I would advise you to get right back to your husband and make things right.
From all you have written so far i have a feeling you want to dominate him
That could be the reason why his love is channelled to someone else.
Calm him down
reassure him of ur undying love and make him open up to you.
pray ceaselessly for him(this has proven to work where all other methods fail).
Finally disregard most of the evil comments on here, most of the ladies on here go through what you are passing through.
Work on your marriage the more and refuse to be lazy on petty things that matters in marriage.
I know you can make it work.
GIVE THIS TRY ONCE MORE.

Why nt cal a family meetin n table d issue atlease dat way his family members who knw abt it n advise him while ur own family who also advice u cos in marrage u face a lot of temptation ur ability 2 over com is wat makes u a real woman bt divoce is nt d best option.

1. Stop being so damn understanding

2. He is a grown man, you don't need to "baby" him through this "difficult time"

3. Give him so space to sort out his demons

1. Im pretty sure the information is incomplete 2. Im sure u want to eat your cake and have it at d same time. 3. Uve been married for 5years and all of a sudden things took a twist just like that! Im pretty sure if u dont change that attitude of yours He will be gone for good! Btw most of those ladies telling you trash r lying and/or facing worst fate as yours but would never back out.Abeg work on your marriage and stop being lazy.

@lamaroscar, there you go prescribing one pastor from a particular church. Gerraway from here. People like you and their obsession with their pastors irritate me. I have adviced the op as best as I can, there is no marriage counselling here, women and men are told to endure the crazy institution known as marriage. Let her talk to her husband, she married the man did she not? I am sure they can both work their way back to love and trust again.

Madam thank God you are on the winning track. Glancing through your huzy's phone is no much deal,but taking to heart the content of the call log or maybe received text message is another.What should bother you most is sent text messages,but in this case what they discuss each time which you do not have access to. May be because of what happened you are bound to think deep,just take it easy their love story will die a natural death.

The lady if am correct just got married,so she is the new baby on the hot sit and will do anything to kick start and keep her marriage. Simply advise her to change her phone number in her own interest or you let her husband know what she is into. Naturally,it is worse off when the wife is cheating than the reverse. With that your husband will gradually loose contact and interest.

Most importantly,try and know your huzy's do's and dont's. Check yourself by continually improving in your strengths and relatively let him address some of your weaknesses at the moment. It is well ma sister, just keep handling it in a mature way good men/women are scarce out there. Good luck

lastpage:

Damn! I did not see this earlier!

So, its not just the husband that was "in-love with something else"!

No wonder!
Like Jimmy Cliff will say : I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW....

Women and their "cry-cry baby stuff"!

Lastpage!

I believe she was just messing around with that thread.
This situation is serious!

slimyem: I believe she was just messing around with that thread.
This situation is serious!

My sister I wasn't even messing around sef. My sister opened that damn thread from my laptop. @ hombre of cours incomplete I gave you the abridged version of eveents.

ewet:

And wht is wrong with you searching your partners phone. there shuld be no qualms with tht except the partner has lots to hide.I am a guy and the moment my lady starts to hide her phone from me then there is something fishy.

If he is still confessing to you he loves her. It then depends on the both of you.You have to both have a serious sitdown to decide what you both want and the terms must be seriously spelt out.I cant stand my lady telling me she is in love with some1 and is finding it difficult to get over the person.I am out tht very scond.

Hey! There's a lot of problems attached 2 it, everybody is entitled 2 sum privacy, too much poke nosing causes more harm dan gud in r/ships n marriages, give ur partner a breathing space nd don't get involved in routine checks of his or her....Howeva,everybody z entitled 2 der opinions, if u guys r comfrtable wid it, so be it, as 4 me I prefer my partner staying off my fon nd I will do dat too.

babyosisi: Finally @ the poster

Cheaters are good manipulators
Don't fall for that scam
He is saying all the things you wanna hear just to keep you calm
Maybe even making himself appear as a victim
See you glorifying this man
"We have a good relationship
The SE.x is good
We do everything together"

Well light bulb!!!!!!
Look at the title of your thread,that is the stark reality
He is doing that with you and doing it with someone else
That is disrespectful

Do not be scammed my dear,it is a vicious cycle
If he truly loved you,he wouldn't be emotionally with someone else
Don't think the physical part is over
It may not be
With Skype and phone se.x you never know what may be going on when they cannot be together physically

Forget his family members for now,they cannot do much but beg you to forgive

Give that ultimatum
Marriage counseling is a must here
If he is unable to break that chain,you need to hold your head up high and walk!
Staying will sap you of self confidence
Listen to what he says but listen to how you feel

He has shown you who he is
A married man whose heart is with another woman
Take him for exactly what he has shown you not what he tells you or what you would wish he were

Do not fall for emotional 419 scam
Ekwu si go kwa m ( I don talk finish)

Wish u the best

My dear i really smiled when i read ur post,e b like say u don fall victim b4' But on a more serious note u said it all,MARRIED MEN WHO CHEAT ARE GREAT MANIPULATORS, ALWAYS PLAY THE VICTIM,STRING YOU ALONG & MAKE YOU LOOSE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE.
@OP,just pray really hard & in making that final decision,let it be one that makes u & u alone happy cos my dear life is extra short to waste it on one silly man who disrespects & makes u crazily unhappy

This was from the thread you created last time

angelhair: I have NEVER felt like this in all my life. Walahi, men have no idea how to bring a woman to her peak. I've had orgasms before but the one that vibrator gave me, damn, I'm weak in the knees just thinking about it! Please, ladies, get yourself a vibrator and experience that really heavenly feeling.

And when sexkills attacked you, your reply was this:

angelhair: Bia why are the guys vexing. I'm not saying u can't perform you're not bad but u aint got nothing on my v1brator.

Why would someone take you serious now? Stop teasing us, inasmuch as there are kids on this forum, there are some of us who value our time and when we squeeze out small time for leisure, we wouldn't want someone insulting our intelligence with tales by moonlight.

Btw, in case you insist that this story is real, then stop crying foul since you've obviously been cheating him with your v1brator.

Ciao.

Mistade Regal:
Why can't she go through her husband's phone?

I tire ooo

Sister, u can't give up. Marriage is a life time contract and u jst nid dt patience and prayer to overcome.
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By the way..... holla @ me for marriage counselling. It is well.

Daresh: Abeg where can she get marriage counseling in this Naija because me sef I need it.

Talk to me. God has given me d grace.

chaircover: Unfortunately in this particular situation there is no balance. The poster clearly wants to keep her marriage, while hubby has one leg in and one leg out and may be looking for any alleged "cockkup" from his wife as an excuse to run off so we need to be mindful of the advise that we give her.

If the poster is no longer interested in the marriage, then that is a different thing and the advise is easy. Pack your bag and go. But the poster wants to keep her marriage and so asking her to go on separation, issue ultimatums, report the lover to her own husband etc may cause further damage and may be the excuse that the man is looking for to finally go off with his lover and when we close our laptops we get on with out lives, and it is the poster who is going to deal with all this on her own.

This is an emotional relationship rather than a physical one and it is going to be much harder to untangle the man from her. The poster has already humiliated him at work, reported him to his family, threatened the lover but he is still not letting go of his lover

I put my hand up and say I dont really know what to advise someone on how to cajole a man who is in love with another woman to suddenly severe the love between them and carry on functioning like nothing happened. My understanding is that they both work in the same office so that makes it even harder. You can force him, but as you have seen he will just learn better methods of keeping it away from the wife.

Since you have decided to work at this, the only thing I can suggest is that you pray that God touches him. I wouldn't waste energy embarking on more fights eg with the girl because until your husband wakes up one morning and is really truly ready to disentangle himself from this woman no amount of talking, fighting, reporting etc will stop him from loving her and it is the love he has for her that is clouding his better judgement and has made him throw his vows into the wind.

I really feel for you and I hope that he comes back to his senses soon. All the best.

Hmmnnn....,this is d most matured advice I've seen here so far. U just nailed it.wonderful and thank u so much.
Poster,re-evaluation,prayer, good manner(even when its hard)and most importantly patience r the vital key u need. Goodluck

Wow!Personally i tnk goin 2 her husband is out of it.Av a hrt 2 hrt talk wt d woman n also ur husband,go 4 counsellin.After all sd and done and nothng changes.U nid 2 take a walk.No use bringin up kids in an Environment whr love is lost.Kids ar sensitive you knw n can sense wen smthng is nt ryt.

This is serious.
But seriously its the other woman who needs to do the trick. The more you tackle your husband, the more he finds new ways of reaching that woman, except of course she does not want to be reached.
If i were in your shoes, apart from holding God by his words, i would advice, you also talk to that woman quietly, to leave your husband alone. The only reason why your husband is still in contact with her, is because she wants him to still contact her. If she is really serious about facing her husband, your husband will move on.
The other woman is the key.

This is one of my fears about infidelity.Once a committed man strays and feesl 'loved' by the strange woman,its often hard to let go.its more of a psychological and ego thing. The woman at home were either oblivious of some emotional needs or she doing it purpose.And there is the strange woman outside equally seeking companionship and perhaps financial support,but WILLING to give the married guy his desires.
Just as every woman wants to be treated as queens even when they come up with their behavioral nonsense most times,likewise every hard working man wants to be treated like a King.I support the idea of couples spending time together alone.It doesn't matter if they have kids or not.Church,Politics,Extended Family,Business, shouldn't have overwhelming effect on your relationship. At the end of the day,its still gonna be you and your spouse or partner....wish you luck..

SniperInADiaper:

And thanks for your equally valuable reply fVcktard.

hmm...girls dem dey vex scatter

@OP
I wish you all the best though...
As CC has said. only God get this one








funny the hard core feminazis and preachers of marital destruction are quiet
Seems the man not wanting the marriage is not what they want to hear
makes advicing the woman to leave sound like a hollow victory

Counselling in 9ja is a scam. Beware of scammers!

This story is so touching. My sister this act is called 'Soul Tie'. A Soul tie is the knitting 2geda of 2 souls that that can either bring tremendous blessings in a godly relationship or tremendous destruction when made with the wrong person. In your own case, your husband is in bondage and u have to act fast about it before it destroys your home totally. The two of dem can control each other because their minds, will and emotions are so opened to each other. That is why this act has placed him in emotional and mental bondage. Ur hubby is attached to dis woman with glue. I have a lot to tell you, but i cant use this medium my sister. The solution to this act is deliverance. Talk to him and go together for serious deliverance. Your home is very important. I pray your home will nt be destroyed.

babyosisi:

That woman is his soul mate.
He married you ,probably loves you ,but he found the one his soul desires.
I feel for you
Sadly that affair may never end
I know a lady here that was in the same situation
Her husband tried his best but could never let go of the other woman no matter how hard he claimed to love his wife
They went through counseling,he promised to be faithful but kept going back to the same woman
They would lose communication for a few months but then resume and continue from where they stopped
She is now divorced from her husband because she couldn't take it anymore,the husband is shattered by the divorce and didn't want to be divorced from her but at the same time cannot let go of the bond with his mistress.

o mashe ooo. God please deliver us from temptation and may we not have mistresses who will divide our homes in Jesus mighty name. Amen

ujchief: This was from the thread you created last time



And when sexkills attacked you, your reply was this:



Why would someone take you serious now? Stop teasing us, inasmuch as there are kids on this forum, there are some of us who value our time and when we squeeze out small time for leisure, we wouldn't want someone insulting our intelligence with tales by moonlight.

Btw, in case you insist that this story is real, then stop crying foul since you've obviously been cheating him with your v1brator.

Ciao.

Ol boy...thank you o...see as you come expose the babe,when in my heart I was almost like 'why are some men like this' gbaun. So your. Vibrator gives you more pleasure than your oga? I said it.When the man may have realise his 'sexual effort' is not having its effect,and the woman outside is giving him. Sicch,why won't his heart be with her?.see the side effect of intimacy gadgets. .mthcewwwwww.

Valeree: So sad dear, I think I can relate with ur pain. my boyfriend of 2years is currently doing thesame to me now for d past 3 months, with a girl that is seriously engaged to be married, once I found some messages were the girls fiancee was verbally abusing and threatening my boyfriend and my boyfriend was also threatening him back can u imagine, I felt so shattered, and pained and I know how it really hurts watching someone u love gradually slipping away.
I have talked with him and he said he wil stop but still keeping in touch with her, cos he wil be up all nite chatting, always clutching his fone even in d toilet and gets angry over every little thin.
I'm learning to give him space and hope and pray that all will be well soon.

Are you waiting until you get married so you can start praying and fasting abi?

slymm: @lamaroscar, there you go prescribing one pastor from a particular church. Gerraway from here. People like you and their obsession with their pastors irritate me. I have adviced the op as best as I can, there is no marriage counselling here, women and men are told to endure the crazy institution known as marriage. Let her talk to her husband, she married the man did she not? I am sure they can both work their way back to love and trust again.

And if the man refuses to budge, sister, i have a big and strong shoulder where you can lay your head. I will always understand, i always do...(that is for the OP)

Limaoscar:

You diss Nigeria, diss the Pastors and the Society and all you had to say to op was "you two take a trip and talk"?
You are such a pathetic pessimistic disaster to marriages. People like you should NEVER offer to type any form of advise to anybody on Marriage matters.

@OP,
Please you both should see a Marriage Councellor that comes recommended or your Pastor if you do have one. Most Churches actually have trained Marriage Councellors. If you are in Nigeria I can recommend the Pastor in Charge of Family Life at House on the Rock. Reve (Dr) Yinka Akinbami. I trust God to fill you with Wisdom and heal your marriage by the day so you don't make a bad decision because so far you have handled things well. Blessings!

stop it at once, this need to brandish God at every given opportunity is the reason why Nigerians keep praying and praying while folding their hands and refusing to attend to things before them.be diagnosing churches and pastor there. HOW SURE ARE YOU THE op is a christian?

bukatyne:

Are you waiting until you get married so you can start praying and fasting abi?

my dear are you not aware that majority of Nigerian women spend all day fasting and braying and binding the demon, meanwhile the demon is the cheating husband living with them and sleeping in their bed. she will go ahead and marry him, then move to the church campsite praying and fasting for Africa......

chaircover: Unfortunately in this particular situation there is no balance. The poster clearly wants to keep her marriage, while hubby has one leg in and one leg out and may be looking for any alleged "cockkup" from his wife as an excuse to run off so we need to be mindful of the advise that we give her.

If the poster is no longer interested in the marriage, then that is a different thing and the advise is easy. Pack your bag and go. But the poster wants to keep her marriage and so asking her to go on separation, issue ultimatums, report the lover to her own husband etc may cause further damage and may be the excuse that the man is looking for to finally go off with his lover and when we close our laptops we get on with out lives, and it is the poster who is going to deal with all this on her own.

This is an emotional relationship rather than a physical one and it is going to be much harder to untangle the man from her. The poster has already humiliated him at work, reported him to his family, threatened the lover but he is still not letting go of his lover

I put my hand up and say I dont really know what to advise someone on how to cajole a man who is in love with another woman to suddenly severe the love between them and carry on functioning like nothing happened. My understanding is that they both work in the same office so that makes it even harder. You can force him, but as you have seen he will just learn better methods of keeping it away from the wife.

Since you have decided to work at this, the only thing I can suggest is that you pray that God touches him. I wouldn't waste energy embarking on more fights eg with the girl because until your husband wakes up one morning and is really truly ready to disentangle himself from this woman no amount of talking, fighting, reporting etc will stop him from loving her and it is the love he has for her that is clouding his better judgement and has made him throw his vows into the wind.

I really feel for you and I hope that he comes back to his senses soon. All the best.

For once madam, you had nothing to advise on a topic. This must be very very serious oo. Now i am really sorry for the OP. If a whole madam chaircover cannot fathom what advise to give, except the Lord intervenes, this case has gone past redemption. Lord please have mercy at least for the sake of the children who may suffer enstrangement if these two adults decide to pack it up. Lord you know i am not too strong spritually but i publicly confess that my heart is touched and may you hear our cries and help this woman so that her marriage will start flourishing all over again. Help her to find the joy that she sought in getting into matrimony.