i feel 4 u sha,sinx she has nt always bin lyk dat i suspect sumtin...try nd sit wit her nd discuss bout dis u cud also pray 2...gudluck

AdeCisco: My people, my wife is not always in the mood for sex. It has always been like that even when we were dating. I used to think she would change. Now am facing the music. This makes me want to stray. It takes a lot of energy and fighting for us to have sex. She claims she's tired becos she drives a long journey to the office and faces traffic. Could this reason be genuine? Career women can this be true? Am disturbed. Weekends when we are supposed to stay indoor, she goes to her family house. Pls help. This is the 3rd year and no children yet. I know guys on nairaland would say outrightly that she's cheating. How can I get proofs? Any software. Pls help. IJN

Maybe she naturally don't like it since you are saying is being going on before your marriage, try and talk to your pastor or any expert, she needs councelling.

No pastor! Sit her arse down and make it a big deal! Make her understand that it might break the union. Turn it into something big and she will realize it. She willl change if she really loves you and won't if she doesn't ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡)../¯

Did she have a healthy sex life with previous partners?

Maybe you just don't turn her on... or it could be hormones. Have her see a doctor.

see a gyneacologist, then afterwards both of you can adjourn to a marriage counsellor. ***MARRIAGE WITHOUT S£X IS ON A SUPER HIGHWAY TO HELL***

Maybe if you try to be more romantic and creative sexually she will give it to you some more.

Arosa: Maybe if you try to be more romantic and creative sexually she will give it to you some more.

I doubt it..

A nun in marriage is still a nun.

I be wan advice u, then u come put IJN for d end of ur post weh i no understnd, abi u wan say JNI (Jama'atul Nasril Islam)? Or do u wnt advice frm only ur xtian brethren? eh sisqo?

lwkm as yung people dey advice married man lol like dey know what it takes.

make i still put mouth sha leave her for a while make her feel jealous. women fear rivalry than the devil she'll surely come begging for it

How else does a man seduce a woman when every thing I do she shoves it away. ?
Thanks to every1 who has contributed so far

and some ediots go tell me say ''no sex b4 marriage'' tufiakwa!

Yungwizzzy: lwkm as yung people dey advice married man lol like dey know what it takes.

make i still put mouth sha leave her for a while make her feel jealous. women fear rivalry than the devil she'll surely come begging for it

√√√√

The solution is simple. Get yourself a sex partner out there and let her be, stop hurting yourself and your wife. Life is just too short to stay unhappy.

Yungwizzzy: lwkm as yung people dey advice married man lol like dey know what it takes.

make i still put mouth sha leave her for a while make her feel jealous. women fear rivalry than the devil she'll surely come begging for it

Some singles/young are more experienced in séxual related matters than the married folks. Don't underestimate them.

If you are sure she's not cheating on you, then the culprit could be her low libido. Maybe you should see a doctor. Then making her feel jealous like some people have advised could make her do the needful. But I hope it won't boomerang. Just be careful.

Jenams: and some ediots go tell me say ''no sex b4 marriage'' tufiakwa!

Sex before marriage can still hold. Its all about the chemistry between you guys.....when there's sexual tension and sexual frustration especially when making out its a good enough sign bout how the sex would be.


@OP is your wife attracted to you?
Does she even love you? For three years, she just cant keep putting off one of the most beautiful things about marriage without a good reason. Sit her äss down and talk to her, make it an everyday issue, stress it.....maybe she'll just tell you why she doesnt get Hot around you.

OP i will advise you against involving in two things which will ruin your life and marriage, defile the glory and favour of God in your marriage for the bible says that "he who findeth a wife obtainth favour from the Lord". The two things are divorce and cheating/adultery. On no account should you ever cheat on your wife. I read a story on this nairaland yesterday about a woman whose husband has not being able to satisfy her sexually for good 4 years and yet she stood her ground not to sleep with another man and will still be a good wife to her husband. That is love, that is selflessness, that is patient, that is hope, that is tolerant, that is a heavy sacrifice and that is the character of standing the test of time and also what marriage is all about. she even mentioned that the husband does not care about improving and even at that she will never cheat instead she will keep fighting for her marriage. Now can you see the attitude of persistant and tolerance? The bible says that a man should love his wife like his own body, when you sleep with another woman, you have not only hurt your wife but have also destroy the vow, now can you hurt your own body? On no account should you commit adultery. You must determine to bring a change in her behaviour towards sex, determine and swing into action. Don't even fake an attitude of cheating on her or pretending to have a mistress outside because it may kill the marriage entirely, all women are not the same. She may start cheating or doing other nasty things. Don't allow the devil to use you like that because devil is very intelligent and smarter than humans. At the end of your post you made the statement of monitoring her to see if you will catch her in adultery and still went ahead to add "IJN", hmm wonders. You knew that your wife has been like that, why then did you marry? Now you want to monitor her as if her refusal for sex is a new development. MR. Divorce should never come into this because that woman might be your heaven appointed wife and if you make that mistake you may regret why you came into this world when you marry the second wife, don't ever make a costly mistake because you will leave to regret it. Go to your pastor or priest, to help you build your marriage. Seek a commited christian who is a marriage counsellor. We have them in the church and they don't need your money to counsel you and your wife. Please stand on your feet as the man of the house and fight for your marriage for you are the head and that is your duty, to fight for your marriage as christ did and still does for His church.

Here is my advice, you may wanna call it supernatural or whatever but, hey it's just my advice so bleep what you're gonna call it.
I say your wife has a spiritual husband. She makes love in dreams and she loves that spiritual husband alone(surely,she can't be having sex with two different men).
Take her to prophet T.b. Joshua.
Spiritual partners don't allow their partners to enjoy real sex with their earthly lovers.
Kpom.

bros! check her out.she might be enjoying one fellow woman somewhere.

Babiloko: i feel 4 u sha,sinx she has nt always bin lyk dat i suspect sumtin...try nd sit wit her nd discuss bout dis u cud also pray 2...gudluck

olodo! Didnt u read d part where he said she had always bin that way and he hoped she'd change?dese ladies on NL sef! Dude follow ur church mind,if u tink she's cheatin,den she is!

Op, is there anything bothering her, like heartbreak or rape in the past, cos I was like ur wife b4 nothing excites me about s*x until I let go of my past. Ask her why she don't like it.

maxwello.yg:
Here is my advice, you may wanna call it supernatural or whatever but, hey it's just my advice so bleep what you're gonna call it.
I say your wife has a spiritual husband. She makes love in dreams and she loves that spiritual husband alone(surely,she can't be having sex with two different men).
Take her to prophet T.b. Joshua.
Spiritual partners don't allow their partners to enjoy real sex with their earthly lovers.
Kpom.

Guy you harsh o...abeg calm down

brito: Op, is there anything bothering her, like heartbreak or rape in the past, cos I was like ur wife b4 nothing excites me about s*x until I let go of my past. Ask her why she don't like it.

[color=#006600][/color]. Exactly,had the same problem in my marriage such that for 3months I won't even hv the need for sex with hubby eventhough,we sleep and wake up on the same bed. Mine was as a result of my past relationship,I was never always in d mood or most times,I will feign headache.Op u can't do much to change her except she is willing to change. What changed me was d fear that I was losing my husband to another,all d best!

My brother ofcourse it is a family affair but never relent because it might get worst than this, mine had wanted to happend the same way but i report to her parents and they cautioned her now she surrendered whenever i need it. Pls u don't need to be ashamed. Am happy sha bicos it is my first time to comment on nairaland.

don't u read before u comment? he said it has been like dat when were dating thinking dat she will change . read well pls

Babiloko: i feel 4 u sha,sinx she has nt always bin lyk dat i suspect sumtin...try nd sit wit her nd discuss bout dis u cud also pray 2...gudluck

Did someone say talk to ur pastor? Smh.

Op never involve any pastor
Don't even go cheating outside
See std's everywhere
Cheating will ruin ur marriage
Never take such advice from anyone.

What exactly has she complain about apart from stress of driving thru and fro work?
What are her past experience about s3x and her views about s3x like?
Does she express fear or she just dislikes the s3x itself?

It's better u talk it over with her
or you suggest both of you see a counselling psychologist in the field, otherwise you see her parents.
They must have been very close to her so they could assist find out what her problem is.

Beync: Did someone say talk to ur pastor? Smh.

Op never involve any pastor
Don't even go cheating outside
See std's everywhere
Cheating will ruin ur marriage
Never take such advice from anyone.

What exactly has she complain about apart from stress of driving thru and fro work?
What are her past experience about s3x and her views about s3x like?
Does she express fear or she just dislikes the s3x itself?

It's better u talk it over with her
or you suggest both of you see a counselling psychologist in the field, otherwise you see her parents.
They must have been very close to her so they could assist find out what her problem is.

That's one problem you girls have. You scream you wanna keep your virginity till after marriage. Yet, nobody knows how boring or adventurous your s3x life is. Mtchew
boring sex is worse than staying in hell