zhukafa:


Just finished reading the thread, and this is my advice to you.

1) Don't walk out of the marriage as some has adviced, note that , No two marriages are the same . Marriages are mearnt for the two partners to work out there modalities.

2) Allow him , don't question him any longer. I believe everyone has a heart. He married you, there is something that he saw in you that made him leave his house and seek for your consent in marriage.

3) Always learn how to put your marriage in prayers, any time you are praying. Some woman out there want him, so you should use your spiritual warfare which is prayers, to fight back.

4) Any one here that is married that can own up and say that him or her partner hasn't quarrelled or attempted or fought before should say it here.

5) Try to know when he is upset, when he is, leave him and when he is in a more better mode, tell him what he is doing or what he has done which is wrong.

6) Don't involve friends to settle your marriage dispute, because your marriage would thrown out to people outside and they would use it to talk over.

Thanks.

So what should she do about the cheating husband who has condoms in his pocket? Buy him more condoms or organize babes for him?

And About the beating what should she do? Should she keep on taking the punches, head smashing on stabilizer and soon concrete

I just want to understand what you would tell your sister is she comes to tell you she found condom in her husbands pocket and when she asked questions she got beaten up badly

vivianc:

Nwanne kpesiere anyi ekpere ike o, egwu dikwa! Ihe nke a bu gini biko nu? Everyday ona afiotu, ndi luru di n'ebe, ndi na alubeghi ana ebe.

I don use akpuru achia wash my eyes o, make e clear well well.

May God help us!


@poster: I'm not qualified to advise you but I pray you get the best advice here. I also pray God grants you the courage to implement whatever decision you take no matter how drastic. All I can say is please take care of yourself, go see a doc and get some drugs, maybe pain relieve drugs. Ndo biko inugo?

Nne aru mere!!otu nwoke street anyi tichara nwunye ya Ihe,gbaa ya oto.Nwanyi akuru ara ka mgbilimgba na agbaghari na road.Amaghim ka ufodu ndi siri luo Di na nwunye nke ha,Di na nwunye ugbua buzi oku na mmiri.oburu na Nwanyia eyighi nwoke a egwu, O ga etiriri ya Ihe ozo.Anam Ekpere unu Ekpere nwannem,ihe umu nwanyi na ako na foruma Di egwu!

dayokanu:

So what should she do about the cheating husband who has condoms in his pocket? Buy him more condoms or organize babes for him?

And About the beating what should she do? Should she keep on taking the punches, head smashing on stabilizer and soon concrete

I just want to understand what you would tell your sister is she comes to tell you she found condom in her husbands pocket and when she asked questions she got beaten up badly

Nice questions, and these are the answers to it.

I never said that its a wrong step she took by asking her husband. Since she knows that the man is the anger type, she should not stressing the issue. I believe, she did not just asked the man and the man started beating her immediately.

In the area of beating, it isn't a new thing , they have a way to sort it out. She should go on her kneels in prayers and believing God to change him. No marriage is bed of roses.

Thanks

zhukafa:

Nice questions, and these are the answers to it.

I never said that its a wrong step she took by asking her husband. Since she knows that the man is the anger type, she should not stressing the issue. I believe, she did not just asked the man and the man started beating her immediately.

You mean if the man is cheating on her she shouldnt be stressing the issue? So what should she do instead? I am really curious.

And she asked that is she free to carry condoms around and use it also which resulted in her beating. So once again what should she have done instead?

maybe when she sees her husband banging a babe on their bed he should bring fan for them or what exactly

In the area of beating, it isn't a new thing , they have a way to sort it out. She should go on her kneels in prayers and believing God to change him. No marriage is bed of roses.

Thanks

Beating is not a new thing thats interesting, Smashing head on stabilizer is also not a new thing. have you heard of women who died or became disabled as a result of incessant abuse?

May God really help us

@zhukafa, seriously I need to know what your smoking? i am a 100% sure you're the type that would let all hell break lose if you find your partner cheating, but here u are saying the woman should do siddon look

dayokanu:

You mean if the man is cheating on her she shouldnt be stressing the issue? So what should she do instead? I am really curious.

And she asked that is she free to carry condoms around and use it also which resulted in her beating. So once again what should she have done instead?

maybe when she sees her husband banging a babe on their bed he should bring fan for them or what exactly




Beating is not a new thing thats interesting, Smashing head on stabilizer is also not a new thing. have you heard of women who died or became disabled as a result of incessant abuse?

May God really help us

I repeat my self, she shouldn't stress the issue when he is angry, not to tempt the man. Maybe when the man is a better mode, she can chat it over with me. I believe the man would not beat her.

For smashing her head over a stabilizer, it's anger. That's why I adviced her to learn how to put her family in prayers. She should pray to God to wipe off the spirit of anger from her husband.

Thanks.

steph7: @zhukafa, seriously I need to know what your smoking? i am a 100% sure you're the type that would let all hell break lose if you find your partner cheating, but here u are saying the woman should do siddon look

Woman, please don't insult me , ok. If you want to talk to me , talk straight to me. Why asking what am smoking. Please apply respect.

Thanks.

zhukafa:

I repeat my self, she shouldn't stress the issue when he is angry, not to tempt the man. Maybe when the man is a better mode, she can chat it over with me. I believe the man would not beat her.

For smashing her head over a stabilizer, it's anger. That's why I adviced her to learn how to put her family in prayers. She should pray to God to wipe off the spirit of anger from her husband.

Thanks.

Chat it over ke, so if you see your wife with condoms, you would leave her because she's angry and chat it over later?.

^^^ Bro, this your last post is very funny.

I agree that she can make the atmosphere less provocative next time but telling her to only pray does not work.


Prayer is good but God expects us to do our part too. The husband needs help urgently on controlling his anger before the wife becomes another Arowolo.

zhukafa:

Woman, please don't insult me , ok. If you want to talk to me , talk straight to me. Why asking what am smoking. Please apply respect.

Thanks.

By their speech you shall know them. Any man that says 'woman' obviously has issues and won't hesitate to 'teach her a lesson'. thank God @steph7 is not there with you. Lord knows what you would have done to her.

honey86:
Chat it over ke, so if you see your wife with condoms, you would leave her because she's angry and chat it over later?.

Always remember that he is the MAN. Anyway am not in advice to that, but two wrongs don't make any right. She has to be the one enduring and praying to God for a change.

Thanks

bellong: ^^^ Bro, this your last post is very funny.

I agree that she can make the atmosphere less provocative next time but telling her to only pray does not work.


Prayer is good but God expects us to do our part too. The husband needs help urgently on controlling his anger before the wife becomes another Arowolo.

That's why I said she should talk to the husband when in a more better mode. Also I repeat she should always put it in prayers. Most marriages fail because It wasn't built on Gods foundation.

Thanks

honey86:
By their speech you shall know them. Any man that says 'woman' obviously has issues and won't hesitate to 'teach her a lesson'. thank God @steph7 is not there with you. Lord knows what you would have done to her.

Yes , she is a woman, so I don't see any thing wrong in it. My dear, I don't get hurt easily okay. I only told her to apply respect.

Thanks

Hate it when grown women act like they ve got no choice!
My Dad has never beaten my mom,
I have never beaten a girl and never will I unless in self defence
No man will beat my sisters
No man will beat my daughters( if I get to have any)

Trust me you CAN SET IT AS A STANDERED that NO MAN SHOULD BEAT YOU!
Can't you file an assault?
Don't come here to ask us if you were wrong like there is any circumstance it if permissible for ANYONE to beat you up!
Will teach my daughters to expect more for themselves!

Peggykorol, I am not sure of what advice to give oooooo BUT I can tell you I grew in such family and my mum is yet to recover from it! We the kids felt it most. Imagine I am the only girl, do you the impact on me on the way I saw every man that came my way (if not for deliberate decisions I took and God)!, my heart is in constant shake for my siblings and how they might behave, hmmmmmmmmmm. I am in constant touch with their girl fronds and praying hardly not to replicate what they grew in ( you might think they should learn from it blablabla, but I tell ou most times its psychological).

Take the bull by the horns early now, stand up for yourself, be as independt as you can be on all sides! Respect him ooo, show your other side ones in a while, organize some 'teach him a lesson' clean one ooooo, ensure there sufficient money in his account for ............... Pray for forgiveness and pray for HIM ( no b me advice you ooo, abeg)

Bottom line, don't allow LOVE blindfold ya eyes ooo and remember wisdom is profitable to direct.

@op please pay attention to the previous post especially points 2, 3 and 6. Additionally, I think that the last thing you should do is call a family meeting...he will see that as an attack. This thing has 2 solutions that will be used together and I know that in no distant time, you will see the visible results. First, if you don't pray, there is no better time than now to start. Pray and don't stop praying. Commit him into God's hands. As you are praying for him to change, pray that God will help you through the process and also help you become a better person. Secondly, operation finish him with kindness. This man knows who his wife is....he just needs a little help. Even if you see him on top of another woman, don't talk. Whether you see him with a pack of condoms, keep quiet. Wake up early, make breakfast for him, keep the house clean, keep the food coming, keep the sex too coming. Just leave him with the condoms... at least in this phase, that'll protect you against any probable stds. Infact when he is leaving the house in the morning, say a word of prayer or just a word..."may you find favour today", "it is well with you today", "have a lovely day, dear", "drive safe". Even during the day, send him a message or two... Try to remember why you fell in love in the first place... Send something like "hey dear, just checking on you. Remember that I love you. Have a nice day/ take care dear. " If it's in the afternoon or early evening you can add a subtle "see you soon". Then one day wear sexy lingerie with all the romantic atmosphere ish, give him the sex of his life. Trust me when I say that things will change for the better. It may hurt, to be so calm and prayerful especially to someone that seemingly does not deserve it; that's why I said that in your prayers, ask God for strength. He seems to get violent only when you've found him out not all the time. So just turn a blind eye to all his vices. All I have said may seem funny but try God and see. Take on a cooler and quieter character. Just be patient. Add a lot of love to the mix. And always speak quietly to him, remember, no fights or arguments. Your life is extremely important. I trust God that at the end, very soon your husband will be the one to come back and apologise to you. P.s. Just send a message or two a day... He'll start looking forward to them. Those girls are just distractions, they are just for sex. Soon and very soon, he'll be back home to you his wife; where he belongs.

As for the fellow suggesting that she should respect him because he is a man,A man ceases to command respect in his home the day he decides to fool himself by being unfaithful,he deserves worst than insults.


Wth are you saying To be respectful why talking to a cheating bastardGod have mercy on women that married men with this daft mentality. You are stripped off every shred of respect the day your wife catches you cheating,that day a kitchen rat will be entitled to more respect than you do.


Op,please don't listen to anybody that is telling you to just fold your hands and keep praying,You ll only add to the statistics of women that spent their entire lives scraping the floors of churches with their knees.Pray from a distanceoooooo,the woman that was roasted to death by her hubby in Aba came back from the church the day she was roasted. God has given us brains to think,please put yours into effective use.i hope you have no kids for this man.

I must be sincere, coming to this family section is starting to get scary for we singles. Abi na only me dey feel lyk dis
Funny enough, it's not even the stories that scare me, it's some people's comments.
Can you imagine what @zhukafa is saying

alutacontinua: I must be sincere, coming to this family section is starting to get scary for we singles. Abi na only me dey feel lyk dis
Funny enough, it's not even the stories that scare me, it's some people's comments.
Can you imagine what @zhukafa is saying

50% are not true. A lot of bored and frustrated people here who make up stories.

baby_123:

50% are not true. A lot of bored and frustrated people here who make up stories.

Thanks ma-am, so, you're saying those comments are not a reflection of who they really are cos it's not even the stories, it's the comments! I just can't imagine a man in this 2013 who would get to put a woman in his house or has one already thinks like that man just portrayed up there.

ifeojobas: @op please pay attention to the previous post especially points 2, 3 and 6. Additionally, I think that the last thing you should do is call a family meeting...he will see that as an attack. This thing has 2 solutions that will be used together and I know that in no distant time, you will see the visible results. First, if you don't pray, there is no better time than now to start. Pray and don't stop praying. Commit him into God's hands. As you are praying for him to change, pray that God will help you through the process and also help you become a better person. Secondly, operation finish him with kindness. This man knows who his wife is....he just needs a little help. Even if you see him on top of another woman, don't talk. Whether you see him with a pack of condoms, keep quiet. Wake up early, make breakfast for him, keep the house clean, keep the food coming, keep the sex too coming. Just leave him with the condoms... at least in this phase, that'll protect you against any probable stds. Infact when he is leaving the house in the morning, say a word of prayer or just a word..."may you find favour today", "it is well with you today", "have a lovely day, dear", "drive safe". Even during the day, send him a message or two... Try to remember why you fell in love in the first place... Send something like "hey dear, just checking on you. Remember that I love you. Have a nice day/ take care dear. " If it's in the afternoon or early evening you can add a subtle "see you soon". Then one day wear sexy lingerie with all the romantic atmosphere ish, give him the sex of his life. Trust me when I say that things will change for the better. It may hurt, to be so calm and prayerful especially to someone that seemingly does not deserve it; that's why I said that in your prayers, ask God for strength. He seems to get violent only when you've found him out not all the time. So just turn a blind eye to all his vices. All I have said may seem funny but try God and see. Take on a cooler and quieter character. Just be patient. Add a lot of love to the mix. And always speak quietly to him, remember, no fights or arguments. Your life is extremely important. I trust God that at the end, very soon your husband will be the one to come back and apologise to you. P.s. Just send a message or two a day... He'll start looking forward to them. Those girls are just distractions, they are just for sex. Soon and very soon, he'll be back home to you his wife; where he belongs.

Thanks.

alutacontinua:

Thanks ma-am, so, you're saying those comments are not a reflection of who they really are cos it's not even the stories, it's the comments! I just can't imagine a man in this 2013 who would get to put a woman in his house or has one already thinks like that man just portrayed up there.

Just stick by what you want in life and you should be fine. If you bow to pressure or become desperate, then no matter what, you will end up with the wrong person. Life is all about choices. The OP made her choice. She cannot say she did not see this coming. At least she would have seen the part where she cannot question him when he does wrong.

byvan: As for the fellow suggesting that she should respect him because he is a man,A man ceases to command respect in his home the day he decides to fool himself by being unfaithful,he deserves worst than insults.


Wth are you saying To be respectful why talking to a cheating bastardGod have mercy on women that married men with this daft mentality. You are stripped off every shred of respect the day your wife catches you cheating,that day a kitchen rat will be entitled to more respect than you do.


Op,please don't listen to anybody that is telling you to just fold your hands and keep praying,You ll only add to the statistics of women that spent their entire lives scraping the floors of churches with their knees.Pray from a distanceoooooo,the woman that was roasted to death by her hubby in Aba came back from the church the day she was roasted. God has given us brains to think,please put yours into effective use.i hope you have no kids for this man.

Point of correction, not just a man rather "The MAN" . He is the head of the family, so you accord him that respect.

I still repeat myself, what the woman needs is prayers. She should tighten up her prayer buckles , nothing is impossible for God to do. God is the initiator of marriages , so she needs to ask God for strength .

Thanks.

alutacontinua: I must be sincere, coming to this family section is starting to get scary for we singles. Abi na only me dey feel lyk dis
Funny enough, it's not even the stories that scare me, it's some people's comments.
Can you imagine what @zhukafa is saying

Nothing should scare you, where have I gone wrong, point it out.

Thanks

baby_123:

Just stick by what you want in life and you should be fine. If you bow to pressure or become desperate, then no matter what, you will end up with the wrong person. Life is all about choices. The OP made her choice. She cannot say she did not see this coming. At least she would have seen the part where she cannot question him when he does wrong.

Thanks!

zhukafa:

Nothing should scare you, where have I gone wrong, point it out.

Thanks

For starters, if the roles were to be reversed and it's the guy that came to say he saw condoms in his wife's car, would you still endorse that ifeojoba's post?

ifeojobas: @op please pay attention to the previous post especially points 2, 3 and 6. Additionally, I think that the last thing you should do is call a family meeting...he will see that as an attack. This thing has 2 solutions that will be used together and I know that in no distant time, you will see the visible results. First, if you don't pray, there is no better time than now to start. Pray and don't stop praying. Commit him into God's hands. As you are praying for him to change, pray that God will help you through the process and also help you become a better person. Secondly, operation finish him with kindness. This man knows who his wife is....he just needs a little help. Even if you see him on top of another woman, don't talk. Whether you see him with a pack of condoms, keep quiet. Wake up early, make breakfast for him, keep the house clean, keep the food coming, keep the sex too coming. Just leave him with the condoms... at least in this phase, that'll protect you against any probable stds. Infact when he is leaving the house in the morning, say a word of prayer or just a word..."may you find favour today", "it is well with you today", "have a lovely day, dear", "drive safe". Even during the day, send him a message or two... Try to remember why you fell in love in the first place... Send something like "hey dear, just checking on you. Remember that I love you. Have a nice day/ take care dear. " If it's in the afternoon or early evening you can add a subtle "see you soon". Then one day wear sexy lingerie with all the romantic atmosphere ish, give him the sex of his life. Trust me when I say that things will change for the better. It may hurt, to be so calm and prayerful especially to someone that seemingly does not deserve it; that's why I said that in your prayers, ask God for strength. He seems to get violent only when you've found him out not all the time. So just turn a blind eye to all his vices. All I have said may seem funny but try God and see. Take on a cooler and quieter character. Just be patient. Add a lot of love to the mix. And always speak quietly to him, remember, no fights or arguments. Your life is extremely important. I trust God that at the end, very soon your husband will be the one to come back and apologise to you. P.s. Just send a message or two a day... He'll start looking forward to them. Those girls are just distractions, they are just for sex. Soon and very soon, he'll be back home to you his wife; where he belongs.

Good sir,

Is the wife allowed to have small boys as distractions? She has whispered in my ears that she is bored.

zhukafa:

Point of correction, not just a man rather "The MAN" . He is the head of the family, so you accord him that respect.

I still repeat myself, what the woman needs is prayers. She should tighten up her prayer buckles , nothing is impossible for God to do. God is the initiator of marriages , so she needs to ask God for strength .

Thanks.

And in the process if she contracts HIV its also ok?. Most women with the virus contract it from their cheating husbands. Atleast I know a family friend who contracted it from his numerous girlfriends and passed it to his wife. Guess what, this man died, then 2 years later the woman died and left 3 kids to suffer. If she had left when she had the chance, wouldnt she be alive today?.

Condoms burst and leak. Plus have you people heard fake condoms are now in Nigeria? I read a story where someone was arrested for a shipment of fake condoms. Indiscriminate se*x even with condom should not be encouraged please. In this time and age, let everyone respect themselves, their family and their future kids. It is no longer safe to rely on condom.

alutacontinua:

For starters, if the roles were to be reversed and it's the guy that came to say he saw condoms in his wife's car, would you still endorse that ifeojoba's post?

Wisdom supersedes all . I believe seeing condom in my wives car is not the major thing. Is what she told me that matters.

Thanks.

Op,what is his occupation? At least let's know his kind of work.
While he was beating u,u didn't run for ur life? He slapped u and u no pick benjohnson? So tee it generated to smashing head! U want to die bc of condom and women? Assuming u r in a hospital and very unconcious,what will u hv achieved.
It seems u don't value ur life.
My dear,life first b4 any thing else.
Now to d condom tori,if it were me,I will be very angry,infact fuming and when very angry, anything can come out from my mouth.so in dis case when I ask abt d cd and voices start to rise, I will withdraw.I might go away from d vicinity to cool my head and restrategise. Buy then my voice must hv calmed a bit.(But I must get to d bottom of this) I will leave it for that day. Though I will be fuming inside but I maintain a calm front as long as it takes. Will take him by suprise d day he least expects it, is he not my husband? I must get d truth out from him.once I get what I want,we can now talk the talk.

U would hv lost ur life when u should hv applied simple wisdom.

Some men,I no fit talk,infact no need to say what I will do to a man that will beat me.heaven knows I will never meet such again in my life.
Sorry op,pls take care of urself

zhukafa:

Wisdom supersedes all . I believe seeing condom in my wives car is not the major thing. Is what she told me that matters.

Thanks.

She told you like the OP that its in your own interest she uses condom and its the safest thing she can do for now.

Thanks.