carmelion:





Thanks Chuks

na wa o, this one don pass nairaland o, dm dn dey do underground runs since!. Ok o, make I no talk too much b4 sm1 sama me with 1 fine for breaking half of seun new rules.

Hi dolls, n i shd say 'carmydoll'- i really luv ur post n i really need ur help. i really dont understand dis guy @ my place of worship,okay he is cute but am nt after dat in a relationship, so i put him in his place knowing fully well dat he is a player. but to my suprise dis guy has been giving undue attention like deep staring n so on. intially i did as if i didnt notice n i created a wall ard myself but- dolls u no se i no be wood, hence dis wall is breaking cos he would nt stop giving me dat deep stare yet he would nt call me thou he knows my no.
i know dis guy wants sex wit me but i cant give him n yet i want him to stop giving me dat look. i even thot of meeting him n telling 2 stop giving me those stupid luks, but am telling myself wouldnt dis guy tink he has broken down my defense cos i act as if i dont give a dime yet am confused inside me.
dolls, i nid ur advice on hw to tackle dis big probelm. thks

^^thanks Joy.Welcome to the thread.

The best way to handle your fears and problems is to face them squarely. Running away will only show your weakness thereby,giving it advantage over you.


Dear joy,what I will advise you to do is risky cos you might want to do it and he will floor you.


He is enjoying himself making you uncomfortable,he is seducing your mind. Yes he is that good in the art.
But you don't want him right?

Ok,here we go

From today,don't wait for him to look at you first,and then you remove your eyes,cos you are shy.No,let the tables turn. Start looking at him first. Let him turn and discover that you are staring at him.

Don't wait for him to come to you first,go to him.Get close to him,by making friends with his friends.Before you know it,you are in the circle. Ask him petty questions like "how was your weekend"?,"I didn't see you yesterday,are you alright"?


This would either wake him up from his day-dream or it would make him think that you are admiring him,then he would be forced to open his mouth. If the latter happens,then you can lash him very,very well. That would get him confused.


He will then know his boundaries,as in you are not one his play toys. Trust me,If you are bold enough to do this,thank me later.

joylayo: Hi dolls, n i shd say 'carmydoll'- i really luv ur post n i really need ur help. i really dont understand dis guy @ my place of worship,okay he is cute but am nt after dat in a relationship, so i put him in his place knowing fully well dat he is a player. but to my suprise dis guy has been giving undue attention like deep staring n so on. intially i did as if i didnt notice n i created a wall ard myself but- dolls u no se i no be wood, hence dis wall is breaking cos he would nt stop giving me dat deep stare yet he would nt call me thou he knows my no.
i know dis guy wants sex wit me but i cant give him n yet i want him to stop giving me dat look. i even thot of meeting him n telling 2 stop giving me those stupid luks, but am telling myself wouldnt dis guy tink he has broken down my defense cos i act as if i dont give a dime yet am confused inside me.
dolls, i nid ur advice on hw to tackle dis big probelm. thks

Sorry, I don't understand your post... Do you mean if your so called "wall" totally collapse you would give him se+x without him asking you out and being in a committed relationship with him?

I also don't understand how his consistent stare or gaze is affecting you... As a lady you should be used to it, so far there is no formal feelings between you two. Fine, I get the look that guys sometimes give ladies -the 'you are a well-prepared desert and I wanna eat you" kinda look; but you shouldn't let that crumble your girds.

Not until a man approaches you, asks you out and your feelings for him develop(you share mutual feelings), I don't think se+x with him should cross your mind. Not even when you know he's a player...

I feel the problem is with your thoughts... You have fallen for him cos he's kinda attractive and you can't wait for him to be yours. You just have to relax. Pretend he doesn't exist until he approaches you. Even after he approaches you, you have to be careful. Study him and make sure he sees you differently, not like every other ladies he sleeps with and dumps.

He has your number, if he's so interested in you, he will give you a call, then you guys can start from there.

=n

Thks carmydoll, i really appreciate ur reply.
@ coefoe, thks 4 ur post as well n my people will say 'u do well'. well, u were so soon to write dis issue as a 'no big deal' but pls put urself in my situation. in my post i wrote dat dis guy is cute no doubt n he give me dis deep stare n even keeps staring during service at me. initally i thot it couldnt be me so i changed my seat,but dat did nt stop him even wen he is cut in d act. n dis have bin going on for months yet after service we part way till d next service day n d routine continues.
Pls, coefoe tell me it nt an intentional act on d part of dis guy to break me. anyway, like i said 'thks'. n i will go with carmy's advice.

D veil (no b walls) don tear already, u just dey wait make im do 2nd coming. Mayb im dey luk u because u no gree 4 am bt as im c say u dey shy wn una eyes jam na dia him come change d stare to sexy stare. Many of una like bold confident guys, so in my small understandin I knw say u like d guy bt u jst dey fear say im b womaniser. If u wan accept u do if u no want d guy, u flee bt no ever think of making frnd wit am, na dia im go take catch u. Believe me on this one, d day u be im frnd, na d day u lie down for im bed open legs dey wait for am.

passionate88: D veil (no b walls) don tear already, u just dey wait make im do 2nd coming. Mayb im dey luk u because u no gree 4 am bt as im c say u dey shy wn una eyes jam na dia him come change d stare to sexy stare. Many of una like bold confident guys, so in my small understandin I knw say u like d guy bt u jst dey fear say im b womaniser. If u wan accept u do if u no want d guy, u flee bt no ever think of making frnd wit am, na dia im go take catch u. Believe me on this one, d day u be im frnd, na d day u lie down for im bed open legs dey wait for am.

True talk up there. The guy has caught you already, no need trying to shakara again. Just give him the right signals if you're interested or deal with your feelings for him if you don't want to give him a chance. We hate to admit it but sometimes they can out-smart us. In this case, he has won!

In my opinion, I think you have fallen for the guy, but you are just being held by your ego and the thought of 'being like the other girls'. First and foremost, we are talking about church here and you are talking about s3x. What the hell happened to fornication being a sin?
The guy is a player for crying out loud. Trust me, you will just end up like the others he has conquered, if you fall.
Don't befriend the guy for the same reason a lamb should not befriend a lion. He will slay you, if you do. He is an expert, so, don't play his game with him, if not, you will lose.
My advice is that you continue to ignore him. He has noticed you are already falling. And that gives him so much joy. And he will not change a winning formula. In that case, confide in a woman-mentor in your church. That is not to say you should report him. For God's sake, na eye you take see am. Laughs. Confide in a female pastor in the church to advice you on what to do. You are his next experiment and you have to play your game wisely and with someone, not alone. Trying to beat him alone will crash.
I just hope you read this in time before you take him to aso rock, because that where all this will lead if you don't up your game. Shalom

@joylayo, I'm sorry if I sounded insensitive, I only wanted you to tackle the source of the problem which is your thoughts... It's not safe to become friends with a guy like this. It's obvious that he's a pro at it and he will beat you hands down if you decide to play the game with him.

To be on the safe side, pls ignore him. You can do it. When you are in church, sit in front and don't look around(or better still, once you notice the direction he's seated don't look at that direction till the end of the service).

He keeps doing it cos he's getting results... He noticed his actions are getting to you. That motivates him. Henceforth, your goal is to make his stare irrelevant or unnoticed, trust me he would stop, or would be forced to approach you(if he has good intentions).

I'm sorry once again if I sounded harsh the first time. I sounded that way cos thats the way I will react if a guy I know as a womanizer is trying to get to me by shattering my self esteem... All the best dear!

carmelion: ^^thanks Joy.Welcome to the thread.

The best way to handle your fears and problems is to face them squarely. Running away will only show your weakness thereby,giving it advantage over you.


Dear joy,what I will advise you to do is risky cos you might want to do it and he will floor you.


He is enjoying himself making you uncomfortable,he is seducing your mind. Yes he is that good in the art.
But you don't want him right?

Ok,here we go

From today,don't wait for him to look at you first,and then you remove your eyes,cos you are shy.No,let the tables turn. Start looking at him first. Let him turn and discover that you are staring at him.

Don't wait for him to come to you first,go to him.Get close to him,by making friends with his friends.Before you know it,you are in the circle. Ask him petty questions like "how was your weekend"?,"I didn't see you yesterday,are you alright"?


This would either wake him up from his day-dream or it would make him think that you are admiring him,then he would be forced to open his mouth. If the latter happens,then you can lash him very,very well. That would get him confused.


He will then know his boundaries,as in you are not one his play toys. Trust me,If you are bold enough to do this,thank me later.

Carmy dear, I am afraid I have to disagree with you here. The only place a lion and lamb are seen playing together is scenes and pictures we see of heaven. Not on earth. This young lady is already 'quarter to fall'.

Prescribing your kind of solution for her is purely a 'The End' medicine. He is the lion, the expert one and she is the lamb, a huge novice hence her advice-seeking post. Any approach the lamb makes to the lion, the lion will eat the lamb up.

That's what will happen in her case, nothing less.

I am same person...

The point of focus should be how you guys broke up...

From all you have stated, I will assume she was at fault.

When it happened, did she apologise and has she ever apologised? If yes, how long did it take her to say sorry? If 'no', then just know that you are not respected.

Also note that how she says it is very imperative because sometimes these girls feel they control you, especially when they are wholly aware that you love them like mad...

Therefore, they feel they have the master key to your heart and can come in anytime they want or hang out all they want while the keep you on reserve.

My ex erraneously assume that she could come in at anytime. Thus, she saw no reason to apologise. She just picked up the phone one night and gave me a call at night while I was in class reading... And being all chatty. A girl that hardly called me and she felt I would will effortlessly accept her back.

NOTE: some of these girls attraction to you is directly proportional to your success.

To be continued!

ichidodo: @2jideofor. I feel you bro, though am pretty confused at the moment but i reckon our situations could be similar-no pun intended- I am not a gentle person more like a rough N tumble guy, hard on the outside but soft on the inside. My ex understands that more than anybody else. Could she be using that to her advantage? What if things had turned differently for me would she want be associated with a loser? To be honest with you, i dont even want to know, all i care for are my indulgences, credit-worthiness and peace of mind. As far as am concerned, i am single and loving evry minute of it.

@Madridsta,Its alright .If we all agree on one opinion,here would be less interesting and less fun.

I understand what you mean,but if you read my post again you will see where I warned her, this part.

carmelion:
Dear joy,what I will advise you to do is risky cos you might want to do it and he will floor you.
.

I only prescribed this for her cos it worked for me,yes I gave the guy full beam,he had to lower his own by force.(Still office things)

And when I said make friends with him,I meant 'friend'-more of an acquaintance. No visitations/staying alone things She has to block,as in obstruct her mind,and know what she her mission is. Else she will be floored.

@joydear,if you choose to go with my advice

Note that the first time you get close to him,the heat will increase,make you uncomfortable but when you pass that test you are good to go.

You should also know that it's forward- forward. Don't get close to him,then all of a sudden you stop. If you do that are legend,as in gone. And please catapult that sex thing from your mind pleeeeeease ,am begging you!.

It will only make you weak
If you know you can't handle this,please go with Cofoe and Cmega's advice. Use the ignore button!

carmelion: @Madridsta,Its alright .If we all agree on one opinion,here would be less interesting and less fun.

I understand what you mean,but if you read my post again you will see where I warned her, this part.




I only prescribed this for her cos it worked for me,yes I gave the guy full beam,he had to lower his own by force.(Still office things)

And when I said make friends with him,I meant 'friend'-more of an acquaintance. No visitations/staying alone things She has to block,as in obstruct her mind,and know what she her mission is. Else she will be floored.

The lady is already weak and hence has no strong defence around her. She's is gonna fall like a pack of cards.

How are you this morning?

@ cofoe,you are welcome to the thread dear.

@madridsta,am fine thanks

@ all,this issue at hand might not sound serious,but trust me,this is how adultrey starts cos even married people experience this nonsense.Men and women alike

The better you know how to handle such people the better.

The worst scenario is that of men.I mean when a woman want to floor a man,trust me,na like this e dey start.From those baaaad stares,to brushing her butts or bossoms past you pretending she didn't notice.

Before you know it,you are cheating on your partner with some riffraff.

We should learn to discipline our emotions and hormones.I believe it prevents a lot of had-I-known..

i really wish i could get more

Has anybody thought of the fact that the guy might like her for real? Why is everybody making it look like the guy is bad because she said he's a player? I'm not even sure she knows the guy well enough to call him a player. Her assumptions could be wrong...not everybody is like me but if I were to be the one in question, i'll just walk up to him and ask him in a polite way what he wants if i'm starting to get too uncomfortable. Yes, I'm that bold and I don't care that much. Nobody messes with my head, it's a NO-NO! But in this situation, there are so many things at stake and if the guy does not talk to her, she'll just be left completely in the dark.

^^,lutadoll,you might be right,but we can only respect her emotions by working with what she told us.

She said she knows fully well that he is a player

Babe,when you hear the word'player'
You need to Usainbolt sharp sharp!.Those guys are terrible

Ok

olanje: Ok

I love the pretty pink lips...

carmelion:
Babe,when you hear the word'player'
You need to Usainbolt sharp sharp!.Those guys are terrible

those guys no dey terrible any where, them knw wetin gals want and dm knw hw to giv d gals wetin dm wnt, e jst b say gals sabi expect too much and dm too dey think of only diaselves dm dey 4get wetin d guy pass 2ru to get dm. Just like police dey talk say if buyers of stolen goods refuse to buy, armed robbers go stop to steal goods na so e b wit gals nd players (womanisers).

This thread absolutely rocks!

joylayo: Hi dolls, n i shd say 'carmydoll'- i really luv ur post n i really need ur help. i really dont understand dis guy @ my place of worship,okay he is cute but am nt after dat in a relationship, so i put him in his place knowing fully well dat he is a player. but to my suprise dis guy has been giving undue attention like deep staring n so on. intially i did as if i didnt notice n i created a wall ard myself but- dolls u no se i no be wood, hence dis wall is breaking cos he would nt stop giving me dat deep stare yet he would nt call me thou he knows my no.
i know dis guy wants sex wit me but i cant give him n yet i want him to stop giving me dat look. i even thot of meeting him n telling 2 stop giving me those stupid luks, but am telling myself wouldnt dis guy tink he has broken down my defense cos i act as if i dont give a dime yet am confused inside me.
dolls, i nid ur advice on hw to tackle dis big probelm. thks

Listen , I am a married woman but I will reply you. There is something called "ignore" in the dictionary, you should look that up. The last thing you want to give a "player" is attention. You said he is makin you uncomfortable but I doubt it, if you ignored him and stopped waiting for the stare or looking out for the stare, your comfort will not be tampered with. Congratulations, he is distracting you Same way he might have distracted other girls and you falling for it means- You are falling like the others and there is nothing special about you. You approaching him will make him feel too important. If you are interested in him then say so, but a mere stare should not be the reason for your discomfort. I am a married woman and its even my hubby that notices when people stare at me, deep stares from men is something you should have gotten used to if you get a lot of attention from men. Some times you don't even notice it cos you can't be bothered. If I were to be in your place I would completely ignore him and spare him
half a second NOT. You know he is a player so why are you giving him the time of the day instead of concentrating on the preaching going on.

Your statement about body not being fire wood is telling me that you are interested in this guy for sex or for a relationship. I am a woman albeit married and I know how these things work.

If he likes you he needs to stop undressing you lustfully with his eyes and instead do more talkin with his lips

All the best.

Jenny is on point!
I saw dat post and got tired.
I get tired when ladies don't see beyond 'he's so handsome'.
.
A lot of pple do not have clear definitions of what they want.
Y shld I walk up 2 a player guy 2 strike up 'friendship' if I am not interested in playing games and being played?
Whatever happened to the word 'Ignore'??

Winneygirl: Jenny is on point!
I saw dat post and got tired.
I get tired when ladies don't see beyond 'he's so handsome'.
.
A lot of pple do not have clear definitions of what they want.
Y shld I walk up 2 a player guy 2 strike up 'friendship' if I am not interested in playing games and being played?
Whatever happened to the word 'Ignore'??

I concur

First off, a person you have absolutely nothin to do with should not be confronted. A player or non player who is not involved with you in any way should not be approached. You only approach people you have direct dealings with.

Going up to this guy is just childish. Sorry but that's how I feel.

jennykadry:

I concur

First off, a person you have absolutely nothin to do with should not be confronted. A player or non player who is not involved with you in any way should not be approached. You only approach people you have direct dealings with.

Going up to this guy is just childish. Sorry but that's how I feel.

I doubt if that guy is a player....how can a player spend more than a month always starin at u in church without even havin d courage to walk up to u and spill his heart out or without callin u since he has ur number all dis while.......well, he is a player bt not too gud a player and u must know dis, even if he just maybe wants to bleep u, I tink he is genuinely attracted to u....so u hav to make up ur mind babygal, either u try all ur possible best to ignore him or u just give him a chance in ur life and expect "anything" after u guys finish bleepin.....these are ur 2 choices, make up ur mind but know one thing for now; don't kid urself my dear, as at right now, u re already trippin for d guy so u must be bold and careful in whatever u decide to do.

Winneygirl: Jenny is on point!
I saw dat post and got tired.
I get tired when ladies don't see beyond 'he's so handsome'.
.
A lot of pple do not have clear definitions of what they want.
Y shld I walk up 2 a player guy 2 strike up 'friendship' if I am not interested in playing games and being played?
Whatever happened to the word 'Ignore'??

Thank u o my sister, me sef dn tell her to fashi d guy bt me mind dey tell me say she go allow d guy blow her. Na gals dey do diaselves later dm go dey shout say men are this n that, u knw say d guy na player u still dey fall for am wen im play u, u go equate am to all guys. Thunder go fire ur mouth d day u talk that word. Even married woman don give u advice, dm talk say "a word is enof 4 d wise" "he who has ear, let them hear" shey that one follow dey 4 Bible too?.

Joyola o!,where are you?.Advice don jabrata.

jennykadry:

I concur

First off, a person you have absolutely nothin to do with should not be confronted. A player or non player who is not involved with you in any way should not be approached. You only approach people you have direct dealings with.

Going up to this guy is just childish. Sorry but that's how I feel.

Jennydoll, Oldjenny, jennybig, carmiedoll, i think you have to come up with something for old peeps married peeps like Jenny. They cannot also be dolls na, can they? Besides, Jenny, you're highly welcome.

NNa

see dolls everywhere on this thread
e be like king solomons mine
where have I been?

*parks his jeep and pulls off top to reveal his zer0 pack*