While i know that people here may or maynot relate with my tale.

I am the eldest of of my siblings and close to thirty years of age with a fiance and a job that pays about 70k monthly. my parents are in lagos and do not have a very good accomodation to stay, infact they have been ejected and given a 2 month grace to move out of the house. I and my fiance have been planning our wedding and the first step we took was to get an apartment(which ended up being a scam, after we had paid half the cost, we are trying to retrieve the money now).

Currently, i have some funds saved up, but it can only pay for one apartment. my parents have found a house which they are indirectly requesting i pay and me and my fiance have also found another house. The question now is which do i pay for? ours(we are yet to be married) or my parents(for sibling and honor sake). please note that Dad and Mum cant even raise a 20k to pay for the apartment also my fiance does not know the current state of my parents rent.

i will appreciate healthy and wise criticism/advice

If you still stay with your parents in Lagos, get a cheap accommodation for them and move in with them. Then, you can recover financially and get an apartment for you and your wifey. Pls don't borrow to get an accommodation.
Or better still, you may throw more light into where you stay now so that people can be better informed to advise you.

patlead: While i know that people here may or maynot relate with my tale.

I am the eldest of of my siblings and close to thirty years of age with a fiance and a job that pays about 70k monthly. my parents are in lagos and do not have a very good accomodation to stay, infact they have been ejected and given a 2 month grace to move out of the house. I and my fiance have been planning our wedding and the first step we took was to get an apartment(which ended up being a scam, after we had paid half the cost, we are trying to retrieve the money now).

Currently, i have some funds saved up, but it can only pay for one apartment. my parents have found a house which they are indirectly requesting i pay and me and my fiance have also found another house. The question now is which do i pay for? ours(we are yet to be married) or my parents(for sibling and honor sake). please note that Dad and Mum cant even raise a 20k to pay for the apartment also my fiance does not know the current state of my parents rent.

i will appreciate healthy and wise criticism/advice

With a blink of an eye, pay your parent's rent. But let your fiance know what transpired. May God help you abundantly.

Thanks for ur commments.I currently stay with a friend whose wife will deliver a baby soon(which means the roomm I occupy is no longer available).the accomodation my parents found is so far.I work on the island and the accomodation they got is akute(I hope anybody here can get the distance involved).f I move in with them there,it may take a toll on ma health.please keep the advise flowing

Get a cheaper accommodation for your parents first, may be a room and a parlour, and then get cheaper accommdation for yourselves.
From experience, i've discovered that whoever takes care of his/her parents are miraculously and mysteriously blessed, so, inform and educate your wife-to-be and go on with the plan, you will see how things will work out miraculously, afterall, if you truly love your parents as claimed, you wont like to see them embarrsed because of accommodation problem, fix that first and believe in God.


We can make ourselves a little bit uncomfortable because of our parents, because, they had done more than that for us earlier. In order for us to be what we are, so, may God help you, the reward that follows such an act will not elude you in Jesus name.

Thanks all, i eventually got a cheap apartment for ourselves, also planning to get a cheap one for parents too, but my dad just doesnt seem to like the idea that i cannot afford a 3 bedroom for them rite now. he thinks i have all d funds and will not spend it on them.infact, he hung up on me today while i was trying to explain why i cannot come up with the cost of renting a 3 bedroom bungalow.

people, my relationship with them has gone sour, on the other hand, i feel like its too much burden for a young upcoming man, is this feeling normal?

I strongly suggest you have a man-to-man talk with your dad. Let him know your cashflow, yes everything. Tell him how much you earn per month, deduct tax and pension contribution, your transport etc let him figure how much your disposable income is. At this rate, if you let this go unresolved, your family will blame your wife for hoarding your money and preventing you from taking care of them. Trust me you don't want to live with that all.

Parents and push push!unless u r livin a pretentious life b4 them! Is he in a position to tell u what u will get 4 them? This is somebody that can't even raise 20k and here he is demandin for 3 b .tomorow,he will demand for d latest car in town and a driver,go and invite trouble and his bros' afterall do u know who my boy is'
@op,if u can't afford it,tell him and ur mum too.

thanks y'all,i have to ensure i have a chat with them.as a first child, i know i will still pay bulk of the sum sha.cos even me i want a beta life for dem