No one wants their partner keeping secrets from them. Everybody wants the truth of their partner's past, present and sometimes even request for the future if any are available.

Secret telling in relationships actually do build stronger bond, trust and connection.It brings in credibility, reliability and faithfulness to the table. And many relationships have broken because someone wasn't telling their secrets or was even lying about them... interesting! isn't it?

The Truth:

Revealing secrets in relationships is a good thing but at the same time, I think it's a two way thing.

From experience I think there are more relationships that got broken as a result of secret revealing than it's for safeguarding it. The reason is because the human body has this tendency to want to absorb things that it can barely digest... wanting to know every detail but with little capability to handle the truth.

Some secrets are probably not supposed to be told in relationships and this is not because you don't love your partner rather it's the opposite. You keep certain secrets to protect a relationship than it's to destroy it.

Take for example:

I once had a friend whose relationship got broken because he cheated and after that break-up two things happened:

1: He acknowledged that what he did was wrong

2: He was 100% ready for a change

I may have not believed his resolutions but I do strongly know that he believed in himself about it. So it goes, he got into another relationship and you could see his determination to make things right... his NOW girlfriend loved him for his vision about having a healthy relationship but pretty soon he decided to tell the secret behind his last relationship.

And from there on things never remained the same. In the long run, him not answering his calls were interpreted to mean "is he doing it again"? His close relationships with other women were also misinterpreted to mean "Men will always be cheats"... etc.

So let me ask:

Did you notice in this case that revealing the secret builds in NEGATIVITY instead of the usual positivity?

Did you also notice that BOY told his secrets because he was ready for a change but that wasn't exactly how GIRL saw it?

Why?

Because revealing the secret created another world for the woman to study, a world that is built with elements of doubts, negativity as compared to the former one which was just the NICE MAN before her all this while, a nice man who was on a mission for a change.

So regardless of how you think revealing secrets makes a relationship healthy, it's important to recognize what elements are built in around your little secrets, is it going to create positivity or otherwise... in other-words the psychological impact.

As long as you're ready for a change about a particular error of yours, telling it, is not worth it. But if you've doubts you can share it and ask for help and also pray your listener buys into your new ambition.

www.flaubertajiero..co.uk

Lovely article. Somethings are better left unsaid!!!

Flaubert Ajiero: No one wants their partner keeping secrets from them. Everybody wants the truth of their partner's past, present and sometimes even request for the future if any are available.

Secret telling in relationships actually do build stronger bond, trust and connection.It brings in credibility, reliability and faithfulness to the table. And many relationships have broken because someone wasn't telling their secrets or was even lying about them... interesting! isn't it?

The Truth:

Revealing secrets in relationships is a good thing but at the same time, I think it's a two way thing.

From experience I think there are more relationships that got broken as a result of secret revealing than it's for safeguarding it. The reason is because the human body has this tendency to want to absorb things that it can barely digest... wanting to know every detail but with little capability to handle the truth.

Some secrets are probably not supposed to be told in relationships and this is not because you don't love your partner rather it's the opposite. You keep certain secrets to protect a relationship than it's to destroy it.

Take for example:

I once had a friend whose relationship got broken because he cheated and after that break-up two things happened:

1: He acknowledged that what he did was wrong

2: He was 100% ready for a change

I may have not believed his resolutions but I do strongly know that he believed in himself about it. So it goes, he got into another relationship and you could see his determination to make things right... his NOW girlfriend loved him for his vision about having a healthy relationship but pretty soon he decided to tell the secret behind his last relationship.

And from there on things never remained the same. In the long run, him not answering his calls were interpreted to mean "is he doing it again"? His close relationships with other women were also misinterpreted to mean "Men will always be cheats"... etc.

So let me ask:

Did you notice in this case that revealing the secret builds in NEGATIVITY instead of the usual positivity?

Did you also notice that BOY told his secrets because he was ready for a change but that wasn't exactly how GIRL saw it?

Why?

Because revealing the secret created another world for the woman to study, a world that is built with elements of doubts, negativity as compared to the former one which was just the NICE MAN before her all this while, a nice man who was on a mission for a change.

So regardless of how you think revealing secrets makes a relationship healthy, it's important to recognize what elements are built in around your little secrets, is it going to create positivity or otherwise... in other-words the psychological impact.

As long as you're ready for a change about a particular error of yours, telling it, is not worth it. But if you've doubts you can share it and ask for help and also pray your listener buys into your new ambition.

www.flaubertajiero.com