i need advice on this,pls nairalanders give me serious advice
i'm in a relationship and its a good one,the guy i'm involved with is trustworthy an all that,and believe me i'm sure abt it,most girls are actually sure abt the trustworthyness of their guy bt just refuse to listen to the signs when he isnt good until he breaks their heart,anyway he stills communicates with his ex,they could'nt get married cos of their religious differences bt they're still friends,not so close anymore thou.he also has this other friend who knew his ex,they were both in the same religion(ie his ex and this his other friend).as it seems this friend of his that knew his ex,likes him alot but she is married so i think nothin could happen btwn them cos of that, she sometimes calls him and sends him text that are,to me,suggesting flirting.like how she thinks abt him most of the time and how she misses him and when will he come and see her and her family.(ie her husand and children)
what really gets to me is the fact that whenever she or his ex calls it's like he doesnt want them to know about me .His familly all know me,(ie his mum, brothers and sisters) but i dont know why he hides me from them.Recently we had an argument at it,but maybe i'm just over reactin cos i'm jealous or culd i be right? pls help

i'll say confront him on this note.
That way u'll know where u stand or
what u're getting ursef into or what kind of
danger she might or can breed or induce.

Recently we had an argument at it,

@poster

when u had this argument ,wat did he tell u concerning d matter u confronted him wt?his replies or answers will gave a head way to this problem,so tell me wat did he say

ebony_x:

what really gets to me is the fact that whenever she or his ex calls it's like he doesnt want them to know about me .

It may not be that he's hiding u. I'm sure they (the two ladies) both should know ur boyfriend has a life which he's going on with. But at times guys might not see the essence broadcasting ur presence. Like, If any of them call when u are around i don't see it as necessity for him to say "My girlfriend is here o". Many ladies like to hear this whenever their boo picks up a call. To me its the heart that matters. Its only when u meet face to face & he can't give proper introduction of who i am to the ladies that the questions may arise.

U know his family, does he also hide u from his family? If he hides u from his family, then the relationship is a no no no no no no no all the way.

@poster!

Jealousy is the least of your problems right now.  You lack adequate communication skills and you are acting like a child! You are setting the tone for this relationship on the long run by pussy-footing under the table with this clown of a dude you call "your guy".  He sure does not act like he is yours so quit fronting.  This relationship might all but be in your mind!

You have got some serious self esteem issues and I can only hope you deal with them before going further in this relationship.  Here you are worring about this and that when you be discussing your concerns with him and letting him know how you feel.

BTW, what makes this guy trustworthy anyway?  This dude has the cheap potentials of being a smooth talking liar with a double life.  And you are aiding and abetting him by letting him act a fool with you.  Set your standards and please move on if he continues this annoying, juvenile, ambivalent attitude.  Nothing as irritating as when you do not feel comfortable in a relationship you invest time and emotions in.  What do you stand to lose? Not discussing your concerns with him makes you come across as timid and desperate.  I hate that!  You are a prime candidate for an early break up or divorce if you ever make it to the altar.  Frankly ma dear, you have not learned to basic principles of a successful beginning and end of a relationship. . . . .communication. Please quit acting like a "native"!

The things silly girls and women do for love!  Hooking up with mentally lazy and unprincipled guys for cheap entertainment.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

almondjoy:

@poster!
BTW, what makes this guy trustworthy anyway? This dude has the cheap potentials of being a smooth talking liar with a double life.

I was thinking same.

I suspect the guy is not telling you all you need to know. I think the both of you should sit down and have a long talk.

Frando29:

I suspect the guy is not telling you all you need to know. I think the both of you should sit down and have a long talk.

I AGREE WITH YOU

Two things first. . .
1) My Guy?. . .Seriously? I'd expect it to be my Ex-guy with all the crap he's pulling.
2) Trustworthy. . .again Seriously? Trustyworthy. . .yet he hides you from his ex? Shaking my head

I'm not going to vilify him. . .even though every fiber of my being wants to.  What you need to do bring this up with him. All this passive aaggressive schtick will get you nowhere. Men just aren't equipped to notice things like that. . .to him, your silence means consent. Nip it in the bud right now before he start hiding you from his other wife and their 2.5 children.

@poster,

STAND for your RIGHT,NOW or NEVER.

@Poster,enough has been said already.be wise and make the best decision NOW

ifyalways
@Poster,enough has been said already.be wise and make the best decision NOW

@ topic
i go with ify

@jennykadry

during the argument,he was like he thinks its only important to annouce me to people who are important,
he said he wasnt doin anything wrong ,that if he was he wouldnt talk on the phone with them in my presence,i accussed him of flirting with her on the phone. the truth of the matter is that this his married friend likes him much more than he likes her,that is really obvious,and its not like he calls her or anything she is always the one calling him and spending lots of time as much as 30 mins on the phone.he said she will definately call again and asked whether it meant he should tell his friend to stop calling,bt i just told him that whenever she calls and they get all gisty and all ,that he will expect the same cold feeling i gave him the last time it happened.


@almondjoy
you are so mean,
i posted this topic for advice,cos it is written in multitude of council there is wisdom,you are suppose to give me advice not insults do you think i would listen to what you have to say with all that nonsence in there.
by the way i dont think you read the post well,do you have an eye problem ,i have already discussed it with my guy,i just wanted to make sure i was'nt being too harsh on him.


@jkpretty n @bebe2007
of course i dont expect him to annouce me like that,bt sometimes this his friend might ask him what he was doing yesterday that he couldnt go over to her place,he doesnt go there alot and i know cos my guy and i go out alot together,he's self emplyed and i just finished national youth service for my country,
and in response to her question he could say somethin like he was sleeping or he went out,but he never mentions me,
i have actually met this his friend once and he didnt introduce me.bt i havent met his ex thou.

like i said before. . . .sit him down, ask questions now than later.
just let him know how u feel rather than posting it here. it won't help!

Busta:

like i said before. . . .sit him down, ask questions now than later.
just let him know how u feel rather than posting it here. it won't help!

I think you should listen to Busta here

him go soon start to hide from you too wen himdo get wetin him want from you _{what goes around comes around}

during the argument,he was like he thinks its only important to annouce me to people who are important,
he said he wasnt doin anything wrong ,that if he was he wouldnt talk on the phone with them in my presence,i accussed him of flirting with her on the phone. the truth of the matter is that this his married friend likes him much more than he likes her,that is really obvious,and its not like he calls her or anything she is always the one calling him and spending lots of time as much as 30 mins on the phone.he said she will definately call again and asked whether it meant he should tell his friend to stop calling,bt i just told him that whenever she calls and they get all gisty and all ,that he will expect the same cold feeling i gave him the last time it happened.

ok,well my dear,d girl is most definitely inlove wt ur boyfriend,so u had better be careful,but i wonder y a married woman will be looking for another husband in her husbands house,my dear u have to be careful,but to be frank im not in support of his hiding u,he should be proud to introduce u to whoever he associates with,be careful

thanks alot

@Poster

Your guy is maradona, i bet he plays soccer.

@ poster,

Glad all is well for you guys now. Just hang in there ok. Best of luck

Sorry, but it sounds like your guy is an immature jerk who relishes the attention you females are showering on him. He has no business encouraging the attentions of a married woman who is obviously attracted to him. What kind of man is that? I think you should take what Almondjoy said to heart. I doubt that she means to insult you but sometimes there is no nice way to say what needs to be said. And as she said, never disregard your intuition. It has saved many a girl from making the wrong choice. Listen to it. If you feel something is not quite right, then it isn't.
Your guy has no business nurturing friendships with ex this or ex that, to the detriment of his relationship. This is the time for him to build his relationship with you and gain your trust. If he has the smallest lick of sense, he would see that. As far as I am concerned, the fact that he never mentions you is a red flag. He is obviously trying to spare the feelings of the others. To me, that means that he places their feelings before yours. Not good.
Please nip this situation in the bud right now. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you expect and don't back down. If he is really your guy, he will severe needless ties that make you uncomfortable and are improper to boot. If he does not respond in a way that you are satisfied with, please consider other options and don't look back.
If you are thinking of marrying this guy, think long and hard, because it doesn't end with wearing a beautiful dress and walking down the aisle. It is just the start of a long and sometimes rocky road filled with ups and downs. Little issues like this are a portend of things to come and you disregard them at your own peril. You'll find yourself 3 years into the marriage, miserable and thinking your husband has changed. When in reality he hasn't. You are just seeing what you had refused to see because you wanted that ring on your finger.

rofl @ replies.
Honestly,methinks there are only two things that would make a man hide the current babe from the ex :
The ex babe is far more better than the current babe,hence the guy is not comfortable showing her off.Better might be. .physical beauty,intelligence etc. . . .the guy don't want the ex to know that he went for a lesser goods. OR
the guy is simply a jerk.a baby with no mind of his own.

i really can't spend a minute with a guy that is not comportable having me around him anywhere for whatever reason.lol . .don't be suprised one day if such a guy sees the ex and introduce you to her as a neighbour in the compd or his friends friend.rofl
my guy,not comfortable with me,hiding me from a married ex?fiakwa 

@ poster

he doesn't have to anounce u to the entire world, if he's on the phone with her doesn't mean he has to say ur there, respect his privacy. What do u expect him to say? Should he say to her "before we start chatting, I would like for u to know that my girlfriend is here, ok let's chat"? It's ridiculous and childish.
U say that u've met his family, well I don't think that he's trying to hide u, unless ur insinuating that he may have taken his ex and friend to meet his family too or is still taking them there.

U mentioned that he didn't introduce u to the friend when u met her, well that's the problem. That should be ur focal point, not that he doesn't introduce u over the phone.

He doesn't even make an effort to call her?

My dear why are u crying again? I think this might be ur insecurity.

Talk to him about when he didn't introduce u to her when she was in ur face, not why he doesn't announce u over the phone.

Do u announce him to ur ex? Don't answer that, am sure u'll be quick to announce him. Women like to stick it to the ex and let him know that he let something good slip away or that she could do better without him, childish thinking if u ask me.

@house
its alwaz fun to have girls fight ,really kitty cat style.

just kidding!

But really if ur guy is like that he's got something to hide.you got 2b smart, ter ( i think he's still got a thing with the ex despite all the excuses).On the other hand I know the fellas are gonna crucify me , I think he's a player! But u r too involved to notice it, but hey thats me not u.

@arielle

u've said it all

@poster

AJ chooses to respond as she does that's really her choice but the point is still the same unless you insist on some changes in his behaviour this guy go treat you like second-rate tissue paper!

He's enjoying the attention from these women and if they really were just his friends then he wouldn't feel uncomfortable mentioning ur name or letting them know you.

Howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Bad timing again.
POSTER,
Wood were dong burnt before no need kerosene to start fire again,
Any ex should not be talking to ex, let alone seeing each other, hiding u from her might signal problem,
marriage no mean anything, forgive them for the insult and handle your affairs.
And you, because you travel go America no mean say u sabi pass all
NEVADA na the only state for America where prostitution is legal
I no go say am, na u go search ur conscience