stillwater: For parents who don't have cash or money to buy stuff for their kids to bribe them, how do/would they get their kids to do stuff, since the escape route now is using money to bribe them?

I think there has to be one adult in the family that can tell the child no to certain things, could be the mum or dad. In my own case it was my mum that was the disciplinarian and my dad was just the fun loving chap that buys you chocolate all the time. Funny enough today the kids are more closer to my mum than dad, even though while growing up we couldn't stand her, lol.

It doesnt have to be a lot of money. I tell you, the children wont demand what is not obtainable in their environment.

When we were kids, my grandpa used to give us money on fridays. Everyone in the house would get new notes. Adults, like my mum would get 5naira each and we, children would get 1naira or 50kobo, depending on if you could recite the qur'an or not.

The money was very little and all we could buy with it was kulikuli. We all worked hard at being able to recite so as to graduate to the 1naira level.

That is one form of motivation, with little money that worked!

tpia@:
op

i would still like you to explain this concept of your children being "bad" or "good", i'm trying to understand your post.

good means respectful, humble, hard working, responsible adults.

deols:

Actually, there is no doubt about how important home training is and is not the matter of discourse here.

I am only asking of people's opinions on letting Children have their way.

Speaking as a mother, I know that you can not let. Children Always have their way. It gives them a sense of entitlement which does not exist in the real world. I remember as a child my. Mum refusing to let me have chocolates when the freezer was stuffed full and her only reason being "I don't want to spoil you"! EXASPERATING!!! I swore I would not do the same but now, I find myself doing same to my daughter. She wants to drink ribena every miniute. I know I have indulged her to some extent cos honestly I hate to hear her cry. And she has exploited it like no mans business. She doesn't do what I ask her to do, she is stubborn and obstinate. Now I have learnt to ignore her when I feel she has had enuough. To smack her when she is stubborn and to give her a time out in her room when she starts screaming. So my love, you can "spoil" your kids, but don't let them take it for granted.
My sister told me the story of a little boy who's parents took him abroad at the end of every term for holidays. One year, the family was bumped to 1st class from economy class as per frequent fliers! The little boy went back to school and started boasting to all little friends that he no longer flies economy class just first class. Holiday period rolled around and dear Daddy bought the usual economy class. Little boy refused to fly economy cos his classmates on the same flight would laugh at him. The little boy caused such a ruckus that his grandpa bumped his flight to business class for him. Is that how you want to spoil your children? Into believing what you do out of love is their right?
Sometimes we need to be tough and deprive them little so don't don't come out soft, mushy and feeling entitled. Maybe the day you can't provide your girl turns to aristo and the boy turns to Anini. Follow Gods word in raising kids on this one. One more thing, my grandfather was a very very rich man in the east, my uncle his son was made to carry stones in a barrow to sell in the market. He told me, that he hated his father then, but now he realises that it was just character building. He told me that the things his Dad made him do made him the man he is today. (In between, he petted and spoilt his daughters. My mum inclusive )

chaircover:

"make them as Comfortable as possible" for example is flying direct to Nigeria instead of stop overs and hanging round airports waiting for connections and its things like that that I was referring to when I said "maybe" they are spoilt or maybe not" . .it depends on how individuals see it. Is it comfort? is it luxury? is it just being a good parent? who knows?

parenting is an individual thing so long you always have an eye on the ball and are looking at the overall goal, which is to turn out well adjusted responsible adults then you do what you feel is best.

That is more like it

Daresh:

Speaking as a mother, I know that you can not let. Children Always have their way. It gives them a sense of entitlement which does not exist in the real world. I remember as a child my. Mum refusing to let me have chocolates when the freezer was stuffed full and her only reason being "I don't want to spoil you"! EXASPERATING!!! I swore I would not do the same but now, I find myself doing same to my daughter. She wants to drink ribena every miniute. I know I have indulged her to some extent cos honestly I hate to hear her cry. And she has exploited it like no mans business. She doesn't do what I ask her to do, she is stubborn and obstinate. Now I have learnt to ignore her when I feel she has had enuough. To smack her when she is stubborn and to give her a time out in her room when she starts screaming. So my love, you can "spoil" your kids, but don't let them take it for granted.
My sister told me the story of a little boy who's parents took him abroad at the end of every term for holidays. One year, the family was bumped to 1st class from economy class as per frequent fliers! The little boy went back to school and started boasting to all little friends that he no longer flies economy class just first class. Holiday period rolled around and dear Daddy bought the usual economy class. Little boy refused to fly economy cos his classmates on the same flight would laugh at him. The little boy caused such a ruckus that his grandpa bumped his flight to business class for him. Is that how you want to spoil your children? Into believing what you do out of love is their right?
Sometimes we need to be tough and deprive them little so don't don't come out soft, mushy and feeling entitled. Maybe the day you can't provide your girl turns to aristo and the boy turns to Anini. Follow Gods word in raising kids on this one. One more thing, my grandfather was a very very rich man in the east, my uncle his son was made to carry stones in a barrow to sell in the market. He told me, that he hated his father then, but now he realises that it was just character building. He told me that the things his Dad made him do made him the man he is today. (In between, he petted and spoilt his daughters. My mum inclusive )

He probably doesnt like the 'start up from the scratch' thingy.

Thanks for taking the time..will put it all in mind.

chaircover:

"make them as Comfortable as possible" for example is flying direct to Nigeria instead of stop overs and hanging round airports waiting for connections and its things like that that I was referring to when I said "maybe" they are spoilt or maybe not" . .it depends on how individuals see it. Is it comfort? is it luxury? is it just being a good parent? who knows?

parenting is an individual thing so long you always have an eye on the ball and are looking at the overall goal, which is to turn out well adjusted responsible adults then you do what you feel is best.

Good post CC
imo flying with minimal connections or chilling at a yotel between flights is not spoiling but common sense to me o
i dont think thats the idea the OP had when talking of spoiling

she is talking of living her child for one sole purpose - her brood
I wonder where the future husband or baby daddy comes in all this fantasy

deols: I have plans of 'spoiling' my Children.
When people hear this, they give me curious glances as if there is something wrong with it.

I just want them to have everything they want.
No one would be allowed to beat, bully, shout at or hurt them. Do these make them bad people?

I think all of these define being a good mother.

Do you think differently? I want honest opinion please?

One questioni
Do you have children now?

I had plans of marrying a multi millionaire but I ended up with someone on a molue bus

babyosisi:


One questioni
Do you have children now?

I had plans of marrying a multi millionaire but I ended up with someone on a molue bus

Lol..

well, I stand a very good chance. Unlike you