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Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church - Religion (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by micmiloz(m): 10:40am On Mar 07, 2013
[quote author=Logicboy03]Wasnt it Adeboye who calimed that he drove for miles on an empty tank?
grin grin grin grin
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by scarletdp(m): 10:44am On Mar 07, 2013
Galaxydon1: its parable, even christ spoke in parable.
wetin b parable, Jesus always started his parables wt d phrase, the kingdom of God is like... Meanin its nt somethim dt happened for real, he's using it to explain somethin deeper... Ds one na wetin d pastor say happen, but i have notin to say abt that, but pls i hv a question to ask let someone read deuterono 14 vs 22 to 29 and explain....
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by jpphilips(m): 10:45am On Mar 07, 2013
lecturerdabo:

You don't decide for me if there is a difference leave that to me. You don't pay yet You are not better than the Dangote you mentioned. Well, as long as I don't dictates or criticize what you do with your resources, then I ve a right to that little privilege also.

Tnx.

I am not dictating anything to you, but you will be lying to me, if you tell me you don't beg from people because you pay tithe, you cannot prove that.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Burger01(m): 11:10am On Mar 07, 2013
See as people are freely expressing their opinions on MOG and Christianity without any form of "To avoid being banned, please ensure that your post is not offensive to Christianity" threat and with few hidden post even when it's obviously obvious that most of the posts should be hidden.. Christianity tolerates all and corrects all as humanly as possible.. but Islam!!! Na wahala. angry
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Melahou(m): 11:13am On Mar 07, 2013
mysticgal: op why say stupid things,i believe you have your own opinion,why not keep it to urself than spew it out.#dumb#u irritating
if u dont have any comment or contribution to make pls check the next door. tongue
must you feel happy with every post
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by johndavid1(m): 12:07pm On Mar 07, 2013
bigfat06: shocked [size=15pt]i just LOVE nairaland i kepT smilinG WHILE READING all through ALL OF THIS [/size] grin
my guy me kwa ooo i just dey laff wen ever i visit this site grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by oludayomi(f): 12:23pm On Mar 07, 2013
Logicboy03: Wasnt it Adeboye who calimed that he drove for miles on an empty tank?

#Fake pastor stories
and wat is ΰя̩̥̊ problem wth dat? If Ɣφΰ believe not den close ΰя̩̥̊ mouth who ask Ɣφΰ. Most Ɣφΰ call names 2 make ΰя̩̥̊ point. Wat is ΰя̩̥̊ problem wth ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ MOG is it faith let ΰя̩̥̊s work 4 Ɣφΰ.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by yesboss20(m): 12:40pm On Mar 07, 2013
It's not impossible just hard to believe. Whichever the case, the Lord's ways are not like ours.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Emmaxx: 12:42pm On Mar 07, 2013
oohrhii..fx:
I'll only say one thing only. "what did Jesus say about tithing" google it. for the sake of those that wish to knw...tithe is mean for the Pharisees and its becos those priest then don't have a job.so u give a percentage of ur farm produce and all. When Jesus came...it was stopped. Why do u think he was hated and killed.? Cos he came to refute all the lies told ant God n church. jESUS encourages giving..not force. Freely u r giving bro..give freely. Just google it n read ur self. You shall knw d truth and the truth shall set u free
Oboi, when did google become your Bible?! The Bible scriptures should be the only standard for true christians.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by hammedkola(m): 12:45pm On Mar 07, 2013
Super story
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Emmaxx: 12:50pm On Mar 07, 2013
okpara ugo: They will tell you testimonies of those who made a vow of $1,000 in Melwakee and God gave them a car 7days after.

Nah so i rush go give $1,000 for naija here. Anyway we are all learners.
Faith is all that you lack broda. God cannot be mocked. What is impossible 4 man is possible with the Almighty God. Our God is mysteriously awesome. Who can comprehend Him?
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Jamisco: 12:53pm On Mar 07, 2013
Mr knowitall.:
[b]I was visiting a redeem church here in Texas on a thanksgiving day.....it was time to pay tithe. in an effort to get people to pay their tithe, the pastor decided to tell a story of testimony about a group of armed robbery victims....He said a large group was traveling from Lagos to a certain location. While in transit, they encountered a road block and stopped. Then a large group of armed robbers jumped out from the bushes and ran towards the bus shouting and shooting in the air. They then entered the bus and told everybody to get out of the bus and line up beside the bus. According to him, the armed robbers then asked the bus passengers"if you pay your tithe move to the left, if you dont pay tithe stay where you are." He said most people moved to the left but a handful stayed. Then the armed robbers looked at the people that did not moved to the left and told them"you that dont pay your tithe you are robbing God so we are going to rob you, but you that pay your tithe you are free to go." The armed robbers then robbed the none tithe paying group and ran back into the woods without taking anything from the tithe payers....

When i heard the story i was a little perplexed....how can armed robbers who took months in planing and gathering weapons and man power....ambush a bus only to ask them if they pay tithe?
What if everybody would have moved to the left what would have happened? they would just thank them and tell them sorry for the delay and leave?

anyways...has anyone heard the story or similar one before?[/b]

in this scene the army robbers asked the passengers for those that carried their genuinely owned money but was only one old man that declared that his money is genuine from his pension. then the robbed the rest calling them worst army robbers that steal with Biro and lie and spared the old man. true story
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 1:13pm On Mar 07, 2013
Zenanted: u re a very big disappointment to christians ,why sign up for a church knowing that you dont confide in ur pastor.
did i tell you im a christian? i told you i was visiting a church on a thanksgiving day....OLOSI
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by digospel2: 1:22pm On Mar 07, 2013
Please, believe it or not. This is a true life story. My candid advice to those who don't give to God in tithes and offerings will surely give to satan in strange women, alcohol, smoking, gambling, armed robbers, kidnappers e.t.c.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 1:26pm On Mar 07, 2013
digospel2: Please, believe it or not. This is a true life story. My candid advice to those who don't give to God in tithes and offerings will surely give to satan in strange women, alcohol, smoking, gambling, armed robbers, kidnappers e.t.c.

TRUE STORY? SO GOD SENT THE ROBBERS TO GO AND TAKE THE MONEY?
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 1:30pm On Mar 07, 2013

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Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by chezholy(m): 1:50pm On Mar 07, 2013

1 Like

Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by kolaoloye(m): 1:57pm On Mar 07, 2013
digospel2: Please, believe it or not. This is a true life story. My candid advice to those who don't give to God in tithes and offerings will surely give to satan in strange women, alcohol, smoking, gambling, armed robbers, kidnappers e.t.c.
Paying of tithe does not stop armed robbers from robbing someone.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Hugo7(m): 2:02pm On Mar 07, 2013
ceejayluv:
I'm actually laughing my a$$ off at this post.....
keep laffin...the bible says mi pple perish cos of lack of knowledge
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by drexx(m): 2:11pm On Mar 07, 2013
clemmonce: being ignorant does not give you the right to act stupid and be disrespectful. can you talk to your dad like this? i bet you do.
Don't abuse that guy again. Do you need the holy spirit to tell you that what Adeboye said was just a wash. Na people like una wey them dey deceive.

1 Like

Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by tantita(m): 2:15pm On Mar 07, 2013
lecturerdabo: Yes I ve heard that story and also believe it is possible cos God works in mysterious ways that is why His ways are not our ways.
....u shlld b shot 4 bein dis irrational..shot i tell u.
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 2:31pm On Mar 07, 2013
Logicboy03:

That is a lie.

Many pro-christian threads reach the front page. Adeboye's sermon, TB Joshua etc.


Unfortuantely, the most irrelevant islamic threads make front page.
how many of those "irrelevant islamic" topics are to ridicule muslims n imams
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Emeth: 2:42pm On Mar 07, 2013
If the world calls me a fool for paying my tithes, then i guess i am the proudest fool alive and i will most certainly be glad to remain a fool - going by the worlds standard. After all God makes use of the foolish things of this earth to confound the wise
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Valto(m): 2:42pm On Mar 07, 2013
kola oloye:
Paying of tithe does not stop armed robbers from robbing someone.
[b] seconded.. paying tithe will not make u immune from
(1) robberies
(2)sickness.
(3)financial difficulties
(5)demotion
(6)accident
(7)death
(coolbareness...e.t.c
rather its accepting Jesus as ur lord and personal saviour..... dont be decieved by the tithe goons.. help the poor and the needy around u and u will be richly blessed! tithing is an old testament(Mosaic law) issue which jesus have freed us all through his death on calvary! the type of giving Jesus expect from us all is....
Matthew 25: 35-40 "‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 ‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 ‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ " [/b]

2 Likes

Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by samuelwillams: 2:44pm On Mar 07, 2013
I once had 5hundred naira on my account and I went to d atm, I laid hands on it and I spoke in tongues and I withdrew 3Ok,no be lie, go and try it also
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 3:02pm On Mar 07, 2013
samuel willams: I once had 5hundred naira on my account and I went to d atm, I laid hands on it and I spoke in tongues and I withdrew 3Ok,no be lie, go and try it also

LOl you had 5hundred....and withdrew 30k? grin grin grin grin good one
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Drizzle007(m): 3:46pm On Mar 07, 2013
7842I: They are not armed robbers, must be special task force of church members trying to enforce tithe paying

cnt stop laughin @ dat post.....
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Ebenezerk2: 4:16pm On Mar 07, 2013
it is true, but those robbers were journeyed with them, one of them preached in the bus and talked about tithe when he was preaching, and asked those who do pay their tithe to raise up their hands, he had monitored those you did before the operation
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Martbeat(m): 4:25pm On Mar 07, 2013
Heavy lie for dat sake
mumumugu: It isnt funny.its a big lie
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by scarletdp(m): 5:21pm On Mar 07, 2013
tantita: ....u shlld b shot 4 bein dis irrational..shot i tell u.
buhahahahahahahha... Mehn lwtmbb... Ds men nw knw d congregation is filled with mumus so dey say whatever, and r bein defended, pastors with jets, houses abroad, children in schools abroad... I seriously dnt want to blv al ds facebook prayer i see by adeboye r really stuffs he say, last nyt i saw somethin abt him sayin "i asked God to raise 71billionaires this yr" ppl jst dey tear dia amen.. Some say amen for dia wife, siblins and even dia unborn children... Got me wondering, no b ds world wey go soon come to an end... And earthly riches wont b taken to heaven... Aint dey suppose to be teachin us hw to do away wit ds earthly riches and acquire God's spirit... And if u tink der is one billionaire in this naila wey no dip hand for shit at one point i tym... Tink again
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 6:36pm On Mar 07, 2013
jp philips:


malachai 3 promised to open the windows of heaven in abundance if i pay my tithe,
Are you still covered by the Jewish law?
Re: Funny Stories Pastors Tell In Church by Nobody: 6:52pm On Mar 07, 2013
Logicboy03: Wasnt it Adeboye who calimed that he drove for miles on an empty tank?

#Fake pastor stories
. Be careful, no one has ever mentioned names in their comment, you wan CALIMED say u sabi pass everybody.

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