A friend of mine discovered finally yesterday that are hubby is seeing a married woman...someone she has always seen as a friend to the family...actually she's been suspecting for a while now and she confided in me....we came up with a plan...she tapped the calls on her hubby's fone without his knowledge...the bubble burst yesternight...the hubby actually took to woman to a guest house..he came back very late....she's a very kool person...and to think that she has a better source of income than the hubby...she carries most of the financial responsibilities in the house and their second weddin anniversary is in 2weeks....she asked me wat she should do, I dint even kno wat to tell her...told her to go to bed and we'll discuss more dis morning....What should I tell her...she's even a nursing mother..her baby's just 2months....to think I have always respected thie man...and I even use him as a model for my own hubby too...moreover, he's a pastor...the oda woman according to my friend has 4children....It's rily dishearterning....pls keep the advice coming...Godbless

There is nothing new under the sun again.

Its very disheartening indeed. I advise that ur friend calmly confronts her hubby with the issue and if he denies it, let her prove to him with the evidence she has. His reaction should determine the next line of action that ur friend needs to take. If he owns up and shows that he is really sorry, ur friend may decide to forgive him or even put an end to the marriage because 'divorce is allowed on the grounds of adultery'. But let her also consider the future of her child. It wouldn't be easy psychologically for the child to grow up without the presence and direct impact of the father. But if he denies the accusation even after providing the evidence, I advise that ur friend run away from such a union coz the man will continue in such immoral course. These are my opinions, the final decision rests on your friend herself.

Men are polygamous by nature. Tell your friend to advise her hubby to use condom because there is little you can do to curb a cheating husband.

yemmit90: Men are polygamous by nature. Tell your friend to advise her hubby to use condom because there is little you can do to curb a cheating husband.

There is 'so much' she can do to curb her cheating husband. She should simply leave his sorry ass if he persists in such irresponsible manner.

My sister abeg leave them to sort there problems. Afterall you are just a friend. Make she no later when she settles for divorce see you and your hubby dey jealous say na you advice make she scatter her union. My God Help You.

yemmit90: Men are polygamous by nature. Tell your friend to advise her hubby to use condom because there is little you can do to curb a cheating husband.

May God have mercy upon your perverted belief for no man is polygamous in nature. Who told you that? The almighty God who created heaven and earth and human, made adam and made only eve and finally joined the two as one flesh. May God have mercy upon your wife, children and generation because if you keep harbouring that devilish belief and went into adultery to get certificate in it, you will bring reproach upon yourself as david did just because of "one stand" of adultery. Meanwhile mediate on proverbs 6 verses 32-33, lest i forgot, you will reap every single seed whether moral or immoral, that you have sown. Goodluck!

How did she tap into the hubby's phone?

Cholls: My sister abeg leave them to sort there problems. Afterall you are just a friend. Make she no later when she settles for divorce see you and your hubby dey jealous say na you advice make she scatter her union. My God Help You.

I think this guy has a point.
But seriously, 2nd year of marriage and he's a pastor I keep saying most of these Christian brothers are
If you have to advice her, tell her to sit him down and talk to him. Maybe, just maybe she can still redeem him. MAY GOD HELP HER!

yemmit90: Men are polygamous by nature. Tell your friend to advise her hubby to use condom because there is little you can do to curb a cheating husband.

Sorry to burst your bubble Bob but men are not polygamous by nature. People are as polygamous as their weakness of character makes them. I am not and neither is my father nor his father before him. If 3 generations can do it,......

For the Op, I can only advise that your friend carefully confront her husband. Emphasis on CAREFULLY. Her husband being a pastor, I want to believe there is some measure of a conscience or at least a fear of shame and exposure.

Confront him but no ranting and raving and bitching about no matter how much she wants to. Women being women, I know this will be difficult but it will be easier to get him to make amends if she is calm. If it degenerates into a fight, ego might just take over and she will be a lot worse for it.

uboma:

There is 'so much' she can do to curb her cheating husband. She should simply leave his sorry ass if he persists in such irresponsible manner.

What if she doesn't want to leave him?

Princess zoe: May God have mercy upon your perverted belief for no man is polygamous in nature. Who told you that? The almighty God who created heaven and earth and human, made adam and made only eve and finally joined the two as one flesh. May God have mercy upon your wife, children and generation because if you keep harbouring that devilish belief and went into adultery to get certificate in it, you will bring reproach upon yourself as david did just because of "one stand" of adultery. Meanwhile mediate on proverbs 6 verses 32-33, lest i forgot, you will reap every single seed whether moral or immoral, that you have sown. Goodluck!

What has "Creation Story" got to do with a man that committed adultery.

Nobody says adultery is good,but the fact still remain whether you like it or not, a man who has already been engage in adultery need only God grace and mercy to discontinue.

Truth is usually bitter especially with Nairalanders. A God fearing man will never leave his wife for anything let alone relationship of less than 2years.

@op, your friend should let her husband know she's aware of his affair with other woman and remind him of the risks involve(STD).

So OP, how about your husband, do you know if he's having an affair too? Afterall, his mentor has fallen!
When women are told that the grass on the other side is really isn't greener, dem go dey form enlightened.
You better go and face your own marriage.

LewsTherin:

Sorry to burst your bubble Bob but men are not polygamous by nature. People are as polygamous as their weakness of character makes them. I am not and neither is my father nor his father before him. If 3 generations can do it,......

For the Op, I can only advise that your friend carefully confront her husband. Emphasis on CAREFULLY. Her husband being a pastor, I want to believe there is some measure of a conscience or at least a fear of shame and exposure.

Confront him but no ranting and raving and bitching about no matter how much she wants to. Women being women, I know this will be difficult but it will be easier to get him to make amends if she is calm. If it degenerates into a fight, ego might just take over and she will be a lot worse for it.

Well,I don't blame you guys saying man is Monogamous in nature or whatever, one has to read,study or research to the greater extent to understand this fact.

I'm apostle of monogamy, not because of something else but civilisation,reasoning and risks involve.

Princess zoe: May God have mercy upon your perverted belief for no man is polygamous in nature. Who told you that? The almighty God who created heaven and earth and human, made adam and made only eve and finally joined the two as one flesh. May God have mercy upon your wife, children and generation because if you keep harbouring that devilish belief and went into adultery to get certificate in it, you will bring reproach upon yourself as david did just because of "one stand" of adultery. Meanwhile mediate on proverbs 6 verses 32-33, lest i forgot, you will reap every single seed whether moral or immoral, that you have sown. Goodluck!

and that is why most of die in heart break, so if truly there is nothing you can do nko? Then advice the woman to tell her friend to divorce but don't tell me she should be praying about it cos that doesn't have a time frame, otherwise its as good as either enduring or accepting your fate. The guy might be right because at least 80% of men do cheat, don't swear for your hubby cos he might just be the head and good at the game as most men do. Be wise, the woman should have tried the formula of making the man spend more with her other than tapping his phone for whatever reason.
My final warning is that she should be very careful else she destroys her family with her own hands. No human, I repeat no human is and will ever be a saint as long as he/she breaths this same breath and shares in this same planet. Be wise

Ask her to pray and get counsel from a true man of God. She should do the anniversary and ask God to change him.

Desric: and that is why most of die in heart break, so if truly there is nothing you can do nko? Then advice the woman to tell her friend to divorce but don't tell me she should be praying about it cos that doesn't have a time frame, otherwise its as good as either enduring or accepting your fate. The guy might be right because at least 80% of men do cheat, don't swear for your hubby cos he might just be the head and good at the game as most men do. Be wise, the woman should have tried the formula of making the man spend more with her other than tapping his phone for whatever reason.
My final warning is that she should be very careful else she destroys her family with her own hands. No human, I repeat no human is and will ever be a saint as long as he/she breaths this same breath and shares in this same planet. Be wise

Nice one from a realist!

yemmit90:

What if she doesn't want to leave him?

that decision is neither urs nor mine to make. Leave her to make the final decision.

Yemmit on your second reply to me, your first and second paragraph are very funny and sound defensive so i will pass because the truth you claimed is bitter is what you are twisting meanwhile the rest of your sentences are not bad. @ desric, let me make this clear to you, God knows His own and gives them what He knows there will benefit from especially those who fear Him. Those that trust their God can never get less. He is too faithful to disappoint. What He gives is perfect and adds no heart trauma. Sorry brother, i do not have a cheating husband and can never have one. You made mention of 80% of married men cheating but forgot to add that almost same rate of married women cheat. Do not forget that adultery is a legal and biblical ground for divorce and remarry. A man who finds out that his lovely and christian wife cheats him with a married man, determines whether to divorce her or not, same applies to a woman whose husband had sex with a married woman. No man is a saint does not mean that you should not try to be faithful and imbibe the fear of God because God knows that is only adultery that can defile marriage lest He wouldn't have said "do not divorce except on the basis of adultery". Maybe we have to start the practical aspect of why Jesus said this with your married partner sleeping with someone's else married partner. Come back and tell me the result. @op am sorry about this issue(if it is real). Is not good when pastors are seen or heard involving in immorality. Being a pastor, evangelist, choir master or mistress, usher, minister or even priest and rev. Sister, does not mean you are a born again or a geniue child of God. It is the fear of God in you that seperates you from the wolves. It is the fear of God that will make you not to indulge in adultery. That is why you don't marry someone who claims to be a child of God by their title(pastor, singer in the church, cleaner in the church) or rather you marry them by their fruits and approval from God which is the best. @op, you can divorce as well as remain, the choice is yours meanwhile get approval from God. MY LAST WORDS ON THIS THREAD!

Princess zoe: Yemmit on your second reply to me, your first and second paragraph are very funny and sound defensive so i will pass because the truth you claimed is bitter is what you are twisting meanwhile the rest of your sentences are not bad. @ desric, let me make this clear to you, God knows His own and gives them what He knows there will benefit from especially those who fear Him. Those that trust their God can never get less. He is too faithful to disappoint. What He gives is perfect and adds no heart trauma. Sorry brother, i do not have a cheating husband and can never have one. You made mention of 80% of married men cheating but forgot to add that almost same rate of married women cheat. Do not forget that adultery is a legal and biblical ground for divorce and remarry. A man who finds out that his lovely and christian wife cheats him with a married man, determines whether to divorce her or not, same applies to a woman whose husband had sex with a married woman. No man is a saint does not mean that you should not try to be faithful and imbibe the fear of God because God knows that is only adultery that can defile marriage lest He wouldn't have said "do not divorce except on the basis of adultery". Maybe we have to start the practical aspect of why Jesus said this with your married partner sleeping with someone's else married partner. Come back and tell me the result. @op am sorry about this issue(if it is real). Is not good when pastors are seen or heard involving in immorality. Being a pastor, evangelist, choir master or mistress, usher, minister or even priest and rev. Sister, does not mean you are a born again or a geniue child of God. It is the fear of God in you that seperates you from the wolves. It is the fear of God that will make you not to indulge in adultery. That is why you don't marry someone who claims to be a child of God by their title(pastor, singer in the church, cleaner in the church) or rather you marry them by their fruits and approval from God which is the best. @op, you can divorce as well as remain, the choice is yours meanwhile get approval from God. MY LAST WORDS ON THIS THREAD!

wise words...

Keneking: How did she tap into the hubby's phone?

that is where the joke begins.
The story is actually not true

Keneking: How did she tap into the hubby's phone?

Exactly my tots, people just come around here to tell us tales by moonlight! Must people post topics at all cost?? Anyway, you folks can continue to give advice to fantasies

SLIDE waxie: that is where the joke begins.
The story is actually not true

this is 21st century babes...wen I say she tapped into her hubby's phone...what she actually di set the phone to record all conversation her hubby has without his knowledge....she even wanted to send d conversation to her blackberry phone but it wasn't possible so she recorded it on voicenote and later forwarded it to me....what is stressing sumone out sumwhere is actually very funny to u.....The woman even stil camt to their house today according to my friend...we don't stay in the city but she's my very good friend...and she's been keepin me abreaion...she's so down right now...I wish I could go visit her sef

Oh no...used my fone to type and its all moodled up....I op u get my points sha

Tell her to poison him..

busolayemi: this is 21st century babes...wen I say she tapped into her hubby's phone...what she actually di set the phone to record all conversation her hubby has without his knowledge....she even wanted to send d conversation to her blackberry phone but it wasn't possible so she recorded it on voicenote and later forwarded it to me....what is stressing sumone out sumwhere is actually very funny to u.....The woman even stil camt to their house today according to my friend...we don't stay in the city but she's my very good friend...and she's been keepin me abreaion...she's so down right now...I wish I could go visit her sef

it only got funny wen u said 'tapped', like u guys got some military devices that bugs a phone.
maybe u need to be more concise nxt time.

Anyway, my advice will go to YOU:

Dnt have a hand in another person's marital affairs. Jes tell her u are as confused as she is.
But she can confront the husband with the evidence.

Lobatan!

SLIDE waxie: it only got funny wen u said 'tapped', like u guys got some military devices that bugs a phone.
maybe u need to be more concise nxt time.

Anyway, my advice will go to YOU:

Dnt have a hand in another person's marital affairs. Jes tell her u are as confused as she is.
But she can confront the husband with the evidence.

Lobatan!

tanx for ur advice...but anoda time u could. Be better off with ur commentss...Not everyone is as jobless as jst coming ere to create fake stories

i smell widowhood