biolabee:

I don't think at any point I mentioned any exclusion of fidelity

Then why your question 'if a woman would stay if her husband does his duty but has a steady mistress?'

Can a husband be truly said to be doing his duty if he's unfaithful to his wife?

bukatyne:

Then why your question 'if a woman would stay if her husband does his duty but has a steady mistress?'

Can a husband be truly said to be doing his duty if he's unfaithful to his wife?

I was trying to get a sense of relative tolerance by ladies
Each gave their own tolerance factor based on their own experiences or as we call it 'risk appetite'


On your second question, you will have to answer me as a lady because I have answered the question in my posts where I made reference to monogamy vs polygamy dichotomy


You seem to have quoted me out of context

biolabee:

I was trying to get a sense of relative tolerance by ladies
Each gave their own tolerance factor based on their own experiences or as we call it 'risk appetite'


On your second question, you will have to answer me as a lady because I have answered the question in my posts where I made reference to monogamy vs polygamy dichotomy


You seem to have quoted me out of context

I can't cope with nos 2 and 3.

No 1 will ruin the relationship and special bond we have and it'll take a conscious effort to build it again.

Everybody have their flaws and thresholds.

I can't stomach a cheating or abusive husband.

bukatyne:

I can't cope with nos 2 and 3.

Me neither. Which is why I said 3 leads 2 only by a whisker. I rank 3 as the worst for the plain nastiness/disgust factor. 2 is extremely unpalatable to me, why does he need a steady mistress? How can you claim to love me when you need another steady mistress? The way I see it, having 1 steady mistress means you are sharing your heart with her and I have no interest in dealing with that. Also how can I tolerate knowing that when you get off my bed, you are going to go poke your 'something' into another woman's genitals only to come back to me the next day, or even the next hour. Yuck!


Interestingly, I had this argument when I was younger and I remember strongly rating 2 above 3 and the person I was arguing with couldn't understand why. I don't know the reason for the slight shift though in my stance though...

This thread is pretentious sha . . . half the outrage is cos she's a woman! I'm fairly certain a man won't get this much judgement.

Me, I believe what goes around comes around, cheat and get cheated on . . simple!

Could she have walked out on the marriage, yes . . but why should she? The same reasoning goes to him. If he's tired of the marriage he should walk out and not expose his wife to STDs and disrespect his family.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander!

bukatyne:

I can't cope with nos 2 and 3.

No 1 will ruin the relationship and special bond we have and it'll take a conscious effort to build it again.

Everybody have their flaws and thresholds.

I can't stomach a cheating or abusive husband.

Thanks for the response
I appreciate the honesty of some of the respondents here though I am a bit concerned about the impact of a seperated home on the children and finances

In the West, some couples still have to live together in a loveless marriage because they cant afford to sell the home due to the recession and any proceeds may not be enough to live seperately

The matter tire me sef

May God Help Us All

ileobatojo: Me neither. Which is why I said 3 leads 2 only by a whisker. I rank 3 as the worst for the plain nastiness/disgust factor. 2 is extremely unpalatable to me, why does he need a steady mistress? How can you claim to love me when you need another steady mistress? The way I see it, having 1 steady mistress means you are sharing your heart with her and I have no interest in dealing with that. Also how can I tolerate knowing that when you get off my bed, you are going to go poke your 'something' into another woman's Cores only to come back to me the next day, or even the next hour. Yuck!


Interestingly, I had this argument when I was younger and I remember strongly rating 2 above 3 and the person I was arguing with couldn't understand why. I don't know the reason for the slight shift though in my stance though...

Nice response. Learning more about the female psyche

There was a discussion i had with some ladies offline and the gist was that

They prefer their spouses have s.ex partners than one dedicated mistress..
Any thoughts on this?? House

biolabee:

Thanks for the response
I appreciate the honesty of some of the respondents here though I am a bit concerned about the impact of a seperated home on the children and finances

In the West, some couples still have to live together in a loveless marriage because they cant afford to sell the home due to the recession and any proceeds may not be enough to live seperately

The matter tire me sef

May God Help Us All

Some children start to really live after their parents are separated.

bukatyne:

Some children start to really live after their parents are separated.

Please may i ask what do you mean?
I know some children from seperated homes and they are cool lads

biolabee:

Please may i ask what do you mean?
I know some children from seperated homes and they are cool lads

You are collobrating my point.

I don't know where people get the fallacious idea that all children from broken homes are bitter or sad or failures.

An average home is already single parented with an absentee father. I also don't know how a home filled with bitterness and pain is better than a peaceful home with a single parent.

I guess it's the suffering and smiling attitude that let us hold on to things no longer existing.

A lot of homes are not conducive for living hence that's why we have a lot of bitter and psycho people around.

bukatyne:

You are collobrating my point.

I don't know where people get the fallacious idea that all children from broken homes are bitter or sad or failures.

An average home is already single parented with an absentee father. I also don't know how a home filled with bitterness and pain is better than a peaceful home with a single parent.

I guess it's the suffering and smiling attitude that let us hold on to things no longer existing.

A lot of homes are not conducive for living hence that's why we have a lot of bitter and psycho people around.

hmm,,,,, I get your point but cannot see the value of a single parent home
It is alien to me

Sorry

slimyem: As far as the husband is concerned,she's in hell.
I'm guessing he knows already and doesn't care.
The story didn't even mention that its a secret

Oh really? Hmmmm......

No matter how promiscuous a married Nigerian man is, he cannot stomach the thoughts of his wife being humped by another man. Except they both (man & wife) agreed to an open swinging relationship.

biolabee:

Nice response. Learning more about the female psyche

There was a discussion i had with some ladies offline and the gist was that

They prefer their spouses have s.ex partners than one dedicated mistress..
Any thoughts on this?? House

Simple!

A dedicated mistress is almost equals to having a second wife.

Secondly, a dedicated mistress will most likely have a love child for ur hubby.

Women don't love competition.

Tgirl4real:
Simple!

A dedicated mistress is almost equals to having a second wife.

Secondly, a dedicated mistress will most likely have a love child for ur hubby.

Women don't love competition.

but competition is good - it brings out the best of the competitors. the man wins cos the women would be bent in outfoxing each other.

Critizing her isn't right.u neva can feel d pain she went tru al those times except ure in her shoes..truly I don't blame her..*nd y on earth shud d man be praised?..let her have her hapynez d way she wants it,she deserves to b hapy n alive.my advice is for her to b careful and stay alive for her kids..men are nt worth living and dying for...

coogar:

but competition is good - it brings out the best of the competitors. the man
wins cos the women would be bent in outfoxing each other.

Hehehehe

Left to me, na OYO dat man dey o. As a matter of fact, he will be the one on his toes to convince me the woman isn't taking my place. He has to put in extra effort to manage 2 women effectively, else...

ileobatojo:

Me neither. Which is why I said 3 leads 2 only by a whisker. I rank 3 as the worst for the plain nastiness/disgust factor. 2 is extremely unpalatable to me, why does he need a steady mistress? How can you claim to love me when you need another steady mistress? The way I see it, having 1 steady mistress means you are sharing your heart with her and I have no interest in dealing with that. Also how can I tolerate knowing that when you get off my bed, you are going to go poke your 'something' into another woman's genitals only to come back to me the next day, or even the next hour. Yuck!

Hmmm... True!

Mehn! Doing a good soul search, dat home will really not be d same for some time except I don't know about it.

But 2 is still far better and more acceptable than 3. They can't be on the same level.

Interestingly, I had this argument when I was younger and I remember strongly rating 2 above 3 and the person I was arguing with couldn't understand why. I don't know the reason for the slight shift though in my stance though...

May be u have become stingy now that u are older.

Tgirl4real:
Hehehehe

Left to me, na OYO dat man dey o. As a matter of fact, he will be the one on his toes to convince me the woman isn't taking my place. He has to put in extra effort to manage 2 women effectively, else...

most men are good managers and they can multitask effectively. we do this man-management on a daily basis in our professions - why would it be difficult to apply the same principle with women?

Tgirl4real:

May be u have become stingy now that u are older.

Lol!

Tgirl4real:

Simple!

A dedicated mistress is almost equals to having a second wife.

Secondly, a dedicated mistress will most likely have a love child for ur hubby.

Women don't love competition.

thanks for your response


@All, I have enjoyed the frank aand intelligent responses so far
Family Section is till on top

not really, you see why men don't live long? unnecessary stress, such as allowing little johnny to take control his big head

coogar:

but competition is good - it brings out the best of the competitors. the man wins cos the women would be bent in outfoxing each other.

armyofone: not really, you see why men don't live long? unnecessary stress, such as allowing little johnny to take control his big head

"little" johnny is the only reason men live....
so what you consider little is not really little. if you want to hurt any man, speak ill of his johnny and watch him snarl at you.

men don't live long? says who?
the reason men don't live long has nothing to do with polying. there are various other factors. men actually lived long when polygamy was the fad. moses, abraham, jacob, david, etc all spent about 150 years each before they gave up the ghost!

coogar:

"little" johnny is the only reason men live....
so what you consider little is not really little. if you want to hurt any man, speak ill of his johnny and watch him snarl at you.

men don't live long? says who?
the reason men don't live long has nothing to do with polying. there are various other factors. men actually lived long when polygamy was the fad. moses, abraham, jacob, david, etc all spent about 150 years each before they gave up the ghost!

Maybe that was then... with economic realities as they are
A poor man will die with polygamy

biolabee:
Maybe that was then... with economic realities as they are
A poor man will die with polygamy

a poor man will die with monogamy as well.

thank you, just leave cougar to continue dilly dallying around

biolabee:

Maybe that was then... with economic realities as they are
A poor man will die with polygamy

coogar:

"little" johnny is the only reason men live....
so what you consider little is not really little. if you want to hurt any man, speak ill of his johnny and watch him snarl at you.

men don't live long? says who?
the reason men don't live long has nothing to do with polying. there are various other factors. men actually lived long when polygamy was the fad. moses, abraham, jacob, david, etc all spent about 150 years each before they gave up the ghost!

so freaking hilarious, you are something else.

armyofone:
thank you, just leave cougar to continue dilly dallying around

so freaking hilarious, you are something else.

there's no dilly-dallying here.....
managing wives shouldn't be a big task for men who head conglomerates with 20-150 staff members working under them.

coogar:

there's no dilly-dallying here.....
managing wives shouldn't be a big task for men who head conglomerates with 20-150 staff members working under them.

Thats what its about.. A money matter

A poor man will manage with monogamy while a polygamic poor man has his essential expenditure doubled

biolabee:
Thats what its about.. A money matter

A poor man will manage with monogamy while a polygamic poor man has his essential expenditure doubled

what if one of his wives is actually doing well? where do people get this idea that a poor polygamist cannot get a wife that is financially out of his league?

coogar:

what if one of his wives is actually doing well? where do people get this idea that a poor polygamist cannot get a wife that is financially out of his league?

Good point...why would a woman use her money to sponsor not only her polygamic husband but the brood of the other wife and her rival too..?!

biolabee:
Good point...why would a woman use her money to sponsor not only her polygamic husband but the brood of the other wife and her rival too..?!

ask simbiat abiola(MKO's first wife)
it was in her house abiola first ate "white rice". go and read his autobiography. whatever abiola became later was through her influence and she supported abiola having as many wives and as many babymommas his sëxual appetite could handle.

coogar:

a poor man will die with monogamy as well.

Lol

coogar:

most men are good managers and they can multitask effectively. we do this man-management on a daily basis in our professions - why would it be difficult to apply the same principle with women?

Ok O.

Hmm... I doubt managing a biz empire is same as managing a home or managing 2 wives.

U can fire a staff as u please, but u can't just do the same to your wife. Remember, emotions are involved o.