sexkillz: I may have to remind you that infatuation, attraction, and lust are not love.

You cannot argue love while explaining to me what infatuation and attraction means.

You love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Someone walks up to you and says, "he's not the most handsome and rich, why did you choose to love him? What is it about him that sets him apart from all others? What is that thing about him, that would make you choose him over and over again? What is the reason why even if the whole world left him, you'll still be right there beside him? why do you love him so much, this much?"

And you say "Nothing, I can't just explain it?"


Lol.

uj_sizzle: We all speak from our individual experiences.

Man is selfish. When you get used to that fact, we can move on from there.

uj_sizzle: Lets not get too emotional here . Every man is selfish at his core to the point that even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness. It's unarguable love .

Attraction plays a vital role in bringing people together. You love her looks, or the way she thinks, she's smart and intelligent, yeah her words blow you away and then you can't help it but you're drawing close to her....that's attraction in it's basic form. It's an invincible force dear.
It happens in friendship, and relationships. Jeez sometimes you don't even know what's pulling you to him/her .

When you fall in love with a person, you're blinded to their shortcomings. Even when it's obvious to others, you just can't see it cos they are perfect to you. It's what love does..it washes off imperfections.
If it were to be based on reason, then when we can no longer find a reason to be there, we'll simply pack up and leave.
Reason doesn't define love.





P.S. I have classes now. My responses may come late.

luvmijeje:
Uju she may not see his shortcoming but have u wonder maybe she is seeing something others couldn't see.

sexkillz: The answer is No.

You cannot love without a reason. If you insist you can love without a reason, then it is possible to love every person that approaches you for a relationship. The reason for love, is that reason that differentiates him/her from all others.

Without that reason, he/she is just like every other person you come across.

uj_sizzle:
all she can see is that he's got some real nice attributes. But there are other people who also have what he's got and a whole not more! But do u see her going to love them instead? Nope she still stays with him and no one else.
My point is the reasons aren't why she must love him neither are they why she must choose to remain with him.

uj_sizzle:
all she can see is that he's got some real nice attributes. But there are other people who also have what he's got and a whole not more! But do u see her going to love them instead? Nope she still stays with him and no one else.
My point is the reasons aren't why she must love him neither are they why she must choose to remain with him.

luvmijeje:
What are the probability of her meeting someone else that has the same attributes as his current boo.
Arguably God himself love us with a reason not to talk of us-human.

k2039:
[size=13pt]A simple question dear.

Why do you love your boo?.
[/size]

k2039:
[size=13pt]A simple question dear.

Why do you love your boo?.
[/size]

luvmijeje:
Tell me first why u luv your current babe and I will gladly answer your question.

Mynd_44:
But wait ooo. Before you ask someone out(I am not refering to the mofos who chase anything in skirts here), there must be something which draws him/her to you. Something you see in the person that makes you want more and more of that person. At first, it might be that thing and then you find out the person has more qualities that are endearing to you and you keep falling.

If this holds right, then is it not possible that if those qualities suddenly or gradually change, you might fall out of love? If you fall for a man because he is humble and kind, if he stops being humble you might find yourself heting him.

The truth is that we as individuals have what we look for in a the opposite sex. K for example wants booooobs. And some wants intelligence. And most times, we do not know that we want those things in our partner but the sub-concious know s and when one who has those qualities come around, your defences which is built by the same sub-consiousness falls down. That is what you fell in love with. And those are what you can point to.

Thw point that you fall unconditionally is really not true and I mean romantic love here. Even among friends. You find things that draws you to your friends right? If your friends starts acting in ways contrary to what you first saw, won't you pull away?

Some one said "a reason to love gives a reason to hate" which is true because when that thing which you fell in love with goes away, the love goes with it. You can deny this all you want but it holds true.

There is always an object you love in your partner but if you know or discover it or not is left to you.

Do you even wonder why sometimes after being together some people fall out of love? Have you not heard where a man treats his wife bad but she still loves him cos of some other qualities which other people think is crap?

We are attracted to different things and those thing are attract up and keep us bounded or tears us apart.


Eff I said I won't get in this ooo. Now my fingers hurt

Mynd_44:
She cooks Yam and eggs for him. He would not admit this but it is true

luvmijeje:
Tell me first why u luv your current babe and I will gladly answer your question.

k2039:
[size=13pt]
Let me tell you a little story.

I went to a friends room, checked through his phone and I saw this particular girl's picture.
I jokingly told him, I was interested in the girl and I requested he showed me the girl(She was in my department).
When my friend finally showed me, she didn't fit my picture and idea of a girl friend in terms of her body shape, size etc.

But after a while I got attracted to her(I kept seeing her in the dept.).

I remembered my friend asked me a question when I told him I'm beginning to love this girl, he asked me why the attraction now since I told him I wasn't attracted to the girl earlier?.

That question took me days to figure it out.

After clear and deep though I realized I was fascinated about how studious she was, that marked the beginning of my attraction towards her and the more I found out about her afterwards the more I was attracted by her personality.

So to answer your question, she is smart, prioritize, intelligent, devoted to God and she is beautiful(I never thought she was when I first saw her though).

But in spite of all this qualities, my attraction and love for her is greater, Honestly I can't figure out why I'm so crazy about her because there are girls who have same qualities as her and there are others who are way better but of course I'm not attracted to them.

I figure out that if my love was based on the qualities I found out, they will be superficial, there is something greater that I can't explain because if her beauty fades, if something happens to her intellect medically(God forbid), I will still love her. [/size]

k2039:
[size=13pt]
Let me tell you a little story.

I went to a friends room, checked through his phone and I saw this particular girl's picture.
I jokingly told him, I was interested in the girl and I requested he showed me the girl(She was in my department).
When my friend finally showed me, she didn't fit my picture and idea of a girl friend in terms of her body shape, size etc.

But after a while I got attracted to her(I kept seeing her in the dept.).

I remembered my friend asked me a question when I told him I'm beginning to love this girl, he asked me why the attraction now since I told him I wasn't attracted to the girl earlier?.

That question took me days to figure it out.

After clear and deep though I realized I was fascinated about how studious she was, that marked the beginning of my attraction towards her and the more I found out about her afterwards the more I was attracted by her personality.

So to answer your question, she is smart, prioritize, intelligent, devoted to God and she is beautiful(I never thought she was when I first saw her though).

But in spite of all this qualities, my attraction and love for her is greater, Honestly I can't figure out why I'm so crazy about her because there are girls who have same qualities as her and there are others who are way better but of course I'm not attracted to them.

I figure out that if my love was based on the qualities I found out, they will be superficial, there is something greater that I can't explain because if her beauty fades, if something happens to her intellect medically(God forbid), I will still love her. [/size]

luvmijeje:
Lol.Concerning your other post,u are being realistic.
There is nothing called agape love,it is called fantasy love.Love alone doesn't keep a relationship.
If God love was unconditional,everyone should qualify to make heaven.

Popowaa: Awww so romantic.

Mynd_44:
Agape, fantasy...abeg we dey talk of romance here jorh

Mynd_44:
K is hopeless

Popowaa: He is not hopeless but romantic and lovely

Mynd_44:
But wait ooo. Before you ask someone out(I am not refering to the mofos who chase anything in skirts here), there must be something which draws him/her to you. Something you see in the person that makes you want more and more of that person. At first, it might be that thing and then you find out the person has more qualities that are endearing to you and you keep falling.

If this holds right, then is it not possible that if those qualities suddenly or gradually change, you might fall out of love? If you fall for a man because he is humble and kind, if he stops being humble you might find yourself heting him.

The truth is that we as individuals have what we look for in a the opposite sex. K for example wants booooobs. And some wants intelligence. And most times, we do not know that we want those things in our partner but the sub-concious know s and when one who has those qualities come around, your defences which is built by the same sub-consiousness falls down. That is what you fell in love with. And those are what you can point to.

Thw point that you fall unconditionally is really not true and I mean romantic love here. Even among friends. You find things that draws you to your friends right? If your friends starts acting in ways contrary to what you first saw, won't you pull away?

Some one said "a reason to love gives a reason to hate" which is true because when that thing which you fell in love with goes away, the love goes with it. You can deny this all you want but it holds true.

There is always an object you love in your partner but if you know or discover it or not is left to you.

Do you even wonder why sometimes after being together some people fall out of love? Have you not heard where a man treats his wife bad but she still loves him cos of some other qualities which other people think is crap?

We are attracted to different things and those thing are attract up and keep us bounded or tears us apart.


Eff I said I won't get in this ooo. Now my fingers hurt

[size=13pt]We have a common ground here, I agree with you in totality and in fact my post reflected this.

But if I was attracted to a girl because she has sexy legs, if she has an accident and loses the leg, then what happens?.

What if she develops an ailment and somehow she isn't fully active in bed, what happens?.

I can give several examples on and on, but my point is just that the greatest relationships are the ones which are based on values that cannot be quantified.

I understand we are attracted by certain qualities but when the qualities fade as a result of nature (circumstances beyond our control, what happens to Love?).

I don't mean one should foolishly love though, but if my girlfriend cheats on me or is unwilling to go on with the relationship, I will not hesitate to let her go(those are circumstances within her control).

@ the bolder, where did you obtain your fact, I assume it was an illustration anyway .
[/size]

k2039:

[size=13pt]We have a common ground here, I agree with you in totality and in fact my post reflected this.

But if I was attracted to a girl because she has sexy legs, if she has an accident and loses the leg, then what happens?.

What if she develops an ailment and somehow she isn't fully active in bed, what happens?.

I can give several examples on and on, but my point is just that the greatest relationships are the ones which are based on values that cannot be quantified.

I understand we are attracted by certain qualities but when the qualities fade as a result of nature (circumstances beyond our control, what happens to Love?).

I don't mean one should foolishly love though, but if my girlfriend cheats on me or is unwilling to go on with the relationship, I will not hesitate to let her go(those are circumstances within her control)
[/size]

Mynd_44:
I hate too much talk. If you are atttracted to a girl cos she takes classes serious and she is close to God and the othe BS. If her grades starts dropping, she starts ignoring church and she sleeps around would you still love her?

Abeg I wan go sleep jorh

[size=13pt]
Those are circumstances within her control and for that I can leave her. I did explain that earlier, I will only be stupi.d to date a girl who isn't making herself better or building up herself.

By the way I was watching a movie also and I need to continue with my movie.[/size]