| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by SisiKill1: 5:24am On Apr 07, 2013 |
Pataki:
I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.
The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. Finally. . .Someone gets it! Oh what a joyous day!  Oh don't mind me, I'm just overcome emotions right now. *sniff, sniff*Okay on a serious note, that was absolutely on point and it just baffling how many guys don't get this simple concept. . .I mean it is just so simple, so why don't they get it?!!  Ughhh!  3 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by 2sexynet: 6:05am On Apr 07, 2013 |
Vikin:
At 2sexy, Got it! Yes, I have replied you with the one you sent to me. Its just an update on how far I have gone and I want you to know based on who you be  . Thanks so much and I really appreciate the time. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Busybody2(f): 6:25am On Apr 07, 2013 |
As far as Tunde and Wumi's case is concerned, something might have happened to trigger the onset of Wumi's decline into that pathetic state... As for the rest of your post, it's mainly due to the ways people have been raised these days... For the male of the Nigerian specie, it's about getting money from "anywhere", otherwise you cannot put a ring on "anything", and as for the females, it's about getting that ring from "anywhere", at all cost... So there is no longer any need for careful research or due diligence, because everyone is in a race to "belong"  So what you deem "selfish" is infact "preventative measures or buffer", which is used as a cushioning effect by ladies for the future, in case their needs to be a safe-landing of some sorts... 1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by dayokanu(m): 7:46am On Apr 07, 2013 |
Maybe because some culture dictates the man does all the chasing and the woman all the forming even pretending she isnt interested 1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by tessybaby(f): 8:19am On Apr 07, 2013 |
The girl in question is definately not in love. Love just makes you do things without even knowing you are doing them. So the guy should start thinking twice. 3 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by mawuqueyan(f): 10:38am On Apr 07, 2013 |
Pataki:
I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.
The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. Oh Jesus....  ℓ̊ L♥√ع you... Ɣ☺u jst made my day wt your point  God bless Ɣ☺ΰ dear. 2 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by mawuqueyan(f): 10:49am On Apr 07, 2013 |
2 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by jeffizy(m): 10:50am On Apr 07, 2013 |
Sisi_Kill:
Finally. . .Someone gets it! Oh what a joyous day! Oh don't mind me, I'm just overcome emotions right now. *sniff, sniff*
Okay on a serious note, that was absolutely on point and it just baffling how many guys don't get this simple concept. . .I mean it is just so simple, so why don't they get it?!!
Ughhh!
we are so used to the old ways. Where it is the man's right to be worshiped. But we are getting to the new age gradually. 1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Nobody: 3:19pm On Apr 07, 2013 |
Pataki:
I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.
The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. Wow!  Standing ovation!! *Entire post is on point! But the bolded is especially on point!* 1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by armyofone(m): 12:36am On Apr 08, 2013 |
dayokanu: Maybe because some culture dictates the man does all the chasing and the woman all the forming even pretending she isnt interested which culture? be specific. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by BabaOyo(m): 7:54am On Apr 08, 2013 |
armyofone:
which culture? be specific. The Nigerian Culture! !!!!! |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Nobody: 12:58pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Definitely!!
It's always about them... Women are the most narcissistic specie of humanoids on this planet and the world will be a better place when women start accepting that the darn world doesn't revolve around them... I 2 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Emyogalanya: 12:59pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
They too dey form |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by richtrump(m): 1:00pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
IT IS NATURAL FOR THEM TO BE.. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by baby124: 1:09pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
She needs pro*zac . Besides being friends with a person and being a relationship or marriage is as different as two end of a spectrum. She has shown you who she really is in a relationship. Not her public persona friends see. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by 32D: 1:10pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Actually that is the way to describe women. Like if u are asked in a test to define a woman, just say a woman is anyone that sees his/her emotional satisfaction as more important than any other thing in life 1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by segelity(m): 1:20pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Vikin:
This type of emotional selfish woman is rare in Naija! Where did your friend find her from,
? u are not right about this, they are everywhere.infact most of them. Naija girls are greedy! 2 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by chiefbatiatus(m): 1:34pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Any relationship where the difference either in looks, wealth, status is too wide often leads to this kind of thing, most guys love to go all the wat to woo and win a beauty quenn far beyond their level, often times you see that guy struggling to keep up. I have a neighbour that thought life would be blissful after marrying his queen of a wife, the guy has been broke since their marriage almost 2 yrs ago, he runs his gen round the clock, plays nice guy with all the ladies relatives, scale-up his lifestyle all in the bid to meet up with this beautiful lady. While I do not have anything against beautiful ladies/guys, I see no reason why anyone should go way out of his league because water always finds its level.
The next reason for this behaviour in nija girls is the sheer stupidityy of the menfolk, most guys have it written in their DNA that a guy must 'suffer' to get a worthy babe so the ladies simply assist your suffering. Most guys are born to feel that the rship benefits only the man and as such he must 'suffer' for it to work. This is one of the useless falsehoods endemic in our society and its only possible in ignorant societies like our's. Even guys that have too much to offer to women still get caught up in this because of its prevalence.
So its all caused by us men and our ignorance. I knew one guy in the university then, he never toasted any girl in 100 to 400 level and the girls use to poke fun at him (in his back) that he was pretending and that he will soon capitulate. The guy never capitulated and I tell you by his 5th year every girl in my faculty were throwing themselves shameleSsly at him. Nigerian girls pretend and carry on with their falsehoods because the guys deserve it from their behavior 5 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by bukatyne(f): 1:42pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
chaircover: Phew!!! just finished my housework
Baba oyo is somewhat right. Some women think that after marriage the man is going to change for the worse and not be as attentive and so they prefer to have their enjoyment up front before marriage
there is a lot of peer pressure on dating a boyfriend who "performs" so the guy has to be seen to be doing everything or he is not good enough in the eyes of her friends.
Also in the culture that we come from, men are the ones who do all the chasing (if you want to be seen as a "good girl" ) so the man chases chases and chases with all his might and the lady doesnt have to lift a finger.
. . .the irony is that once the chasee has been caught, roles reverse and its the woman who invests all her emotions into the relationship. Very very strange cos i should be 50/50 or close to throughout the relationship This is classic! How many husbands are advised to wear G-Strings and prepare hot meals when their wives start beating and cheating on them? How many husbands are advised to be patient and pray when things go wrong in their homes? Most women believe that before marriage is their 'time' and they want to enjoy it to the fullest before shakara ends. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Angyee(f): 1:42pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Pataki:
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. I agree with a few points but I totally disagree with the bolded. Why do men always have to be the givers? It is 50-50. No 'giving especially from men'. Shey women we are the ones calling for equality? But you still want the man to give more. You can't have it both ways, you can't eat your cake and have it. It is either equality where both parts treat each other well and contribute equally or it is patriarchal where the guy has more responsibility and therefore is more demonstrative. I'm all for equal treatment. He treats me like the queen I am and I move heaven and earth to treat him like the king he is. You see, when a guy treats you like a queen and you reciprocate, a real man out of appreciation will move heaven and earth for you and you will be only too willing to do the same for your man and that give and take continues. You can't expect him to give more than you at some point he will become empty. It's like pouring 3/4 cup of water into another cup but the receiving cup only returns half the water, at some point the receiver is full but the giver becomes empty and it should not be that way, both should be full. Nigerian women need to get out of the whole he must do it all and buy all for me, frankly it's irritating and annoying. Become independent, shower him with gifts too, buy him credit once in a while whether he needs it or not, call him up when he's down and talk to him. That way if he messes up you set him straight confidently (but with respect) because you are on equal footing not keeping quiet because he owns you. NO man will let a woman who is financially and emotionally secure go. When men see you do not need to depend on them but still choose to respect and defer to and occasionally depend on them they will respect you even more for that because they know that you are with them by choice, not because of whatever they have but because you want to be there. I know, I speak from experience. I dated my ex while he was without a job and I had one, we broke up due to distance just after he got a job. He asked me back several times. Why? He always said to me that one thing he liked was the fact that when he corrected me on anything, I listened and where necessary I made adjustments. I could easily have called him names but I chose not to, I could have lorded it over him but I didn't, there's no point in any of that. He's got a very good job in aviation in an MNC and if I wanted to we'd be dating but I don't go after people for what they've got but who they are. He's truly a lovely friend but it didn't work out and we remain friends. The only reason I chose not to get back together was because distance was still a factor and I was not about to go through that again. I'm not bragging 'cos trust me I have my 'were' (madness.....who doesn't? ) but I hate it when I hear the guy should do all or most of the giving in a relationship, it Pi**es me the he*l off! @OP as for the issue on ground: I think they need to just be friends. If she is like this now she will not change if they should get married and the worst mistake anyone can make is to get married hoping their partner changes. One love! 10 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by ril19(m): 1:44pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
greatgod2012:
@opnot all women are emotionally selfish.
@post, may be they should have continued to maintained their platonic friendship, u just answered wrongly ma'am and i bet u the op would have been disappointed. Why not face the matter on ground. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by bukatyne(f): 1:44pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Pataki:
I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.
The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. Pataki, This is so so brilliant.  1 Like |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by HARDDON: 1:48pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Best as friends.
not all friends can actually date.
never easy to string both.
but if ever it works, blissful!
r/ship comes with some respect culture. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by JoanJohnson(f): 1:50pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
@OP, not all women oooo, i did that in my recent past relationship and he complain so bitterly that he is not used to it, that i shld be quit abt the r/ship and just be straight in the r/ship which is not my thing. I was hurt and had to quit cuz i am not like that, am now going to be more careful in the next one, wld that mean am being selfish? |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by drnoel: 3:02pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Read my lips "all women are emotionally selfish" This one does not cut across agenda, its is a predominantly feminine problem. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Agency4homes: 3:40pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Pataki:
First of all, being a king is not just all about servitude and waiting to be pleased. Being a king/man is more importantly about making her happy at all times. If a man is not ready to give everything to make a woman happy, such a man is not ready for a lasting and loving relationship.
Secondly, women are not emotionally selfish. In fact, women express their emotions and feelings far better than men do. A woman does not know how to hide her feelings in most cases. They are the most easy to read object in this world if you are truly in a relationship.
Thirdly, let to appreciate that changes are bound to occur in a relationship. And only an open man will accept that come what may happen in a relationship, he would love his woman selflessly and maintain a loving communication flow with her. Simply because when all chips are down emotionally......you would know how to turn you woman back on to the first love you saw in her. i suspect you are a woman. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by biolabee(m): 3:51pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Pataki:
I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.
The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!
I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!
Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!
The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced. Sweet!! I like this but some ladies will still due to thier controlling nature will spoil things..,,  |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by biolabee(m): 3:54pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Angyee:
I agree with a few points but I totally disagree with the bolded. Why do men always have to be the givers? It is 50-50. No 'giving especially from men'. Shey women we are the ones calling for equality? But you still want the man to give more. You can't have it both ways, you can't eat your cake and have it. It is either equality where both parts treat each other well and contribute equally or it is patriarchal where the guy has more responsibility and therefore is more demonstrative.
I'm all for equal treatment. He treats me like the queen I am and I move heaven and earth to treat him like the king he is. You see, when a guy treats you like a queen and you reciprocate, a real man out of appreciation will move heaven and earth for you and you will be only too willing to do the same for your man and that give and take continues. You can't expect him to give more than you at some point he will become empty. It's like pouring 3/4 cup of water into another cup but the receiving cup only returns half the water, at some point the receiver is full but the giver becomes empty and it should not be that way, both should be full. Nigerian women need to get out of the whole he must do it all and buy all for me, frankly it's irritating and annoying. Become independent, shower him with gifts too, buy him credit once in a while whether he needs it or not, call him up when he's down and talk to him. That way if he messes up you set him straight confidently (but with respect) because you are on equal footing not keeping quiet because he owns you. NO man will let a woman who is financially and emotionally secure go. When men see you do not need to depend on them but still choose to respect and defer to and occasionally depend on them they will respect you even more for that because they know that you are with them by choice, not because of whatever they have but because you want to be there.
I know, I speak from experience. I dated my ex while he was without a job and I had one, we broke up due to distance just after he got a job. He asked me back several times. Why? He always said to me that one thing he liked was the fact that when he corrected me on anything, I listened and where necessary I made adjustments. I could easily have called him names but I chose not to, I could have lorded it over him but I didn't, there's no point in any of that. He's got a very good job in aviation in an MNC and if I wanted to we'd be dating but I don't go after people for what they've got but who they are. He's truly a lovely friend but it didn't work out and we remain friends. The only reason I chose not to get back together was because distance was still a factor and I was not about to go through that again. I'm not bragging 'cos trust me I have my 'were' (madness.....who doesn't? ) but I hate it when I hear the guy should do all or most of the giving in a relationship, it Pi**es me the he*l off!
@OP as for the issue on ground: I think they need to just be friends. If she is like this now she will not change if they should get married and the worst mistake anyone can make is to get married hoping their partner changes.
One love! 100 + likes!! 2 Likes |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by Agency4homes: 3:55pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
I think most Nigerian Ladies are dead to "love"
They are in love with flashy cars,their Brazilian hair and designer perfumes and shoes/bags.
Most Nigerian Ladies got thier clit cut,hence thier bodies do not have a natural urge for a man,it is because of the need for marriage you see them in their later years getting a bit serious...Girls within the ages of 27 to 30 are in this category,but since they stopped circumcising ladies i noticed that younger girls of 18yrs old are more responsive to romance and sex than the older ladies.trust me an older lady can stay 2yrs without sex and she wont bother...my point is they see no use for romance/love-they are only loving the rich guy with the jeep who comes with all the money,so they can flaunt for thier friends-that is what they love. |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by biolabee(m): 3:59pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
jeffizy:
we are so used to the old ways. Where it is the man's right to be worshiped. But we are getting to the new age gradually. The new age of what pray tell? |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by nenergy(m): 4:03pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
greatgod2012: I dont like selfish people at all, to me, personally, when a lady thinks during courtship, its only the man that should be doing the giving, then, the lady should know that, after marriage, roles must to rotate/reverse, so, if a lady wants to be treated like a queen she is, why cant she also make his man the king he is, so that, even after marriage, the legacy continues, if doing all the receiving is equal to being made a queen, then, selfishness has set in, which i dont subscibe to at all.
For example, if the man calls to say "hi" in the morning, why cant the lady call in the noon also to say "hi"............., if the guy invite the lady for a dinner night, why cant the lady invite the guy at other time.
Relatinships should be "give and take", btwn the parties involved, not one sided.
As for me, i dont even feel comfortable when im always at the receiving end, i must to reciprocate, thats my life and thats how i think it supposed to be.
May God help us all. Kai, Wise and mature comment from a Godly woman. Walahi, you resemble my future wife sosei! |
| Re: Are Most Women Emotionally Selfish? by nenergy(m): 4:07pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Pataki:
They are the most easy to read object in this world if you are truly in a relationship.
Very laughable. You can easily read a woman only when she allows you to. Why do you think men have a had time understanding them? |
