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Keeping Secrets in a Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by mali(m): 1:08pm On Oct 20, 2005
Can you reveal your secret to your partner? For me I think it is not good for someone to [fully reveal] himself or herself to the partner. Even if you want to tell your partner anything, just 45percent is okay. For we guys you know what makes a man is what you have inside and what you are.

So if you meet a girl who claims to be caring and loving and you went and tell her everything about yourself, I don't think she will take you as anything again
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by hotangel2(f): 6:33pm On Oct 20, 2005
Wow.. this is interesting.

We all know a relationship should be based on trust and truthfulness. But i must say, telling someone Errthing about you.. kinda degrades you. You should say just the things you know are needed.. as in talk "basically" not "everythingcally".

If you tell someone everything about you, that's like hey.. You have gotten everything... and the person will really not be eager to know more about you. Soooo... ermm, keep some stuffs to urself.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 7:39pm On Oct 20, 2005
It depends on the relationship, if we're going to get married for sure, yea, i'll let him know what's up[dat's if i have anything]. if we're just fooling around[ and 50% of the time, dat's wat we do], i can let him in on some and keep the rest to myself. besides if it dosen't work out, then he knows all my stuff and he'll just start running his mouth to his friends and that isn't good for friendship.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by loveth(f): 1:03pm On Oct 21, 2005
It is not normal to reveal all your secrets
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by nike4luv(f): 1:42pm On Oct 21, 2005
i know it is not normal because, to keep a relationship straight , you have to be straight with each other
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by opeyemi(m): 4:07pm On Oct 21, 2005
like scorpio said: it depends on the kind of relationship. But for me, I think the thing is to be open and fair to your partner. Why in the heaven or on earth should you keep anything from him/her. Of course you may not be able to remember all at a time. But as you go on and discussion arises, then tell him/her everything you ccan remember and the issue(s) been discussed. I mean tell all secrets. It helps the relationship and also builds it.

If you refuse to tell all secrets in a serious (marriage to-be) relationship, then what will happen if/when your partner then finds out? Will you lie to cover it or tell the truth then? Even when the truth is told then at that time, it will never be thesame as telling it before then.

There is nothing as good as telling it all in a relationship.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by jenny247(f): 10:39pm On Oct 21, 2005
it's okay to tell everything if the relationship is one that will lead to marriage but then again it's not like you have to start confessing your sins or reading out your life like a book. talk when needed and use your discretion. Honesty, they say is the best policy but i say,in addition to honesty, be tactful.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by hotangel2(f): 10:40pm On Oct 21, 2005
opeyemi:

There is nothing as good as telling it all in a relationship.

I beg to disagree. When you tell it all, What's there to look forward to knowing? You just cant tell it all. Say the major things-- but not errthang.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 4:47am On Oct 22, 2005
i would agree that you should keep secrets. . .but i'm thinking that those who feel secrets should be kept are the one's who'd have boyfriends or girlfriends who feel the opposite way. . . you can never win!
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by SirKay3(m): 11:30am On Oct 22, 2005
It's better to keep it open, no secret
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by mali(m): 4:41pm On Oct 23, 2005
scorpio,NoNO,are u trying to tell me that if you belong to a secretcult you will tell your wife?
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 7:29pm On Oct 23, 2005
Hey, if you say you love your wife and all, you'll tell her. who knows maybe it wasn't by choice, maybe you were forced into it or somn. if she dosen't want to get married because of that, cool. look for someone else, at least you tried telling her and[supposedly] you guyz were going to get married. It's way better than waiting till y'all get married and then there'll be second world war occuring in your house. cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by whiteshark(m): 8:31pm On Oct 23, 2005
B4 we can answer this question properly, we have to understand the kind/type of relationship we are discussing. Is it a casual relationship or a one night stand kind of thing. We have relationships that are purely sexual and do not involve any form or emotions whatsoever. You cannot tell things in such cases. These kinds are for pleasure and that’s it but not if u r in a relationship that might lead to marriage. When do u now want to tell him/her everything about yourself and your past, wen una don hook up final No way folks, you have to tell gradually as the relationship progresses. Before it matures to that extent that u guys wanna share vows, ur babe gasto know basically everything about you. There are stuffs that you might not want to talk about but that does not mean that he or she does not know about them. It is the best and surest way to go. For me, I do not have any secrets so I do not av dis problem. If you ask, I shall tell except I choose not to but I will not denial and I would certainly volunteer information’s gradually until I have built a strong and stable relationship. When I am fully sure, I will spill the whole beans straight up onetime!!!
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by opeyemi(m): 5:37pm On Oct 24, 2005
@ hot-angel.

by 'telling it all', i dont mean saying everything at a go. It is not even possible to say it all at once. You may as well become a talkactive if you do that. It is as events unfold and situations warrants. But make sure you tell the 'relationship-threatning' once before he/she hears it elsewhere

cheers
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Trooper(m): 1:08am On Oct 28, 2005
I have plenty of secrets and won't share them with anybody ! No matter what and this is not a question of trusting your partner !
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by ldollier(f): 2:17am On Oct 30, 2005
some things r just not meant to be heard... i have got some secrets in ma closet.... ma man don need to hear em. CAZ WAT HE DONT KNO WONT HURT..
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 2:19am On Oct 30, 2005
You know how these things are, at the time you least expect it to happen(as in when your secrets start revealin themselves), that's when it does. wat'll you do then?
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Seun(m): 2:26am On Oct 30, 2005
Except for very serious crimes, I don't see what secrets could be so serious that you'll want to take them with you to the grave. I want people to be able to learn from my mistakes.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 5:13am On Oct 30, 2005
secret is: you slept with her younger and older sister, her mother, cousin, and aunt - in moments of weakness. But you are a strong God fearing man now.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 9:08pm On Oct 30, 2005
cheesy cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by hotangel2(f): 10:43pm On Oct 30, 2005
allonym!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 10:50pm On Oct 30, 2005
I'm tellin you HA, dude is crazy o cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by hotangel2(f): 10:50pm On Oct 30, 2005
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 11:11pm On Oct 30, 2005
weakness girls. . .a moment of weakness! Well. . a few moments of weakness - assuming it didn't all happen at once. . .
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 11:12pm On Oct 30, 2005
though I suppose if you did it all at once. . that would kinda be a moment of strength. . in some regard. .
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Scorpio(f): 11:20pm On Oct 30, 2005
cheesy cheesy You're a case allonym cheesy, i get ur point tho cheesy
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by vexxy(f): 4:06pm On Oct 31, 2005
No, I would not tell all. A persons heart is full of secrets; some to be shared, some not.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Trooper(m): 1:48am On Nov 05, 2005
@ allonym, another secret you better keep would be if you slept with her mother AND her younger sister at the same time......
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 5:09am On Nov 05, 2005
lol @ trooper, I got ya.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by Z4M4eva(f): 2:58pm On Nov 10, 2005
Hey man, That ain't too good yo, ya don't keep secrets 4rm a relationship. When da cat if finally let outta da bag, there's gonna be BIG QUALMS , nat too good wink
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by allonym: 11:15pm On Nov 10, 2005
Z4M4eva:

Hey man, That ain't too good yo, ya don't keep secrets from a relationship. When da cat if finally let out of da bag, there's going to be BIG QUALMS , nat too good wink

Thats why you DON'T let the cat out of the bag.
Re: Keeping Secrets in a Relationship by hotchic1(f): 7:38pm On May 02, 2007
You have to keep secrets but as time moves on,i think you have to unfold and kinda minimise it till you have none,the only thing you got to do then is to keep the fact that you have no other secert away from your partner.I met my guy at a very tender age and had little stuffs to hide then,and since am in the relationship,i carry him along,it shows how close you are and gives you peace of mind that you have got no skeleton in your cupboard,its a secret to keepin a happy home.

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