alutacontinua:

You don't believe they were actually test-driving, do you?
Vivi, there're people who actually obey the injunction to the letter. I know of a friend who never kissed her husband until the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride"-no touching, no smooching, no seeing each other's private parts, nothing-and to say they were in the relationship for about 7 years.

It's not easy but if one's primary aim is to obey God and his word-all you would ask for is his grace and live it one day at a time.

Do you also know if she never lusted after his touch when she lays down at night to sleep? Abeg, lets stop making case for anyone! The race is individual, we'll all answer for our test driving or following the rule to the letter.

I still stand by my earlier statement, to not test-drive, touch, kiss, lust is somewhat difficult! Anyone who is convinced he/she can attain this to the end should enlighten me. . . . I want to learn!

Last night i dreamt that i was the president of nigeria. You needed to see how i was dishing out orders to my ministers and all my subjects. Na wa for me oo! Alas i woke up to see it was a dream. Why do people find it hard to believe that some people abstained from sex till they married. It is now they were lusting. Na wa for people o!

freakcin:

Do you also know if she never lusted after his touch when she lays down at night to sleep? Abeg, lets stop making case for anyone! The race is individual, we'll all answer for our test driving or following the rule to the letter.

I still stand by my earlier statement, to not test-drive, touch, kiss, lust is somewhat difficult! Anyone who is convinced he/she can attain this to the end should enlighten me. . . . I want to learn!

alutacontinua:

You don't believe they were actually test-driving, do you?
Vivi, there're people who actually obey the injunction to the letter. I know of a friend who never kissed her husband until the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride"-no touching, no smooching, no seeing each other's private parts, nothing-and to say they were in the relationship for about 7 years.

It's not easy but if one's primary aim is to obey God and his word-all you would ask for is his grace and live it one day at a time.

alutacontinua:

You don't believe they were actually test-driving, do you?
Vivi, there're people who actually obey the injunction to the letter. I know of a friend who never kissed her husband until the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride"-no touching, no smooching, no seeing each other's private parts, nothing-and to say they were in the relationship for about 7 years.

It's not easy but if one's primary aim is to obey God and his word-all you would ask for is his grace and live it one day at a time.

Well, Thank God for her o, but for me I haven'T seen. The people I see actually do one form of thing or The oTher. And iTs worse in The church!
I used to sing into the church, buT The reason I stopped singing is this; wearing a sleeveless shirt, noT spag o was prohibiTed, in fact, if u dare u will be treaTed like a shi...t buT wiThin them They were fuc...king each oTher, The congregations were noT lefT out o, and They would mount the pulpiT in The morning? Wow! When I couldn't cope and I had a bf, I sTopped singing. Cos I can't smooch my bf all night and mounT The pulpiT, was scared God will strike me there. I really hate hypocrisy.
My former colleague won't let us hear in the sTaff bus, early morning o, when u will be busy thhinking about ur life, preaching don start. If u don't listen to his preaching, u are a devil. Yet he smooches his gf, infacT, the babe's laps was his wallpaper.

My course mate is a pasTor, Turned our deparTmenT inTo a mini church buT he is the firsT person thaT would sort every course.

Then, one of Them came To ask for my hand in marriage. He told me no se..x before marriage and I said super. Whenever I went to visit him, I dare noT spend The nighT, I would either lodge in a hotel or come back home. BuT he kept on sexting me which I hated. The conTents of The TexT messages were so raw That I couldn't leave them in my inbox, neiTher did I reply. One day I called him to order, told him I didn't appreciate such Texts and what the hell happened to "no se..x?" He ran away since Then, never heard from him again, till today. He said he couldn't stand my guTs *whatever ThaT means*

So AluTa, say for urself ok? In as much as we try to portray ourselves as gooder persons or whaTever, the quesTion is: who are we when no one is watching? How many of us actually follow The bible To the letTer? We are humans, we are noT infallible, buT honesTly, from whhat These my 2 small eyes have seen? Nne forgeT that thing biko.

bettymafy:

Bellong and others who said they married without testing, I have a question for u and please answer sincerely. . . Did u "touch/smooch" or kiss your partner before the wedding? Did u even as much as lust after him/her? If yes to any of the above, then please keep quiet, u also fornicated.

Is it possible not to lust over someone you are about to marry? Me I have a hyperactive mind o. Why am I marrying him if I don't feel an attractive pull towards him? . My boo must lust over me and vice versa.

vivianc:

Well, Thank God for her o, but for me I haven'T seen. The people I see actually do one form of thing or The oTher. And iTs worse in The church!
I used to sing into the church, buT The reason I stopped singing is this; wearing a sleeveless shirt, noT spag o was prohibiTed, in fact, if u dare u will be treaTed like a shi...t buT wiThin them They were fuc...king each oTher, The congregations were noT lefT out o, and They would mount the pulpiT in The morning? Wow! When I couldn't cope and I had a bf, I sTopped singing. Cos I can't smooch my bf all night and mounT The pulpiT, was scared God will strike me there. I really hate hypocrisy.
My former colleague won't let us hear in the sTaff bus, early morning o, when u will be busy thhinking about ur life, preaching don start. If u don't listen to his preaching, u are a devil. Yet he smooches his gf, infacT, the babe's laps was his wallpaper.

My course mate is a pasTor, Turned our deparTmenT inTo a mini church buT he is the firsT person thaT would sort every course.

Then, one of Them came To ask for my hand in marriage. He told me no se..x before marriage and I said super. Whenever I went to visit him, I dare noT spend The nighT, I would either lodge in a hotel or come back home. BuT he kept on sexting me which I hated. The conTents of The TexT messages were so raw That I couldn't leave them in my inbox, neiTher did I reply. One day I called him to order, told him I didn't appreciate such Texts and what the hell happened to "no se..x?" He ran away since Then, never heard from him again, till today. He said he couldn't stand my guTs *whatever ThaT means*

So AluTa, say for urself ok? In as much as we try to portray ourselves as gooder persons or whaTever, the quesTion is: who are we when no one is watching? How many of us actually follow The bible To the letTer? We are humans, we are noT infallible, buT honesTly, from whhat These my 2 small eyes have seen? Nne forgeT that thing biko.

Well, the fact that millions of people are doing it doesn't change the word of God. I get where you're coming from, I hate hypocrisy and I don't mingle with people that are into it. If you want to deviate from the word of God, deviate and let people know you're deviating, dt is wot i call deviating responsibly but I have seen a few people who stood for what they believed and I choose to follow after their footsteps rather than the ones who choose to go the other way. It's difficult, I am not disputing that and for someone like me, sometimes, it seems like an impossible task but as I said earlier on, one day at a time. Many people on this thread who have gone the opposite way are now trying to justify it. I am not even saying I cannot make a mistake or I have not made a mistake, I am saying we should stop justifying it with all these reasons: TEST-DRIVING, NOBODY IS PERFECT, etc...If all the people who have indulged in such on this thread would be sincere with themselves, the purpose was not to test-drive, their flesh took the better part of them and they gave in and here we are saying I test-drove. What is that Vivian, I think those people are even the ones to be accused of hypocrisy. Ain't nothing bad in saying "I did it, It was bad but I fell...God has forgiven me but I wouldn't advice an upcoming Christian to go into such". Simple! Trying to justify it ain't making any sense to me EXCEPT we can delete that part of the bible that goes against it. Now, that's the only justification that looks real and sensible to me.

I like your forthrightness

vivianc:

Well, Thank God for her o, but for me I haven'T seen. The people I see actually do one form of thing or The oTher. And iTs worse in The church!
I used to sing into the church, buT The reason I stopped singing is this; wearing a sleeveless shirt, noT spag o was prohibiTed, in fact, if u dare u will be treaTed like a shi...t buT wiThin them They were fuc...king each oTher, The congregations were noT lefT out o, and They would mount the pulpiT in The morning? Wow! When I couldn't cope and I had a bf, I sTopped singing. Cos I can't smooch my bf all night and mounT The pulpiT, was scared God will strike me there. I really hate hypocrisy.
My former colleague won't let us hear in the sTaff bus, early morning o, when u will be busy thhinking about ur life, preaching don start. If u don't listen to his preaching, u are a devil. Yet he smooches his gf, infacT, the babe's laps was his wallpaper.

My course mate is a pasTor, Turned our deparTmenT inTo a mini church buT he is the firsT person thaT would sort every course.

Then, one of Them came To ask for my hand in marriage. He told me no se..x before marriage and I said super. Whenever I went to visit him, I dare noT spend The nighT, I would either lodge in a hotel or come back home. BuT he kept on sexting me which I hated. The conTents of The TexT messages were so raw That I couldn't leave them in my inbox, neiTher did I reply. One day I called him to order, told him I didn't appreciate such Texts and what the hell happened to "no se..x?" He ran away since Then, never heard from him again, till today. He said he couldn't stand my guTs *whatever ThaT means*

So AluTa, say for urself ok? In as much as we try to portray ourselves as gooder persons or whaTever, the quesTion is: who are we when no one is watching? How many of us actually follow The bible To the letTer? We are humans, we are noT infallible, buT honesTly, from whhat These my 2 small eyes have seen? Nne forgeT that thing biko.

The bible says in Matt 5. 28 (KJV)

"28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

I believe a woman here is a female one is not married to...

stillwater:

Is it possible not to lust over someone you are about to marry? Me I have a hyperactive mind o. Why am I marrying him if I don't feel an attractive pull towards him? . My boo must lust over me and vice versa.

alutacontinua:

Well, the fact that millions of people are doing it doesn't change the word of God. I get where you're coming from, I hate hypocrisy and I don't mingle with people that are into it. If you want to deviate from the word of God, deviate and let people know you're deviating, dt is wot i call deviating responsibly but I have seen a few people who stood for what they believed and I choose to follow after their footsteps rather than the ones who choose to go the other way. It's difficult, I am not disputing that and for someone like me, sometimes, it seems like an impossible task but as I said earlier on, one day at a time. Many people on this thread who have gone the opposite way are now trying to justify it. I am not even saying I cannot make a mistake or I have not made a mistake, I am saying we should stop justifying it with all these reasons: TEST-DRIVING, NOBODY IS PERFECT, etc...If all the people who have indulged in such on this thread would be sincere with themselves, the purpose was not to test-drive, their flesh took the better part of them and they gave in and here we are saying I test-drove. What is that Vivian, I think those people are even the ones to be accused of hypocrisy. Ain't nothing bad in saying "I did it, It was bad but I fell...God has forgiven me but I wouldn't advice an upcoming Christian to go into such". Simple! Trying to justify it ain't making any sense to me EXCEPT we can delete that part of the bible that goes against it. Now, that's the only justification that looks real and sensible to me.

You are right, everybody is free to make his or her own choices. I only spoke cos of the heighT of hypocrisy people spew. I don't follow anyone's footstep, cos I can't follow whaT I don't know. I only speak for myself.

And To be honest, I don't Think se..x beTween inTending couple is a sin. I don't, bible sef is conTradictory o.
Pls for the sake of learning, can u throw more light on ThaT porTion of the bible where st. Paul implied ThaT when an inTending couple have sex, its no sex? Pls..........

alutacontinua:

Well, the fact that millions of people are doing it doesn't change the word of God. I get where you're coming from, I hate hypocrisy and I don't mingle with people that are into it. If you want to deviate from the word of God, deviate and let people know you're deviating, dt is wot i call deviating responsibly but I have seen a few people who stood for what they believed and I choose to follow after their footsteps rather than the ones who choose to go the other way. It's difficult, I am not disputing that and for someone like me, sometimes, it seems like an impossible task but as I said earlier on, one day at a time. Many people on this thread who have gone the opposite way are now trying to justify it. I am not even saying I cannot make a mistake or I have not made a mistake, I am saying we should stop justifying it with all these reasons: TEST-DRIVING, NOBODY IS PERFECT, etc...If all the people who have indulged in such on this thread would be sincere with themselves, the purpose was not to test-drive, their flesh took the better part of them and they gave in and here we are saying I test-drove. What is that Vivian, I think those people are even the ones to be accused of hypocrisy. Ain't nothing bad in saying "I did it, It was bad but I fell...God has forgiven me but I wouldn't advice an upcoming Christian to go into such". Simple! Trying to justify it ain't making any sense to me EXCEPT we can delete that part of the bible that goes against it. Now, that's the only justification that looks real and sensible to me.

You are right, everybody is free to make his or her own choices. I only spoke cos of the heighT of hypocrisy people spew. I don't follow anyone's footstep, cos I can't follow whaT I don't know. I only speak for myself.

And To be honest, I don't Think se..x beTween inTending couple is a sin. I don't, bible sef is conTradictory o.
Pls for the sake of learning, can u throw more light on ThaT porTion of the bible where st. Paul implied ThaT when an inTending couple have sex, its no sin? Pls..........

@Aluta: one more Thing, as for me, my flesh can't control me. I'm test-driving cos I wanna know whaT I'm getTing inTo.

You know I was engaged January (tho I called iT off). The guy and I knew for 6yrs Tho we weren't actually dating. When we agreed to get married, there was no sex. I knew I was gonna do iT but I wanTed To be sure the essence of The engagement ring wasn't to geT laid and so much more. In facT, I dinT even need To test-drive cos when I saw The shadow of what I could have goTten into? Holy molly! I knew There was no chance in hell I could marry him, and so much more.

Me, sTricTly Test-driving I swear, a liTTle fun while at iT wouldn't hurT anyway.

Well @alutacontinua you got it right there. The word hypocrisy has been flying left right centre since the beginning of this three from people who call themselves Christians. These same people are the early birds in church, sit in front rows and speak in tongues when they get carried away. The same people who every night and morning hold devotions with their family members--- tell me if the definition of hypocrisy isn't these people themselves?

Nothing wrong in saying .....I messed up cos I couldn't control myself, I did bad and confessed to God.....do not encourage others to sink like you did in the past. It is an act condemned by God, period.

I might as well kill someone, rape a little boy, and come here and give a justifiable reason for committing such violent act.

Little wonder they say God is not man, if not with the things I am reading here.........


PS let me see anybody here condemn or say nasty things about Callotti and her open marriage again.......worst off, its us christians that condemn that woman. She is better off, atleast she is not a Christian. Coogar take note

vivianc:

You are right, everybody is free to make his or her own choices. I only spoke cos of the heighT of hypocrisy people spew. I don't follow anyone's footstep, cos I can't follow whaT I don't know. I only speak for myself.

And To be honest, I don't Think se..x beTween inTending couple is a sin. I don't, bible sef is conTradictory o.
Pls for the sake of learning, can u throw more light on ThaT porTion of the bible where st. Paul implied ThaT when an inTending couple have sex, its no sin? Pls..........

I don't know what you're talking about. St. Paul said that keh...i didn't see it in my own bible oo.

Pre-marital sex is condemned in the bible. Anybody that tries to justify that either in words, thought or action should be the one to be called hypocrite. We all do things that we are not proud of, even examples abound in the bible...it only becomes hypocrisy when we try to make it look good and paint it right because we did it when we knew it's wrong. I have friends who had pre-marital sex, i don't judge them or see them as sinners, they knew what they did was wrong and asked for forgiveness. Except we're taking the bible out of this, i still don't see any justification.

Now, anybody that believes it ain't no sin should say so, that would be a different issue entirely.

Inasmuch as we agree that it is a sin, then there's no point justifying it...even if the whole world goes against it.

@AluTa: Yes, Paul did say That and I have read iT, just ThaT I simply do noT remember the parTicular porTion. Any day I do, I'd call ur attenTion to iT.

vivianc: @AluTa: Yes, Paul did say That and I have read iT, just ThaT I simply do noT remember the parTicular porTion. Any day I do, I'd call ur attenTion to iT.

Maybe you're referring to 1 Cor:7....that is one place where Paul really did talk about marriage and intimacy.

alutacontinua:

Maybe you're referring to 1 Cor:7....that is one place where Paul really did talk about marriage and intimacy.

Why did you quote her? Now she has no chance of modifying or retracting!

Vivi, u haff enta one chance! Where u buy ya own Bible kwanu?

Interesting read !

Everybody screaming about sin. Last time I checked bibeli so wi pe, one sin is not greater than the other. So abeg, can we have an alternative? Me I test drove,wella! It worked for me. When SI comes, I know I had a good ride. No surprise or disappointment, rather better things dey come up. I am not one for surprises. If you didn't marry as a pure virgin, abeg hide! You are no better than the F-1 test drivers. I don't buy that secondary virgin crap. Sin is sin, if you want to use bible to drown others out. If you have not sinned and fall short of glory, cast stones. Otherwise, let's move on. Now, what is the alternative? I have not heard a reasonable one sha o.

vivianc:

And To be honest, I don't Think se..x beTween inTending couple is a sin. I don't, bible sef is conTradictory o.
Pls for the sake of learning, can u throw more light on ThaT porTion of the bible where st. Paul implied ThaT when an inTending couple have sex, its no sin? Pls..........

The first bolded, do you mean it seriously?

The second, don't get it twisted, if its the portion you intended to say, It says if a person cannot hold body, he/she should go and marry. From the bible I do read, I am yet to come across where it says its free for all intending couples.

baby_123: Everybody screaming about sin. Last time I checked bibeli so wi pe, one sin is not greater than the other. So abeg, can we have an alternative? Me I test drove,wella! It worked for me. When SI comes, I know I had a good ride. No surprise or disappointment, rather better things dey come up. I am not one for surprises. If you didn't marry as a pure virgin, abeg hide! You are no better than the F-1 test drivers. I don't buy that secondary virgin crap. Sin is sin, if you want to use bible to drown others out. If you have not sinned and fall short of glory, cast stones. Otherwise, let's move on. Now, what is the alternative? I have not heard a reasonable one sha o.

Do you agree that pre-marital sex is against the injunctions of the bible or not?

My iPad KJV 1Cor7

Celibacy and Marriage

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

* runs off thread again*

alutacontinua:

Do you agree that pre-marital sex is against the injunctions of the bible or not?

Do you agree that judging others is a sin? Or lying? Are you a virgin? Are you going to run my race? Are you going to stand before God on my behalf? Do you know if as a person, I am actually better than you when it comes to God? Are you one of those who believes premarital sex is okay, but once you see "potential" husband it becomes a sin? What is your guarantee of making heaven? Worry about all these. Now, what is your alternative?

.

Premarital sex is bad, period. So Is stealing and other sins, do not justify it. It's wrong . The fact that people fall for these things does not make it right.

Thats the point.

vivianc: @AluTa: Yes, Paul did say That and I have read iT, just ThaT I simply do noT remember the parTicular porTion. Any day I do, I'd call ur attenTion to iT.

I totally remember that verse. Caused somuch arguement amongst my friends somany years ago. Will try and dig it up.

Nice contributions

Summary is that nearly everyone here believes premarital sex is sin
Everyone contributing so far,indulged in one way or another before marriage with their intended
Some think they were already set on marrying the man and don't think they did wrong
Others feel they erred and should have waited

jennykadry: .

Premarital sex is bad, period. So Is stealing and other sins, do not justify it. It's wrong . The fact that people fall for these things does not make it right.

Thats the point.

Hugging?
Kissing?
Squeezing?
Electric fingers
bJ
Ring around the roses without diving in
and imagining them unclad?


Show me anyone that kept away from them all while engaged and I will show you someone that has no business being married

May God bless us and bless us with meek spirit, that gentle spirit that would stop us from cussing out the pedophiles, rapists, child abusers, serial killers etc. after all sin na sin.

@osisi

Lol, eziokwu I have no qualms with people that test drive, it's live and let's live. My point from the beginning has always been even though we fall a million times a day, it doesn't make it right, but we are human


Actually I can show you people who never did those things and are happily married. Lust "alone" cannot define a marriage

alutacontinua:

Do you agree that pre-marital sex is against the injunctions of the bible or not?

This may change the topic sha
Let us be practical again as Christians

How does a Christian man identify a woman he wants to marry without having strong S.exual attraction towards her
Isn't that what must happen
Is sex.ual attraction not imagining the person in bed nak.ed
Is that thought in itself not sin since the Bible says lust is sin?
A Christian man that likes big behinds and ample chests will naturally want a sister with those qualities and you don't have to test drive that one,it is evident through the outfits
Do we call that brother a sinner ?
Or should he go the way of churches that pair up their members by " revelations" and no physical attraction?
And once the match is made,they immediately wed

@Aluta: nah, not that verse. I promise I'd call ur atTenTion to iT when I find iT. My "devilish" friend dey rig, na him first show me the verse o, I can't reach him. When I do, I'd get back To u.

@Freakin, anarom akucha akucha (I no dey fear o)

@BeTtymafy: If you can, pls do.

@Bellong: nah, noT That verse.


It's clearly wriTten abouT intending couples, noT bf and gf.

jennykadry: May God bless us and bless us with meek spirit, that gentle spirit that would stop us from cussing out the pedophiles, rapists, child abusers, serial killers etc. after all sin na sin.

@osisi

Lol, eziokwu I have no qualms with people that test drive, it's live and let's live. My point from the beginning has always been even though we fall a million times a day, it doesn't make it right, but we are human


Actually I can show you people who never did those things and are happily married. Lust "alone" cannot define a marriage

I don't believe you Jenny
Unless the people were arranged and wedded the next day,it is not possible not to imagine your future partner in bed at many points
Think about her and self-service off ( for the men)
We haven't even delved into phone and Skype SE.x and sext which Christians indulge in then believe they haven't had SE.x
Some do everything but penetrate yet tell us they saved themselves till marriage

I hear you all

BTW the red highlighted part is you taking this discussion overboard with unrelated comparisons
How can you equate someone chopping their engaged lover to henious criminal offences with death penalties and long jail terms
Na wa