All d listed points are true

Among all number 14 is real and common

nenergy: In addition; another sign is when you say i love you and they say; "yes, i know". #Scary

*in Celine Dion's voice*
The greatest thing you'll ever learn,is just to love and be loved in return.

yesso ...at that point, na to start the ultimate search all over again na em sure pass

Nuzo':
Lol

I was once in a situation like this some while ago. All 20 points the Op listed. And that was the first and last time I tried falling in love. At a point in time I began feeling I was the problem.

I'm grateful to God it didn't end up in marriage. Cos I really loved her.
I wouldve been a very miserable man.

i am very happy for u ooo

shymexx:

Hiya sis, are you sure?? 1-20 happened to me and I'm darn sure it wasn't obsession... It was a case of a long-time friend I never planned to go with, however I had to ask her out after smashing and she kept playing emotional blackmail on my psyche(that's my weak point and she knew that as well)...She continued the emotional blackmail thing on me for like 2 years cos I wasn't really interested in the darn relationship... and I also wasn't mentally ready for that type of relationship at the time... Anyway, cos she was nice girl - I ended up doing 1-20(in the opening post) in the last one year of the miserable relationship... till I got myself together and moved on...

Can you explain if mine was obsession, being to emotionally attached to the girl, or love I've been trying to figure that out for the last 2 yrs bu all to no avail... hence why I've also been running away from relationships... Because what happened in that relationship was so unlike me - it was so surreal that I thought she prob. used voodoo on me or something...

Thanks in advance...

Hey bro, what's going on?! Uh okay, so I am not a relationship expert or anything like that but from what you said, I doubt that was love and if it was, then it was under the wrong circumstances. You talk about emotional blackmail, you not being mentally ready and not even wanting the relationship. If all these factors were non-existent, would you still have done the same? If you really loved her, would you have felt blackmailed? Did you feel like you were under pressure to be in a relationship with her? and you had to prove a point? I don't think you loved her too much and you prolly weren't obsessed with here. I honestly can't identify/name what sort of emotional/psychological trigger that made you do all that but I would say that it all stems from the conditions/factors you mentioned. (Note: you said you "had" to ask her out,you did all that stuff 'cause she was a nice girl etc. I did not see any mention of I liked/loved her?)

I honestly think that if you love someone, you would know that he or she is an individual that needs personal space sometimes, no over protection, none of all the stuff the OP mentioned. And for me, there is nothing like loving too much. When it gets to the stage that the OP is talking about, then it has gone beyond love to something else. .

Btw, that one experience should not change your whole perspective on relationships. I guess it might be a personal fear of "losing yourself", which does not have to be the case. Thing is, I think that relationships change people (and it should be a positive change anyway) but you should not be afraid to change. I don't have the guide book to relationships (as far as I am concerned, it doesn't exist) but being aware of the fact that being in a relationship will change you, will make you mentally prepared to handle that change. If you begin to see yourself doing irrational things out of fear/insecurity and what not, then yea... time to reconsider.

BUT don't be afraid to love. (I guess it also involves loving the right person - one that won't take advantage of your love and who loves you back).


*To be real with you, I am no expert on this. Just using my head and experience.*

Sum r tru

christygenius: @ Op, its like u know exactly wat am going thru right now, infact all d signs u listed re wat am exhibiting.... It got an extent that i'll just delete his numbers and pix frm my phone to enable me reduce d amt of love i ve for him but its not working. And anytime he calls, i'll restore d number. I've even thought many atimes to just call him and end d relationship, bt each time i hear his voice, i'll just melt inside and forget everyting i want to say or d hurt am passing thru. I think am going crazy for dis guy, i just love him so much. May God help me oooo

i wud neva av tot sum1 els feels d exact same way im feeling. Ts lyk uv bn spying on me. Typical! Walahi,d shit hurts,i telya. Sum tyms i tnk its karma, Cos i knw a few ladiz iv trtd almst dsame way al cosof ds same babe

also ; if he or she distances his or herself. from your dear family members and friends. refuses to draw you close to his/her family.

Abegiii...there's nothing wrong in loving too much,if its meant to be,it will surely be,love is spiritual+physically feelings and it doesn't have manuals,so my people abeg make una love well well jo,if its meant to be it will surely be,@ op go sit down some where if dem don break ur heart,buy big bottle of alomo and the heart will mend...shikena 10 over 10

Nop, it means she doesn't love U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ @ dt moment.

Ijele-igbo:


Na true! Your own don finish be that!! It means she does not love you!!!

nice list.
very accurate...but sometimes the other person like to play the "chase me game".

Nobody got time 4 dat!

if you chase, you'd exhibit the signs the OP has presented.
So it's best to NEVER put all of your eggs in one basket.

Life is 2 short to be chasing ppl who want to play games esp. if they are grown!!

What is a REAL relationship about if we cannot love wholly and truly

Even the bible says "whatsoever ur (heart) findeth to love, (love) with all ur heart".

It is really unfair to see all this signs in ur bfriend/gfriend and not reciprocate just because "you want to have an upper hand in the relationship!"

If u are not interested or u feel ur goals and ambitions is not equal to ur mate's own, o'boy tell the chick sharp sharp and find ur way out so that she wouldn't be wastin all her love on you.


REAL Love is very hard to find, help us to give it to one who really deserves it!

I think I loved too much. This write-up points to me directly.

Aaarrrhhh, thank God I never read this article before breaking up with her on the 26th of March; it goes to show I still have even a little brain/normalcy left in my skull.
I really loved her too much for NO reason. Still can't point at a particular attribute of hers that would warrant such energy and time (minus money) investment. Hmmm, people should take heed of these signs.

Now I think the OP knows what I was feeling when I wrote this piece

https://www.nairaland.com/1234051/love-comparable-death

The pain of unrequited love can be unbearable really

@OP,
this is not a sign that 'one is loving too much' but a sign that you love someone more than they do to you and they are taking advantage of it.

In my case rule 14 didn't apply to me, Am mentally strong wiled, I actually did pull away from her (3 times) but the helpless part was that she knew deep down that regardless of what she did, it takes just a visit, a call or even a text and we are back on level terms. In fact, it gets so bad that all she has to do is just ramble an apology, whether sensible or not and everything gets cleared out.

Am trying to give the relationship one more go cos I really do love the girl but if things continue the way they are, I have an ace up my sleeve, so terrible I might not be able to say it here. It's somethin that will surely break the crazy circle.

pak: @OP,
this is not a sign that 'one is loving too much' but a sign that you love someone more than they do to you and they are taking advantage of it.

In my case rule 14 didn't apply to me, Am mentally strong wiled, I actually did pull away from her (3 times) but the helpless part was that she knew deep down that regardless of what she did, it takes just a visit, a call or even a text and we are back on level terms. In fact, it gets so bad that all she has to do is just ramble an apology, whether sensible or not and everything gets cleared out.

Am trying to give the relationship one more go cos I really do love the girl but if things continue the way they are, I have an ace up my sleeve, so terrible I might not be able to say it here. It's somethin that will surely break the crazy circle.

If you still do got feelings for her, I recommend you make up with her....

BraideBraide: I'm in a relationship like this...about 18points...but I can't leave and I don't want to leave...I just hope it will all change and work out..

You're just giving yourself an excuse to be unhappy cos he won't change. Even if you get pregnant for him.

Such people do not love you enough for you to be in a relationship with them.

Its quiet a difficult situation for you tho'.

Ijele-igbo:


If you still do got feelings for her, I recommend you make up with her....

See advice.

Wuckedi!

Wich planet r u 4rm....i mean wat r u insinuatin?/did anybody break urhrt?/are u in one nw dat u dnt feel secure?hmmm....wetin com be ur p....i tink u nid drugs.sick!

Ijele-igbo:


If you still do got feelings for her, I recommend you make up with her....

aaaah, bro
First off, thanks for this thread. There is nothing as relieving as someone giving expression to the way you feel inside.

two, seems like you don't get - its not an if, I will always have feelings for this girl, 'whether I like it or yes'. If you hear what she's done to me and you are my brother, you'll probably smash my head with a stick . . . .

(can you imagine travellin like 3 hours to another city to meet someone, based on an arrangement between you two and you get there only for the person not to respond to your calls or text ! nothing ! nothing ! until the morning you r about to leave !
Am puttin this in small case cos its rather shameful and am not usually like this, infact never been this way. Mr regular friends see me as this emotionally detached, strong willed person.)


but regardless of the pains, being with her is unbelievable, there is the surge of energy - mental, physical and every other way. Probably first time am so into someone and its not all about sex.

Right now we are back on good terms and should see each other today but what am sayin is this might be my last try. If it goes awry again, I might do somethin so bad the breach will be unrepairable

pak:


aaaah, bro
First off, thanks for this thread. There is nothing as relieving as someone giving expression to the way you feel inside.

two, seems like you don't get - its not an if, I will always have feelings for this girl, 'whether I like it or yes'. If you hear what she's done to me and you are my brother, you'll probably smash my head with a stick . . . .

(can you imagine travellin like 3 hours to another city to meet someone, based on an arrangement between you two and you get there only for the person not to respond to your calls or text ! nothing ! nothing ! until the morning you r about to leave !
Am puttin this in small case cos its rather shameful and am not usually like this, infact never been this way. Mr regular friends see me as this emotionally detached, strong willed person.)


but regardless of the pains, being with her is unbelievable, there is the surge of energy - mental, physical and every other way. Probably first time am so into someone and its not all about sex.

Right now we are back on good terms and should see each other today but what am sayin is this might be my last try. If it goes awry again, I might do somethin so bad the breach will be unrepairable

Okay then! Give it a try....... If everything turns out bad again, dump her azz

Nuzo':


See advice.

Wuckedi!

Ijele-igbo:


Okay then! Give it a try....... If everything turns out bad again, dump her azz

Am not just going to dump her, done that like 3 times and she just strolled back in using the 'power'.

but this time, my game plan is to simply 'hit' one of her closest and best friend who has serious 'hots' for me (and do it in a way that she'll know about it)
I guess that will settle the 'ish' once and for all, it actually makes me feel more powerful already

aaaah, bro
First off, thanks for this thread. There is nothing as relieving as someone giving expression to the way you feel inside.

two, seems like you don't get - its not an if, I will always have feelings for this girl, 'whether I like it or yes'. If you hear what she's done to me and you are my brother, you'll probably smash my head with a stick . . . .

(can you imagine travellin like 3 hours to another city to meet someone, based on an arrangement between you two and you get there only for the person not to respond to your calls or text ! nothing ! nothing ! until the morning you r about to leave !
Am puttin this in small case cos its rather shameful and am not usually like this, infact never been this way. Mr regular friends see me as this emotionally detached, strong willed person.)


but regardless of the pains, being with her is unbelievable, there is the surge of energy - mental, physical and every other way. Probably first time am so into someone and its not all about sex.

Right now we are back on good terms and should see each other today but what am sayin is this might be my last try. If it goes awry again, I might do somethin so bad the breach will be unrepairable[/quote]see dnt mind op thy is notin lik lovin 2much....wateva u do shows ur level of maturity ok.

The Power in a Relationship Lies with whoever cares less.....

pak:


Am not just going to dump her, done that like 3 times and she just strolled back in using the 'power'.

but this time, my game plan is to simply 'hit' one of her closest and best friend who has serious 'hots' for me (and do it in a way that she'll know about it)
I guess that will settle the 'ish' once and for all, it actually makes me feel more powerful already

You'd only make her jealous

Ijele-igbo:



You'd only make her jealous

now you get it, that's the power. She'd truly realise that she has taken things for granted for too long and truth is that her friend ain't bad either.

The worst part of loving too much is when it hits u hard there is no solution... Mugu without choice! Only if there was a knob were one could just regulate love or turn it off, cos its not always about 'loving too much' but loving d wrong person, which is mostly d case.

Yeaaa, these are true signs.....it chokes mehn!
I dont love too much, cause they alwys love me more.

pak:


Am not just going to dump her, done that like 3 times and she just strolled back in using the 'power'.

but this time, my game plan is to simply 'hit' one of her closest and best friend who has serious 'hots' for me (and do it in a way that she'll know about it)
I guess that will settle the 'ish' once and for all, it actually makes me feel more powerful already

I pirry you!

main u r absoluatly right Bravo main main u r absoluatly right Bravo main