Do guys hold themselves to the same standards of fidelity they require from their partners?

And what really quallifies as cheating.

Last December while visiting my boyfriend I had a night out with my girls and I met this gorgeous guy. Tall, dark and handsome french speaking lad. He was soo taken and very respectful at the sametime. We had a chat and he gave me his number coz I really never give out my number to guys. The guys and his friends decided to join our table and we just chatted and loughed the whole evening. A friend of his was into my friend and them being from the same city got close and became friends. She without my concern gave this guy my number. He kept on calling and asking when I am coming back again. Since they were now friends with my friends I chatted back and told him when i was visiting again.

When we first met i told them I was visiting my friend, i did not think it was their business to know that I am visiting my boyfriend. So when I went back he kept on calling requesting that we meet. I was not mobile and for some reason my boyfriend did not offer me the use of his second car but prefered to drop and pick me up wherever I wanted to go. So i told this guy to stop calling becouse i was not going to see him. He took it hard that I was ignoring him and I explained that I was immobile and any way my situation was complicated than what he knew. We stopped communicating.

Fastforward to now; He had called after a few months and I told him that I was in a relationship and when we met I was visiting my boyfriend. Hewas shocked and hurt but I told thats what it is and I wanted him to know. He later called and asked how can he replace him? I told him am not sure that possible. But we started chatting on the phone and whatsapp. He doesn't want to let go and I am enjoying the attention lately couse I feel my boyfriend is not attentive lately.

So we talk and he tells me how much he likes me and would like to see me again to prove his intention blah, blah, blah!. My issues are that I feel guilty for enjoying this guys chats too much. I miss him if he does not call. He requested my pic and i sent him a head shot. I know its arggggg. But now I am feeling like I am cheating on my boyfriend?

So my dear NLers whats your take on this? I sometimes justify this by saying maybe my boyfriend also has chats and calls other ladies or even take it further couse we are in long distance relarionship. I know its really far fetched but i do use that to enjoy these chats.

Do you think I am playing with fire? I know though that I never double date becouse I am just too transparent to pull it through.

Please tell this story to us after he has fuuucked your puuuussyy.

be Faithful until it becomes undeserving

Let's break this down, you had a boyfriend before you met this guy in question. Fine.

You both started talking/chatting, you were/are always enjoying his chats. Not bad.

He didn't know you had a boyfriend when you met him and you later let him know. It didn't go well with him- quite normal. And he wants to replace your boyfriend even when your bf isn't dead. I don't blame him, he's probably into you.

You're now notice your boyfriend hasn't been giving you attention. Babe, its not that. You need an excuse to cheat on your boyfriend and you've created one already.

Because you enjoy this guy's company so much, you're blinded to the fact that you have a boyfriend which normally is quite normal. When you get something new, the old things you have don't look attractive anymore. The thing is you're letting yourself draw towards the new guy too much and believe me if you do nothing to control your feelings, I'm afraid you're just gonna hurt your boyfriend for no good reason. And if eventually you start dating this new guy, you're still gonna meet another guy- even hotter and cuter and then you'd date that one too and then the trend continues like that. Its all about contentment. And if its true your boyfriend isn't really giving you desired attention, I don't think a relationship is made better by destroying it, you both should discuss the whole issue and sort things out. And to think your boyfriend is probably cheating cos is a long-distance relationship, you're letting trust issues creep into your mind just because you need an excuse to go with another guy.

So to your question, you're not cheating per se buh you're well on the verge. You do what you think is best for you but not everything that has a good outward appearance is good inside. He might be sweet and caring and attentive now, the new guy I mean. You don't know what he's gonna turn out to be when he eventually gets you for himself.

My One Million!

I think u are even better than ur boyfriend having confessed ur sins cos u wouldn't know why he has not been attentive to u in recent times.

.B.O.S.S.:
Please tell this story to us after he has fuuucked your puuuussyy.

Do you have to be rude bro? Really? They going to ban you.

Sunnycliff: be Faithful until it becomes undeserving

Thanks bro I am faithful but do you think this is cheating?

kaorama: I think u are even better than ur boyfriend having confessed ur sins cos u wouldn't know why he has not been attentive to u in recent times.

omo see reasoning..damn it!!

Dygeasy: Let's break this down, you had a boyfriend before you met this guy in question. Fine.

You both started talking/chatting, you were/are always enjoying his chats. Not bad.

He didn't know you had a boyfriend when you met him and you later let him know. It didn't go well with him- quite normal. And he wants to replace your boyfriend even when your bf isn't dead. I don't blame him, he's probably into you.

You're now notice your boyfriend hasn't been giving you attention. Babe, its not that. You need an excuse to cheat on your boyfriend and you've created one already.

Because you enjoy this guy's company so much, you're blinded to the fact that you have a boyfriend which normally is quite normal. When you get something new, the old things you have don't look attractive anymore. The thing is you're letting yourself draw towards the new guy too much and believe me if you do nothing to control your feelings, I'm afraid you're just gonna hurt your boyfriend for no good reason. And if eventually you start dating this new guy, you're still gonna meet another guy- even hotter and cuter and then you'd date that one too and then the trend continues like that. Its all about contentment. And if its true your boyfriend isn't really giving you desired attention, I don't think a relationship is made better by destroying it, you both should discuss the whole issue and sort things out. And to think your boyfriend is probably cheating cos is a long-distance relationship, you're letting trust issues creep into your mind just because you need an excuse to go with another guy.

So to your question, you're not cheating per se buh you're well on the verge. You do what you think is best for you but not everything that has a good outward appearance is good inside. He might be sweet and caring and attentive now, the new guy I mean. You don't know what he's gonna turn out to be when he eventually gets you for himself.

My One Million!

Thank you a million. I hear you. I also know guys says all great stuff when they want you, I very well aware of that. And love my boyfriend stocks and barrell.

But... There os always the what if?

Double post

sweetcheecks:

Thank you a million. I hear you. I also know guys says all great stuff when they want you, I very well aware of that. And love my boyfriend stocks and barrell.

But... There os always the what if?

Like what if he makes love better than your boyfriend. You just wana have him. I know.

Double post!

Someone should please gimme a reason why i should have a galfriend?..i pity your guy really,Poor dude doesn't know he now shares his so called hearthrob with another dude..smh..

REMMEI: Someone should please gimme a reason why i should have a galfriend?..i pity your guy really,Poor dude doesn't know he now shares his so called hearthrob with another dude..smh..

Are you saying I am cheating? Becouse he is really not sharing me according the way I see it. So you think if I would tell him this he would see it as he is sharing me?

sweetcheecks:


But... There os always the what if?

true that!

Lemme ask you something, is there something anybody might wanna do that doesn't have a 'what if'? Even if one wants to sleep, there'd be the question of "what if one doesn't wake up?"

So it doesn't really matter, deal with the what ifs with one mind and live the present the best way you can. A relationship is a gamble, its either you get the best out of it or the worst. So the perfect guy/lady is never written on the forehead. Its all about time. Just do what you think is best for you. Buh if you love your bf, make your relationship work!!

Goodluck!

.B.O.S.S.:


Like what if he makes love better than your boyfriend. You just wana have him. I know.

No, not making love better but maybe as he would turn out to be the love of my life? I am making an example here.

But tell me dont guys chat with other ladies like this? And ladies who chat like this end up cheating on their boyfriends? Is it me alone who has ever done this? Am I that horrible compared to other people?

Dygeasy: true that!

Lemme ask you something, is there something anybody might wanna do that doesn't have a 'what if'? Even if one wants to sleep, there'd be the question of "what if one doesn't wake up?"

So it doesn't really matter, deal with the what ifs with one mind and live the present the best way you can. A relationship is a gamble, its either you get the best out of it or the worst. So the perfect guy/lady is never written on the forehead. Its all about time. Just do what you think is best for you. Buh if you love your bf, make your relationship work!!


Goodluck!

I know so you think I need to stop chating with him? Its more of opening a door to cheating?

kaorama: I think u are even better than ur boyfriend having confessed ur sins cos u wouldn't know why he has not been attentive to u in recent times.

Very true!

Damn!! Women and telling half-truths smfdh..

Ol'boy already beat it and he's asking for more - so you've cheated and you're still cheating..

Just break up with your bf and focus on your new client..

read your post and when you're done ask yourself how you'd feel if you found out that your current boyfriend was doing this to you with another woman. your feeling will determine if you're doing right or wrong

sweetcheecks:

Very true!

there are so many things that may cause lack or diminished attention in a relationship. it maybe due to stress in the workplace and or several other factors. it may also be due to the fact that he found out about the other guy. so y'all should not be quick to say that he may be cheating

sweetcheecks:

No, not making love better but maybe as he would turn out to be the love of my life? I am making an example here.

But tell me dont guys chat with other ladies like this? And ladies who chat like this end up cheating on their boyfriends? Is it me alone who has ever done this? Am I that horrible compared to other people?

from you comment it seems like you're trying to give yourself a reason to cheat and or justify yourself if you've already done so

sweetcheecks:

Are you saying I am cheating? Becouse he is really not sharing me according the way I see it. So you think if I would tell him this he would see it as he is sharing me?

yes you're cheating. its called emotional cheating and it comes before the physical act.

sweetcheecks:

I know so you think I need to stop chating with him? Its more of opening a door to cheating?

₪ø̲̣̣ one is asking you to stop chatting with him. The truth of the matter is when you started chatting with him and getting fond of him, you began thinking about the what ifs your bf might be doing.

Prolonged chatting with him might ruin you present relationship. That's all.

firetrap:

yes you're cheating. its called emotional cheating and it comes before the physical act.

U took d words ryt out of my mouth.

@op its only a matter of time b4 it gets real, flee now while u still can.

And let me quickly add dis, dis ur new dude obviously have better looks dan ur boo and thus u are sold out 2 him already.

Poster

sorry to inform you but you are cheating because you are emotionally invested in this new guy. You miss him when he doesn't call and you "enjoy" the attention.

you might want to give yourself a break and excuse yourself from the relationship with the long distance man and enjoy the new person who is interested in you.

firetrap beat me to it

Da fvck is this silly question?

Has you boyfriend put a ring on your middle finger? If not, then you are free to date anyone you want to because you are still free.


Till any man places a ring on your finger, girl enjoy your freedom.

To be honest with you, you are emotionally cheating on your bf. Believe it, soon you will start to complain abt your bf inability to do this or that. The truth is you are telling this guy that you lied about your relationship status and you are indirectly telling him to push harder.
I never date ladies in relationship cos it shows how unsatisfiable and manipulative they could be. So, if you want to date this new guy, break up with your guy and enjoy it while it lasts.

pDude: Da fvck is this silly question?

Has you boyfriend put a ring on your middle finger? If not, then you are free to date anyone you want to because you are still free.


Till any man places a ring on your finger, girl enjoy your freedom.

Ur opinion doh but dats utter trash u spewed up there.

No one owns your body till you are married to him. Marriage is a contract, dating is not a contract.

ShyM-X:
Damn!! Women and telling half-truths smfdh..

Ol'boy already beat it and he's asking for more - so you've cheated and you're still cheating..

Just break up with your bf and focus on your new client..

Very dissapointing coming from you Shym. Why would I lie to faceless people on an internet site? And if I cheated on him i would say so its not like someone hear is going to tell him. Mcweeeeee! I just want to gage whether guys hold themselves accoubtable to samething they hold their women to.

firetrap:

there are so many things that may cause lack or diminished attention in a relationship. it maybe due to stress in the workplace and or several other factors. it may also be due to the fact that he found out about the other guy. so y'all should not be quick to say that he may be cheating

Find out what about the other guy? That I said he must no call me? That I did not talk to him for over two months? Ok now you making excuses.