Tonim:

Actually, the question should be what is his phobia about Nigerian women.

@LAKANYE

I think you despised Nigerian women (for whatever reason), so when you got to the states, you were willing to
settle for any woman as long as she wasn't Nigerian.

I don't think you really knew for certain what you were looking for in a woman when you hooked up with the
mothers of your two daughters, the bottom line for you then is that they weren't Nigerian.

Perhaps the need for legal permit/green card played a role in your association with these women.

Now, you seem to realize those non-Nigerian women are no better after all. So, you are giving
your earlier stand on Nigerian women a second thought.

The real question is, what is it about Nigerian women that you despised in the first place ? This, to me, is
part of the root of your problem.

You hit the nail on the head.
Which kain phobia ?
Have we become ojuju Calabar?
a man messes up big time and rather than learn his life lessons he blames Nigerian girls.
He admits his own American  wife absconded from the maternity ward.
Which kind woman will disappear from a loving husband 24 hours after giving birth no matter her sins.
Do we need an oracle to tell us that this man is no good,to the point that a  nursing mother is willing to wear a diaper from maternity floor waka?

I can barely make head or tail of the original post.

a lot of men have had experiences of being taken advantage of by women all over including nigerian women,so the fact that the guy is single with two kids doesnt mean its all his fault though no one knows what the past experience was like but im sure it must have been traumatic for him to have decided that he doesnt want anything to do with nigeria girls, its not a slight on every single nigerian gurl but a result of his own experience so i dont think he should be castigated for that
@poster
even though there are a lot of intrigues in the church ,i dont think that should be the basis of you judging everybody in the church,if im attending a church im not concerned with the politics going on there but what im there for,like the pastors say do as i say and not do as i do, so forget about the whole thing going on there and focus on what u r there for,you cant honestly say everybody in that church are guilty of the intrigues and besides its a normal thing to see people settling scores in a nigerian/african church dont forget a church is much more than a church for diasporeans its also a gathering place where we meet other friends and settle stuffs that has been going on so the issues u r on about might be people bringing their issues from home to settle in the church,if u have a phobia for nigeria gurls u need to shake it off because for every bad naija girl theres 10 akata gurls or oyinbo gurls

Mr. Lakanye, allow me to analyse your situation:

Having grown up on a street called FADEYI-ALADURA, off OBAFEMI AWOLOWO WAY, IKEJA, LAGOS, in a house owned by the Okoruwas,  as a tenant with my blood brother who once called me his slave, and having grown up with the Okoruwas with bunch of the most beautiful young women of that age, I had such a phobia for black women.

I'm not sure you truly understand the meaning of the word "phobia". it means - an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation
Your mother, cousins, aunts are all black women, do you have an illogical fear of them?

No bro, you're like the very many black men in Africa who see white women on TV back home and revere them as gods. You worship the ground they walk on, you drool at the mere thot of touching their silky hair, you fantasize about the forbidden thrill of having sex with them . . . being seen with them to you is a sign of having "arrived" . . . you will sell your soul to be able to call a blue-eyed blonde your own.

Its not about phobias, its about a lack of self esteem in your own color.

My phobia for them was the bedrock of my exodus to America for further studies during one of those indefinite UNILAG shutdowns in the days of the camouflaged bureaucratic leaders of the EARLY 90s.

30% of America's population is black. If you had a REAL phobia for black women i'd have expected you to emigrate to more white oriented societies like Russia. There are black women in the Florida you have chosen to hide, do you have a morbid fear of them?

I had since lived in Florida, became an American citizen, and a single parent to two beautiful girls, one a 9 years old from my first American woman-friend on a one night stand,

That you would be proud to announce that your first child is a product of a one night stand is further confirmation of your desperate and shameless fascination with the white female. It is also a window into what kind of woman she was, suffice to say its 90% likely she's one of what her kind call "white thrash".

and the other, a 31/2 years old, from a marriage to a white American woman  My marriage did not work due to her infidelity, and she finally divorced herself after she found out that her second born child does not look like her husband at all. She didn't even bother to come back home from the maternity ward.  But, I loved her, and would have taking her back

Another sad experience with white thrash again. Its very apalling to note that she was cheating on you right under your nose that she didnt even respect you enough to be afraid to carry another man's baby right under your roof for 9 months.
What is even sadder is the fact that she didnt even bother to return to your house after the baby, she abandoned the baby and walked out on you . . . sir that is the worst way to walk all over a man's battered ego. Saying you still loved her and would have taken her back is enough to make a rational human wonder if you have any shred of dignity at all.

but marriage rarely works in a society where a woman feels and thinks she had to live against the biblical ordinances.

There are millions of marriages that work in the US. Marriages based on skin color, prestige, and low self esteem will always hit the rocks.

My problem is the facts that I have not been able to keep a relationship with any American woman.

Maybe because the REAL decent white chics you so desperately want are not looking to marry outside their race. It can be frustrating, pele.

I am a single parent, and have full custody of my two American children from American women. My situation is rare in the American society due to the concepts of CHILD-SUPPORT.

Your situation is not rare. You hooked up with female prostitutes who happen to be white. If both were upstanding responsible citizens, the best you'd get would be weekend visitation rights.
I suspect your REAL intention behind mentioning the term "american" anytime you reference your kids is to let us know they are half caste. . .

I came to America with my believes that the Almighty God would not put me through anything I cannot bear.

The Almighty God gave you black women, you claim to have a phobia for them . . . short of making you white overnight, there's really little the Almighty God can do for you now.

DOES ANYONE HAVE A SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEM?

Bros, you have psychological issues far beyond the scope of this forum.

Nice analysis You get sense jare

[size=13pt]4Him, you are awesome! Perfect analysis.[/size]

Damn 4Him really broke it down Although i think the poster's 1st child is full black?? May be wrong, couldn't really understand the whole post.

@ Poster, please clarify if your 1st child is black and why 'black' women in Nigeria traumatized you 1st

I also wondered how someone can know who a newborn baby looks like.

Maybe the baby was 100% white, with no trace of blackness at all.

I've also never in my life heard of a woman refusing to come home from the maternity ward. Some naija guys don suffer in the name of marrying other nationality sha.

Mr. Poster, this your phobia of black women doesnt seem to be working well for you, since its not like you're getting anything better in the female line.  And do you also have a phobia of your female relatives? Seriously, I think this problem might be a psychological one. because if that's you in your picture, then I don't get it.

4him has really put everything in a nutshell here. This ya story don pass go, for real.

If I were you which I'll never be, I better think of how to train the 2 children I already have from 2 different women which already has made you an irresponsible creature, rather than looking for another woman to deceive.

Your type is used in scarifies to the gods cause you've nothing to show as a man.

  Your type as a Gigolo makes money in Europe,

*edited*

You edit to clarify "ignorant perspectives" in a forum, and you know what Indians say about "Ignorance", , because you live in India. I still Love you though, Sister. I was in Nogpor and Japalpor last month,, a beautiful place to visit. I cannot believe that Nigerians are everywhere and anywhere around the world. STAY BLACK!!!

by the way, Mr Poster, you told us what your American wives/girlfriends did to you, but you havent yet informed people of how Nigerian/black women did you bad.

I'm all ears jare. Lets hear about these nasty Nigerian women.

what brought about this phobia. Picture yourself on a nairaland couch, and let it roll.

tpia:

by the way, Mr Poster, you told us what your American wives/girlfriends did to you, but you havent yet informed people of how Nigerian/black women did you bad.

I'm all ears jare. Lets hear about these nasty Nigerian women.

what brought about this phobia. Picture yourself on a nairaland couch, and let it roll.

LOL, you instigator

By Lakanye,
You edit to clarify "ignorant perspectives" in a forum, and you know what Indians say about "Ignorance", , because you live in India. I still Love you though, Sister. I was in Nogpor and Japalpor last month,, a beautiful place to visit. I  cannot believe that Nigerians are everywhere and anywhere around the world. STAY BLACK!!!

 
Stay black? You didn't remember that when you were humping white thrashy women on one night basis? I think you need more prayers in your need found church and I may advise you to look for a spouse within your church. You sound so alienated from the modern society and if you ever try to marry in Nigeria to a hook up wife, you'll be another baby daddy besides, American women are better when it comes to taking care of step children than Nigerian women because they are very used to it. If you love your two daughters dearly, stick with American women from YOUR CHURCH and not those from the STRIP CLUB.

You are a victim of bad choices, same would've happened to you if you picked women from the streets in Nigeria, s, it's not their Americaness that is the problem, it's the gutter they came from that is following them around.

Again, with all your education you still do not practice safe sex? Are you nuts or are condoms more expensive than rice in FLA?

i felt sorry when i read his post. the responses made me realize what a tosser this bloke is. having one night stand without condom. dude, have u ever considered if that child belongs to u?

phobia about naija women my ass. dude, u wanted what nigerians called PALE. u got pale. now u want naija woman. only a desperate naija woman would settle foe ur type.

one more thing, plz stop telling us u belong to a church. some of u so called church pple commit the worst sins.

OMO IBO,
IF YOU CANNOT REBUILD BABYLON, YOU CANNOT TEAR IT DOWN!!!

LAKANYE~:

You edit to clarify "ignorant perspectives" in a forum, and you know what Indians say about "Ignorance", , because you live in India. I still Love you though, Sister. I was in Nogpor and Japalpor last month,, a beautiful place to visit. I cannot believe that Nigerians are everywhere and anywhere around the world. STAY BLACK!!!

i hope this dude ain't talking to moi? what da *(&^% do you mean by ignorant perspectives? in a forum @ lakanye were you not asked to come here and state your phobia about 9 j a women? ( you pick race comot) only to surface on another thread yarning opata!

please school us all in :

1; what is your phobia
2: what are this ignorant perspective?

and yes i had to edit ma post once i saw that new thrash you posted

indians koo japanese ni

2 words

Good LUCk

LMAO , you guys will not kill me , ok @ poster i guess you know now to keep your business to yourself . How can you come on the forum hanging out your dirty laundery , common man you are not the only one in ^&*(*#!!<> like this you know .There are dudes out there just like you and are nigerians too better believe that.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-131665.0.html

Women run from this man.No wonder 2 other women ditched him

We have all made wrong choices in life. Sometimes, we are fortunate enough that the mistake is temporary and sometimes, the mistake is permanent. There is no need for the harsh admonishments being thrown this chaps way. The point is that he had two women; whether they were American or Chinese is immaterial. The women might as well have been Nigerian. There are guys who have been through more than one Nigerian lady. Do not base your judgement on the fact that the women were American.

He came here for a solution; instead of suggestions; he is being lamblasted from every corner. I don't think that it is right to have this holier than-thou attitude when someone else is in an unfortunate situation. No one knows tomorrow.

@ Poster.
I think your main priority should be your children. You have to find a considerate lady who will treat them like her own. Forget about your own preferences such as Nationality, beauty, career etc. Also I do not believe in long distance relationships or 'importation' of partners. You can not spend sufficient time in Nigeria to be able to study a potential partner. As it has being mentioned already in previous replies, it rarely works. We have all made mistakes, so pray to God fervently to send to you a woman who will take care of you and your kids. Whatever you do, do not rush into another relationship. Most especially a sexual one without adequate protection. If you develop AIDS, who will care for your kids when you are gone?

@ poster
I just saw your advertisement; rather crass.

@ Banni
Thanks for the link