bizgirl: Hello my family member kindly put me through in case i am wrong. I am in a relationship for over 4 years now ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ if based on my fiance's plan we should have been married by now but somethings are not really so clear to me hence this thread. i observe that my finace is so stingy.let me be briefed,i was robbed in may last year in which i lost almost 80k including my phone of 20k.this man just pet me ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ leave me to myself after which he bought his own BB.i have to buy a BB torch 1 by myself ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ when i challenged him he gave flimsy excuses. Now a month after my new BB was also stolen ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ i was forced to still go for another one without his dime again but today i saw my guy with a new i-pad worth 40k ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ since then i have been crying cos i feel so cheated. My annoyance is that his salary is abt 8 times mine. I have decided not to tell him my grievinces again because it might be termed as being nagging. Pls What do i do again.

Your boyfriend is stingy and you are greedy. You deserve eachother.

ifyalways:
I think its different issues here.I think the most important and negative attitude here is his being insensitive not really stingy.He can choose not to buy her a new phone really,but must he change and upgrade his own phone within that same period?He couldnt wait or at worst upgrade to a better phone and get his babe a Nokia torch?

So assuming she goes visiting a friend morrow without informing the dude or his consent and something bad happens,dudes presence is needed,the guy wont come/show face/help because she didn't inform him or he warned her not to go?Is this our definition of tough love?I think not. This type of guy would be clubbing while his babe is on admission in the hospital.

maybe you should read the op's post again. Lets examine other possible sides to the story.

After losing her money and phone, the man just 'pet' her, after which he left her alone and bought his own bb. What does that sound like? The 'petting' (whatever that might have entailed) accounted for nothing cos he did not replace her phone, like it was his duty. Fastforward to just a month after, her new phone which she bought herself was also stolen (in just the space one one month). Carelessness maybe? She was able to get another one herself, which denotes some level of financial independence. From her post, her man is stingy, because she loses her phone and he doesn't replace it, but buys a phone for himself thereby CHEATING her. WTF! She points to the fact that he earns 8 times her salary as the reason why its his duty to replace her phone every time it gets stolen.

I would not be quick to condemn others, as its not my duty. What is more, the story is not complete. She only told us what would support her claim. Some things are still unclear. Calling him stingy without knowing these things is unfair. If he can 'pet' her, why conclude he would be clubbing if his babe is on admission?

Is this stinginess on his part shown every time and in all aspects or only as regards her 'stolen' phones? Does he overlook her every need? If he does, why is she just realizing it after 4years?

PS: Which brand new ipad do they sell for N40,000 and where?

bizgirl: Hello my family member kindly put me through in case i am wrong. I am in a relationship for over 4 years now ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ if based on my fiance's plan we should have been married by now but somethings are not really so clear to me hence this thread. i observe that my finace is so stingy.let me be briefed,i was robbed in may last year in which i lost almost 80k including my phone of 20k.this man just pet me ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ leave me to myself after which he bought his own BB.i have to buy a BB torch 1 by myself ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ when i challenged him he gave flimsy excuses. Now a month after my new BB was also stolen ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ i was forced to still go for another one without his dime again but today i saw my guy with a new i-pad worth 40k ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ since then i have been crying cos i feel so cheated. My annoyance is that his salary is abt 8 times mine. I have decided not to tell him my grievinces again because it might be termed as being nagging. Pls What do i do again.

your boyfriend is not stingy -
i think you expect too much from him because he earns 8 times your salary but that's only half of the story. do you know the financial burden he's got from dependent relatives? i think it's ridiculous to conclude someone is stingy without really checking how he spends his income.

i could be earning 10 times as much as you do and still find it hard to afford the things you can afford! maybe the poor lad is saving towards your wedding - maybe he's saving towards a car or whatever. instead of wailing and nursing grudges, sit him down and tell him how hurt you are. for all you know, he borrowed to buy the ipad or the blackberry. then again, he could be spending his money on another woman - maybe your time is up with him.

You feel cheated? Cheated of what if I may ask? Cheated of his own MONEY?

Whats with all these lazy dependent girls, "I never Chop" girls all over the place?

OP have you ever bought your bf ANYTHING at all in the last 4yrs of relationship? But you expect him to be giving giving

He bought an Ipad for himself a 40k one

So you expect him to leave his own needs and be shouldering yours? If you dont have a BF maybe you would go and steal BB

I have heard girls moaning a BF doesnt give them money for weave on when the same guy has been paying part of rent, paying for her exams etc and other more IMPORTANT things in life.

If he doesnt have money would you still be with him? With your tone I doubt it

But to them when he isnt giving money for BB, recharge card he isnt doing anything.

Sometime back we saw a girl complaining her BF is using his money to rent an partment they would both stay but he isnt giving her pocket money and money for weaves.

What you should do? Live within your means and stop depending on another person

BLOODY LEECHES

bizgirl: Hello my family member kindly put me through in case i am wrong. I am in a relationship for over 4 years now ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ if based on my fiance's plan we should have been married by now but somethings are not really so clear to me hence this thread. i observe that my finace is so stingy.let me be briefed,i was robbed in may last year in which i lost almost 80k including my phone of 20k.this man just pet me ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ leave me to myself after which he bought his own BB.i have to buy a BB torch 1 by myself ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ when i challenged him he gave flimsy excuses. Now a month after my new BB was also stolen ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ i was forced to still go for another one without his dime again but today i saw my guy with a new i-pad worth 40k ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ since then i have been crying cos i feel so cheated. My annoyance is that his salary is abt 8 times mine. I have decided not to tell him my grievinces again because it might be termed as being nagging. Pls What do i do again.

Personally, I'm less concerned about him not buying you a bb as I am worried about the possibility that he is competing with you gadget wise. You make it seem like he gets himself a new gadget when you lose one or buy one. Are you just not relating the correct chronological order of things? Or is he insecure for some reason?

What flimsy excuse did he give initially? Also if you're annoyed about something, why will you decide not to tell him and start crying? How do you then plan to cope with disagreements in marriage?

40k IPad? I am going to return mine. Tell me where he got his from

chaircover: I was sooooooo hoping that the Dayo and Saga tagteam wouldn't show up here

Please!!! sagas wives should please keep him busy in the bedroom and away from here

i want them to come here..............

I am here already.

And I already asked what was she cheated of exactly? Or how can you be cheated of someone elses belonging

dayokanu: I am here already.

And I already asked what was she cheated of exactly? Or how can you be cheated of someone elses belonging

Wrong choice of words by the op.Scratch that.
If she has said "I feel unloved",what would your reaction be?

slimyem: Wrong choice of words by the op.Scratch that.
If she has said "I feel unloved",what would your reaction be?

Unloved how? Is money the show of love? then she needs an Aristo who would give her "love" her not a BF

dayokanu:

Unloved how? Is money the show of love? then she needs an Aristo who would give her "love" her not a BF

Where did she ask for money?
One of the principles that should apply in relationship is being unselfish and having the interests of your partner at heart which is lacking in this relationship and is the op's concern.
What's with the aristo part?

slimyem: Where did she ask for money?
One of the principles that should apply in relationship is being unselfish and having the interests of your partner at heart which is lacking in this relationship and is the op's concern.
What's with the aristo part?

See the bolded

bizgirl: Hello my family member kindly put me through in case i am wrong. I am in a relationship for over 4 years now ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ if based on my fiance's plan we should have been married by now but somethings are not really so clear to me hence this thread. i observe that my finace is so stingy.let me be briefed,i was robbed in may last year in which i lost almost 80k including my phone of 20k.this man just pet me ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ leave me to myself after which he bought his own BB.i have to buy a BB torch 1 by myself ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ when i challenged him he gave flimsy excuses. Now a month after my new BB was also stolen ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ i was forced to still go for another one without his dime again but today i saw my guy with a new i-pad worth 40k ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ since then i have been crying cos i feel so cheated. My annoyance is that his salary is abt 8 times mine. I have decided not to tell him my grievinces again because it might be termed as being nagging. Pls What do i do again.

Aristo is a man who doles out money in return for sexual favours

Since the girl wants money as a show of love and concern then thats the way to go

^^That's not "asking"..
That's she expecting support or some form of sensitivity from her partner of four years not because of intimate favours...
Isn't care supposed to show through actions and behaviours?
Some needs/expectations doesn't need demanding before a partner/loved one recognises them and acts(in his or her power) to show such partner is deserving of it.
That doesn't make one partner a leech or the other an aristo.
You are purposefully ignoring the obvious-the man's insensitivity!!
Anyone can see that in this case.

The guy already showed empathy but the girl wants monetary compensation.
She said the bf pet am but her leechy greedy asss wants money

dayokanu: The guy already showed empathy but the girl wants monetary compensation.
She said the bf pet am but her leechy greedy asss wants money

^^^^^ I pity ya girlfriend ..chai!

Aka gum!

Empathy by showing off his newly acquired gadget when she misplaced hers!

The guy pet am what else does she want. Money ole

Ori eja easy,abeg.You want carry ya money go heaven?
So,If i come to visit you with my bowl of amala and kpomo but unfortunately,i forgot my bag including bowl of amala in the taxi,you'll pet and tell me sorry,cross over to raypower and buy yourself a bigger bowl of amala,egunfe,brokoto and cow tail?
Is that not mockery and wickedness?

Leeches/ housewifery = Dayo's greatest peeve

Stingy because he didn't buy you a blackberry...na wa for naija girls.

Pls I need answers too. I have dated a girl for 4years now. One day as I was coming to visit her, I was robbed of everything I had with me. I was lucky cos I was already near her abode. When I got to her house, she was all sympathetic, she petted me. I hinted that everything, absolutely everything I had was stolen, but all she offered was her sympathy. I was too proud to ask her for food cos I was so hungry and also for transport money to go to the nearest bank and try to withdraw money without my atm. After staying there for hours, and all she was offering was sympathy, I decided to act, so I told her I was leaving for the bank. She said good bye and offered more sympathy and I left. After wandering around, I couldn't find any bank around where she is residing so I decided to swallow my pride and go back to her place. When I got there, she was eating crinchies fried rice and chicken. When I asked her why she was being that insensitive, she got angry with me. Pls what should I do?

Pls @ posted, what u just narrated is somehow unbelievable in that if this guy has been exhibiting this level of stinginess, how could u cope with him for 4 good years? But if its true, all the people critising you esp the boys shld help advice the guy in the narrative, that he shldnt be such a long throat and shouldn't be depending on his gf for any form of assistance.

Omalichanwa: Pls I need answers too. I have dated a girl for 4years now. One day as I was coming to visit her, I was robbed of everything I had with me. I was lucky cos I was already near her abode. When I got to her house, she was all sympathetic, she petted me. I hinted that everything, absolutely everything I had was stolen, but all she offered was her sympathy. I was too proud to ask her for food cos I was so hungry and also for transport money to go to the nearest bank and try to withdraw money without my atm. After staying there for hours, and all she was offering was sympathy, I decided to act, so I told her I was leaving for the bank. She said good bye and offered more sympathy and I left. After wandering around, I couldn't find any bank around where she is residing so I decided to swallow my pride and go back to her place. When I got there, she was eating crinchies fried rice and chicken. When I asked her why she was being that insensitive, she got angry with me. Pls what should I do?

Pls @ posted, what u just narrated is somehow unbelievable in that if this guy has been exhibiting this level of stinginess, how could u cope with him for 4 good years? But if its true, all the people critising you esp the boys shld help advice the guy in the narrative, that he shldnt be such a long throat and shouldn't be depending on his gf for any form of assistance.
 

Dayo? Hahahahaha! You should not have used that name as it is feminine. That was the first mistake. Second, you were so desperate to prove a point that you made this comment on the same topic. You should have created a new topic. You are not too good at this make believe thingy.

the girl needs to be told what it means to be a grown man.

bizgirl: Hello my family member kindly put me through in case i am wrong. I am in a relationship for over 4 years now ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ if based on my fiance's plan we should have been married by now but somethings are not really so clear to me hence this thread. i observe that my finace is so stingy.let me be briefed,i was robbed in may last year in which i lost almost 80k including my phone of 20k.this man just pet me ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ leave me to myself after which he bought his own BB.i have to buy a BB torch 1 by myself ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ when i challenged him he gave flimsy excuses. Now a month after my new BB was also stolen ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ i was forced to still go for another one without his dime again but today i saw my guy with a new i-pad worth 40k ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ since then i have been crying cos i feel so cheated. My annoyance is that his salary is abt 8 times mine. I have decided not to tell him my grievinces again because it might be termed as being nagging. Pls What do i do again.

You feel cheated? LWKMD. Is it your money? So you want the guy man to buy you blackberry that you will use to communicate with other men? Nigerian women are so silly. Before I go on, you better go read Chaircover's original post and answer the questions. For all we know, the man is paying her rent, but she is complaining that he did not buy her a blackberry. Go siddon, my friend..

Ok now, dump your man and go marry donatus, that will give you all the electronics you want, as well as STDs and black eye for talking too much.

♍Ɣ good family members am back o. To be sincere due to what i was going tru then nd some unsolicited insults i got herethen made me went offline. To those who reason along with me thank u. To those who are confused abt ♍Ɣ story, i want to tell u dat i am averagely okay financially, nd getting things formyself it isnt a problem, am only agrieved cos a man who claims his love for me shd be dia once in a while if not at all time. I am a salary earner of almost 100k, a small car ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ at least have a petty trade worth over a million as at then nd d robbery actually took place in ♍Ɣ shop both in may nd dec 2012 that claim money nd ♍Ɣ phones. Fine i do go into relationship based on love nd who i perceiv a guy to be nd not what he is financially. Fine we both love each other as i thought nd trust me he finally showed me who he is after i bcam pregnant for him last year nd he wanted me to abort it. To God be d glory i have a baby boy(his carbon copy) for him ãn̶̲̥̅̊đ believe me he packed out of our rented apatment unannounced when i was 7 month preg 2 months to rent expiration. I thank God i am pushing tru. To those who thk it is his money, yes it is He's nd i thank God for ♍Ɣ independency. I came here not to exchange words or gv answer to all questions raised cos that will take too much time.but all ♍Ɣ mind was being stingy then was nothing as much as dia is love. As per d domestic spending then he used to reinburse me after spending, but non of ♍Ɣ personal expenses was borne by him, as for those who asked if i just woke up after 4yrs to see him stingy, no,but how will it sound to leave a man cos he is not spending when we are not just bf/gf. ♍Ɣ conclusion is that those that have good husband should just thank God nd those who are not that lucky shd stl thank God for the gift of life nd oher virtues. But Men out there always watch it.

Please, go and work for your own stuff!
I don't dig 'dependent' women.
This is 2014, not 1850!
Thanks!

Lessons learnt the hard way.

Cheers to ur new life.

Kanwulia: Please, go and work for your own stuff!
I don't dig 'dependent' women.
This is 2014, not 1850!
Thanks!

please can you stop commenting nonesense everywhere, you are so insensitive and you will give accounts of every word you are speaking here someday. Not every everything should be joke about .smh
@op it well with you, you will be fine . You've made mistake in the choice of a partner but thank God you are alive and have the opportunity to make it right the next time.Take good care of your kid and due time God will surely visit you.

priest2u:
please can you stop commenting nonesense everywhere, you are so insensitive and you will give accounts of every word you are speaking here someday. Not every everything should be joke about .smh
@op it well with you, you will be fine . You've made mistake in the choice of a partner but thank God you are alive and have the opportunity to make it right the next time.Take good care of your kid and due time God will surely visit you.

Who is this attention-seeker?
Who is joking here?

IJIIIIIIOT!!!!
Make mouth like 'GOD'S TIME THIS. . .YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IN THE CHOICE OF PARTNER. . . yen-yen-yen-yen-yen!
LOCAL TOUT!
Can you please make your contributions, no matter how daft!
You don't have to quote me.
Thanks!

Oh God of mercy!
All is well my sister. Am sure all those who were saying you only needed his money and not love will come and comment and let see what they have to say.

Kanwulia:

Who is this attention-seeker?
Who is joking here?

IJIIIIIIOT!!!!
Make mouth like 'GOD'S TIME THIS. . .YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IN THE CHOICE OF PARTNER. . . yen-yen-yen-yen-yen!
LOCAL TOUT!
Can you please make your contributions, no matter how daft!
You don't have to quote me.
Thanks!

honestly you need help, I want to assume that your post does not describe who you are in real life else i could only imagine how empty you are inside.