Part 2 – Influences

Let’s take a look at some of the influences that can cause us to have negative views on being single.

• The Media
 
The media tries to convince us that being part of a couple is ideal.  Turn on the television, and all you see is show after show pile on the notion that everyone has to be in a love relationship. A majority of situation comedies, drama shows, and soaps will show characters that are either married or are in steady relationships, those that hop from one relationship to another, or those that struggle with dating or looking for a spouse.  These types of shows can influence how one feels about the need for a relationship. Music can be another media influence. You may be listening to the radio and hear a love song with sappy “oh-I’m-so-happy-to-have-you-let’s-stay-together-forever” lyrics.  There is one song where the singer is saying “I can’t go on if I’m on my own.”  Now think about it – it’s pretty extreme to say that you will cease to live if you find yourself alone.  I’ve never heard of anyone dying of singleness.  The Internet is another example.  If you Google the word “single”, the common theme among a significant portion of the results is dating. 

Although it’s easy to become influenced by the media, remember that you’re only seeing one side of the coin here.  You may need to limit your exposure to certain types of media in order to keep from feeling bad about being single.

• Your Acquaintances

The acquaintances that you have – your friends, family, co-workers, etc. – can also influence your feelings on singleness. It’s not easy when most of the people you know are married or in relationships and you feel like the odd man (or woman) out. This can give you the feeling that something is missing from your life, or that you are “running behind” everyone else. A short-term solution to this is to try to avoid situations where there is a predominance of couples. This might mean turning down an invitation to a party if you know most people will be there with a spouse or date. If you’re brave enough as a single to go to an event with mostly couples in attendance, then, by all means, go for it.  (Chances are you won’t be the only one flying solo.)  If not, then it’s best to spare yourself the heartache. I know that may sound contrary to what others may tell you, but it really is best not to put your emotional well-being on the line.  Of course, this is only a temporary solution.  The end goal is not to isolate yourself.  You should work on gaining more self confidence so that you’ll be more comfortable around couples.

Note that I wasn’t suggesting that you should abandon your friends.  Take the initiative to arrange gatherings with friends and acquaintances of your gender. For guys, you might have a poker night. For ladies, you might rent what is considered a “chick flick” and invite other ladies over for a movie night. This way, the element of couples is removed and you can focus on having fun and not let depressing feelings ruin what should be a good time. You should also strive to make friends that are also single so that you have someone that can relate to you and vice versa. You are entitled to enjoy the company of friends. As you progress towards becoming a successful single, you will have enough confidence in yourself that you won’t have a problem being around couples.

• Your Environment

Suppose you go into a public place, such as a store, and you see couples walking side by side all around you.  How does that make you feel?  The environment around you can be another influence on the way you feel about singleness.  Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about this one, short of becoming a hermit.  Unlike being able to turn off the television, you can’t escape your environment. This is one area where you have to learn to play through the pain.  Remember that you’re not out to be like everyone else; you are your own person.  As I stated in the last point, as you progress towards becoming a.......... Continue reading to PART 8 of Living The Single Life: Becoming A Successful Single. click link. http://coolpenny./2013/02/26/living-the-single-life-becoming-a-successful-single-part2/

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