier d calamity, the greater the help.

gbam!

Op, if people never winch you like winchy winchy, that is when you will continue disclosing your plans.

Your friend, i pity him sha, but if he told you about that job and still lost it, he would blame it on your winchy winchy. Dont you think so?

I mind my business these days. When you help some people, you can even get into trouble, i learnt that one since secondary school days.

I disclose my plans to you when am sure you cannot influence it. Infact i know that nobody can stall my progress so i fit tell you to hug a moving locomotive or chimpanzee...lol. This is Nigeria and people have learnt bitter lessons including me.

....Magnate.

Nobody wants to suffer the pull-him-down syndrome. You'd be amazed at the level of brainwash these days from religious leaders,native doctors and Nollywood.

@ OP, ur on point my bro. Even the one I see as ma best fwend, is so secretive to me that he is currently on a project running to a few millions, but is not tellin me.( But I disclose every of my moves to him, even before the fact.)
Most times I just wonder wot peepz see fwendship as.

Na everybody mk enter us dey hammmer some their riches stl lays in nigeria

okpara ugo:

Chai, your fada don hammer be dat.

I for one I am very open-very open.But I noticed that even those you consider close friends aren't-So,it is like you're making a fool of yourself when you do since they are not(even those you are helping).I think it boils down to superstitious belief.Over the time I decided to be open to those that are open to me.I discovered that just talking about a particular thing with a reliable person I get ideals not necessarily from the person but as i speak something comes up.Bingo!A lot of times you hear the "big men" saying they are gonna buy a particular co. or make some kinda investment..The whole world get to know about it and yet they succeed in doing it.For me I am never scared of any witch or wizard !

mikedaniel76@gmail.com:
@ OP, ur on point my bro. Even the one I see as ma best fwend, is so secretive to me that he is currently on a project running to a few millions, but is not tellin me.( But I disclose every of my moves to him, even before the fact.)
Most times I just wonder wot peepz see fwendship as.

Many peeps see friendship only in the light of what they can get from it.It is what i have noticed these days.Read my earlier post on this topic..I think we are making the same point here.

@ poster

Don't blame people who don't open up easily in Nigeria.
A guy told his friends about his plans to embark on an MSc course abroad,
Next day, his names, pictures, international passport and some other documents
speedily got to the shrine of a babalawo at the outskirt of town...Naija!!!

When the going is good u have friends.btw,africans especially Nigerians believe in sorcery,withcraft as the source of many of their problems.and many people believe they have transgenerational,generational curses.hence,dy believe when its gud for u,don't broadcast it but when its bad be quick to tell.its very prevalent in the naija society.laulau spending no dy reach friends.many sabi chop alone.

*Ileke-IdI:


Because Nigerians are not out to help each other. Better to keep mum than to have your story told all over town.

And most people are even happy that you have problems..

after watching too much nollywood, what do you expect?

jbrodaly: I for one I am very open-very open.But I noticed that even those you consider close friends aren't-So,it is like you're making a fool of yourself when you do since they are not(even those you are helping).I think it boils down to superstitious belief.Over the time I decided to be open to those that are open to me.I discovered that just talking about a particular thing with a reliable person I get ideals not necessarily from the person but as i speak something comes up.Bingo!A lot of times you hear the "big men" saying they are gonna buy a particular co. or make some kinda investment..The whole world get to know about it and yet they succeed in doing it.For me I am never scared of any witch or wizard !

The wizard aspect aside, there is a stage you will reach, you wont fear to disclose anything to anyone. Not even tale-tell or bad wishes will stop your business.

Vanguard banner headline... ''Dangote to build a tomato plant in Edo state''.

Oya, where are the witches to stop him ?

okpara ugo:

The wizard aspect aside, there is a stage you will reach, you wont fear to disclose anything to anyone. Not even tale-tell or bad wishes will stop your business.

Vanguard banner healine... ''Dangote to build a tomato plant in Edo state''.

Oya, where are the witches to stop him ?

Please,where are they?!!