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Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. - Romance - Nairaland

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Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Phranciz(m): 5:54am On Jul 09, 2013
My Ex who unfortunately jilted me about 18 months ago is getting married. I have always avoided speaking to her since then because hearing her voice brings back all the beautiful moments I shared with her. To cut d long story short I changed my line (her not being the reason though) but never gave her my new line. Yesterday, a close friend called me to tell me she would be getting married,and that she asked after me @lst to talk to me. He adviced me to call her, sent me her number. But the problem is it took me close a year to actually move on ( none of my relationship had actually worked since then, as I try hard to protect myself, so I end up being selfish, at least so one of them said),but getting to hear her voice again and knowing this time I have lost her completely and finally ( as I always wished I would see her again and may be we start all over) would completely break me down. Really scared of having a post traumatic case again, but my friend told me talking to her would be part of my healing process. I don't know if its actually okay to face it or keep avoiding it and let sleeping dogs lie.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by k2039: 7:31am On Jul 09, 2013
Just ignore, let sleeping dogs lie. It's safer for you health and stop listening to slow music so that you don't imagine stupid Bollywood movies in your mind.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times you looked so long to the closed but we don’t see the one which has been open for us.
There are things you would love to hear that you would never hear from the person you would like to hear them from. But don’t be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 7:52am On Jul 09, 2013
In your own case, it's a bad idea to call her, if after 18 months, you can still talk like this. I see you crying on phone with her, and that's just a no no.

But to people like us who have no time to cry over spoilt milk, I'll not only call, but be in attendance. If you keep telling yourself you can never get a better lady, you won't. She didn't want you, and she left you. Get someone better.

4 Likes

Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by bknight: 8:06am On Jul 09, 2013
Don't call.

Just to Wish her a happy married life is a lame excuse. You can as well call to wish her happy new month or happy new day (a new day is even a better achievement than marriage). Calling her opens up opportunities for more problems. That's an attempt to complicate things. My bit undecided

1 Like

Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by nutigal: 8:13am On Jul 09, 2013
Don't call her. Obviously you haven't gotten over it. Let it go bro.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by cycline404(m): 9:28am On Jul 09, 2013
Bro.! It is ur right to wish her best in life... It is not a must to call her on the phone or see her.
Just say it and let it go.
The door has closed... Relax and be on the watch out another door will open.
This happens just because u re yet to move on with ur life... Men once u moved on u can call her to say hi.. Thats all...
Be Strong my brother...
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 9:46am On Jul 09, 2013
OP, take this advice.

It is obvious that you haven't moved on and so, it wouldn't be wise to call her.


As sexkilz say, get someone better than her. Yup, it would be pride and could even make her shiver when she sees you in the future... And don't just get someone better, get better financially and otherwise. That's what I have set my eyes on since I experienced such... And it's working already.
sexkillz: In your own case, it's a bad idea to call her, if after 18 months, you can still talk like this. I see you crying on phone with her, and that's just a no no.

But to people like us who have no time to cry over spoilt milk, I'll not only call, but be in attendance. If you keep telling yourself you can never get a better lady, you won't. She didn't want you, and she left you. Get someone better.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 9:50am On Jul 09, 2013
Why is everybody saying dnt call?

Avoiding the issue is not always the best way out. Talking with her could actually be the healing u have been waiting for all these while.

Keep it in mind that all relationships must nt lead to marriage. Friendship to me is even more important than relationship. You need to let go,forgive watever is it she caused you. That u both did nt end up together should nt make her an enemy.

My opinion.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 9:53am On Jul 09, 2013
2s£xy:
OP, take this advice.

It is obvious that you haven't moved on and so, it wouldn't be wise to call her.


As sexkilz say, get someone better than her. Yup, it would be pride and could even make her shiver when she sees you in the future... And don't just get someone better, get better financially and otherwise. That's what I have set my eyes on since I experienced such... And it's working already.

This is childish.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Enegod(m): 10:07am On Jul 09, 2013
op, be mature enough to call her..she is not your enemy.you are still feeling the pain all this while because you haven't let go.You must accept the fact that you two weren't meant to be together. Pick up the phone,call her,be yourself,act normal, wish her the best and believe me all this healing you have been waiting for will start..
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Enegod(m): 10:08am On Jul 09, 2013
chidyhels: Why is everybody saying dnt call?

Avoiding the issue is not always the best way out. Talking with her could actually be the healing u have been waiting for all these while.

Keep it in mind that all relationships must nt lead to marriage. Friendship to me is even more important than relationship. You need to let go,forgive watever is it she caused you. That u both did nt end up together should nt make her an enemy.

My opinion.
cool
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Cholls(m): 10:29am On Jul 09, 2013
My Brother follow your heart I know you wish to make that call so do it and don't be hesitant.
From my own stance I can see you still love her. Ok fine she gilted you but you love her but then I mean why did you have to let her go in the first place when you know your heart was still tied to her. Now the break up is coursing a trauma in your own life and she's doing fine. My advice is for you to call her wish her happy marriage life and let her know how you feel and that you would be happy if you two can be friends(not boyfriends
,girlfriend thing o) so you can recover. And if you cant do this.Then ask her if she can get one of her friends for you.

My brother all this are just therapy to get your man,ego,swag back to life so you can moving on, on your love life.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 10:42am On Jul 09, 2013
^ i have to ask the same question.
Why did u let her go?
Pride? Abi u taught like 2sexy; u will get a better gal?

Men should learnt to put ego down when it comes to their own happiness. You have been dieing in silence for years now,when u could have jst opend up.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 10:51am On Jul 09, 2013
Only lazy people die in silence, and to them I say, "Happy dying" and "congratulations for allowing a woman you aren't married to, who deemed you inadequate hold your emotions to ransom.

She left for a reason, respect that and suck it up.

The ones who know wassup realizes that this is life. Things don't always go according to plans. Upsets and disappointments are bound to occur. We dust ourselves up and move on. Fight for someone who doesn't want you? Say who die na? What sort of nonsenticology is that pls? You don't know your worth or you are too lazy to turn your situation into a stepping stone or what? She chose to leave, let her go! You wanted her to stay, she didn't want to stay. Why must you fight for her? You chop craze? You no get work or better thing to do than to pursue woman Wey carry her 2 legs waka comot?

Guys need to wake up mehn. If you cry over a girl who left you for 18 months, you'll cry over everything. Anticipate disappointments and manage them effectively.

1 Like

Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by clemz85(m): 11:03am On Jul 09, 2013
op, i carry suitcase of any one who advices you to let lie the sleeping dog
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Oluschenco(m): 11:12am On Jul 09, 2013
I can call her no matter what, because this world is a global village and we may still need one another in different ways. Our kids may meet to become friends anywhere anytime.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by LoveAmaka88(f): 11:14am On Jul 09, 2013
1. She's a selfish witch for what she did to you in the first place and 2. She's even more of a selfish witch for not allowing you to enjoy your peace and wanting to stir things up. She probably wants to talk to you to reassure herself that she made the right decision or to boost her ego. Either way you'll end up hurt and no better off. Just ask yourself what is the happiest possible outcome of speaking with her. Will it melt away the pain and humiliation? Or cause new pain? Running on a broken foot doesn't make it heal faster.

I say don't call, lose the number, and tell your friend not to bring it up again. She wasn't concerned for your well being when you were together and won't be any more concerned when she has a husband.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 11:32am On Jul 09, 2013
Guy,

If you know there is no affection from you towards her... You can call her but please do not go further... God hates Adultery so much... and dont spoil her marriage with your own thoughts because it can happen... Stay Cool
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 12:14pm On Jul 09, 2013
I agree with Sexkillz completely

I'm still friends with all my exes except 1- and na she dey front

Relationships change...get used to it.

Besides if you're the vengeful type, there's still a chance to nack if you play it right... No better revenge than shaggingg her and messing with her head and marriage...but that's only if you're vengeful and spiteful...like me.

Otherwise Suck it Up bruv.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 12:21pm On Jul 09, 2013
jackbauersballs: I agree with Sexkillz completely

I'm still friends with all my exes except 1- and na she dey front

Relationships change...get used to it.

Besides if you're the vengeful type, there's still a chance to nack if you play it right... No better revenge than shaggingg her and messing with her head and marriage...but that's only if you're vengeful and spiteful...like me.

Otherwise Suck it Up bruv.

Guy,

Please in everything you do during revenge, please dont try it near marriage... Just let it go... God aint right with it at the most... Please
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Kirinwa: 12:34pm On Jul 09, 2013
sexkillz: In your own case, it's a bad idea to call her, if after 18 months, you can still talk like this. I see you crying on phone with her, and that's just a no no.

But to people like us who have no time to cry over spoilt milk, I'll not only call, but be in attendance. If you keep telling yourself you can never get a better lady, you won't. She didn't want you, and she left you. Get someone better.


Baba o!Tuwalé.Infact respect to you.Mehn. I love this. D;
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Kirinwa: 12:43pm On Jul 09, 2013
chidyhels: Why is everybody saying dnt call?

Avoiding the issue is not always the best way out. Talking with her could actually be the healing u have been waiting for all these while.

Keep it in mind that all relationships must nt lead to marriage. Friendship to me is even more important than relationship. You need to let go,forgive watever is it she caused you. That u both did nt end up together should nt make her an enemy.

My opinion.

Baby it's a letdown. Monumental fuckup.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by 190: 12:52pm On Jul 09, 2013
All becos of punny


Mschewww undecided
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 1:12pm On Jul 09, 2013
.

2 Likes

Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 1:25pm On Jul 09, 2013
sanb: There are 2 ways to it…..

1).If you call her to wish her HML, leave it at that i.e. no further discussion should take place.; or
2).You don’t call her at all. (I’ll advice you to go for this option)… cool

There are certain things in life that we want and don’t get no matter how much we try. This is one of them. You tried hard with this lady but it didn’t work out. If it did, then she won’t be an EX and you’ll be getting married to her instead.

IMHO, my advice to you would be not to call her…..If she’s still clamouring to hear from you, then it shows she’s a selfish lady who is not content with her current husband to be…..Don’t waste any more time thinking about this lady; SHE'LL SOON BE GETTING MARRIED; NOW IS THE TIME TO FORGET ABOUT HER AND MOVE ON SWIFTLY....

Never think you won’t find someone better…cos that’ll not be right. You’ll find someone much better than your EX and that's reality.... cool

Excellent!
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 2:06pm On Jul 09, 2013
Oh... I see. Childish ehn? She left him for a reason and I know one of them would/could be what I stated... And now, she is getting married, isn't she? That shows that she left for financial or well stabled guy.

If the OP could feel this way, it means he really loved her and possibly more than she loved him, which isn't really healthy for any relationship.
chidyhels:

This is childish.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Cholls(m): 2:15pm On Jul 09, 2013
sanb: There are 2 ways to it…..

1).If you call her to wish her HML, leave it at that i.e. no further discussion should take place.; or
2).You don’t call her at all. (I’ll advice you to go for this option)… cool

There are certain things in life that we want and don’t get no matter how much we try. This is one of them. You tried hard with this lady but it didn’t work out. If it did, then she won’t be an EX and you’ll be getting married to her instead.

IMHO, my advice to you would be not to call her…..If she’s still clamouring to hear from you, then it shows she’s a selfish lady who is not content with her current husband to be…..Don’t waste any more time thinking about this lady; SHE'LL SOON BE GETTING MARRIED; NOW IS THE TIME TO FORGET ABOUT HER AND MOVE ON SWIFTLY....

Never think you won’t find someone better…cos that’ll not be right. You’ll find someone much better than your EX and that's reality.... cool

Sisi can't you read Between the lines? This brother still love that woman and its causing a lot of damage in his love life. Abeg leave him let him call the lady in question just so he get his ego back.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 2:30pm On Jul 09, 2013
She was asking after you so I don't see why you should have to make the call, but I see nothing wrong with wishing her well if her wedding comes up in conversation
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 2:36pm On Jul 09, 2013
.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by opensecret: 2:36pm On Jul 09, 2013
With all you typed in your opening post, why are you still asking the question.


Are you into sado masochism or something, you like beating yourself up?
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Kirinwa: 3:00pm On Jul 09, 2013
Op let it go.
Re: Is To Okay To Call An Ex To Wish Her A Happy Married Life. by Nobody: 4:39pm On Jul 09, 2013
2s£xy:
Oh... I see. Childish ehn? She left him for a reason and I know one of them would/could be what I stated... And now, she is getting married, isn't she? That shows that she left for financial or well stabled guy.

If the OP could feel this way, it means he really loved her and possibly more than she loved him, which isn't really healthy for any relationship.

2sexy u dnt knw what caused their brkup. Fine she left, it must have been for a reason that d op didnt state.
Very soon u will start all these ur ex talk. Keep competiting with sm1 that has found her happiness elsewhere,lets see hw fullfilmdnt comes from that.

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