biolabee:

thanks for your response...
the issue is usually is it a one time ting or will he fail again in the future..

may God help us all

Well, 1 time, 2x, 3x...is already turning to No.3. It means he is a philanderer.

I think polyG is not not the issue here too.

philanders are, maybe take that part off bros.

Tgirl4real:

Well, 1 time, 2x, 3x...is already turning to No.3. It means he is a philanderer.

I get.. that question is the main reason why some women advocate no forgiveness

i think this issue also stems from the way the genders perceive se.xual indiscretions

Men see it as just physical stuff and just a port to dump their stress while women typically engage their emotions in the whole process hence almost like you have deserted your husband....

May God help us all

armyofone: I think polyG is not not the issue here too.

philanders are, maybe take that part off bros.

philandering is wrong,, no doubt

if u are a philander and your wife cheats on you, society is still harsher on the woman

biolabee:
philandering is wrong,, no doubt

if u are a philander and your wife cheats on you, society is still harsher on the woman

what makes a man philander? the truth is not far from the answer to the question.

taryour: To all the women in the house who sees nothing wrong in what d woman is doing,don't you all think the kids between the couple should b considered? How it will affect their growing up and how they will be talked about in public and their friends and neighbors will make jest of them and calling their mother a slut They wunt even be able to boast of their mother outside their home cause a they know their mother is a Married Slut.. Luckily for such woman she will have all girls,then she shouldn't complain if they start sleeping around at the age of 14 or even open their legs for their own father to penetrate.

Yes it is very wrong for a man to cheat his woman but a woman doing same because are hubby does is disgusting and unjustifiable. A cheating father is already a bad model to his kids,should the mother also join in being a bad model as well

Jeedus!!

coogar:

what makes a man philander? the truth is not far from the answer to the question.

a man who has mutiple women....

biolabee:
a man who has mutiple women....

that's not the question, biolabee
the man is a philanderer - the act itself is philandering. so what pushes a man to philander?

coogar:

i doubt it - you would just rinse your credit card on QVC to get your hands on "big tools".

you are funny.

coogar:

that's not the question, biolabee
the man is a philanderer - the act itself is philandering. so what pushes a man to philander?

that one get as e be,,, see quote below
the rate of straying you see nowadays.. at times i wonder if really men were meant to be monogamous,,, sorry o

damiso: If i would judge a married woman cheating then i would judge a married man as well.Simples.As has been said by most people alot of men dont have a valid reason to cheat on their wives and they do anyway.Also though not in the OP case,some married women cheat for not so valid reasons either.

If you are indeed intune with each other you would realise your wife is cheating and vice versa.If you are a close couple there would be signs and that shows a symptom of a deeper problem.

As long as people can peddle the myth that men cheat for the following reasons(and not due to a lack of self control):

She let herself go.I married her a size 10 she is now 16(like he still has six pack)

She does not respect me

She does not cook good food.

She nags i had to find peace outside.

She is not good in bed etc

And so many other stupid reasons that can be worked through with communication(esp that useless food line),then women too can cheat for a load of other reasons i.e He is not romantic,He does not have ambition,He is a workaholic etc.

I am not in any way accepting the womans excuses as well just saying that its wrong for women to share the blame in their men cheating(which the african society often does with the annoying line maybe you pushed him out) and then men are exonerated when the wives do the same.

biolabee:

I get.. that question is the main reason why some women advocate no forgiveness

i think this issue also stems from the way the genders perceive se.xual indiscretions

Men see it as just physical stuff and just a port to dump their stress while women typically engage their emotions in the whole process hence almost like you have deserted your husband....

May God help us all

U are right.

Someone like me can't be committed to 2 guys at d same tym. I will rather (and surely) leave one for the other, hence cheating isn't an option for me.

coogar:

that's not the question, biolabee
the man is a philanderer - the act itself is philandering. so what pushes a man to philander?

oh oh, that's what you want to do? put the blame of philandering on the woman? where is his conscience to help him decide what's right or wrong?
you eh? unless I got it all wrong but

coogar:

that's not the question, biolabee
the man is a philanderer - the act itself is philandering. so what pushes a man to philander?

Some men are simply irresponsible.

Tgirl4real:

U are right.

Someone like me can't be committed to 2 guys at d same tym. I will rather (and surely) leave one for the other, hence cheating isn't an option for me.

Traditionally women have never stomached rivals due to the fact that it affected them economically
But with modernisation and increased financial power... seems they still cant stoach it

Like madam says, May God help us All.

slimyem: Jeedus!!

You are there screaming Jeedus!! If it were to happen to you(God forbid) would you have acted like that woman in the story and not consider your children and their future
No offense intended,just a question.

armyofone:
oh oh, that's what you want to do? put the blame of philandering on the woman? where is his conscience to help him decide what's right or wrong?
you eh? unless I got it all wrong but

women blame men for infidelity like this woman has done. how do we know for sure that men are not pushed by their partners to cheat? men don't generally whine about these things - they just go out there and find a suitable partner.

Tgirl4real:
Some men are simply irresponsible.

hmmmm

biolabee:

Traditionally women have never stomached rivals due to the fact that it affected them economically
But with modernisation and increased financial power... seems they still cant stoach it

Like madam says, May God help us All.

No! They didn't know they had a choice then. Lol

Woman are more independent minded now. Funny though, millions all over d world still stay for different reasons.

Like Armyofone said, it's not about PolyG, but philandering.

Tgirl4real:

No! They didn't know they had a choice then. Lol

Woman are more independent minded now. Funny though, millions all over d world still stay form different reasons.

Like Armyofone said, it's not about PolyG, but philandering.

As i said,some one i know a man stayed with his wife.. most likely because of the kids (about 3)
So some will stay.. im sure 95% of men will leave except there is a deep secret (impotence or sth else)
More women will stay because of economic reasons, society does not see it as a big deal, also for the kids

taryour:


You are there screaming Jeedus!! If it were to happen to you(God forbid) would you have acted like that woman in the story and not consider your children and their future
No offense intended,just a question.

Your absurd analysis of the situation is the reason for my exclamation.You make the whole thing sound like "cheating" is done in public and the whole village gets to know of it the moments it starts.
The only thing ice you didn't put on it is that stick and stones would be hurled at the children for their parents' indiscretion.It doesn't play out as horribly as you make it sound.The children might not even be aware of what's going on for as long as possible talk less their friends taunting them with it.

slimyem: Your absurd analysis of the situation is the reason for my exclamation.You make the whole thing sound like "cheating" is done in public and the whole village gets to know of it the moments it starts.
The only thing ice you didn't put on it is that stick and stones would be hurled at the children for their parents' indiscretion.It doesn't play out as horribly as you make it sound.The children might not even be aware of what's going on for as long as possible talk less their friends taunting them with it.

Now you make me laugh in spanish, you think when a woman begins to cheat on her hubby openly,the next door neighbor wunt get to know about it?? My dear that's were the news begins to spread like wide fire and you start hearing them whisper it even to the woman's hearing. Or do you think kids are so dump they don't know what's going on between their parents. No matter how much a woman trys to hide such dirty act,it will definitely come out openly sooner than she expected it.

taryour:

Now you make me laugh in spanish, you think when a woman begins to cheat on her hubby openly,the next door neighbor wunt get to know about it?? My dear that's were the news begins to spread like wide fire and you start hearing them whisper it even to the woman's hearing. Or do you think kids are so dump they don't know what's going on between their parents. No matter how much a woman trys to hide such dirty act,it will definitely come out openly sooner than she expected it.

Understand that i am not explicitly defending this woman's actions but if this is the angle you are pursuing as a reason not to retailiate on her husband by doing the same thing he is,it can be waved down.
Cheats usually are discreet and except you are a partner looking to catch them or they are doing it close to home,your presumptions are goofy IMO.

biolabee:

well...



it does not always work like that though women will like it for thunder and brimstone to fall
i know a guy that took his wife in after she messed up maybe due to the kids... but he is an exception
will i do same.. i dont know

Do i expect my wife to leave me if i transgress.. she may she may not
God knows but i dont want to try it

I have a question for the women in the house

Are these sins the same to yo, rate in order of 'worst-ness'
1. A man has a fling once
2. A man has a steady mistress and does not neglect his home duties
3. A serial philanderer like the man in the post

Will you throw away your marriage because of these

Hi,

There is no marriage when either party cheats...

I don't know what you mean by a man having a steady mistress and still doing his duties at home.

bukatyne:

Hi,

There is no marriage when either party cheats...

I don't know what you mean by a man having a steady mistress and still doing his duties at home.

ok

Tgirl4real: I would rather take a walk than let hubby turn me into what I am not.

If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy. Deep down, she is hurting and unhappy. Just as Debrief said, they all live a pretensious life. They pretend to be happy and even people use them as examples, not knowing the marriage is long gone.

Exactly how many men will she sleep with before she gets the true happiness she craves?

I'll rather take a walk if I can't bear it.

If I saw this earlier, I wouldn't have bothered commenting on the thread in the first place.

coogar:

half bread is better than nothing for some people
if she manages to get one of her aches cured then she's in a much better position. i think i need to start a business in naija - strictly for married women that need to wipe away their pains.

Lol go sitdon joo. business Ko. God forbid this happened to me, I would tie my womb and conceive no more. Then I will push for independence by having a career if I had none.....and kiss his azz good bye.

One of em reasons why I don't believe in being a housewife. Who knows the amount of crap this woman might have gone through (prior to her cheating) . This kain man might spend his money more on condoms than on his family.

Mehn!!if that keeps you sane,who am I to judge??








I still think this woman should rather take a walk instead of stealing what freedom can grant her.like I always say,any woman that smiles amidst infidelity is probably not faithful herself.Women don't really forgive infidelity,they rarely do,they can only pretend to.....on a good dAy,you ll sure have it coming.

bukatyne:

Hi,

There is no marriage when either party cheats...

I don't know what you mean by a man having a steady mistress and still doing his duties at home.

There reAlly is no marriAge where infidelity abounds.....you re very much on point.

Na wah oh..... Some people don't know that what they do affects their children and grandchildren and great grand children. Curse follow, disease follow and other iniquities.... Omasheeeee ohhhhhhh.

byvan:


There reAlly is no marriAge where infidelity abounds.....you re very much on point.

It's really amazing people think it's ok if a man cheats or has a steady mistress as long as he's performing his duties at home.

This now births the question:


What is a man's duty at home?(i.e. to his wife, children)

bukatyne:

It's really amazing people think it's ok if a man cheats or has a steady mistress as long as he's performing his duties at home.

This now births the question:


What is a man's duty at home?(i.e. to his wife, children)

A mans duty in my words is to be a dutiful husband to his wife, loving father to the kids; protect and shelter them and ensure the family achieves their potential.

Its more than this but a lot of males learn from their fathers

biolabee:

A mans duty in my words is to be a dutiful husband to his wife, loving father to the kids; protect and shelter them and ensure the family achieves their potential.

Its more than this but a lot of males learn from their fathers

And you think this duty excludes fidelity and faithfulness?

bukatyne:

And you think this duty excludes fidelity and faithfulness?

I don't think at any point I mentioned any exclusion of fidelity