Personally, i dont and cant condone infidelity and at the same time, i cant allow anyone to drag me into it, because, i know the stand of God against it, and also because, two wrongs can never make a right.
God forbid, if it happens to me, and kids are involved, just like this story, i may not divorce him, but i will rather separate and be praying for him to have a change of heart, and at the same time, consider myself as a temporary single mother and work hard to take care of my children, till he comes back to his senses and repent.

Infidelity, in its entirety is bad, apart from the fact that it is against God's will/commandment, it is as well detrimental to our health.

And for those who repay cheating for cheating, i want them to remember that.................two wrongs can never make a right.
May God help us all.

I won't be quick to judge the woman in that story.

What make y'all shooters think she's not having safe sex? I mean she has a lot on the line ( 4 kids), I don't think she'd toy with Aids.

I mean on a lighter note what's the big deal with what she's doing compared with 'open marriage' that's how I see it

jidegirl12:

o dun o fe kè

Nah you're the flummoxed most intelligent married woman that made the 'funny' statement I quoted and I guess you should solve the puzzle yourself. I'm 'A' okay right here. *buffers my rock*

ish!

Like I said...time will teach u. If at the stage u are now, u don't know that people stay married for different reasons other than love...then, ermmm... Ahem! *clearsthroat*

For now, u can go hit ur head on d wall beside u.

ileobatojo:


Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

Just saw this..... Like Biola Gbam!!

Tgirl4real:

Like I said...time will teach u. If at the stage u are now, u don't know that people stay married for different reasons other than love...then, ermmm... Ahem! *clearsthroat*

For now, u can go hit ur head on d wall beside u.

Awww kpele boohoo

ileobatojo:


Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

I wonder who made woman the sole moral compass in a relationship. So the man is free to be as immoral as possible but the woman must remain pure and holy under any circumstance. She is not a human being too right? The man is made of flesh and blood while she is a tin robot not so?


This is a marriage that is now one purely in name. The husband is unrepentant and has said she is free to leave anytime meaning he doesn't care whether he's married to her or not. Why he can't grow some balls and just kick her out I don't know. Whatever his reasons which he has a right to, she also has a right to her own reasons for deciding to stay married to him. If anything, that's what we should be discussing, how society and the presence of children make women stay in dead marriages.

Shebi the man is the head of the home? So his subject is now following his lead shikena! Next time he should lead by better example.

Is she wrong, yes. Would I do the same? Probably not. I think a clean break would be best too. But will I judge her like some dumb sheep following some useless two faced culture? Hell no!!

If she feels like she has the liver to do it and she feels she has romantic needs that she will never obtain from her husband and doesn't want to live the remaining 40 something years of her married life sad, depressed, lonely and yearning for something better, if her own conscience doesn't judge her for her course of action then who am I to judge her?

Far as I can see,she tried to fix things with the hubby but since he refused, she has chosen an option that works for her. There is no law that says the woman must remain the moral compass of a marriage in the face of all manners of sh*it!! Until there is equal condemnation for both people's actions in our society then I say kudos to her!!

That's all!!!

ileobatojo:
Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

I wonder who made woman the sole moral compass in a relationship. So the man is free to be as immoral as possible but the woman must remain pure and holy under any circumstance. She is not a human being too right? The man is made of flesh and blood while she is a tin robot not so?


This is a marriage that is now one purely in name. The husband is unrepentant and has said she is free to leave anytime meaning he doesn't care whether he's married to her or not. Why he can't grow some balls and just kick her out I don't know. Whatever his reasons which he has a right to, she also has a right to her own reasons for deciding to stay married to him. If anything, that's what we should be discussing, how society and the presence of children make women stay in dead marriages.

Shebi the man is the head of the home? So his subject is now following his lead shikena! Next time he should lead by better example.

Is she wrong, yes. Would I do the same? Probably not. I think a clean break would be best too. But will I judge her like some dumb sheep following some useless two faced culture? Hell no!!

If she feels like she has the liver to do it and she feels she has romantic needs that she will never obtain from her husband and doesn't want to live the remaining 40 something years of her married life sad, depressed, lonely and yearning for something better, if her own conscience doesn't judge her for her course of action then who am I to judge her?

Far as I can see,she tried to fix things with the hubby but since he refused, she has chosen an option that works for her. There is no law that says the woman must remain the moral compass of a marriage in the face of all manners of sh*it!! Until there is equal condemnation for both people's actions in our society then I say kudos to her!!

probably not? probably??
fücking hell - the fact that it's even a case of probability for you to cheat in a marriage explains it all. some of you guys have no business getting married!

@ Topic

I know couples that pretend they are happily married, whereas, they live a fake life. I now can't say if the women are getting satisfied sexually elsewhere. But I know that many marriages isn't what it appears to be.

ileobatojo:

Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

The thread is to discuss the wife's action and resolve that's why it appears that she's being called out. No one is excusing the husband's character.

Tgirl4real: @ Topic
I know couples that pretend they are happily married, whereas, they live a fake life. I now can't say if the women are getting satisfied sexually elsewhere. But I know that many marriages isn't what it appears to be.

it's a no brainer - far majority are in their marriage just for convenience. a lot of people did not marry who they really wanted - it's a universal phenomenon.

The thread is to discuss the wife's action and resolve that's why it appears that she's being called out. No one is excusing the husband's character.

don't mind the yeye fowls and their gender-bias.

jidegirl12:

Awww kpele boohoo

Just mind urself, else na hot water for ur head o.

I'll pity ur hubby n lovely kids sha.



@ Ile,

We need to understand that cheating for a man isn't same as for a woman @ least not in this our society. If she gets caught, she will be disgraced, kicked out and the marriage she's trying to keep will be over just like that. The husband then becomes the victim, while she becomes the loose, wayward housewife. No one will remember then that the husband started it.

There's sum'n called dignity and pride. She won't just be disgraced, she will also rub her family name in d mud.

In short, it's not dignifying and right.

Tgirl4real:

Just mind urself, else na hot water for ur head o.

I'll pity ur hubby n lovely kids sha.

Don't even go there woman , pity your delusional self

jidegirl12:

Don't even go there woman , pity your delusional self

Like I said earlier Jide, don't insult me. U can as well pick someone else to pick a fight with.

Tgirl4real: I would rather take a walk than let hubby turn me into what I am not.

If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy. Deep down, she is hurting and unhappy. Just as Debrief said, they all live a pretensious life. They pretend to be happy and even people use them as examples, not knowing the marriage is long gone.

Exactly how many men will she sleep with before she gets the true happiness she craves?

I'll rather take a walk if I can't bear it.

U just spoke my mind "If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy"

She is only acting to get back to the man, at the expense of her joy!

Unless........

Whoever is cheating, repent and give your life to Christ.

Its not good the way people table others' personal lives here on nairaland ( not only on nl actually, but since its here, lets just use nl as an example).

But if you give them room to do it, they will.

If they are telling lies, thats different from if they're telling the truth.

Tgirl4real:

Like I said earlier Jide, don't insult me. U can as well pick someone else to pick a fight with.

I'll insult you gazillion times if you mention my family okay?

If you find it very analeptic to your watery assertions
( about what a real union is) to calling people's family into a one on one discussion/banter then I will insult you.

See pot calling kettle black...and she made the 'rules'. Pftttt

tpia@:
Whoever is cheating, repent and give your life to Christ.

Its not good the way people table others' personal lives here on nairaland ( not only on nl actually, but since its here, lets just use nl as an example).

But if you give them room to do it, they will.

If they are telling lies, thats different from if they're telling the truth.

can you please remove religion from this matter? why do you people generally assume everyone else is a christian? a woman is using her hubby's infidelity excuse to cheat and your solution is repentance and born-again?

tpia@:
Whoever is cheating, repent and give your life to Christ.

Its not good the way people table others' personal lives here on nairaland ( not only on nl actually, but since its here, lets just use nl as an example).

But if you give them room to do it, they will.

If they are telling lies, t
hats different from if they're telling the truth.

you are right Tpia. not sure if given life to Christ will help them because some women cheat as pay back or do what their husband is doing. In days gone by, when husband cheats, their wife will cry and carry on, but today it is a different ball game.
I think women should take a walk from such marriage, I definitely will move out than do what he is doing.

In the same section some are justifying the reasons why a man can sleep with his househelp yet getting high blood pressure and throwing curses on a s3xually frustrated woman sleeping with someone else.
So a man can sleep with a maid because she cooks for him and is there when his wife isn't and a woman whose husband has hurt her and destroyed her mentally can't seek s3xual gratification else where. Lol. Get uses to it oh, this is the reality, man cheats wife cheats more people prefer to pretend than to actually be happy
Enjoy the society we have created with our hypocricy

armyofone:


you are right Tpia. not sure if given life to Christ will help them because some women cheat as pay back or do what their husband is doing. In days gone by, when husband cheats, their wife will cry and carry on, but today it is a different ball game.

They actually embrace it and resign to fate. The world is more liberated now and women are more daring.

jidegirl12:

I'll insult you gazillion times if you mention my family okay?

If you find it very analeptic to your watery assertions
( about what a real union is) to calling people's family into a one on one discussion/banter then I will insult you.

See pot calling kettle black...and she made the 'rules'. Pftttt

U actually don't worth my time.

armyofone:
you are right Tpia. not sure if given life to Christ will help them because some women cheat as pay back or do what their husband is doing. In days gone by, when husband cheats, their wife will cry and carry on, but today it is a different ball game.
I think women should take a walk from such marriage, I definitely will move out than do what he is doing.

i doubt it - you would just rinse your credit card on QVC to get your hands on "big tools".

Tgirl4real:

U actually don't worth my time.

Neither do you.. enough derailing Tgirl , Next!



Ma tan lantern yeah right

women...o women, i hail thee. women of the sun, moon, cross and sticks, i adorn you. this is why i have chosen to remain a

bachelor. Apart from the great woman who bore me, i only use women when i am Hot, may i include that i reward them

handsomely for their precious time. sorry if i come off as arrogant, money has never been an issue. is there any decent

woman? there is none.

fellis_e: women...o women, i hail thee. women of the sun, moon, cross and sticks, i adorn you. this is why i have chosen to remain a

bachelor. Apart from the great woman who bore me, i only use women when i am Hot, may i include that i reward them

handsomely for their precious time. sorry if i come off as arrogant, money has never been an issue. is there any decent

woman? there is none.

Yes there are decent women,a lot of them just like the great woman who bore you. Stop using women and Change your perception about women and you will sure find your own missing rib as your dad found your wonderful mother. It is well

Is this not the same section where the men want to crucify divorced women for not trying hard enough to keep the marriage and when they want to hear the other side of the story to justify her reasons for leaving?


Your man cheats,you leave him for it-you are crucified!
Your man cheats,you do the same-you are crucified too!

Your man cheats,you endure,pray, "scabash" and remain unhappy for the most part of your life,you are a good woman who keeps her home.

If whichever ways,one's fried so why not just let everyone make a choice that best suits them?

fellis_e: women...o women, i hail thee. women of the sun, moon, cross and sticks, i adorn you. this is why i have chosen to remain a

bachelor. Apart from the great woman who bore me, i only use women when i am hörny, may i include that i reward them handsomely for their precious time. sorry if i come off as arrogant, money has never been an issue. is there any decent

woman? there is none.

hubris!!!!!!!

Tgirl4real:


@ Ile,

We need to understand that cheating for a man isn't same as for a woman @ least not in this our society. If she gets caught, she will be disgraced, kicked out and the marriage she's trying to keep will be over just like that. The husband then becomes the victim, while she becomes the loose, wayward housewife. No one will remember then that the husband started it.

Understood. But must we contribute to maintaining the status quo? It's not right on either part and must be condemned as vehemently no matter who it's coming from or else it should be fair game for all. If someone decides their dignity is not important to them that's their cross, let them bear it.

ileobatojo:


Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

I wonder who made woman the sole moral compass in a relationship. So the man is free to be as immoral as possible but the woman must remain pure and holy under any circumstance. She is not a human being too right? The man is made of flesh and blood while she is a tin robot not so?


This is a marriage that is now one purely in name. The husband is unrepentant and has said she is free to leave anytime meaning he doesn't care whether he's married to her or not. Why he can't grow some balls and just kick her out I don't know. Whatever his reasons which he has a right to, she also has a right to her own reasons for deciding to stay married to him. If anything, that's what we should be discussing, how society and the presence of children make women stay in dead marriages.

Shebi the man is the head of the home? So his subject is now following his lead shikena! Next time he should lead by better example.

Is she wrong, yes. Would I do the same? Probably not. I think a clean break would be best too. But will I judge her like some dumb sheep following some useless two faced culture? Hell no!!

If she feels like she has the liver to do it and she feels she has romantic needs that she will never obtain from her husband and doesn't want to live the remaining 40 something years of her married life sad, depressed, lonely and yearning for something better, if her own conscience doesn't judge her for her course of action then who am I to judge her?

Far as I can see,she tried to fix things with the hubby but since he refused, she has chosen an option that works for her. There is no law that says the woman must remain the moral compass of a marriage in the face of all manners of sh*it!! Until there is equal condemnation for both people's actions in our society then I say kudos to her!!

100 likes

ileobatojo:


Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

I wonder who made woman the sole moral compass in a relationship. So the man is free to be as immoral as possible but the woman must remain pure and holy under any circumstance. She is not a human being too right? The man is made of flesh and blood while she is a tin robot not so?


This is a marriage that is now one purely in name. The husband is unrepentant and has said she is free to leave anytime meaning he doesn't care whether he's married to her or not. Why he can't grow some balls and just kick her out I don't know. Whatever his reasons which he has a right to, she also has a right to her own reasons for deciding to stay married to him. If anything, that's what we should be discussing, how society and the presence of children make women stay in dead marriages.

Shebi the man is the head of the home? So his subject is now following his lead shikena! Next time he should lead by better example.

Is she wrong, yes. Would I do the same? Probably not. I think a clean break would be best too. But will I judge her like some dumb sheep following some useless two faced culture? Hell no!!

If she feels like she has the liver to do it and she feels she has romantic needs that she will never obtain from her husband and doesn't want to live the remaining 40 something years of her married life sad, depressed, lonely and yearning for something better, if her own conscience doesn't judge her for her course of action then who am I to judge her?

Far as I can see,she tried to fix things with the hubby but since he refused, she has chosen an option that works for her. There is no law that says the woman must remain the moral compass of a marriage in the face of all manners of sh*it!! Until there is equal condemnation for both people's actions in our society then I say kudos to her!!

This post killed it!
JUDGED!!

slimyem: Is this not the same section where the men want to crucify divorced women for not trying hard enough to keep the marriage and when they want to hear the other side of the story to justify her reasons for leaving?


Your man cheats,you leave him for it-you are crucified!
Your man cheats,you do the same-you are crucified too!

Your man cheats,you endure,pray, "scabash" and remain unhappy for the most part of your life,you are a good woman who keeps her home.

If whichever ways,one's fried so why not just let everyone make a choice that best suits them?

Its sad really the double standards .....
Men have justified cheating but refuse to entertain their spouses doing same

Its a mans world

My take..

If you marry in a monogamic sense, then cheating on your spouse is to be condemned

if you are a polygamist and your wife is aware, then cheating on your man is wrong

armyofone:


you are right Tpia. not sure if given life to Christ will help them because some women cheat as pay back or do what their husband is doing. In days gone by, when husband cheats, their wife will cry and carry on, but today it is a different ball game.
I think women should take a walk from such marriage, I definitely will move out than do what he is doing.

whoever this thread applies to, should repent and turn to Christ.

That's all i have to say.

its unfortunate people will rather listen to advice from those who want to destroy them, than do what will be of more benefit to them personally even if it looks hard.

biolabee:
This post killed it!
JUDGED!!

ileobatojo's long-winded missive is filled with hypocrisy.

she cannot judge this woman because if the woman's conscience is right with what she's doing then who is ileoba to judge her? this would have been a good point had ileoba not judged hundreds of men in the past with the same infidelity act. did she check their conscience before judging them?

what peeves me about this section is the bias against the men. when a man misbehaves, nobody tends to blame his partner for it. he's a man and he should shoulder his responsibilities. however, when a woman misbehaves - the accusing finger points straight to her husband. all manners of excuses and conjectures would be thrown in the air. the husband must have done something to make the wife misbehave is just a truckload of bullshyte!