ya nigga...feel ya.
ya writeup ix d sum of 3 finx>> RIVETIN plus ELECTRIFYING plus FARCE

"u must pay the fine oh, today u go smell pepper" a man on red T-shirt shouted clinging on my belt, "bros abeg no vex, i no go do am again" i pleaded. I turned and saw another guy giving my guys a hard chase.

"u must pay the five thousand naira fine oh" the guy on red said, "but na only piss i piss na, how i go pay 5k for just piss" i cried. "when i carry u go meet our oga, na 10k u go pay be that, if u do stubborn head i go use dis thing hite u for head and ur p'rick go disapear" the guy said bringing out what looked fetish, comprising of feathers and broom- sticks. "yekpa!! I no want make my p'rick disapear oh, my p'rick still dey do plenty work oh, i still dey use am well well oh" i confessed.

I saw the other guy dragging Ilorin to where we stood, "so them don catch Ilorin but him no piss na" i tot. "chairman i no get 5k oh, abeg, abeg" i pleaded, " u dey mad, u no c wetin dem write there before u piss there?" he queried clinging on my singlet. "leave my singlet oh, u no know say na original BYC" i almost said.

"bros ejór oh, émà bínu, i no piss na abeg, abeg" Ilorin begged the pot-belly guy that was holding him. "but why u no tell ur friend make him no piss here na?" the pot belly guy queried bringing his own fetish "juju" out. As Ilorin saw it he said, "bros i tell am oh but him say if una come him go give una the money, say him get money plenty" "haba!! Ilorin why u dey lie, na wetin i talk?" i shouted at the top of my voice.

"so u get money abi?" the guy on red asked bringing his head close to mine for me to notice his bad breathe. "i be like person wey get money? I get money nahim i wear this kin trouser?" i said pointing at my wishy washy trouser. "u no get money abi, i go hite dis tin for ur head so u no go get p'rick again" the guy holding me threatened. I tot i heard Ilorin laughed at that moment, on the contrary he was grumbling.

The tot of losing my most precious d'ick made me cry out saying; "i go pay oh! i go pay oh! But na 3000 naira i get oh" "ok, where the money?" the guy on red asked, i was eased a beat that he actually agreed to collect 3000 naira "e dey house, make this my guy go bring am come" i said. I gave Ilorin my house key ordering him to collect only 3k out of the 5k remaining under my TV.

wahala b like Eba ,e no dey hard Flow make.....trouble dey smel lik akpu g flow body...reminds me of d novel One week One trouble abi na Eze goes 2 skul...lwtmb

wahala b like Eba ,e no dey hard Flow make.....trouble dey smel lik akpu 4 flow body...reminds me of d novel One week One trouble abi na Eze goes 2 skul...lwtmb

Yungbitz: wahala b like Eba ,e no dey hard Flow make.....trouble dey smel lik akpu 4 flow body...reminds me of d novel One week One trouble abi na Eze goes 2 skul...lwtmb

wetin my eye see, my mouth no fit talk am finish oh.

u 4 allow them collect ur 'kini' now instead of giving them d 3k,at least we 4 find another 1 give u thru transplant

flow1759:

wetin my eye see, my mouth no fit talk am finish oh.

c.ome talk d wan wey u fit na,abeg

abeg flow cum update oooooooo......i pray make i no enta trouble lik u ooo cos na march batch me dey oooo..cnt wait 4 march 2 cum

As i and Ilorin walked home after the whole incident, it started raining. Something came to my mind, the skies were sympatizing with me over the pains and sorrows i went through that day; first it was the trouser and shoe wahala, secondly, the church worker wahala, thirdly, the jersey predicament and finally the pee palava. Or would i call it a "sunday of sorrow"?. I was totally lost in my thoughts trying to replay my predicament one after the other when i heard a car honk......................... "pun pun pun!! comot for road na, if u wan die, no be me go kill u oh" the driver shouted. "wow! That was close" i tot.


I got home very famished. I opened my pot and discovered that what was left of the vegetable soup Juliet cooked the previous day was sour and was smelling badly, "see dis kin correct soup oh, e don go sour oh, and big big meat dey am oh, wetin i go do now, i no fit let this big big meat go oh" i tot.

I munched the meat like a hungry goat, though it was sour in taste but i had no choice. I searched the whole room if i could see something to eat. I found nothing except cornflakes; the conflakes i bought in place of C'ondom the other day.

As i soaked the cornflakes in water and started eating, someone came in, it was Angom, "Flow wetin u dey chop like dis na?" he asked "na cornflakes na" i responded. "which day u begin eat cornflakes na?" he asked. "guy no be me buy am oh, na person buy am for me oh, u know say i no dey like all this kin food na, nahim make since wey e dey my house na today i just dey open am" i said, "oboy i dey hungry oh, even the whole cornflakes wey dey dis world no go belle full me oh" i added.

"Me sef dey hungry, make we go Kelvin house go chop, him babe dey around, she cook rice and beans wey full pot" Angom suggested. We got to Kelvin's room at the nick of time when the food was served. "serve my guys food oh" he told his girlfriend.

"Flow, why u sabi rush hot food na, abi ur mouth get deep freezer, d food no dey burn ur tongue?" Angom said. "na u sabi oh, u no dey hungry na, if u dey hungry, even if the food hot reach hundred degree, u go chop am like dat" i responded. "abeg i no fit rush food like u oh" Angom said. Me and Angom was eating from a plate while Kelvin and his girlfriend ate from a seperate plate. Althrough Kelvin was bombarding us with wrong english. He was trying to impress his new girlfriend that he can speak well when he knew he can't. Since i had known Kelvin, his grammar had grew from worse to worst, infact its nothing to write home about. He kept speaking grammatical blunder, i didn't laugh, but i just swallowed it with the hot rice and beans, until................... he asked his girlfriend "baby, why is the rice mucher than the beans?".

Flow flow ride on jawe nothing do you oh ... Next time photocopy your pr'ick keep original for house inside file then carry the fake waka ! Na advice oh

@Flow.....i really admire ur style of writing.....its highly entertaining. But i'm sure u didn't suffer dis much for real. Keep da dice rolling bro!

Hahahahahahaha ... Flow abeg , why are your problems mucher than your pleasures ?

fankasibe: @Flow.....i really admire ur style of writing.....its highly entertaining. But i'm sure u didn't suffer dis much for real. Keep da dice rolling bro!

na wetin happen to me for real be dis oh, i suffer for my service year no be small. Its the best one year of my life so far.

purpinkx: Hahahahahahaha ... Flow abeg , why are your problems mucher than your pleasures ?

flow brain is mucher than ur own but my brain is muchest than every people own.
U guyz can read some of my write-ups.

flow1759: until................... he asked his girlfriend "baby, why is the rice mucher than the beans?".

Laughing°˚ ˚°º≈inº°˚ ˚°º≈*Akwa-IboMº°˚ ˚°º≈dialectº°˚ ˚°º≈iyammi º°˚ ˚°º≈=)) =)) =)) nsutor_mkpo-idom?=)) =))=)) =)) °˚ ˚°º≈iº°˚Mbong akam˚°º≈*º°˚ ˚°º≈º°˚Sungsung°ºoh≈-=)) =))..

Hahahahahhahaha

the rice is very much more plentifuler than the beans. OMG

Badt flow...kipp id ccumin

Dariye: the rice is very much more plentifuler than the beans. OMG

infact the rice is muchest than the beans

"baby, why is the rice mucher than the beans?".
Uncle flow, abeg shey ds guy follow teach students for the school?
students don suffer

simplifier: "baby, why is the rice mucher than the beans?".
Uncle flow, abeg shey ds guy follow teach students for the school?
students don suffer

e dey teach na, that goes a long way to show the "half baked" graduates our universities produce. Don't worry as u read on, u would get to know why Kelvin speaks badly

euthanasia:

Laughing°˚ ˚°º≈inº°˚ ˚°º≈*Akwa-IboMº°˚ ˚°º≈dialectº°˚ ˚°º≈iyammi º°˚ ˚°º≈=)) =)) =)) nsutor_mkpo-idom?=)) =))=)) =)) °˚ ˚°º≈iº°˚Mbong akam˚°º≈*º°˚ ˚°º≈º°˚Sungsung°ºoh≈-=)) =))..

obong take am easy

My bad! I forgot to ask, how did u guys celebrate valentine with ur love? Well, for me, my girlfriend broke up with me on February 13th. Na who lose, na me abi she?

flow1759: My bad! I forgot to ask, how did u guys celebrate valentine with ur love? Well, for me, my girlfriend broke up with me on February 13th. Na who lose, na me abi she?

No talk so, u tink say she be mumu wey go find tym to break wit u na val tym she see.
sori broda, bt she got a beta offer.
Girlssss are smart ooh

Flow no vex me oo...... Na wen u wan complete d towi na?

flow1759: My bad! I forgot to ask, how did u guys celebrate valentine with ur love? Well, for me, my girlfriend broke up with me on February 13th. Na who lose, na me abi she?

what! I thought u are married 2 a yoruba lady with 2 kids(twins)

Dariye:
what! I thought u are married 2 a yoruba lady with 2 kids(twins)

hahahahahahahaha. Am divorced now LOL. Remember i told u that story was 75 percent true. lets say the marriage part made up of the rest 25 percent. This one here is simply 100 percent undilluted.

Oga Flow wey d update na?

dayleke: Oga Flow wey d update na?

more update coming right about................. Now

Ok,I dey here o

Monday morning came. I couldn't wink a sleep althrough the night because i was thinking deeply. "i hear say na today we go recieve alert for our alawi oh" Angom said as we walked to school. "make dem pay the alawi oh, i no get money again, i don broke die" i responded, "dem don pay corpers for some states sef" Sammy added.

Althrough, while i was in school i brought out my phone from my pocket at 5 minutes intervals to comfirm if bank alert message has appeared. On one of such occasion, i brought out my phone on hearing a message alert, but lo and behold it was a message from MTN. "abeg no be this kin message i want see oh" i said to myself as i deleted the message without reading it.

Yet another message came, i read it this time, it was from Dami telling me she missed me alot and that i should stop over at the shop to keep her company when returning from school. "so, na so i fine reach wey make dis girl dey fall for me like dis" i tot.

And yet another text message came. "guy dem don pay alawi oh" i shouted after reading the message, "correct!! make we go collect am sharp sharp" Sammy said, "i no carry my withdrawal book here oh" i confessed. "u suppose carry am na, u no know say dem go alert us today? but u carry ur ATM card abi?" Angom asked, "i carry am here na" i responded bringing out my wallet to confirm if my ATM card was there, "ehen, u go use am withdraw na" Angom said. Me, Angom and Sammy set off smiling to Oceanic bank leaving Ilorin and Kelvin behind because they had classes. What i never knew was that Oceanic bank was going to cause an ocean of tears for me.

Soon we were at the bank, the rest of them entered the banking hall while i went straight to the ATM because i was the only one without withdrawal book. I met absence of the regular long queue that afternoon. "make i just withdraw d whole money go put for my GTB account, I no like Oceanic bank" i said to myself.

My batch of corpers were among the first batch that started enjoying the 19,800 alawi government paid corpers. "i go just withdraw 20k, because i been get like 500naira inside before" i said to myself as i inserted my ATM card into the machine. I punched on the proceed button after i had typed in the amount i needed, and i waited for my money............................ One minute and no show. I heard a click sound, i tot my money was about coming out. When i saw what was displayed on the screen, i caught headache instantly, it read: OUT OF SERVICE. My card didn't come out neither did my money.

"una bank na rubbish bank, una ATM don swallow my card, wetin i do una na" i cried to the security man at the entrance as i was also looking at the machine from the corner of my eyes if the money would miraculously be dispensed. "mr man, go to the customer care and complain, shouting won't solve the problem" the security man said. "ok i would go, just keep ur eyes on machine incase the money still comes out" i told the security man. "Flow u be mumu oh, if d money comot, u think say dis security man go carry am give u? U be big mumu oh" i cursed myself as i walked into the banking hall.

"Flow, dis wan wey ur face dey like dis, u chop s'hit?" Sammy said, "na ur papa chop s'hit" i cursed. "Oboy, yawa don gas oh, ATM don swallow my card oh, e no even give me möney wey i want sef" i said bitterly. "eyah!! Flow why wahala dey follow u everywhere u go, abi dem dey follow u for ur village?" Angom said, "na u dem dey follow for village, infact dem don already kill u for ur village sef, na ur ghost stand for my front so" i cursed. "hahahahahahaha flow abeg no kill persin with laf" Sammy said, "abeg go complain for customer care before e go dey too late" he added.

"my Atm card and money refuse coming out from the machine" i said to the beautiful customer service lady; maybe it was because of her beauty that made me not shout, maybe. "okay, fill this form here" she said handing a form to me. As i wanted to start filling the form, my phone vibrated, i checked, it was a message alert from Oceanic bank saying i just withdrew 20k.

oga flow your NYSC experience is full of fun and I like d way u dey narrate am. I laff so tey pple here they ask me wetin happen. I hope say tear no flow from your eye in front of that beautiful customer service lady.