@topic
1) Blame their parents for not teaching them the wonder of make-up

2) For the beautiful ones, blame the guys that could not upgrade their game and impress her at 25.
3) Blame the guys that jilted them after three years of courtship.

4) Blame their alchoholic father for beating up their mum and making them hate men.
5) Blame the church for potraying relationships as a path to hell

6) Blame the mum for not pushing them hard enough on the matter.

7) Blame married couples for making marriage look like stress when it's the sweetest thing ever

8.) Blame the marriage restrictions racism and tribalism that has been caused by their upbringing

9) Blame the economy for paying them so much and making them forget about settling down

10)Blame other unmarried over30's for deceiving them that they don't need men

11) Blame the man's mum for choosing a wife for him.

That's all I can think of for now, eleven to make a football team

You are probably in a bad marriage.

@osunAmazon
Is this how quick you usually are to jump to your conclusions? I am not in a bad marriage. Thank you. How you can think that without knowing me is what beats me hollow!

9) [b]Blame the economy for paying them so much and making them forget about settling down[/b]10)Blame other unmarried over30's for deceiving them that they don't need men

11) Blame the man's mum for choosing a wife for him.

Abiiioo, we should cut down on women's pay to make them aight and respectful.

@osunAmazon
Is this how quick you usually are to jump to your conclusions? I am not in a bad marriage. Thank you. How you can think that without knowing me is what beats me hollow! 

I didn't think that. You said a few yr marriage turned you to a 100 year old mummy and I guessed that those in happy marriages shouldn't be aging fast abi. I derived it from your last statement. Anyway sha, sorry.

@ tai2
nice way of analysing issues. . . . you are mature in analysing this topic

thumb up for you

OsunAmazon:


I didn't think that. You said a few yr marriage turned you to a 100 year old mummy and I guessed that those in happy marriages shouldn't be aging fast abi. I derived it from your last statement. Anyway sha, sorry.

Marriage is hard work. Many do not know that. They only fantasize about the ring. Its harder work than people realize. When i said i feel a hundred years old sometimes i was trying to emphasize on how much energy it takes from one. That does not in anyway translate into a bad marriage. Dont get it twisted.

spoilt:

Marriage is hard work. Many do not know that. They only fantasize about the ring. Its harder work than people realize. When i said i feel a hundred years old sometimes i was trying to emphasize on how much energy it takes from one. That does not in anyway translate into a bad marriage. Dont get it twisted.

na your fault na. U for marry Chief or the Eze for your village, so you fit put your feet up

Marriage is hard work. Many do not know that. They only fantasize about the ring. Its harder work than people realize. When i said i feel a hundred years old sometimes i was trying to emphasize on how much energy it takes from one. That does not in anyway translate into a bad marriage. Dont get it twisted.

ok

No one is to blame, i guess some of them are just unlucky

lamidebaby:

1. The perpetual financial crisis bedevilling the menfolk especially with a mindset of needin to "arrive" before embarkin on the marital trip.
2. free sex everywhere . If they can get it free and without much hassles, why invite a lifetime "yoke" in the name of marriage? I believe if there were no available sexual outlet for the men, and marriage was a necessary prerequisite for gettin it on, there'd be a lot more marriages than we can handle. . . . . . meaning far less over-30 singles.

just ma thoughts.

the society wedding wont pay for itself you know
plus most of you want a 'gainfully' employed godly man don't you?
_{what does gainfully employed mean anyway?}

Our Nigerian society looks at women over 30 and are not yet married as getting expired. Although it's a wrong notion about expiry dates and most women in that age range has been fighting that stereotype supposedly from men but do we really need to blame men for that stereotype?

If our mothers, grandmothers and aunts are the ones that always tell our brothers who wants to marry an over 30 woman to look elsewhere for something younger and more 'fruitful', why blame the men for that stereotype?. Most of us women here will even do the same to our siblings who come home with women in that age range but you can hardly hear that our fathers,grandfathers,uncles etc discouraged their sons,nephews and grandsons from marrying a woman of their choice.

After reading the premise to this argument, do you still believe that men should be blamed for stereotyping women over 30 or should we cormfortably blame the stereotype on us and leave men the hell alone?

based on this women are to blame!
I think it's about time women stop giving a damn about what they say!
let our society do what it does best-talk and poke nose!

what does gainfully employed mean anyway?

It means 'GET A DAMN JOB'. We Naija women are not raised to to care of men financially.

_{what is the difference between gainfully employed and employed then?}


I think marry at 30 should be the norm for Nigerian girls now,
that way they themselves should have arrived!!
Nigeria men should boycott unemployed women!!!

Women over 30 who still single/never been married are the one blame themselves on the ground of vivid imagination about "romantic" and "marriage".

some wants to bag all the degrees b4 settling dwn and b4 u kw it,they are way too old.

some wants to bag all the degrees before settling dwn and before u kw it,they are way too old.

Because your degrees will assure you of some food forever and nobody will take it away from you but your marriage can crash in 24 hrs.

RedHotChic:

Because your degrees will assure you of some food forever and nobody will take it away from you but your marriage can crash in 24 hrs.

Not always. Nigeria is a good example of this, right? How many Masters and Phd-holders in public turn jaguda or become alaarus.

Not always. Nigeria is a good example of this, right? How many Masters and Phd-holders in public turn jaguda or become alaarus.

Masters degree, may be; PHd, hell no,

many of them are career women.

u can only choose one. career or marriage?

many of them are career women.

u can only choose one. career or marriage?

You can have both and have it more abundantly. Kapish!!!

how do u do that?

i am not talking of half-baked career women. i mean ph.d upwards.

how do u do that?

i am not talking of half-baked career women. i mean ph.d upwards.

What do you mean? You can get a PhD and still marry now?

I think both men and women are to blame in this over 30 issue.

On the one hand,some women who find themselves single when approaching or over 30 are the architect of their predicament.

I beleive at one point in their "youth",they must have come across at LEAST one man who is good and has serious intentions with regards to a relationship,but due to an overestimation of themselves,coupled with an exagerrated arrogance and the false belief that there are much better men are around the corner,they ridicule the very men that they should at least give an opportunity to prove themselves.

When i started my PhD almost 2 yrs ago,i approached a lady who seemed nice for a relationship,but she rejected my advances with an insult, her friends later told me she said she cant hang out with " small boys" (Imagine an undergraduate calling a Phd student in his late twenties a small boy).
She met a white man,and decided he would make a better partner and i moved on.

Now that i'm approaching my final year,and she has become nice and waving to me on the street,etc,but i'm no longer interested in her.
By the way i dont see the white man around her anymore.

The point is that most nigerian women feel they are too much for young men with potential and are trying to lay foundations for their lives, and most men will not want to marry a lady who did not stand by her in his time of struggle.

That is also the reason all these "made men" they trip over for dump them ultimately,and by the time they should be at least pregnant with their first child,they find themselves in a stalemate.

On the other hand,some ladies are simple unfortunate.They genuinely fell in love with these struggling men,and even made sacrifices for them,but at the end of the day,they were humiliated and got dumped and were severely emotionally scared and really find it difficult to pick the remaining peices and move on.

I know of some who gave everything they had for their man and at the end of the day,they were tossed off in a very ruthless manner.

That is why some women seem hesitant to struggle with men.Some men can be very very cruel.

Both sides of the arguements having delved into,i will say that since women outnumber men (at least in Nigeria),in addition to the role social and family plays in our soceity,most men are always pressured into marrying younger,fresher ladies,

I say pressured because as i said earlier,some of these ladies are actually very good,but were just unlucky,but family members of the man (esp the female members) will reject an "old" lady because they feel she has messed about in her youth even though in some cases that is far from the truth.

Infact,some of these younger ladies are even worse.

But there is always hope for everyone, the fact that a lady is over 30 doesn't mean she can not meet a great man and have a happy marraige.

i believe women should marry when they find the right man,sincere love  and money should not be  the key factor,money will come if they both have faith,constructive and works hard.

most times am too lazy to type,from now on blame nobody, take responsibility for your mistakes,it will make u a better person,pray to God to give u wisdom, good men are always there.

Everyone should be blamed!!!

ebmulo:

I think both men and women are to blame in this over 30 issue.

On the one hand,some women who find themselves single when approaching or over 30 are the architect of their predicament.

I beleive at one point in their "youth",they must have come across at LEAST one man who is good and has serious intentions with regards to a relationship,but due to an overestimation of themselves,coupled with an exagerrated arrogance and the false belief that there are much better men are around the corner,they ridicule the very men that they should at least give an opportunity to prove themselves.

Word!!!

ebmulo:

When i started my PhD almost 2 years ago,i approached a lady who seemed nice for a relationship,but she rejected my advances with an insult, her friends later told me she said she can't hang out with " small boys" (Imagine an undergraduate calling a Phd student in his late twenties a small boy).
She met a white man,and decided he would make a better partner and i moved on.

Now that i'm approaching my final year,and she has become nice and waving to me on the street,etc,but i'm no longer interested in her.
By the way i don't see the white man around her anymore.

I would love to meet girls like this and show them pepper. Use and dump!

No pity, no regrets!

ebmulo:

On the other hand,some ladies are simple unfortunate.They genuinely fell in love with these struggling men,and even made sacrifices for them,but at the end of the day,they were humiliated and got dumped and were severely emotionally scared and really find it difficult to pick the remaining peices and move on.

I know of some who gave everything they had for their man and at the end of the day,they were tossed off in a very ruthless manner.

That is why some women seem hesitant to struggle with men.Some men can be very very cruel.

If I met a woman like this and like her, I would make her feel like gold.

And who says u can't marry after 30?. Nigerian Men are more matured now than before.

all the bad gals i knw when we were in school are happily married with a kid or two.many of the good gals are still waiting on the lord.

I am seriously usually amused when i see pips saying things like she messed up her self thats why she is still single this is so not true.
women really should never lower their standards just cos they want to be married you will only be shooting yourself. so if you still single and above 30 the gates of heaven isnt going to get locked against you just chill out and i think learn to play the game better.

You men are pathetic,

^^^ Why?