Pls I Need An Advise Urgently - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Pls I Need An Advise Urgently (1246 Views)
Please.. I Am Having Sleepless Night I Need An Advise... / An Advise For This Guy. / I Need An Advise From U... (2) (3) (4)
| Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by evelyn2013: 9:31pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
My fellow nairalander, I urgently need an advise, my husband is cheating on me and he doesn't want to repent, the major reason I want an advise is that I have a huge amount of money in his care though I have a biz venture, but shd I collect it this money from him or not, though my mum said I shd leave it for future reasons? Ur advise will be greatly appreciated. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Natasha2(f): 9:41pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Collect it if you want to. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Sanboy25: 9:47pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
If you collect your money, he'll take it that you want to divorce...  If it's your aim, go ahead, if not leave that issue for later...  |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by eyenCalabar(m): 10:18pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
My dear, I don't really think u need advice on what to do with your money in his possession. What you should seek advice for should be on how to make him stop cheating on you. But then, his cheating on you is not just starting today. You married him like that. So seek advice on how to make him stop cheating on you except you are writing the marriage off. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by evelyn2013: 11:08pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Thanks 4 all ur reply, but @eyencalabar, don't u think I shd collect this money and focus on myself and my kids,though I won't divorce cos my kids realy need a dad but I have tried all within my power to stop him from cheating ever since I discovered to no avail, the worst of it all is that when he is caught he will be pretending to be so remorseful and vow never to go back to it but when u think all is well there he goes again, my problem is that he changes them like cloth no steady one, today it will be Maureen tomorrow sikiratu, I'm tired of the whole thing but I can't leave him and deny my kids the joy of having a dad. Cos I don't think I will ever marry again. I was a virgin when he met me so I realy a novice is that the cause of his cheating on me or is it that I didnot realy get to know him well b4 getting married to him? |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by 2goodbobo(m): 11:46pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Your problem should not really be about collecting the money but how to solve the cheating issue. Funny enough cheating cost money, and if he is a chronic philanderer, then there is also the possibility of him using part of your money to cheat. Between, does he perform his fatherly role such as providing for the family and taking care of the household? |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by evelyn2013: 12:05am On Jun 17, 2013 |
Yes he provides for the family |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Nobody: 1:28am On Jun 17, 2013 |
I don't believe you can change a cheat until he is ready to change. If you want to get your money from him, please do. He has proved himself unworthy of your trust. You cannot trust him. Get your money from him, maybe stylishly and make sure you protect yourself anytime you guys are together. I mean against STDs and all of that. Seems like you're ready to accept him with the cheating thing. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Nobody: 10:10am On Jun 17, 2013 |
Madame am impressed with your level of maturity in handling this issue. I would advise to leave the money, since he is meeting his domestic obligation as at when due. For the cheating part, no matter what you do, you cannot stop him. He has to make that decision. Hand over your hubby to God and be the best wife and mother that you can ever be. Dont fight anymore. It is not your battle but the Lord's. God bless |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by eyenCalabar(m): 1:49pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
intbizoil: Madame am impressed with your level of maturity in handling this issue. I would advise to leave the money, since he is meeting his domestic obligation as at when due. For the cheating part, no matter what you do, you cannot stop him. He has to make that decision. Hand over your hubby to God and be the best wife and mother that you can ever be. Dont fight anymore. It is not your battle but the Lord's. God bless I beg to dissagree please, it's her fight and NOT the Lord's. It wasn't the Lord that choose the man for her but she for herself. The problem is that her husband is possessed with the spirit of lust. This makes it a spiritual battle for her. To win, the husband must cooperate with her in prayers. She on her own must also intercede for him strongly. It just a fight of faith. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Sanboy25: 1:58pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
^^^^ you're right |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by 2goodbobo(m): 2:09pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
You can feign cheating too and see if he will change. Pretend as if you are also cheating on him and see how he will react. He might get jealous and retrace his step. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Sanboy25: 2:11pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
2goodbobo: You can feign cheating too and see if he will change. Pretend as if you are also cheating on him and see how he will react. He might get jealous and retrace his step.No, he'll just leave her and bring dishonor on her & her family... |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by eyenCalabar(m): 10:17pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
2goodbobo: You can feign cheating too and see if he will change. Pretend as if you are also cheating on him and see how he will react. He might get jealous and retrace his step. She should'nt try this pls. Most men feels they should be the only ones doing that and if they smell anything close to that from the partner, then the union is over. Personally, I feel her hubby is been controlled by some negative forces [of] which aim is just to tear the family apart and if this woman is not powerful (spiritually) enough, then, sad! But I'll just challenge her to challenge her faith as well. This is a battle with demons. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Nobody: 10:47pm On Jun 17, 2013 |
@OP what has the money got to do with the cheating part?! as for the cheating, there can be many reasons why your man is cheating on you. the important question is what are you doing to help him stop doing what he is doing? are you on top of your sex/attraction game? although cheating is wrong, it doesnt help if the partner is letting herself go physically, or is not trying to seduce her man no longer (and vice versa)! |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by thorium: 1:03am On Jun 18, 2013 |
Two parties involved, only one side of the story is being presented here. Kinda makes it hard to offer a tangible solution. Old habits die hard!! He probably didn't start cheating in marriage, and can't stop now because it has already taken its roots in his character. Let's be careful not to pass judgements or condemn someone who's clearly under an influence, but with love, try to correct the defect. I'm not making an excuse for anyone and I'm not suggesting her to tolerate his behavior. All I'm trying to say is, approach him in a loving manner, if you haven't, (without any disrespect or judgemental comments). Maybe cook his favorite meal, treat him like your master, like he is. Be faithful to him and don't feel you need to revenge anything. Gain his trust back and eventually he'll start opening up to you, and then, talk about your issues without blaming anyone, perform your wife duties(censored), do some research to improve on yourself. Most importantly keep praying for him and hope for the best. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by 25omega(m): 1:26am On Jun 18, 2013 |
poster i feel really bad for you because you have made up your mind to stay do to what ever irrational fear you might have about being a single mom. i can't imagine how you both live under one roof knowing that he probably just came from another woman's house. you will then probably open your legs for him to because you believe that is your duty as a wife. if not for the fact that you have made up your mind i would have been the one to tell you to leave. As for the money, if you can get it back you should quickly get your money and have it in a secret account because a man that can cheat on you multiple times with complete disregard for his kids and you and both of your marriage and health will surly be the man to one day tell you to pack your bags and get out because he doesn't love you anymore. If that happens all the people who told you to forget the money and go for prayers will not be there to beg him for you. you need to start empowering yourself and quickly realize that no one man or woman needs a man nor a woman to be complete in this world. Ask yourself this, if he had caught you cheating would he have stayed with you? 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by tellwisdom: 3:48am On Jun 18, 2013 |
Ok, go and collect your 2,000naira from him and stop disturbing us |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by Godson201333(m): 6:42am On Jun 18, 2013 |
[quote author=evelyn2013]Thanks 4 all ur reply, but @eyencalabar, don't u think I shd collect this money and focus on myself and my kids,though I won't divorce cos my kids realy need a dad but I have tried all within my power to stop him from cheating ever since I discovered to no avail, the worst of it all is that when he is caught he will be pretending to be so remorseful and vow never to go back to it but when u think all is well there he goes again, my problem is that he changes them like cloth no steady one, today it will be Maureen tomorrow sikiratu, I'm tired of the whole thing but I can't leave him and deny my kids the joy of having a dad. Cos I don't think I will ever marry again. I was a virgin when he met me so I realy a novice is that the cause of his cheating on me or is it that I didnot realy get to know him well b4 getting married to him?[/quote This is one thing that makes me like the white people,Your husband has changed and now you are not happy but for one reason you want to remain un happy forever? |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by CNN80: 7:33am On Jun 18, 2013 |
thorium: Two parties involved, only one side of the story is being presented here. Kinda makes it hard to offer a tangible solution. Old habits die hard!! He probably didn't start cheating in marriage, and can't stop now because it has already taken its roots in his character. Let's be careful not to pass judgements or condemn someone who's clearly under an influence, but with love, try to correct the defect. I'm not making an excuse for anyone and I'm not suggesting her to tolerate his behavior. All I'm trying to say is, approach him in a loving manner, if you haven't, (without any disrespect or judgemental comments). Maybe cook his favorite meal, treat him like your master, like he is. Be faithful to him and don't feel you need to revenge anything. Gain his trust back and eventually he'll start opening up to you, and then, talk about your issues without blaming anyone, perform your wife duties(censored), do some research to improve on yourself. Most importantly keep praying for him and hope for the best. Seriously? Really? The man is a chronic cheater and your advice is to approach him lovingly and treat him like her master? Which yeye master? What nonsense love is that one? And what kind of influence is the man under that he does not know the right thing to do? This is why women are dying slowly in fake marriages. And by the way, with the kind of advice you just gave, you ARE suggesting that she tolerate the behaviour. Madam, please collect your money back. Since you do not want a divorce, invest the money wisely and make a will leaving all to your children. This is in case his level of craze increases and he decides to bring in a new wife and/or chase you out. |
| Re: Pls I Need An Advise Urgently by thorium: 9:43am On Jun 18, 2013 |
@CNN80 for the women dem! You said "that's the reason why women are dying slowly in fake marriages"?! What makes it fake? Don't two people agree 1st before they get married? And is marriage not for better for worse? Or wait! Maybe she wasn't expecting that the worse would come in this form or maybe she never really gave it a thought. Its a marriage not a relationship. Whatever it is, its their problem and they have to fix it. What if he doesn't give her the money? Should she harass him then or call the police on him? Afterall he's playing his fatherly role by providing for them. Like she said. What then?? The essence of marriage has been corrupted that people think they can walk out of it anytime because of problems. There's no easy way out! Get counsel from close friends, relatives or a religious head. |
(1) (Reply)
Girl Strips Naked On Stage With Superstars Performance / Can You Forgive A Cheating Partner? / 17 Ways On How To Make Your Relationship Admirable
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 43 |